The Orcs have ceased raiding the border towns for the last three months

The Orcs have ceased raiding the border towns for the last three months.

Anyone who dares to get close to their camps reports something new--the echoing sounds of polka.

What happens?

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Weird Orc Yankovic?
Weird Al Orkovic?
OR Weird Al Yankorcvic.
Which one sounds the best?
Either way it's gonna get hammy up in here.

That joke with the hand sign has been around since I was in elementary school and I still have no fucking idea what's so funny about it

If someone makes you look at it below their belt they get to punch you.

I take it you were a big enough kid that nobody wanted to punch you.

>The Orcs have discovered music, and it changed their society
>This music has put them into happier, productive moods, letting their rage boil away to nothing
>They offer any who come close the opportunity to dance and drink the night away
>For a time. Then they realise they need more music to make their polkas great.
>Orks begin raiding towns again in a year or two, kidnapping the best musicians to hand, taking instruments, sheet music. Anything they can get their hands on.
>The people live in fear of the silhouettes skipping on the horizon, of the slowly rising sound of an upbeat mish-mash of the last year's greatest hits.

>to the walls! The war accordians are sounding!

>the local lands become de facto tributary states, with local rulers grooming their best musicians to be kidnapped without fuss or struggle
>to assist with this, local propaganda paints the orcs as a kind of musical college, and aspiring bards compete to be sent to them
>the orcs eventually come into conflict with another rising power, which challenges them for primacy in the local talent hunting grounds
>Morris Trolls
>Only time will tell if the dancing fascination of the Troll Clans and the aural fixation of the Orcish Hordes will ever reconcile themselves
>For now, the fields are red with fallen handkerchiefs, and the mournful cries of pierced accordions echo through every valley

>Your party is a collection of those who know their music best. Folk, Rock, Metal, Jazz, Classical - you can always play it.
>Originally designed to be sacrifices, you threw off those shackles when the Polka never came - and now you're going to take music back where it belongs, in the hands of the people.
>Venturing forth, you attempt to bring your styles into harmony, but distinct - the Polka will not take you, not normalise the funky beats each of you alone can lay down.
>Welcome to Power Ballad. Can you save the world from musical stagnation?

youtube.com/watch?v=2oclDVweTR4

So i guess this guy would be there champion?

I demand an entire campaign plot outline and a system to go along with this.
Along with, most importantly, a soundtrack for each of our heroes and a "Powerballad" for each of them that's their theme for kicking as much ass as possible when their character has their moment.

youtu.be/QAFXayH1bpY

I happen to be a level 7 bard, and by playing something similar I was able to get close to them.

Someone yelled "KURWA!" and they chased me away before I could really see much, but what I saw didn't seem violent or evil.

It's the markings of the new rise of the Orc-Mongolian empire. Tremble before.

A nomadic tribe of Orks complete with throat-singing?

We call Adelf Hitler is what happens. He and his UberAlps will solve this problem!

> not Weirdboy Al Orkavich

The absolute state

>echoing sounds of polka.
Oh fuck, the Waterdeep Illegal jester's Guild is back.

orc as mongol proxy is as a classic one

The dark lord has returned! Truly, all is lost...

A specialized troupe of bards is using music to slowly drain the life from their enemies, and the orcs have succumbed to the polka-DoTs.

Orchella: the final confrontation
>epic electric guitar riff ensues