The king has decreed that all subjects will carry magic wands and learn magic to protect themselves from rogue wizards

Pretty par for the course unless you've only been on Veeky Forums for a couple weeks.

You....all know this is a /pol/ thread, right?

Hogwarts magic. Everyone at school gets a wand.

...

Oh, they know. They just dont care.

Shut up! My fighter has a government mandated excuse to get cantrips! Don't ruin the best day of his life.

>"Sire, we have too many mages running around our kingdom, how would you have us solve this problem?"
>"MORE MAGES!!!!"

>Rogue Wizards
...You mean Arcane Tricksters?

Well, we can't delete it anyway. Might as well have fun with it.

Its that or have a gun control debate on Veeky Forums, and no one wants that.

Veeky Forums is at it's best when it not only swallows the bait whole, but it also absorbs the bait's power and makes it it's own.
That said: how would a setting where everyone has access to magic wands work?

Seems like anti-magic protection would be much more highly developed in this setting. The first thing anyone would teach a new student is "how to cast a spell on yourself that blocks other people's magic from affecting you".

I guess that depends on whether the spell is in the wand or the wand just allows you to cast anything.

Like, DnD style single-spell wands? Everyone having 'access' to spells of create water and cure light wounds is pretty nonthreatening. Its only the dangerous wands you have to keep track of.

Harry Potter style wands can cast anything? Then it becomes a major point to teach magical responsibility and defense. In any reasonable setting 'ethics of spellcasting' is a course required for graduation from wizard school, and so is 'The 10 spells you cast each morning before you leave your house'.

>In any reasonable setting 'ethics of spellcasting' is a course required for graduation from wizard school, and so is 'The 10 spells you cast each morning before you leave your house'.
Given that this whole thread is a metaphor for the gun debate doesn't that mean we aren't living in a reasonable setting?

Sadly, yes.

I have to take a test to get a permit so I can take the courses needed to get a license so I can own and operate a vehicle that if I misuse it can kill me or others by accident.

However, I do not legally need any license or training to own and operate a tool whose express and only purpose is to make alive things not be alive anymore.

And in 30 out of 50 states, I am allowed to own a gun before I can drive, vote, or drink.

This is deeply weird.

>And in 30 out of 50 states, I am allowed to own a gun before I can drive, vote, or drink.
Well to be fair letting people buy guns, drive, vote and drink all the the same time would be a horrible idea.

The problem is, is its not just a gun. Its your car, your computer, your tools for your job, too many other things to list. Imagine if you turned up for a job interview and you were turned away at the door for not flashing your gun around.

Liberal spread of the shield spell would be a good idea.

>all subjects get a wand
>even the crazy ones
>even subjects who boast of their plans to commit crimes against the kingdom

>the Emperor has decreed that all citizens of the Imperium will carry lasguns and learn no heresy to protect themselves from xenos and traitors

I like that this is a) a perfect encapsulation of how 40k is a setting of grimdark satire and b) the Administration's actual "Doomsday Scenario" plan in which it literally just issues lasguns to every citizen in the the most vital planets in the Imperium.

It will continue in this manner until gun deaths manage to be even within a single significant digit of car deaths.
Things that kill more people get more regulation. And cars have killed more people than world war.

>Doomsday Scenario

Isn't the whole setting a doomsday scenario for the Imperium at this point?

If gun deaths reach a point of being on par with car deaths, I'm pretty sure it means we are in a horrifyingly brutal civil war and its sort of too late to be caring about such things as gun control?

No, no, due to how statistics work, if we had a civil war the gun death rate would be WAY higher than car rate, just not for very long.

>"rogue wizards" were once regular wizards who were trained under the government programs like everyone else
>in their arcane studies, they "stumbled upon" the realization that using magic drains one's soul so that it weakens and can be pulled into the lower planes
>they were actually fed this information by shadow government operatives specifically so that they would become rogue wizards
>they try to inform the public and lead targeted attacks on important nexuses of government power, with the aim of setting the people free and preventing them from draining their souls
>but the media circuit labels them as terrorists, and they inadvertently feed into the shadow government agenda by creating the only impetus the public at large has for practicing magic the first place

This is your brain on blood magic

Warhammer Empire encourage people with magic affinity to learn to use it properly at the college, so it's close (and rogue wizards usually get ripped apart by flagellants anyways)

You mean Harry Potter?

What are you talking about? It is absolutely required for you to get licences and take classes if you want a gun. Well, legally anyway

t. braincontrolled wizard apprentice

Depends on the state. Alabama, for example, lets you buy and use a gun without knowing a damn thing about them.

Fuck you, go Pokes.
>implying our team doesn't suck

GOOD DETECTIVE WORK user

>living in a cuck state

...nigga

Why hasn't wyoming been annexed by the superior square state?

>just watched Bright
gotta say, it would be quite an idea in the setting

Because such a thing does not exist.
The only other square state is Colorado and it's a shithole that only gets worse as Denver expands. The only use that state has is weed.

Yeah, the population is reduced by the billions as people explode from not being Brights, killing themselves and the people around them.

So... Hogwarts?

Halruaa turned out okay. Most of them practiced magic, and their threats were largely external. However, if you give Grung and Bung and their ninety orclings wand of their own, their tribe will be incinerated within six hours over some stupid argument.

I will direct Veeky Forums to Konrad Lorenz's studies on wolves: when your entire species has sharp teeth and powerful jaws, you'll naturally gain an aversion to intra-group violence to avoid senseless self-destruction.

>the king is supplying orc tribes with weapons and armor to destabilize rival kingdoms

So what you're saying is that giving wands to everyone is the perfect plan. It makes all of the lesser races extinct or nearly extinct, and the higher races are able to become less warlike, possibly funneling resources into something other than magical doomsday devices and weapons of war.

Dispensing wands to all nations and races might be catastrophic for those unable to handle that power, but would it be a good thing? Imagine you're being annoyed by a certain species of coyote or wolf. Get rid of them, and you're suddenly swimming in deer, which means an explosion in the tick population, so Lyme disease becomes a national health issue, and certain plants go extinct due to overgrazing, etc etc.

If you get rid of the orcs by dumping wands in their villages, they will kill each other no doubt, but who knows what happens afterward. What's going to fill that niche? Say a tiny sliver of magic resistant, orcs survive then quickly replenish their lost numbers. What then?

You gotta be careful with that shit.

>If you get rid of the orcs by dumping wands in their villages, they will kill each other no doubt, but who knows what happens afterward. What's going to fill that niche? Say a tiny sliver of magic resistant, orcs survive then quickly replenish their lost numbers. What then?
Yeah, in a few generations you're likely to have a bunch of magic-resistant orcs who are packing wands and understand magic at least in a practical sense. They might even figure out how to produce magic items and wands themselves.

Like, you started with an orc problem, but then you may end up turning it into an orc wizard problem.

>magic resistant orc wizards

Ah, but then we'll simply introduce clerical ogres who thrive on orc meat.

Fuck I laffed

>Be guardsman in the Empire
>The founding document of the Empire explicitly states citizens have the right to wands
>Most wand owners in the Empire would rather die than surrender them
>The Captain of the guard just ordered you to go door to door confidcating wands, alone

What do?

>door to door
>alone

I get coworkers to come with me anyway, and I get a wizard to ward us against wand attacks.

Let's do this. Time to get stepped on Harry.

>The founding document of the Empire explicitly states citizens have the right to wands
Pretty sure it says organized schools have the right to wands in service of the protection of the Empire.

Then again, I can't read and smell like pile of bears.

Nah hold up. It says that all that shit about organization and service, but it has a comma in the wrong place somewhere, so that means it totally allows mentally-disturbed teenagers to take wands into classrooms : ^ )

how can wizards be rogues?

The Empires laws state that any male between 18-30 is already part of a organized school

Good job you just took away the right to wands to women

What happens if at least half of my coworkers love the right to have wands and they hex me when I'm not looking for being ok with the idea of confiscating wands?

>What happens if at least half of my coworkers love the right to have wands and they hex me when I'm not looking for being ok with the idea of confiscating wands?
Then they can fling their hexes at the guard captain. I'm staying out of it.

I talk to the other half.

>The government has the right to take away rights if they consider you """mentally ill"""

>Good job you just took away the right to wands to women
If a woman polymorphs herself into a man, does she have the right to wands, even if the casting of said polymorphing did not occur prior to enacting the decree?

wand control won't work! if you ban all the wands only the rogues will have wands! the only way to stop a bad wand user is a good wand user! The founding fathers wanted everyone to have wands! We should have trained spec ops gym teachers on every street corner with wands ready to deal with rogue wizards!

>mentally ill
Great. That means someone will take the wand away from that one kid who keeps posting parchments to the notice-board about wanting to fireball the college of magic. That's 1 to 20 lives saved right there.

>That's 1 to 20 lives saved right there.
Fuck my sides

It worked in harry potter.

How the fuck is that clever? It's as clever as barbarian sodomizing you with his mace, which I bet he does.

Didn't Halruaa face its biggest war, losing countless lives, including some of its most powerful and renowned mages because of their views on fucking with non-magical outsiders?

As I recall it led to a situation where a guy who could deny magic from affecting him and those near him through sheer force of will rose up and smashed his way with an army of barbarians into halruaa then only got stopped when they Aku'd his ass with a blackhole that killed everyone else (friend and foe alike) while tossing him into another time/plane.

Which arguably is just an outside threat, but it's an outside threat created by Halruaa fucking with its neighbors because wizard on wizard regulation seems to not exist.

what if she polymorphs into a man and then summons an extradimensional women's toilet, and then rapes normal women by saying she's a woman to the armed guard attendent that checks everyone's gender identity at the door of all public toilets?

>government has the right to take citizen's lives if they consider you "guilty"
>government has the right to take away citizen's freedom is they consider you "guilty"
>government has the right to take away your happiness and property and give it to your no good gold digging ex-wife if they consider you "divorced"
>unlike life, liberty and happiness, government can't take away your wands if it considers you not capable of weilding them responsibly

I'm not saying wand manufacturing gnomes run the government, but....

Or if you need to shill cup noodles

It's not, user is just new to Veeky Forums.

If you can't keep up with the facade of this thread and just want to be an applesponge, you should probably leave.

>All the teachers have wands
>Dumbledore by himself is a one man army
>Wizard Dueling and Defense against the Dark Arts are part of the regular curriculum at all grades
>The wizard government tried to take away Harry and friends ability to defend themselves so they started a militia and shared their knowledge on how to defend themselves
>When Voldemort invades the students are able to hold back the Death Eaters
>yfw Harry Potter is secretly pro gun

/pol/ threads on Veeky Forums are a good example of how short a time it'd take for the masquerade to be breached.

All those happen after a trial where the standard is innocent until proven guilty

With mental illness the government can decide without your knowing and without trial that you are unfit to have rights

Lol true

It's like, when I don't really care and it's the mods' off-days when they're not going to prune the thread anyway, I figure I might as well halfheartedly toss some poo myself. Just to remind myself what the alternative to a clean board is.

>no one wants that
My sweet summer child, how wrong can you be.

The best way to stop a bad wizard with a gun is a good wizard with a gun, pic related.

He's talking about places with freedom.
Have you ever considered that your personal unwillingness to take responsibility for your own safety should not hinder the rights of others to defend both themselves, their property, and their kin?

Just have the peasants cast "bullet" on the deer, you pansy.

Wrong. It states that the Empire cannot infringe upon the natural right to them. That section of the founding document explicitly refers to that which the empire CANNOT do, which anyone with even a sliver of literary competence and academic honesty can easily ascertain to mean SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.
This. That's the problem with it. It's not the decree of the empire, but rather the machinations of the town cleric who is anti-wand, as they cut into his healer profits.

>The best way to stop a bad wizard with a gun is a good wizard with a gun, pic related.

Whoa whoa whoa. We're talking about wands here. Guns are the weapon of mundie peasants. No self-respecting Imperial with a spark of magic in him would touch such an ineffective caveman tool, much less expect to do any harm with it.

Didst thou avert thine eyes away from the previously presented evidence? Who art thee to claim that wands cannot be guns? Have you any better idea for the transmission of magic across any necessary range?

>Wrong. It states that the Empire cannot infringe upon the natural right to them.
So the only ones allowed wands are those who were born with a wand already in hand?

Be right back, creating a race of beings that are born with a wand already protruding from the palm that won't detach. Absolutely nothing can go wrong with this plan!

Nay, it states that while one may not possess one either due to lack of such a device or even personal inclination, that one shall always be offered the choice to such. Shall you wish to contribute to the creation of a tyrant mad-king who despoils the most sacred laws of the land in an ill-conceived, foolish effort to put the noose around the privileges of a free, loyal, citizen?
Surely you jest if you believe that the answer to a threatened populace is the threat of chains!

>magic-resistant orcs
That's like saying alcohol-resistant bacteria or nuke-resistant humans. Magic as a stand-in for firearms is too lethal to simply evolve to resist it

So like unicorns?

Don't be absurd. Humanity are the chosen peoples, infinitely more adaptable than the elves of the woods, or the midgets of the hills and mountains! What other race has so thoroughly acclimated itself to all climes, elevations, and soils? For even the hardiest of oaks may not survive where man has trod! I posit that such resistance is not only possible, but inevitable!

>alcohol-resistant bacteria

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC140401/#__abstractidm140142274305744title

>Alcohol resistance assay using the quantitative suspension test revealed that all four strains showed prolonged survival in 75% alcohol compared to other skin flora.

>a magically untalented rogue must use slight of hand and trickery to appear as a wizard and avoid persecution for not being able to learn magic

Why not simply introduce regulations?

All wands must be between 8 and 10 inches, no bump-grips, lvl 1-3 spells only, no greater than 4 charges. Must be registered at the local wizard's tower, etc.

Assault rods must be banned entirely however. When the founding wizards wrote "magic devices" they were only talking about the simple and crude staves of their own time. Even allowing wands is stretching the definition really.

Wood Elf Prince here.
Do these kind of regulations allow me to keep my Dragon-Piercer EDU Class Explosive-Oriented Spell Log?

>"prince"
>worried about the laws of the human realm

>Wrong. It states that the Empire cannot infringe upon the natural right to them. That section of the founding document explicitly refers to that which the empire CANNOT do, which anyone with even a sliver of literary competence and academic honesty can easily ascertain to mean SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED.

We find they have, in the second clause of the second amendment declared, that the right to use magical devices shall not be infringed. If every thing which is not given is reserved, what propriety is there in these exceptions? Does this Constitution any where grant the power of suspending the habeas corpus, to make ex post facto laws, pass bills of attainder, or infringe the usage of magical devices? It certainly does not in express terms. The only answer that can be given is, that these are implied in the general powers granted. With equal truth it may be said, that all the powers which the bills of rights guard against the abuse of, are contained or implied in the general ones granted by this Constitution.

>Shall not be Infringed

The founding wizards felt the need to add this, they also specified “bear magic”, as in magic in general, not lvl 1-3 spells only because they knew magic continues to grow

>Implying you humans will stop when you reach your borders
You never do. In three hundred years you'll be trying to annex our woods, fucking animals.

Assault rods are already banned in all civilized nations though. The only reason that people fear long wands is because they are generally painted black, despite them being the cause of only 3.5% of all magical homicides. They're also harder to conceal and bring into secured areas

>“bear magic”
>Shall not be infringed
*Laughs in Druid*
Get fucked you Warlock cucks.

A prince by all rights is, by title, within the suzerainty of a higher lord, be they king or emperor.

Would you have yon princes independent? Then what prince be they but kings instead?
And if commandeth other, lesser princes, then what king be they but emperor princes, verily the deuces may have vassalage of mega deuces, the bishopry commandeth the pope, why not a peasant upon the throne of the world, with a stave of witchcraft for a rod of state?

Nay, tis whimsy.

>It's another thinly veiled /pol/ thread

Thelurius, get off the Crystal Ball. I know you're drunk on Moonwine, I can smell it from three trees away.