Confession Thread

Unapologetic confession: My favorite character I've ever played was in a game about pastel horses. He was a griffon who was mildly racist towards ponies and took pleasure in showing off his sharp beak and talons (I accidentally scared the DM when he asked me to roleplay an interrogation).
I love that catbird, and had a lot of fun playing with two other bronies in that game, playing a changeling and a pegasus. I still consider it one of my best groups. The other fuckass That Guy Mary-Sue-making pathological liar and the DM he used as a doormat can fuck right off, though.
Regretful confession: I'm terrible at getting in character for very long, and cannot do voices AT ALL.

...there are other reasons to play a kobold PC?

I don't miss moot so much as I miss Veeky Forums culture while he was here. I feel like being jaded towards everything is a growing trend, and it really sucks because conformist idiots will see you having fun in a thread and try to drag the thread down with them. At least this board tends to actually make things occasionally, like those hexmap threads, storythread, that new monstergirl general, and /wst/- I mean, dragon threads.

>...there are other reasons to play a kobold PC?
Suppressed gag reflex.

>kobold enters an eating competition
>party bets on him, gets absurd odds because little lizard
>win big

Your party got wiped out and you are resurrecting them?

Who?

My group only plays Pathfinder as a thin excuse to jerk off together. We all play barbarians with 20 str and improved grapple so we can rape every female npc we come across. The DM just puts us in exotic locales and fantastic situations so we can rape women there.

That's hot.
What are your grapple rules?

It's the Pathfinder grapple rules.

It's time to admit that you have literally never used one of these for anything, and that there's no point for them to exist.

I dislike Lizardbolds, I'd rather have kobolds a line or breed of goblins.

I don't know what the fuck to do with dwarves or gnomes.

I hate monoculture races, but at the same time I'm not sure how can I implement cultural differences of a race mechanically

I got an ex-friend fired from an lgs he worked at because he was letting his brother steal minis from other players and covering for him.

A PC in my game asked for a reward from a farmer and I joked in character, "My daughter's hand in marriage" and he just shouted "DEAL" And he asked her what her name was and I paniced and said Brunhilde. Everybody at the table thinks I've come up with a master plan to marry this bird person to an npc in town but it was completely off the cuff. Now I think they expect some kind of twist as to who she is or something and I have 0 clue. Maybe I'll make her 8 or something...

What are the rules for rape though.

Im torn between having very few dragons in the world, sticking with the iconic chromatics. Or broadening the dragon category to include all draconic beings, and each dragon is totally unique

Play it completely straight. He now is going to be married to the farmers, hard working, farmhouse wife material daughter.

Why aren't you playing Tetori Monk? You could grapple (and apparently therefore rape) many targets at the same time. At high enough level you can even rape the elusive targets who can teleport away or has freedom of movement. By 17 you can grapple ghosts (possibly re-raping some of the women you presumably have killed after the rape).

I'm so terrible at RPing that my GM messaged me asking why I'm so damn quiet compared to when we played by post, and due to perpetual burnout on the forever GM's part and scheduling issues with everyone I have no opportunities to practice.
My fellow technicolor equine faggot,
my favorite character was an elf that was mildly racist towards pretty much everyone including ponos, but in the "child heard their parents say chink/nigger/spic" way. Lead to a few interesting moments involving rope and the concept of bits and bridles.
I'm reminded of how in Ocarina of Time, Talon offers Link the chance to marry Malon and shoots him down either way. Also in the same game, fishgirl Princess Ruto actually stuffing the marriage option down Link's throat. So maybe make her an adopted daughter of (other race) if you want to go through with a twist? Personally I'd go with because it's so mundane it's almost adorable.

I’ve only now realized that good players don’t exist. The premise of any role playing game is unabashed egotism, which obviously is related to character generation and his/her own subsequent motivation. At this point too much of every player brings in their actual ego and tries to unpack it through self-insertion or wish fulfillment. Maybe it’s a cultural thing, but so far every TTRPG I’ve played or DMed sucked. I’m better off as that guy who posted here a while ago about playing a comprehensive strategy game in his mind.

Have players who arealso DMs or have dm`d. Half my group are other dms, and half are not. You can tell the difference a mile away.

I run entirely super niche fetish focused games and enjoy them infinitely more than my normal games

I find little to no fun in actually DMing and just do it in hopes that I can get one of my friends interested in trying to DM, or to get in on the RP with DMPC but I never can

all I want is to be able to play in a kink campaign for once, hell even a normal one

Why would you need different mechanics for different cultures?

I really enjoyed playing a maid in maid, and used getting blind drunk as an excuse to do things I kinda wanted to do anyway, but would havw been too creepy otherwise.

I dropped out of a dungeoncrawl DnD game (5e) because I had enough dungeoncrawling and wanted to roleplay. I told them that I had an accident and had to stay in hospital for a while, before dropping out.

I used the same excuse to drop out of a capeshit game that I didn't enjoy overmuch.

It was a lie, I was just making excuses to get away.

I'm one of the worst DM Archetypes that exists. The indecisive GM who is easily influenced by media. Worse, I'm of the "right system for the right genre" mindset, and enough autism to actually read through the rulebooks, so I flip-flop constantly between systems AND campaigns I'd rather run. Last month alone it switched through Genesys, Mythras, 5E E6, Savage Worlds, LOTFP, and finally, ACKS. I managed to scrape together a group and get 3 of the 5 players get their characters ready for an old module I picked out, and I've just barely started playing Dark Souls 3, which should keep me happy with Deadly Gothic Fantasy for a whil. I'd rather run a Souls Campaign using Mythras but if I do that I know my group will just up and quit going from what is essentially Basic D&D to the BRP system.
So yeah, it's gonna be fun two weeks from now and I'm suddenly enamored with 1950's Sci-fi and the Traveller rules and I've got a session to plan for.
So yeah, in summary, I probably should never ever GM, and I'm desperately hoping that if I actually start the campaign while I'm still on the mental high of the genre and the system, I'll be able to maintain that mindset.

I've been ghosting a roleplay forum for months even though the admins bought me a game and generally everyone's pretty cool. I'm just a horrible procrastinator and now that I have a group for actual tabletop my drive for play-by-post roleplaying is absolutely lifeless; I only keep regular contact with the site I'm staff on, and even then the memberbase is made up of the people in my TTRPG group, so it's not as if vanishing on them is an option even if I wanted to.

just do what the fnaf guy did and throw your bs into a single consistent world so your ADD wins without people noticing your autism. they will think you are a genius and be none the wiser.

bamp

As a DM I struggle to separate the game from my beefs. If you multiclass in my sessions the monsters are going to turn into levelled class analogues, double in health and generally triple in number. I've run three meatgrinder games now because I don't know how to stop the powerhouse hexblade/X from destroying everything

I despise DMing. It’s literally work on top of my regular job. It positively blows my mind WotC doesn’t have a “DM as a service” system so my friends and I can all play instead of one of us having to be the bigger man and not have fun

>Why would you need different mechanics for different cultures?

To make the differences actually matter.

Post times you accidentally magical realmed

>Got SO into tabletop before we were dating, in campaign together now
>my character has significant leverage over his because of a secret my char found out about
>Using said secret to blackmail him ic, all in good fun ooc
>Intense RP moment where my character confronts his about secret, ic argument ensues
>Dice fell under table during argument, go to grab it
>Realize SO has rager
>Continue to bully knowing he likes it

>party comes across a magical plant that benignly curses the exposed in an ironic way
>just in case it becomes relevant, GM asks for a bit of insight as to what such a curse would be like for my character as I've been playing them a bit close to my chest
>an ongoing joke is that he's an effeminate twink due to being an elf
>suggest gender bending because a joke taken to its logical conclusion is one of my favorite jokes
>it becomes relevant very quickly
>play them as initially frustrated, but then flaunting their assets for fun
>DMPC is visibly distracted
an accidental reciprocation after GM had accidentally done
>party gets mission to track down a missing biomancer
>eventually find her
>qt slimegirl
>fled after fusing herself with an ooze and her colleagues experimented on her
>immediately hits it off with my character due to their nature knowledge
>one conversation about her semipermeable properties leads to asking if it's possible to slide an arm through her head or midsection
>responds "I would think such a thing is something you would have to ask about before trying."
>character typically blunt, responds "Its a good thing I'm asking now then."

>girl
>paralyzed
>can't have sex
pick 2

More of this?

I mean she wouldn't be able to feel anything or self-lubricate.

>paralyzed
>cant have sex
alright, what do I win?

All of them dying was basically session zero

I don't ever describe the realm my players start out in. I give them general explanations about things as they come up, and I describe immediate surroundings, but I have never spent any time before sessions describing the landscape or the culture of the world.

People think I'm a smart guy playing dumb characters to unwind. No, I'm just dumb

I never tell my pcs whenever they're poisoned/diseased/going insane, I just tell them cryptic shit like your vision blurs or you feel weak and make cryptic private rolls.

I'm really bored with the game I'm in because we went from dungeon delving pirates with necro-tech to merchants who are more interested in trading rather than fighting or doing anything exciting. Maybe a that guy scenario but I dont want to ruin my first dnd game, even the DM is losing steam.

>Oh I want to play a wounded veteran type with a broken psyche and a small squishy core of emotions hidden by jaded cynicism
>Oh I rolled an elf he'll be an elf I guess
>Well he's got a lot of dex he should have a slender build
>Elves have long hair right?

And so began the adventures of PTSD-ridden femboy veteran and his secret heart of gold, which managed to significantly fluster the gm and the other player who had grown attached to him during moments of vulnerability or expressing interest in non-murdery things.

Basically at least two people in my group have a thing for cute boys and mentally broken people in need of putting back together.

He's a guy then. He probably can't maintain an erection, which is plausible.

You could have picked
>Girl
>Cant have sex

Make 'em rare. A bit scarier that way.

well did he get fixed?

When we ended the campaign he and the sorceress were a thing. She was an amoral scientist hiding behind a pleasant and cute exterior and he was a pleasant and cute person hiding behind an amoral exterior. Eventually they rubbed off on each other and bonded significantly while cuddling for warmth in a cave (She didn't get why he was blushing so much when he was supposed be a killer to the bone) and backstory talk happened. He learned to express his trauma and she learned to feel things like empathy and pity.

I've never played a tabletop rpg.

Me neither. I've been coming here since 2011 off and on anyway, because it's all so inspiring. But I don't have anyone to play with.

Do you want in to my discord?

I'm too anxious/autistic/whatever to game in front of the irate old people I live with but you're very kind.

All right i get it. But if you want to participate in *something* im also in a worldbuilding discord for a sci fi setting, if youre interested in that

>Want to gm
>Come up with a cool setup for a campaign
>Write it down, get some ideas for NPCs and the setting
>Come up with a cool setup for a campaign
>Write it down, get some ideas for NPCs and the setting
>Come up with a cool setup for a campaign
>Write it down, get some idead for NPCs and the setting
>Come up with a cool setup for a campaign
>Write it down, get soem ideas for NPCs and the setting

On the bright side, sometimes the campaigns I come up with are for the same rpg.

>there are other reasons to play a kobold PC?
I'd play a guerrilla warfare themed anthropomorphic lizard just for kicks. Would go full fucking Brightwing.

Some can utilize their egoism to create a good experience in the (TT)RPG context.

I'm actually an elf sorceress with a big rack in disguise.

I was helping test a homebrew system with other Veeky Forums dudes as GM, but I got super depressed and it fizzled out hard. Sorry, guys.
Same. He was a faggot but he was OUR faggot!

>I'd play a guerrilla warfare themed anthropomorphic lizard just for kicks. Would go full fucking Brightwing.
This, I play them like Gremlins, it's a blast.

Nigger if I could get paid to GM, I would drop my minimum wage retail job immediate. Don't tease me

I feel very blessed to be someone who prefers the GM chair

I don't play TTRPGs at all whatsoever, even though I really want to. I've always wanted to try D&D but I'm too much of a fucking autistic sperglord, social interactions of any length of time physically exhaust and stress me, I'm afraid of meeting new people and it's all killing me because everyone seems to have so much fun with these types of games and all I can do is read stories and look from afar and hate myself for being broken, but it's all that keeps me comfortable. The only place I can even open up to strangers and talk casually is a Laotian interpretative dance message board.

>>grapple ghosts
>>possibly re-raping some of the women you presumably have killed after the rape

...I love this goddamn website

This really isn't a secret in my group, but I hate characters with no ambition. I also don't like being force to deal with "mere survival" in games. When I play a game I always have a big goal in mind for them that they want and work towards. Unfortunately this usually never comes to fruition because our games never run long enough to actually achieve the goals I set, I.E. becoming a major lord or ascending to a higher state of being. The group also has a shitlord who is a sadistic cunt of a DM who loves dragging us through mud and shit and another DM who loves the underdog story and the taste of gravel in his teeth.

This carries over to when I run too. I hate "peasant" characters. I expect goddamned heroes when I run and either kill or mold characters who don't live up.

I recommend GURPS.

I've never played Gurps, not even picked up a book to peruse.

I never like the style of the GMs I've played with. They all railroad hardcore and don't tool around with the system at all, never present any fun or interesting encounters or challenges, and if it's Adventurers League then it's literally just a calculated script with no role-playing or creative solutions. I just want to be a player in one game, just one game, and have fun for once.

I can't complain though, I've ascended to the point where I slap together an adventure idea and plot within a few hours and people still tell me I'm a great GM.

in my games, i reflavor flumphs to be horrifying to mindflayers.

they can psychically cloak themselves, reproduce asexually, and leech psionic energy. mind flayers dont even risk killing them or else they might spread their miniscule eggs throughout their tunnels.

flumphs are the reason illithids stay underground, so they can maintain a better defense against infestation.