Kobold Thread

so, what are kobolds like in your setting?

Not a bad comparison in methods but more teamwork. They are very creative inventors and trap builders but most inventions break after a few uses. They were also created from the blood of dragons, so they have a bit of an ego despite their size and frailty. They also live under cities and dumpster dive for supplies.

Unlike Skaven they don't betray one another (despite being lawful evil) and they are heavily collectivist and believe when they die they are reincarnated back into their tribe.

...

"I swear to Crom, if you teabag my bald I'm throwing you like a javelin."

Not that user, but I'm not fur-inclined in the least and like them because they're stock level 1 monsters that exist purely to get kicked around... which also makes them endearing underdogs. Same with goblins.

thier cute

A kind of goblin that live and work in their caves and mines. They are changed by the goblin metal, developing stoney dermoliths in their skin and having an aversion to sunlight.

Om nom nom.

Very self-aware canon fodder. They fight hard but know that, ultimately, they are more than likely going to lose.

The average kobold lifespan is very short and the average kobold life is very meaningless. Even their god is a total laughingstock. My party's trying to work to help them out a bit, but they're not really having as much of an effect as they'd like.

In the past kobolds used to be the proud-but-useless sort, but self-delusion can only get you through so many mass slaughters.

What is the god of kobolds?

Kurtulmack. The party encountered him several times throughout the first bit of the game, although they didn't know it.

They're fairly good friends with him, even if he does have a very defeatist attitude. I try to play him like somebody who's desperately trying to be hopeful but actually suffering from severe depression like me lol

Kobold ok. Dragon better.

The god of kobolds was originally a mortal kobold who was a surprisingly good engineer, who was smote by the god of gnomes in a fit of jealousy. The moral of the story is two-fold:
1) it's the destiny of all kobolds to die pointlessly
2) fuck gnomes. Seriously, kobolds are considered vermin, and these cocksleeves are allowed a place in civilization?

Dont u b shittin on gnomeboyz ill fuckin get all frost mage and ice ur dum ass

demon worshiping Aztec-like monsters, closet to lizardmen in size and power

had one of the most expansive empire on the main continent, but gor fucked by the dwarves and Jotun, now theyre forced into the deepest and darkest jungles and the forgotten lands or islands, where they keep on keeping on

they also enslave amazons for many different purposes

they're like goblins but better in the fact that they actually make decent traps and occasionally come in pangolin format.

>Are you sure? I always thought it was about degenerates wanting to fuck an anthropomorphized version of a dragon minus the wings.
A little bit of column A and a little bit of column B.

Stop lumping scalies in with furries. Reptiles don't have fur. Furfags would only like the old school dogbolds.

Except kobolds have always had scales. Even in Basic, kobolds looked like dog-men, but had scaly hides. Check out "The Orcs of Thar".

So nobody has any business bringing up furries here? Great.

Tiny animals are comfy.

>"Wanted! Human who can lift kobold high place. Human who safe keep kobold wagon. Human who no steal shiny. 1 copper per day!"

Don't you want to be a lifting/safety human to a group of kobolds?

>Stop lumping scalies in with furries.
We're not lumping you in because you want to fuck animals. This is Veeky Forums, it's FINE.
We're lumping you in because you're on the same level of annoying and it's literally impossible to have a kobold thread without you fags wanking over them or hardcore mary sue-ing them.

>implying furfags are unique in this regard

I've seen far more furries making their pet race the smartest and the bestest and the cutest in the setting.

You're not unique, but you're most prominent

>but whatabout THESE GUYS i can conveniently deflect blame to
we're not talking about them. We're talking about furries.

So, question; I've seen this google-eyed pug-faced goblin "kobold" art a few times, but anyone who know who drew it or which books it appeared in?

So you mean to say kobold fans behave...like kobolds?

I mean to say furfag kobold fans do a monumental fucking disservice to themselves and normal kobold fans.

Also
>tits on a lizard
fucking furfags.

Am I the only one who likes when a flat, boobless, kobold still wears something like a top to look attractive to humans?

>to look attractive
Eh.
>To fit into weird standards of human society
More like it.

hi

suh dude

Yu injured, princess? No?
Why then wear bandagge?

I know Healss, yess.

>even furrier kobolds
>culpeo fox
unironically yiff in hell.

Get over yourself

Here's some stories about kobolds:
Stories:
>Adventure in Shite:
pastebin.com/hU54sfER

>An Unlikely Bride:
pastebin.com/u/Jixijenga/1/MNmXnHwX

>Fundamentals of Kobold Economics:
pastebin.com/u/Granbul

>Kobold Apprentice:
pastebin.com/zsKXk5pi
pastebin.com/mpXSS9e5

>Kreet:
sofurry.com/browse/folder/stories?by=405915&folder=65571
kreetthekobold.tumblr.com/

>Kobold on the Train
pastebin.com/3yp3EWRV

Shorter stories:
>Kobold Bride:
pastebin.com/YWURCTkG
>The Lone Kobold
pastebin.com/TrCJ3EAh
>Mixed Feelings:
pastebin.com/YFBBAbPm

Some might be NSFW and some are greentexts but 2, 3, and 4 are longer running with actual paragraphs.

adorable lizard bro wants his hugs (and warms)

Pre 3rd edition kobolds best kobolds.

...

Cute lizzer.

Finished.

>not posting it with its filename

Kurtulmack, and pic related. Both are very angry vietnameze Kobolds you'd mistake for the regular sort until they go anime on your ass due to intense powerlevels, except Kurtulmack is like Guoh Kobold height, has a spear, and helped put !not Kratosfromgodofwar Cronos in jail and both have shitty attitudes and are consumed by-hatred self-loathing and need to bomb sociopathic Gnomes in Jyhad.

Also they hate flying Kobolds, which didn't help them out when Kurtulmack got buried under his own city per an alliance- who are shown in the 3e section in a picture I've only seen once elsewhere which I've not found in splatbook but know it's by the dude behind much of the 3e era art for the first splatbooks. Mostly getting apperance in 2e I think.

Unlikely Bride needs an editor because it could be a decent fantasy novel if the author wanted it to be.

...

>lizards

I met a culpeo fox in the wild once. He hissed at me.

Eheheh... Kobold tits...

Every time I think of lizard tits I just imagine what they would taste like and get disgusted everytime.

I don't care if your race has them but I'm not going to stop thinking about that. The concept of lizard milk just weirds me out

...

cool

All wrong. It's because of dwarf fortress and the kobolds on that. Mostly harmless scamps that the players felt sorry for and became cutebolds.

fucking hell

>they are heavily collectivist
Understatement there. Adventurers mock the single kobold fighting against 4 creatures of double his size for being stupid but he knows that his death will let the rest of the warren escape with the eggs so he dies for his clan.

5e

Not a drawfag just a doodler

cute!

...

Think of little kids behavior on the playground. Kobolds are like that but nowhere near as innocent. Its kind of like Lord of the Flies.

I wanna play DnD someday as 3 kobolds stacked in armor pretending to be 1 human.

My players have been camped near a cave full of kobolds for a while. I think I'll hit them with an encounter like that next session

Fraggles literally just Fraggles

youtube.com/watch?v=l_zsz_MlVvI

Holy fuck thanks for the sudden childhood flashback.

This makes me happy

"Only negotiate when you know which cup has been poisoned" -Koboldicus 12:21

"Man shall take what is His, and Kobold shall take what is Man's." -Koboldicus 43:15

"You did not do this. He was always dead before you got here." -Koboldicus 21:01

"Like many things in life, a bear-trap is not exclusively for bears." -Koboldicus 9:62

"Do not make them your enemies, for friends turn their backs on you much easier." -Koboldicus 03:01

"Only present yourself as an adversary, when you drew the short straw as diversion" -Koboldicus 20:83

"A superior kobold is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his trapmaking." -Koboldicus 13:32

"A kobold insufficiently skilled in the arts of treachery, trap-making, and fleeing is a corpse." -Koboldicus 1:22

"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig a pit trap" -Koboldicus 3:12

“Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window?" -Koboldicus 5:45

"There shall be more traps in the Kobold underground, than stars in your heaven" -Koboldicus 6:48

"In matters of security, skulk in the darkness; in matters of defense, blind with fire!" -Koboldicus 7:7

"An arrow is not to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." -Koboldicus 7:37

"An ambush will be a success if the wordy ones fall, the dwarf will not care of your spears and bolts, nor priest your shock. The ones of least armour will be your greatest bane." -Koboldicus 29:1-3

"Preferable is a dinner of bark, dirt, and leather than eggshells or a younger sibling." -Koboldicus 12:40

"Prepare the trap with the hope it will not need to spring, and the expectation it will not misfire" -Koboldicus 7:28

"Trusting a gnome is more foolish than living in a cave with a roof of packed sand." -Koboldicus 3:24

"To those seeking great fame and wealth, let them. They will have more to take later on." -Koboldicus 12:6

"A kobold's two strengths are his cunning and his tribe. Without one is danger, without two is death." -Koboldicus 7:25

"When rocks fall, everyone dies." -Koboldicus 9:38

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. Preferably like with a hole, or fire” -Koboldicus 11:0

“Some kobolds kills with arrows, some with traps.” -Koboldicus 15:1

“If you spring the trap before it's ripe, The tears of repentance you'll certainly wipe; But if once you let the ripe moment go, You can never wipe off the tears of woe” -Koboldicus 5:11

"Never trust Grokk with your meal. He will definitly eat it, for he is a lousy, useless fartbrain! Yes. that comes into the book, now keep writing." - Koboldicus 36:31

This some bullshit kobold version of the rules of acquisition?

cool beans

These are great. It's like the Maxims for Maximally Effective Mercenaries, but kobold-flavored.

We're all furfags

>Furries

media.wizards.com/2014/downloads/dnd/TuckersKobolds.pdf
***snipes u n fucks ur mom***

But seriously, I see kobolds like a somewhat alien (2/5 human 3/5 reptile) mind + relatively small size (can vary I guess?), so good for a variety of general fantasy adventuring trope stuff.

nice

Have a Kobold shopkeep.