Guys how do we save elves

Heh.

In a setting for one of my games elves basically had only one type but traditionally they were undergoing magical metamorphosis that was making them much stronger and made them immortal. Problem was that same magical process lowered their fertility almost to zero. Not that big of a problem when you are the apex predator and can live for as long as you want. Or at least it was not a problem until the human empire decided to spread a little.

Elves got fucked up and almost died out. But survived and through some shady deals and assassinations weakened the empire - that allowed them to spread again. Only now most of their population consists of normal elves that die at around age of 250-300 and can breed at more or less comparable to human rates.

Normal elves are more or less your run of the mill fantasy type. Transformed elves are 2+ meter tall motherfuckers that look more alien than old eldar depictions and could rip people open with bare hands.

You're supposed to masturbate BEFORE posting

Foolish mortal, but I did!

More badass male elves. Everything shit about elves stems from an overly focus on the females.

...

Yes I noticed that too, it's stale shitposting at this point. Elves are old hat, get some new material

Then please sage and report.

this, in my campaigns elves are beefy warriors with a severe case of warlust, they don't live more than 300 years though

Wrap the leftovers in saran wrap and foil, then freeze. Good for around 6 months.

The new baitpost is guns in fantasy settings. There are several threads every single day.

>not "elf save, wat do"

You had one job

'Gun slave, wat do' is the new fad

Why not call them orcs or half elves than? I admit Tolkien Elves were far more violent in their first age, but the age factor you presented seems to be the lynchpin of the elven identity.

Why isn't this guy getting banned already? Yes, I'm pretty sure it's the same guy going around the catalog making several bait posts a day. I know how little bans can mean these days but it would be better than nothing and letting the thread stay up.

But at least talking about guns cna lead to interesting on-topic threads. No idea what OP is trying to achieve with this one.

because orcs are already present and are much more violent and bloodthirthy than elves, at least they have a civilization with a proper structure and laws.
as for the age, my setting progresses like human civilization so having elves that can live 1000 years would make legends and misteries of history pointless, you could just go to a really old elf and ask him.

My setting best warriors are what I commonly call "saint seiya" elves.
They mostly protect sacred lands and fight mythical beasts born from the wild magic that exist there.

Sounds similar to my setting. They live in the cold north in a land of always winter and they're hardy and grim warrior folk.

mine launch crusades against orcs and fight huge beasts for sport

warrior elves are the best elves

how come female elves are so useless?

Can you stop spamming this?

I've only posted it two or three times

Why does it offend you so?

Because it gives faggots like me bigger hardons I just want to protect her and make her happy

She'd be much happier with a handsome male elf than with a greasy neckbeard

That's because female elves are MC waifu material.
So at best they get a "badass" introduction, but they inevitably end up needing getting saved by the MC so they can fall from him in a badly written romance subplot.

Human MC self insert, dwarf bro, elf waifu.
Such are the ways of cheap fantasy.

ACTUALLY it stems from a backlash against people like the Fingolfinposter who show off how ultra-super-badass their male elf husbandos are.

They were very prominent in the 90s/early 2000s

it got annoying quickly

as a result, we got
-dwarf wanking
-elf bashing
-doujin elves

then how come cheap fantasy has male elf as amazing romantic heroes with perfect hair?

When I grew up I used to hate my dad, so I would "stealth kill" him whenever I could.
I used to sharpen pieces of wood in the shape of knives or kunais (I used to read a lot of Naruto), and I will casually stumble uppon him and when he turned his bakc, I would mimic the act of attacking him from behind, like a true stealth assassin.

I became really efficient in the act of sneaking on my dad and pretending to cut his throat. I also started to have a massive collection of wooden knives.

One day I wanted to try one of the masterpieces i just forged (long blade with lot of spikes, in the shape of a minit katana, or tanto if you will). I spotted my dad and I shifted into assassin mode. Thanks to my assassins senses I managed to pinpoint the exact moment I could attack.
But I made too much noise, a rookie error, and my dad saw me as I was rushing at him with a sharpened peice of wood.
He punched me square in the face and beat the shit out of me.

He threatened to kick me out, but I was 17 at the time so he couldn't do shit about it.

He forced me to throw out all of my wooden kunais and knives.

Fuck you dad.

Don't be dumb, elf bashing and doujin elves are just the natural result of having a fantasy race that are better than humans in every way. Nerdom is full of insecure autists who can't handle the idea that something might just be better than them, and humans are designed to want to acquire mates that are superior in some way.

Dwarf wanking is just grogs relating with characters that look like them and in some ways act like them (unforgiving, spiteful, stubborn, prone to hoarding, etc).

By stop making useless shitty bait threads, like yours.

>They were very prominent in the 90s/early 2000s
Oh yes, all that Drizzt and... Fingolfin was written before the 90s, right?

Give the female elves bigger tits and fatter asses. Also make them more fertile and go into heat on a regular basis.

Legolas around the time the LotR movies came out
players and their PCs in general

>Nerdom is full of insecure autists who can't handle the idea that something might just be better than them
Nerdom is full of insecure autists who want to believe they are better than everyone else by RPing and associating with 'better than thou' races, in this case oh so mighty elves. Elf wankers are pathetic, just as pathetic as dragon wankers, otherkin and all the local flavors of this madness.

>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>STOP PLAYING THIS RACE IS THAT IS SOMEHOW BETTER THAN HUMANS YOU LITERALL FURRY NIGGER!!1
how does it feel to be this retarded?

>these people are trying to be better than me by playing a fantasy race in a game!
>reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Thanks for proving my point.

Revisit their origins as "hidden beings" who live alongside humanity. Give elves a racial ability to turn invisible at will (or be invisible by default), and a cultural penchant for only revealing themselves to trusted friends or chosen victims. Human communities which respect their elves will set aside meals and small gifts for them, the elves then reciprocate by performing useful tasks, often of a mystic nature. Human communities which neglect their elves will see them resort to theft or violence to take what they need and want.

Elves seem to have a social hierarchy, but the same elf may claim noble or common status depending on his or her audience. Elves love to deceive, and will even playfully mislead their friends as to their origins and intentions. Elves (in pro-elf communities) are known to dote on human children, often giving them treats and being more likely to reveal themselves to a child at play than to a hard working adult. Some may pick a particular child and play a "fairy godparent" role for them; acting as protector, patron, and/or mentor.

Mystics and madmen who can see the invisible must either be friends of the elves, or their enemies, as the elves cannot tolerate being seen by those they do not favor. Certain noble families are known to have ancient alliances with the elves, and are served by elven spies and assassins. Wise kings always work to protect elves in their kingdoms, and welcome the advice of the fey in their courts.

I touched a sore spot, elfwanker?

Oh noes, people played elves! How dare they enjoy the DEX bonus and being proficient with swords and bows! These goddamn Mary Sues and their immunity to sleeping spells!

You could not possibly have helped that guy's point more than you did by posting this.

/thread

We fuck them. Lovingly.

not to mention the free wizard cantrip for High Elves, as well as proficiency with swords and bows, meaning you will always have a bit of fight and magic to fall back on

By scrapping the shitty Catholic and basic bitch tolkien idea of elves and go back to old Norse and Icelandic lore of elves as a basis to rework elves from the ground up.

Stuff like treating them more like feyfolk whose interactions with non elves is done so In the guise of humans.

Give them practices that regular humans would find bizarre or generally alien, instead of snobby and uptight Mary sues they are enamored with non elven cultures, but can be quick to anger and even give them a few abilities to either aid or harm others.

If we are being honest the whole "brief memories of the thing your eating" concept with some iterations of elves is cool

I personally run elves closer to Kingdoms of Amalur's Summer Court Fey splicing in bits of real mythology, and adding the aesthetic of they over time subtly take on features of their environment. So older elves in the woods would have vines or leaves begin to grow alongside normal hair, their skin take a slightly green tint, while spending time in cities might begin to resemble humans becoming more gruff, shorter, chiseled, or cave dwelling elves might sprout small mineral protrusions, I have a version that attuned to the sun and their alterations are luminescent eyes, taller and elongated features, hair would seem more akin to flames than normal hair and they would spawn little flame wisps if they stayed near fire long enough. I did a rework from ground up because it makes for a more memorable race instead of pointy eared tall humans

This. Guns in fantasy settings and adventurer guilds

Sure thing, bub

to appeal to women = to sell even more money

>All Elves are tryhard weirdos with eastern european accents
I can dig it.

Deport them all through one way portals to the Feywild
But the portals actually lead to Shadowfell

...

>Imprisoning them and then awkwardly trying to get them to breed.
>What if the ero-elf actually came to be in a particular environment and by virtue of actually breeding became the default kind of elf?
>Give the female elves bigger tits and fatter asses. Also make them more fertile and go into heat on a regular basis.
>We fuck them. Lovingly.
YES!
This pleases Slaanesh!

That's called sexual selection, and it happens in literally every species that reproduces sexually.

>useless

Didn't Knaak die?

DOBSON! WE'VE GOT DOBSON HERE!