/5eg/ - Fifth Edition General:

It's not just underpowered, it's flat out garbage. Just for example, all of your offensive options target Dexterity save.

>There are people ITT that have never played a gnome
Explain yourselves right now!

I actually wondered about the alchemist. Does it get free alchemist fire and acid whenever it wants?

Well, that one's obvious.

Good point. Cross out Eldritch and write in Fiendish on your character sheet.

Alchemist - alchemical formula (healing draught)
Tool expertise - choose healer's kit as one tool
Wondrous invention - bag of holding, alchemy jug, robe of useful items, decanter of endless water, eyes of minute seeing, hat of disguise
Spellcasting - various
Infuse magic - various

Eldritch isn't synonymous with Cthulhu. It basically just means "creepy".

Arcanum expereince really puts the just in "justifiable gnomicide".

If I'm gonna play a small folk, I'd rather just play a halfling

Because my DM won't let me have a gun.

Yeah, but there's also an Eldritch patron for warlocks, which makes it a bit weird.

>Because my DM won't let me have a gun.
Elaborate

He stole it out if Cthulhu’s back pocket while he wasn’t looking. How fiendishly evil!

I don't get why people act like small races are just interchangeable, like that's the entirety of their reason to exist. No one says there's no reason for say, elves to exist when humans are medium sized.

UAs are 2nd monday or something, right?

Since my patron is a Devil you could say it was Delighfully Devilish.

I like gnomes with guns. If I'm going to be a gnome, I want a gun. DM won't let me have a gun, so I'm not a gnome.

There is?

I just see Great Old One, Archfey, Fiend, Celestial, Hexblade, the Seeker, Raven Queen, Undying, and Undying Flame.

How do I deal with a player who won't cooperate with the rest of the party?

The patron is called Great Old One, not "Eldritch".

How big is your character’s boobs

Oh, my mistake then. I thought the Great Old One was called the Eldritch patron.

This triggered my PTSD
>playing DnD with a new group on roll 20
>one player drops 4chins lingo, ask him if he visits here, he says yes
>he makes a warlock
>GOO patron
>"I am chaotic neutral and my GOO is a giant frog"
>DM doesnt catch wind of it
>I am tempted to kill myself
>Never play with that group again

>Undying Flame
Is that new?

>We will never get prices for saffron or pepper

I think user meant Undying Light, which was a UA that ended up as the Celestial, in part because of the weird name overlap with Undying.

Yes

...

A D-cup, which is expected from a dwarf.

xD Ur so random user

Are there more of these? There’s a boondocks one I failed to save

Respectable Cs. Not a chestlet, but not a combat-impaired titcow.

What said. Got confused with Darkest Dungeon for a moment.

There are several. I actually requested a bunch be posted a week or so ago.

Isn't that the opposite of random though?

Bs which stands for "Big for a Halfling"

...

...

She’s a Sorceress, so I don’t feel bad about going for E cups.

media.wizards.com/2018/dnd/downloads/UA_Pure_Concetrated_Disappointment.pdf

Calling it now

B-cups that she binds, as any sensible knight does to ensure maximum combat potential

You missed a step

need assistance, lads. My Lore Bard just got his first Magical Secrets and I need help picking spells. The only other player is a Barbarian, what's a good spell list?

Looks like a shitty minecraft texture

>B cups
>Needing to be bound

A-cup.

Started with C, ended with D.

media.wizards.com/2018/dnd/downloads/UA_Raven_Queen.pdf

C's, eventually they'll get larger because magic is stored in the breasts.

Do you have drow in your setting? What are they like? Are drow PCs allowed?

Well if you're the only caster, then literally anything. We need information about your quest and playstyle if you want anything beyond that.

Drow are nomads roaming the underground. Their society is generally matriarchal favoring female leaders and elders but it's not fucking retarded and all backstabs all the time like the canon Drow society. They are good friends with dwarves usually who also roam the underground after their empire fell to shambles.

Nah. I want to run another game with drow at some point though.

Best Familiar for Magical Girl Chainlock?
>Tressym
>Psuedodragon
>other

in b4 >just play a hexblade

Pseudodragon, easily. It’s a cute sassy version of a bigger, scarier thing. It’s Chibi and thus moe and makes great kawaii.

Just play a Hexblade.

Have you ever played a female character that is not just a projection of a person you'd like to fuck but a genuine badass?

...

>Why not both?

I mean, if you're going to play a magical girl why NOT play hexblade so you can get a staff or something that you reflavor as your magical girl weapon?

Those aren't excluding groups of people at all.

What magic realm characters have you managed to sneak past your GM?

Most Drow live underground, and those that do are massive assholes. There's a noteworthy refugee population above ground though, particularly in a large neighborhood called Darkhaven. Darkhaven is really densely constructed with narrow streets that are more like alleyways and are covered in thick dyed fabric that filters the sun and adds color to the dreary stone buildings. There are very few windows, but those that exist are all stained glass. It's actually become something of a tourist attraction.

I prefer suppor and utility. There's no specific quest beyond "Travel around the continent and fuck up the fiends, demons, and undead swarming the place"

So I will take it you have never played a female character who you wouldn't fuck?

Almiraj

>Playing a woman
>In an era where women are basically only intended to keep the house, make babies, and look pretty unless they're literally royalty

Character critiques and advice for an evil campaign? Name??

-half elf
-wizard
-power hungry
-lawful evil
-wants to be politically powerful
-wants perfection/ultimate mastery
-wants to transcend mortality

In the gutters of coldwater, a human town on the edge of the orcish badlands, she grows up surrounded by crime, and pollution, and villainy. At six years old, a fire sweeps the town, killing her infant disabled brother, and driving her mother to insanity. Now left to the streets, she survives to support her absent minded mother by any means necessary. As she grows older she grows also colder, more efficient, more isolated... More powerful. Through stolen notes and archaic findings, she begins teaching herself arcane magic. But with every step towards greater heights of power, she hears mocking whispers reach higher and higher towards fever pitch: Jeers at this half caste girl, her insane mother, and her infirm brother bear down at her from all corners of the city. The walls murmur that her mother is mad, that her absent father is mad, that her brother died wailing and in his piss and shit soiled crib, and that soon, she will go mad as well.

All this time, her heart fills with hatred for this city and it's whispers. Disgust at it's filth. Disgust at it's chaos. Contempt for it's squalor and utter humanity. But there is one last hope, one last paradise where she might be happy. At twenty, after the death of her mother, she leaves coldwater for her elven homeland. She comes with big ideas -- pleas for the sylvan court -- about changing the world for the better, about uniting man and elf and orc, about a world of justice and order and beauty -- where no one will have to live as she has. But she is laughed at, and humiliated by the elves. Now ostracized from sylvan society, and with no home left, she returns to her birth continent with a heart of resolute malice; eyes set on the glittering city of Haven, intent on enacting her plans for order by any means necessary.

Though there comes a point you have to womder why you’re not just playing a magical girl homebrew.

I'd like to fuck genuine badasses, so both.

I thought Hexblade WAS the magical girl homebrew.

She'd have to be deliberately made to be unfuckable for that to be the case.
And I don't care enough to make a character like that.

So you're mainly fighting undead and demons.

Just look at the Paladin and Cleric spell lists. There are so damn many spells that might help you that you'll just have to read them.

>playing a character you wouldn't fuck
there's a reason all I play is burly, handsome, rugged dwarves

>Post apocalyptic campaign
Not anymore. There was one last drow city but the players happened to pass through it.
>Generic fantasy campaign
Yes. They're less dickish than canon and don't necessarily worship dark gods and definitely don't wage war on everything. All the changes made in order to actually allow drow PCs. To fill the missing "dickish elves hated by all" spot, I introduced corrupted elves, which are basically elves turned into huge assholes by demonic influence.

none yet, though I'm always interested in trying this one particular one out

>be player in a campaign
>5 player party
>enemy is lawful evil
>he wants to bring forth a society with no social net or aid for the ones in trouble, pretending this is meritocracy despite the fact that this just means maintaining the status-quo
>we figure we will rally the downtrodden and take down the fascist regime
>one of the players in the party sperges out this is communist bullshit and refuses to play any more
Why are some people such special snowflakes?

Horizon Walker with a greatsword would be pretty MAD, right? Since I'd needs to invest heavily in STR, DEX, CON, WIS.

>I introduced corrupted elves, which are basically elves turned into huge assholes by demonic influence
But then why remove the drow from this position when this is literally what they are? If a player wants to play one just make him a rare exception and ask for a good reason they have to play drow and not another race, in what way this serves the character.

why the fuck can you homebrew everything on DNDB except for classes/subclasses? I want to use it for my circle of spores druid ;_;

No, and I haven't played a male character whom I wouldn't befriend and occasionally give a brojob.

Is there a problem with that?

I made a female character who I wasn't initially attracted to. As I was describing her appearance to my party I was thinking "Wow, this is a nice combination of features. I hope I can find a pornstar that looks like her."

>just wanted to ask how other DMs handle catching thrown objects
>somehow my post ignites a shitstorm about autistic house rules
Sorry everyone. Thanks to the anons who did help out.

Well yes, but that's because I'm attracted to genuine badasses. My last female character was a 6'3 female vengeance paladin who ran around in full plate cutting people in half with a greatsword and burning heretics on a pyre.

He never said they were mutually exclusive. Reading comprehension.

3 stats is MAD, 4 is retarded

>Finally coming up to the climatic point in the first 20 sessions of our campaign
>3 Sessions in a row canceled due to unavoidable RL shit

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Long story short major point of the campaign is that demons want to annihilate the universe and are making very good progress. While Drow may be dicks, they don't like the idea of going extinct, which makes them more or less allies of other races that also don't want to die.

The corrupted elves on the other hand are just straight up servants of the demons and work towards the ultimate destruction.

>Sign up for a game
>First session missed
>Second Session DM didn't show
>Turns up later saying he has real life stuff and can't run a game
I understand, but it still sucks.
Hope things go OK for him though

it's doable. you just need a 14 in DEX and you won't use your spells for much besides utility and hunters mark so its not like your save DC needs to be really high. it's also much more doable if you go tortle because then you don't have to invest in DEX at all.

So is it just me or is the mystic class a bit bananas?