When your players visibly yawn during a session

To be fair...

I can't speak for others, but Adam really is a good DM.

And he often doesn't want to give up the DM chair. In fact, when I volunteered, he tried to talk me out of it, because "it's way harder than it looks".

Maybe they're just tired. You should be less autistic.

>her
time for a new group

>yawning
try having a player fall asleep
not even during boring failed novelist exposition
during a combat encounter
>feelsbadman

I was this guy once.

In my defense, I had just come off night shift that morning and the bard took half an hour to declare his turn.

>one player on her cellphone
Drop her. Immediately. If you are on your phone during a D&D session, and are not engaged in an actual emergency (no, your wife needing you to come home and change a diaper is not an emergency) then you need to actually kill yourself and get the fuck out of the game session. I am so sick of these fucking cocksuckers who think they should be allowed to be on their phones during a session. What the hell is your problem, faggot? If you aren't enjoying the campaign, then leave. And you clearly aren't, because you are on your phone. I cannot compete with a device that gives you more distraction than you could peruse in a thousand lifetimes, at your fingertips. I just can't. No Dungeon Master possibly could. No, the simple fact of the matter is, you are an ADHD-addled millennial piece of shit. You cannot go five minutes without referencing a movie, video game, anime, manga, or some meme. You apparently cannot go five minutes without showing other players a meme you found on your phone. Seriously, why are you playing D&D? Because you saw it on Critical Roll or Stranger Things and thought to yourself "those guys are having fun, maybe if i do that I'll have fun too." Except you didn't, because your imagination has been drained away by constant consumption of the most banal, nihilistic, low-effort media, to the point where anything that has any weight to it can only be enjoyed "ironically" lest you actually show that you have a soul. And that just wouldn't do. So you stay in the D&D game even though you aren't having fun with it, because other people seem to have fun with it and you think they are doing something right but you can't figure out what it is, and in your warped mind you figure that if the people around you are having fun, that means you are having fun too, even though you are so utterly dead inside that you cannot experience enjoyment, a vapid soulless husk that spends the whole session on his fucking iPhone 8.

I don't know if this is pasta but I agree with everything you said anyway

Have a (you)

Skype game late-ish at night
Enjoying the game, but it's kind of slow
I suddenly woke up like 2 hours later, the call was over, and I honestly don't think I missed anything.

>Forever DM
>sessions usually last, at the very least, 8 hours+

"You guys ready to call it? It's getting close to 2 already."

Yawning is an involuntary reaction, likely tired to physical exhaustion, but as far as I know, researchers have yet to determine what exactly the purpose of a yawn is.

So if anyone ever gets mad at you for yawning, tell them to fuck off, it's involuntary and not related to whatever bullshit they think is boring you.

This! Sometimes people are just sleepy.

>tfw we have day long sessions lasting 8-12 hours with breaks for lunch and if it is a long session dinner
It's fun but fuck is it exhausting.

I get up at 5:00 every day to go into the shop. Aren't enough disco naps in the world to cover up the sleep debt I build up in the week, especially since I can't actually seem to take one when it matters. I wouldn't sweat it.

I try and wrap them up in 3 hours or so

Guilty, but I cant help it. Friend wanted to play tabletops near a decade ago but didnt want to DM, so I figured I could if he could get some more players because I'm always bored and semi lonely so why not. First session was fucking horrible due to my DM """skills""" but never again. Ever since I put effort into making my maps, NPCs, encounters, and everything else that goes into the night and take damn near half-time work hours outside my actual job to get shit ready for the day of the session whenever I've long lost the joy of it all but feel it necessary since they all enjoy it and tell me they look forward to/talk about the campaign during the week.

Then whenever I get the one chance to play every three years or so when one of the other players wants to try a new system or give me a break it always, fucking always, just looks like shit that was packed together the night before. Contradictory objectives, unable to recall events that we did/NPCs names or motivations mere minutes after they were mentioned, needing to constantly reference the book on shit we've done multiple times, putting memes into the descriptions/conversation, and all the other shit that ruins a session for me. So I give involuntary yawns, attempt to not point it out, fail miserably, they awkwardly laugh at the end of the session, and then I have to go back to DMing the new system until they get bored with it or go back to the previous one.

I fucking hate it and I apologize to whoever made the attempt afterwards privately, but fuck me is it impossible for any of them to make a serious or immersive ROLE PLAYING experience rather than a MMO combat roll playing game running at the speed of a very confused and/or uninterested human brain.

>Player on Cell phone
>Simply stop and wait
>Stare at them while resting my head on my arm
>Wait for them to notice the talking has stopped and table is looking at them
>"Ya done?"
>They put the phone anyway
>It inevitably comes back out
>Keep stopping until they stop for good
>Eventually the table itself will force them to stop fiddling with their stuff since they actually want to play the game

Damn, got that high school teacher strat going there. Good on ya user.

That is fucking intense to extract from a 7 word phrase.

this is some good good deepmind shit right there. Shame them all for being the pricks they are!

Peer pressure and shame tactics are a great way to break people of bad habits or actions.

That sort of thing usually gets better with practice, or by loosening up at least a tinge because 20 hours a week is not something you should demand out of anybody for a hobby.

I know, but after my first attempt at DMing and getting swamped with all the shit that I did wrong I made sure to never do it again and do everything that I could to make absolute certainty that everyone would enjoy it. After every session I usually take about half an hour to ask what they liked, disliked, want to see more of next time, etc. and its been far past the point for more than a few years now that its just a default "you do you" and get barraged by texts if I'm not there an hour or so before session time because they want to play it so much. Then when I get the chance to "play" I get so giddy that I might get to use one of the hundreds of character scenarios that I've wanted to play for so long, just to be met with shit like "yeah sorry work and stuff, maybe next week", "it's not like this is going to go on for long so why put so much into it?", or "I didnt really know how they should have reacted lol".

Shit drives me up the wall because I also work yet I always meet the session date, read up lore on similar cultures or races of other settings to get a basic understanding of their actions and priorities, and so on. I just want to play with another DM that gives a damn in a campaign that allows me to play more than a single session user, is that so much to ask?

Except I'd be willing to bet that almost all of it is true.

>is it impossible for any of them to make a serious or immersive ROLE PLAYING experience rather than a MMO combat roll playing game running at the speed of a very confused and/or uninterested human brain
It will be as long as you keep kicking them out of the GM's chair after one session. It takes practice to learn a new skill.

Jokes on you faggot, I have an iPhone X.

>when a player falls asleep during your session
>when a player brings over a friend to play and you have to take the time to roll him up a character and then he leaves after one round of combat
>when you try to incorporate players' backstories into the game but when you get around to actually introducing in what you felt was an organic way the player isn't there that sessoin

Why am I such a shitty DM.?

>"Here are a bunch of rules for the setting!"
>Proceeds to break them pretty much constantly
Nothing pisses me off more. If you say no-magic setting, I assume this means NO MAGIC, not "Only my NPCs have magic."
If it's a 'low magic' setting but the PCs use powerful magic on a regular basis and supposedly mysterious creatures pop up in their path all the time, why should I bother even pretending to be surprised? Obviously magic isn't anything novel or alarming.

I've tried this tactic. It usually becomes everyone else takes out their phones or laptops for the next twenty minutes until one person is like, "So...we're playing DnD right?"

I dont kick them out though. After its over, unless its in the post-session discussion of what went down, the week goes by and eventually I get told by the others how I've spoiled them with my DMing with the other guy that tried saying they're cutting it off so I have to go back to DMing again. I dont just yell insults and obscenities at them, but being told they forgot about a rule, modifier, etc. for the tenth time as well as the others half joking comments about their DMing when compared to mine it just makes the discouraged and not wanting to do it again.

I know how it feels to be the sole reason people are not enjoying the session because you didnt try hard enough so I dont go out of my way to be an asshole about it and try to give advice, lessen the insults from the others by lying on how I'm enjoying it, and saying what I think they could do better next time but it doesnt matter. They just end up dropping it before the second session. The others in the group just dont have the imagination, urge, or whatever else it takes to DM.

I can't speak for people who are actually bored, but other reasons people yawn are 'cause they're tired, 'cause their brain's overheating and intaking cooler air helps correct temperatures outside the norm, 'cause someone else has yawned and echoing another person's yawn is one of the weird empathy things our bodies do, 'cause they get migraines, and 'cause it's one of those weird autonomic things our bodies do to stretch lung tissues and get blood flowing.

Re: phones and rudeness, I also can't speak for people who're like, engaging with other people outside the game or looking at non game related content, but I keep some of my reference materials and books on my phone and it's less disruptive to the table to quickly check something with my phone than reach across three people for a hardcopy book. I usually make this known though so the people at my table don't think I'm being an inattentive ass.

People being little shits sucks. Some of it might just be weird body stuff or miscommunication though.

Using a cellphone while playing tabletop is like using a cellphone while watching a movie with someone.
It's a complete dick move.

We have a guy like that. Because of diabeetus and a fucked up sleeping schedule.
In fact, ALL of us have shitty sleeping schedules. Including the DM.

I always take out my cell phone even if I know it's an ass move, dunno why
Maybe i'm just used to pulling it out and not being incommunicated or something, but i cant help it

drop the group then

This, I always make sure to apologize and explain myself if it hapepns though, so the DM won't feel like its his fault.

I tried this. I can't stand the silence myself, and whenever I'm not talking two or three of the other players will just vamp and fill the void anyway. Then other players will just take out their phones too.

The fuck are you talking about? A phone at a table is far worse than a phone during a movie. A movie doesn't REQUIRE you to interact in a complex manner with other people. Pulling out a phone at the table like pulling out a phone while in a basketball game.

>Your player is yawning because they've come to your game after a long shift
>They like playing with you so much they'd rather do it than sleep
Here you are being mad at them

>using tabletop simulator for PnP games
>two players, when it isn't their turn, go around rolling loads of peoples' dice repeatedly (causing lag), rapidly changing the sizes of objects to the point of being in the way, and drawing shit on the board

Bugs the hell out of me. I've legit got ADD and am always on some combination of caffeine/nicotine/alcohol every session but somehow I have more patience than half the people I play with.

>you are so utterly dead inside that you cannot experience enjoyment

>less experienced player actively looking up relevant game related info to educate himself prior to turn
>turbo autism GM starts REEEing about milennials and soulless husks awkwardly kicking him out of an enjoyable time based on principle
this is good pasta or you're a petty faggot, I can't decide

you can't honestly believe that's what anyone is doing

Eat shit, that's what my players are doing. Maybe you need to step up your GMing game bruh

if they need to look up shit because they don't understand, you're not doing so good at GM

Because you fail to entertain them

>a GM is just a living encyclopedia, even for a system they've only just started running
>all the splatbooks
>all the optional/situational rules
>all the weapon stats
>you are expected to know it all by heart, or else you're a shit GM
Nice try tardo. It's a lot faster when your players can look up what they just grabbed from their fallen enemy for themselves

that's why you have the books on hand

>what they just grabbed
As the GM, loot is actually your job.

Nigga the game starts at 12 noon time, I get off my shitty manual labor job at 6 am (6:30 or later if it’s real bad). I got chores to do in the morning so by game time I’m running on 3 hours top.

I love your game bro, but by the 4th hour Of game time I’m gonna be tired.

What if there's no printed book and the game is still under active development? That's the case for my current Genesys Dark Heresy game.

also
>carrying every single fucking book to a session
Sure if you have a pushcart

Who the fuck you are playing with? Fucking lemmings?

>books are heavy
t. soyboy dyel
memes aside you can make printouts of the most commonly referenced sections

Literally why DnD beyond exists. GM can search up all the systems of play from published books he owns and never have to bring spare books unless a player needs a phb.

>playing D&D

engl393-dnd5th.wikia.com/wiki

Dude usually it's 22:00 and later with some good in a room in which you would catch a carbon dioxide poisoning if you would wait there a few hours more.
Don't sweat it.

>playing text RP on discord
>player is obviously playing an MMO
>"Don't worry I can multitask"
>takes 10 minutes to write out a single sentence that amounts to "sits there quietly, looking around."

I'm in the same boat as this guy, , it is what they're doing. In fact, this led to my newest player cleverly using his mundane starting equipment to overcome an obstacle, whereas my experienced players are so loot hungry I don't think they could tell me 3 things in their starting equipment. If that's the worst that comes out of having phones at the table, then bring it on. Find you a group of adults who understands basic etiquette and it generally works out

understanding =/= knowing
if you're brand new to the game there is the pressure of being the guy who the GM is constantly explaining things to, and you know you faggots would bitch about that too. being a good GM does not mean your brand new players have instantaneous understanding of the rule set. there are other people at the table to manage, too. if a new player is taking initiative to use his phone to become a better player, it is absolute faggotry to shut it down

fpbp, our GM used to put sessions after dinner of a long day of work

We're all adults with real jobs, yawning is going to happen and doesn't reflect boredom.
Now, the guy who is always playing on his phone requires a new punishment, public shaming isn't working.
Fuck you, Tom! There's more to the game than combat, and even then you only look up on your turn so it takes forever for you to decide what to do. You're the reason we can't have nice things!

He’s right ya know

Holy fuck, just let the DM make a reasonable ruling and move the fuck on with actually playing the game.

I literally am always sleepy when it's after dinner so don't feel bad. I can be like 90% asleep and will still want to be fully immersed in the story. Just make coffee.

>When players hem and cluck for 10 Minutes over their too many options and end up just attacking anyway
>tfw you know exactly what's gonna happen on your turn
I just have to ask the dm if I can do something "clever" and if Not ,well I have backup plans. Combat is not so complex that you need to be a master strategist

But I am the GM, you jizzgargler

I'm looking through the players handbook PDF and can multitask you dip.

>make a ruling that is different from the actual ruling that would have taken three more seconds to find

>game completely fucked up forever

>new to dm
>players are also new
>one player is playing clash of clans on his ipad
>the other is drawing doodles on his character sheet
>how it feels to go hollow

who hurt you user?

>When you loudly fart during a session and everyone knows you did it but is too polite to say anything.

>less experienced player actively looking up relevant game related info to educate himself prior to turn
Yeah, and your girlfriend is spending the night with Tyrone to "study."

You're laughing at stupid memes on Facebook and asking what just happened every 10 minutes you useless fuck.

Look at the actual player's handbook then. Oh wait you're too poor to own one.

your magical realm is not my problem. sorry your girlfriend cheated on you with her cellphone, and Tyrone

>When you dont know how to present that you wsnt to DM, how to structure it or even talk trough the ideas to people.
>When you know only two people who'd be interested to play with you.

This is our curse, friend. Nothing to do now but carry the weight, one day at a time.

I do this, but mostly because I don't get enough sleep and am powered by coffee

>projecting

This, my group always plays from 9-12

We play till midnight with 6 hour sessions (get there at 3, start 4-5, end 10-midnight), one of our players is literally an insomniac, and some people are driving for like an hour to get here. Getting tired is kind of unavoidable.

I hate to hear shit like this because I'd give anything to forever DM.

I have a player whose characters will always stay the fuck away from anything actually relevant. Fucking why? It's always some waifu character he's afraid of getting killed. Just REEEEing in case anyone else knows that feel

I tried to take over GMing from my burned-out foreverGM. It turned out that years of neglecting his player etiquette left him utterly intolerable as a player, despite being a fantastic GM. As a brand-new GM and one of his best friends, I found myself powerless to resist his tantrums crashing the game straight into the ground. They didn't even make it into the first dungeon of the module.

I just want a group. I've never actually played a TRPG, no one I know is interested.

like you did with your original comment you completely unoriginal faggot
it makes perfect sense you would be intimidated by something as trivial as someone looking at their phone for ten seconds

When I get the chance for a "break" the main problems, outside shit quality maps, player to NPC interactions, motivations, etc, is when I DM for my friends I always try to work with them if the system doesnt have a rule for the action they wish to take while debating what penalties, checks, and rolls would be necessary to get it to happen and to break the monotony of roll to hit, subtract damage, roll to hit, subtract damage, roll to hit, for eternity. And for outside combat shit like crafting and the like I also try to work with them on how to acquire an item with those qualities but with realistic and reasonable requisites. Then when I finally get to play and want to do something outside the box its an immediate "no, its not in the book". After I help them with their attempts to break the mold and actually be a character they cant so much as entertain the idea and meet in the middle?

Theres also the whole Protagonist Syndrome that comes with it but I believe its from years of being a DM that forces you to do something and keep shit running along if no one says anything or makes a suggestion of what to do next.

>2nd session into this new campaign.
>group agrees to play and not worry about rules.
>that one guy decides to try to dictate my actions
"herp derp why you just auto-attacking!? Use your skills herp derp"

"Alright here you eczema having Mongolian looking fuck if I want to auto-attack I will. You can bitch all you want when it's your turn"

>It's the diabetic's turn. Him being a very passive person surprises me when even he tells the mong to fuck off and let him have his turn.

>Mong delves balls deep into the player's handbook because the Diabetics Spirit elephant guy "seems too OP"

>Mid sentence DM gets cut off with "RULES REEEEEEEEEE"

>A session that should've been a workable 4 hours (given snack and restroom breaks etc.)

>TURNED INTO A 9 HOUR SESSION
>Straight fell asleep in my chair.
>The Mong called in and had his boss cover his shift.
>That night someone assaulted the worker the boss put in the mong's place.
>The group hasn't played again since then.

MFW: Tempted to just donate my DnD books and stuff to the hobby store so poorfags can enjoy.

(The shop has its own little library of board games and rpg books etc. reserved for in store use.)

You seem unhealthily obsessed with Mongolians

>implying it's for 10 seconds
>implying it happens once
>implying people aren't ADHD fucks
If you think it's because I'm a bad GM. Fine. That's acceptable. Now let's look at my experience, which has been with playing with a wide variety of groups over the past 10+ years where I see this problem cropping up more and more as the millennial stain spreads across the TTRPG fanbase. Now let's take it back even farther and look at the loads and loads of people who complain on Veeky Forums about players being on their phones. Are ALL of them in games with bad GMs? No. No matter how good a GM you are, you cannot compete with a phone which offers instant low-effort entertainment. And why should you? If the player is on their phone, they clearly don't want to be there. If they can't even do the service of paying the fuck attention, then they can get out.