ITT confess your sins, times you were /devilish/, or just that guy

>I browse Veeky Forums during sessions when the party splits up and DM's focused on the half that's not mine
>turned a PC's mom into a death knight/undead warrior
>I feel like I'm biased towards certain players in my game

I want to one day have a centaur or minotaur pc

because giant animal dicks are my fetish, but Iam such a strong roleplayer I could make it work without ever revealing my fetish powerlevel.

I ruined an entire campaign because I had a bad sense of humor.

On Roll20, while playing Little Fears, I plan to purposefully let my character be Defiled after the DM asked us to "make our characters as similar to how we were as children as possible".

You managed to say something even more disgusting than OP
Congratulations! I think...

I responded to a That Guy with a That GM action. Basically, That Guy really wanted to play a character that didn't belong in a setting (a cyborg in an Hard Alternate History setting, to be precise), simply because the rulebook mentioned it.

So, after a long series of shenenigans, with him purposefully sabotaging the campaign by being overly aggressive in diplomatic situations, I decided to give him what he wanted... at a price. Since he never specified his character had to be GOOD, just a syborg, I put n my autismo glasses on purpose and give his character a nice fat list of disadvantages that would come from having very crude implants miracously implanted in the right parts of the brain, with weak antibiotics and opium as sole things separating one from disabling agony.

He didn't take it well.

One day, I will start up several Generals at once. Stat Me General, Veeky Forums Manga Thread, and a true BRP General, one that actually stays on the board more than once a month.
The Stat Me Thread is going to be the worst one. You know the "Keep 40k in your five containment threads" posters? Once the General is established, those same guys will start yelling at the Stat Me threads to post in the Generals, the same way it was done with /qst/.
The Manga thread will be faster than even /5eg/ or /OSRG/. It'll hit image and bump limit rather quickly, and have regular shitstorms.
Finally, BRP is just because it's another Tribe.
Ultimately my goal is to get each of these generals, and more that come to my mind, off the ground and self-perpetuating. They'll ultimately lower the quality of the board and make the community even worse. Then I'll finally take my leave of this place, and leave you to wallow in even more filth than you already do.
The board isn't going to get better folks. It's only going to get worse. Short of a miracle that suddenly raises global happiness, or a complete change of site ownership, you're all going to get slow-fucked by your own Self-abuse, until you wake up one day and realize that it's no longer worth it to stay here, even if you have nowhere else to go.

delightfully devilish

I accidentally that gmd by using an old character i played as a trainer/quest fiber, which i thought seemed reasonable but the party didn't like the quest or something and decided they would rather fight him for serious instead of for training.

Except he's like an ascended epic level character so fighting them isn't an issue. He isn't doing the quest himself for moral reasons. He was a solar system spanning ai with a planet worth of grey goo under his command.

To make the fight fair he used a squisy human form his grey goo pooped out to fight the party first round and got killed.

The way i described it and how he puppeteered it really spooped the party out somehow one guy said he was crying. It's over irc, so I guess I believe him?

I just wanted you guys to play outlaw star in WoD ripoff system. I thought it was gonna be cool. They didn't want a third session, which was whe. It was going to really open up.

*as a trainer/quest giver

playing Starwars RPG. DM dislikes any character I made because they where "Too effective" I, still dont know what he meant by that but basically, anything and everything would aim for me until my character was dead. On character, 3 I figured fuckit, dug through the extended alien races book, found a rat bat light sensitive techno phobic race, and played him like a horrible fucking parody of Jack sparrow, managed to steal a couple of ships by rushing the cockpit and using grenades and threats of canabalism to take the crew hostage

Apparently he loved the character so much he started doing fan art of it

I still regularly browse and edit 1d4chan articles.

[spoilers]And I don't plan on stopping.[/spoilers]

10/10

(You) should literally kill yourself, that's out of line.

Story behind turning a PCs mother in an undead?
Other than that I see no sin.

I have never once kept proper track of how may arrows I've shot or held in my quiver

I once tried making the most ridiculous Character to spite my DM for being a cunt, be he just killed it off... I actually kinda liked my wacky Character.

Same. My whole group dose it though, it's an unspoken rule that we ignore rules we collectively decide are lame.

>one of the first games in my main group where notes could be passed between individuals and the players
>it instantly devolves into us trying to screw each other over very poorly
>during all of this we have a small arc where we meet the current ThatGuy's kids and wife he left at home while adventuring
>find out fairly quickly a LOT of areas are rigged with traps
>family somehow disables traps so they never noticed them
>spend way too much time figuring out it's these ring they all have that temporarily disables the traps within a 10ft radius
>don't even care about fucking with each other I want those anti-trap rings
>manage to convince his wife and 4 kids to escort me deeper into the place to show me this hall of ancestors thing
>have to break the wives finger and ruin the stealth aspect near the end but I manage to filch all the rings
>her screaming calls the husband to us as well as rest of the group
>everyone else is within the husbands safe zone and I'm immune to the house now
>meet up near the entryway to the hall
>he's angry but goes to see his wife and kids after a short argument
>all stealing is over notes to the DM as was stealing his ring nobody has figured it out yet
>second he's with the family i tell the rest of us to just run to the door
>from the doorway manage to convince his 2nd youngest to walk to us
>only 2 out of the 4 of the party at the door knew about the traps the other 2 just thought this was some weird fucked up robbery or something
>husband doesn't stop it in time kid walks into these Indiana Jones style sawblades in front of everyone
>everybody panics nobody is getting it quite yet
>manage with the help of the group to convince the wife to knockout the husband who she now thinks either lost it recently or has always been crazy but just get away from her and the kids because he let slip the traps were his
>wakes up tied to this throne his great x27 grampa sat on when he first built the house
>looks directly down the hall to us

I was playing 40k with my regular group, and he was 'that asshole' who powergamed everything. Didn't know shit about other armies besides their basic bitch shit on 1d4chan and netlisted to fucking everything. Taudar. Triptide. Did it all.

When I fought him in a 2k game, I brought 3k of guard. Nobody noticed our table looking unbalanced because I mostly spent it on squad upgrades and tank upgrades. and two extra russes. I may have also deepstriked extra scions squads with melta guns. I may or may not have violently raped his tournament bullshit lists he constantly brought to casual game nights.
He may or may not have not come back for weeks. And we may of may not have enjoyed a pretty peaceful few weeks of gaming that was cool and casual.

>with some persuasion and threatening we manage to convince the youngest to walk towards us there's paths we "know are safe how else did we not die all day?"
>wife was too busy struggling with husband to stop the first 2 and sheer luck and threats made the oldest panic and push her before bolting deeper inside where we later found out he died
>leave all but 4 rings to the group
>go over and drag the wife to where her 2 youngest kids giblets were sitting
>push her over real quick and bolt back
>she just sits there for while
>DM is rolling like crazy and scribbling
>guy actually makes a stress chart on the spot then test rolls it behind his screen
>entire time we're just heckling while she accuses the husband of all this being his fault and he just can't figure out what to say other than to defend himself with only we were supposed to die
>find this next but out later
>after a while and some poor choice words by the husband she actually has enough "stress" to start rolling on the bad end of the new chart
>gets hysterical and manic back to back
>starts accusing the husband of planning all of this she knows his father wanted him to marry up not down
>at the time I thought she was running at him to kill him but she apparently rolled suicide twice on a d50 chart so the dm just ran with it
>some trap door opens up and never see her again
>leave the husband where he was to get the local guard
>beat each other up a bit to make it convincing
>claim we just escaped a madmans murder house
>take them back and give 1 of them a ring
>escort him past all the looted rooms because "we know the way don't stray too far"
>guard finds the bloody scene and feral husband tied down like we claimed
>checks out evidence backs up our story
>husband gets escorted out and we get taken to an inn free of charge they'll need our statements
>go out and burn the house down that night
>husband is railroaded by the statements and an idiot guard who wasn't trained to do detective-tier work

I 100% don't believe you could actually bring in your love for giant dicks without it being discovered as fetish fuel.

They do grow on you especially since they usually are not captain edgy and wether they live or die doesn't matter so you usually succeed suicidal missions of greatness

>guy has to make a new character and we ban notes for 5 sessions and after the initial bitterness and hurt feelings over lack of trust
>keep the stress chart system for a good while till the DM just gently retires it sometime without us noticing because you'd just get weird shit sometimes like euphoria, panicked, bloodlust in children or something when the stars align

Tbh this will actually RAISE board quality.

What's wrong with him having a good army?

I'm sure people said the same thing when suggesting Monstergirl General.

>Stress chart.
As a human we get to have one of the most advanced computer systems in the world! It's called our brain! But for some reason we about using it.
I promise a human brain will be better than a "stress chart". Your DAM should learn to control the characters and make them react in whatever way is approo to that Character, the chart is pointless for use on NPCs.

Now for PCs that could be useful to over come bias and meta gaming in a stressful setting.

I made a JK magical girl for an ERP once. I genuinely grew attached to her and am very disappointed the campaign ended.

That's pretty good user, what do you do to keep them from having an odor?

>We about using it.
We avoid using it.
See, my fancy hand computer doesn't even know English.

It was a chart for NPCs only. It took a bit for the dm to learn about the idea that not everyone was born with common sense or shared the same opinions when it came to making convincing NPCs do the chart and a few other things helped him to make them react "properly".

>Calling a crime good
That might literally be illigal, to "with intent" mis use bodily fluids. It might be literal rape. If not it's damn close, fuck you.

(Hate SJWs, but to physically infringe on someone in such a way is fucked up.)

Oh wait, we're going for disgust here?
There's a small cult of highly successful, fairly intelligent people who get off to being told they're stupid, or are idiots. They've even developed Alter-Egos that they put into situations where they can be abused as they jack off to being called a retard.
They call this their "Tard-sona." Your 40 year old doctor may spend his time on here jacking it to the idea that he's an 18 year old autistic kid.
Veeky Forums in its entirety, because of its refusal to be decent, is the stomping grounds for these Tard-sonas.
Half comments on here are deliberately made so intentionally stupid so that the poster can get off to getting lambasted.

>JK magical girl
This JK/JS shit needs to stop

One of them means loli. I don't know which one is which so as I'm concerned there is a 50/50 chance you're a fucking pedo.

One time, whilst recovering from having wisdom teeth removed, I was in the soothing embrace of Oxycontin and, during this, I decided it was a great idea to message my Rogue Trader group over Skype with gay fanfiction involving the Seneschal and the Explorator. It got really weird and switched storytelling perspectives three times.

If you're moralfagging on an anonymous imageboard over a story that is likely fake in a thread all about confessing your deep dark secrets, then you're already kindred spirits with SJWs. Might as well just dye your hair blue.

What dose JK and JR stand for? This is the first I've heard of it.

>Gay fanfiction
Literal faggot.

I found an article explaining it

japanesewithanime.com/2017/11/jk-meaning-japanese.html

Because he was a gigantic snooty condescending unsportsmanlike CUNT in EVERY game, even the casual ones.

Oh yeah, another thing, I've stolen the plots of H-manga I fapped to just a few days prior as scenarios in Dark Heresy before. It worked, I got praised for my 'gritty and dark' style of portraying a fucking Genestealer cult.

JK is high school. And considering you got that wrong there is a 100% chance that you are mentally challenged.

This is critical to me.
Are you gay?

...

>Not knowing Japanese prostitution codes makes someone mentally retarded

>This guy doesn't know my weeaboo pedo coding, he must be a retard.

>BBEG is this undead hivemind thing, he wanted the party to go to steal this famed warrior king's corpse and bring it back to a forest
>He threatened of they don't he will try to destroy everything they cherish and
>Gave party some magic items, two of which are things he uses to eavesdrop on them
>Paladin decides to try out keikueing him
>The party's paladin is the child of a PC and NPC from last campaign so he decided to bring the party back to his hometown
>Party gets useful information out of PC since he's a bard
>downside BBEG knows what they're up to
>Party succeeds in their graverobbing and destroy the thing that's letting BBEG eavesdrop on them
>decide fuck giving him in the corpse
>decide to go the opposite direction of where they were supposed to drop off corpse
>location was like two day's away from Paladin's hometown
>Party get roped into an Orc Civil war for a few months
>Paladin's mom was a half-orc, have a wizard cast teleport for the party so he can go ask her for some advice
>BBEG figured if he couldn't grab the warrior he'd wanted, might as well follow through on his threat by killing Dad PC and use NPC Mom as a runner up warrior

Jinx

While drunk, I once described the way another person described a character as 'subtly sexy.' This has become a running joke within the group, and, of all of the things described here,by and far the most embarrassing one!

Learning disabilities make you retarded, yes.

I'm terrified at this prospect but it seems no less realistic a premise than the idea that there are folks who pretend to be animals. It actually makes more sense than it should to me.

And even just in this thread there are enough damn posts calling other people stupid or condescendingly correcting them. I think you've killed the last bit of hope I didn't even know I still had for this rot heap.

>My PC is a trucker that has seen beyond the Cage and, thus, he has gone insane
>Other PCs are a veteran, a FBI agent and and a Soviet refugee, and only the former two are still in the Cage.
>At one point, due to the Soviet refugee swearing in Russian too loudly in an asylum, the group is involved in a fight against five Dead-with-Nails-in-the-Eyes.
>During the right, the FBI agent and the veteran are never hit (the joys of having Firearms Training), while the Soviet Refugee, despite being hit fifteen times, is never maimed
>In the same fight, the zombies have bitten my ears off and I lost my right arm with much elss attacks.
>It was all bad luck, but this made me think that the Cartomancer was picking on me.
>I got real pissed, but then I remembered that Dead-with-Nails-in-the-Eyes are just zombies with nails in their eyesockets.
>Ihaveanidea.jpg
>When the party gets to Boulder, we are stopped by a zombie patrol.
>We try to bluff the Nails-in-The-Eyes police
>Me and the FBI agent get a pass, the others are arrested.
>The FBI agent says he is going to try and reason with the zombies, since letting them reach the "police station" meant they were zombie chow.
>I decide to lie about staying there to watch over the car.
>When the Cartomancer is done describing the FBI agent walking away, I interrupt that player and say "I go into the nearest hardware store I can find, take the first couple of rusty nails I can find, and stick them into my eyes."
>I mirk as the Others start to holler
>The Cartomancer asks "You sure?" dryly.
>I nod
>He blurts out several insults and then says ""Now you've two rusty nails in your eyes. Good. Draw for a Pain Resistance check, Herculean difficulty. Pass it and you stay conscious long enough to realize how much of a moron you are; if you fail it, you fall unconscious then die of tetanus before resurrecting as a Larva."

My gravest sin is that I haven't ever actually been prepared for a session in at least four to five years. Either the people I've hosted for are nice and willing to put up with a shit GM, or I'm just really good at bullshitting.

Nah, you're overthinking it, most of the posters in this thread are just new, and these kinds of threads are magnets for people looking to get offended.

I never keep track of spell components and I routinely add spells to my spellbook that I haven't found or purchased

>implying it was dead

Wow. God, I hope that’s true. That would be wonderful. The dumbest posts here are made by smart people with a fetish for being berated for their stupidity? That’s... almost heartwarming, relative to the idea that those posts are the product of genuine idiocy.

This really does cheer me up a bit.

That's exactly why I said "Congratulations"
It was to imply that what the other user said most likely never happened and was just a "I was merely pretending to be retarded" act

Sold a belt of dwarvenkind to my female player's female PC. She gets really attached to her characters. she asked me if the belt makes you grow a beard and I played the question off, she bought it anyways. made her roll 50/50 and her character grew a beard.

her brother tells me she cried irl.

I am guilty of this as well.

Also getting so sick of some of my party members being more optimized than others so I make encounters specifically to fuck them.

Imagine not being a weeaboo paedophile

So you just decided to arbitrate that the boad is past salvage and think your putting it down? You're a sanctimonious asshole and are in fact part of the problem

I'm a permaDM because I know I'm bad at being a player. I have an overpowering personality that makes me the leader in most things I do, including playing. Luckily it works well with DMing.

I wasn't aware I had such an active split personality.

I'd scream mods but their banhammers aren't permanent.
HIROSHIMOOT!

See

Same but with a pony character

Kill yourself

That's just gay, not devilish.

kek

I really wanna play a hyena-biology accurate gnoll barbarian lady.
I'd only get the chance to bring up the psuedo-dick once because after that the shock value of that particular "quirk" is gone. But god damn would I make good use of it.

sauce me

Joke's on them, I get off on being mean to retards

>The vast majority of my characters are kemonomimi
Probably this one for me. I've played about four kitsune of the animu variety, three female, one male.

Also a lamia, a harpy, and a vampire chick, though that's less kemonomimi and more monster girl. And I also have a full on furry cat chick NPC in my 5e campaign.

I can't stop playing cute femboys. Its like a drug and the groups I end up with always love them so I have no reason to stop.

>made a scalebait fetish character
>650 pound louisiana gator dude
>he isn't very good in combat, he's a mix of bard and fighter and he's got a short spear
>focus him on noncombat things like singing, playing instruments, dancing and cooking
>spend combat encounters distracting enemies and occasionally bonking them with the wood part of my spear
>think the party's going to get sick of him and kill him
>quite the opposite
>start turning it up a bit
>party gets invited to a fancy noble's banquet
>spend the entire time there eating loudly
>don't even hesitate, anything that gets put out on the table gets ravenously devoured
>eventually too much, got drunk and passed out
>party's going to go into another room
>barbarian chick stays behind, wants to make sure im taken care of
>she picks me up and lays me down on the carpet in front of the fireplace
>she winds up spooning with my gator dude, falling asleep holding onto his thick tail

she is obsessed with my character and was fucking pissed when he got killed off by a gelatinous cube

she doesn't know I asked the DM to make that happen either

Her suffering is my pleasure.

did not expect that last bit, sounds like a cool character

It's more true than you might think.
The people I know in real life are just too god damn nice and are always chill with me no matter what happens, I just want to be told that it's not okay to be a fucking failure.

youtube.com/watch?v=iqwNFKahJYI

>that feel when she asks me on discord if I will give her a 1 on 1 roleplay session with her fem barb taking my gator dude out for a night on the town
I honestly don't know if she's attracted to my character or me. I hope it's just the former, I'm not looking for a serious relationship. Is it wrong to say yes, knowing that she might be using it as a proxy to ask me personally out when I don't want to reciprocate the feeling?

Not gonna lie user i kinda find that hot too. Stealing this.

Every time were going to throw some group or other into a containment thread or board, people who do t like that group say its going to be a good thing, but its always some fucking disaster.

Maybe we could try not conducting purges at the whim of the mob for once, and see if maybe not doing the thing that alwq ys results in disaster causes less disaster.

>, I just want to be told that it's not okay to be a fucking failure

I know exactly what you mean

To be fair for a containment board it's actually not even that bad, it's on topic and tries to talk about shit relevant to a setting and up until about a week ago was trying to make a system, there's surprisingly little waifubait or the like (at least, for now).

Nothing will ever top this one.
youtube.com/watch?v=3uIcXRbZ458

Nani the fuck is this amazing game?

>be the only player who tries to bring others into the spotlight and push the story further
>everyone else only wants to "do their own thing" in a fucking ttrpg
>be the only character who isn't a snowflake or motivated purely by greed
>be the only good in a neutral and evil party, in a game that encourages good characters
Next campaign I swear I'm going to play the edgiest most unhelpful cunt of a character and show them how it feels

I feel like that'll backfire on you big time and they'll all love it.
Those guys seem like the type that enjoy stupid edge, not the kind of edge that can add flavour to a party dynamic.

I played a female minotaur cleric in a Dragonlance campaign once. Shit was cash.

I am remembering that webm of a couple of boos overfeeding bowser with sweets.
Fuck me that was too hot for a nintendo game. Anyone got the webm I am talking about?

It's not wrong, you're probably assuming too much and she just likes the character. If not...maybe she doesn't want a "serious" relationship, either? You could have fun together. Or you could reconsider why you feel this way, this is something a lot of people would kill for. But yeah, just go along with it until she actually does something you don't want her to do.

Ok you gained my intention what's the title fd the hentai?

Alright. That sounds reasonable enough. Maybe ill post a storytime later on down the line if its not too creepy.

>inb4 rape

>Female player hasn't bought her own dice and has to borrow some every single session
Typical