What if there was a tabletop RPG where you all play as lobsters...

The lobsters should all worship Dr. Jordan Peterson, btw.

Definitely. In fact, PvP should be encouraged, frequently and often for no particular reason.

I suggest Vigor for an HP and bravery combo, just so we don’t have a system where everyone has the same health.

Do you get a buff for cleaning your room?

Lobsters don’t have rooms, but a clean living space can improve its mood and ward against depression.

I doodled this before reading your guys' posts, feel free to modify.

Good idea. Ag, Cl, In, and Vi are the stats.

Cleaning your living space is how you become Der Überlobster.

>What if there was a tabletop RPG where you all play as lobsters
BIG MOTHERFUCKIN' CRAB TR-

>and you level up by taking antidepressants which make you into alpha lobsters?
wait what

I think we should have some sort of perk/skill requirement for exceeding the square cube law on lobsterness, for epic level play of course.

>wait what
youtube.com/watch?v=zxKhmEmQkGA

Deities for the Self-Authoring 12 Rules to Run Your Lobster Life RPG:

>Phyco, Sea Dragon of Chaos
>Moshe Clamstein, Persecuted G*d of High IQ and Wealth
>Pytarrson, Patron Saint of Cleanliness
>Lenarx, Mad Spirit of Post Modernism
>Literally just Carl Jung
>Sero and Tonin, The Twin Guardians of Lobsters and Hierarchies

Now THIS is the dirt of quality contend I visit Veeky Forums for.

I think person could be something to discover. Kinda like Carnage amongst the Stars does it.
If you fail a roll you can either take the fail or tell some strength or weakness about your lobster with some backstory.
Once filled out your strength or weakness slot is filled and there is a fixed maximum.
Like 3 strength and 3 weakness.
Which gives each fail some tractial decision making .
Takes care for an simple a start and encurages role-playing in the game.

>Literally just Carl Jung

I like it. I'm still grappling with what others have recommended for stats. Someone suggested intelligence, but I feel like lobsters aren't too worried about that on average and maybe have somethign else. Either way some sort of fixed or semi fixed number system is needed for persk and weaknesses to work on.

Intelligence for a lobster is more about perception and understanding of ones environment. A smart lobster would be able to tell a trap apart from free food and have enough sense to know how a typical lobster will react in a fight, allowing combat other than simple “roll to pinch”.

You forgot SlavoZek the Terrible, whose horrifying visage drove even Pytarrson to tears.

I my mind a game about lobsters shouldn't be complicated because I don't think that lobsters lead complicated lives.
I propose three attributes/skills

Vigor: for being a healthy and dynamic lobster. Used for stuff like swimming, charming, endurance, running.

Calm: for being a lobster who lives long.
For stuff like hiding, arguing, thinking really hard for a lobster before acting.
Waiting before your lobster brain tells you to do dumb stuff

Claw: because you are a lobster.
Purely deconstructive and combat skill/attribute.

true, it should also make way for spell casting.

And an antidepressant allow you to boost any two of the three?

Dis gon' be good thread.

Call it LobsteRPG

Crab Truckers.

Sounds great to me.
As a re roll could work too but I fear that that would clash too much with the "tell strength/weakness" or fail system and nobody would ever fail a roll.

There is also the option of having it as fourth attribute that lets you perform "plot Force" specific actions.
Like magic, just with the name filed off...
Maybe use lobster magic channeled through antidepressants to pour effects that are based on your weaknesses, no, not strengths, WEAKNESS MAGIC !?
But I might get ahead of myself.

LobsteRPG: Can You Claw Your Way to the Top?

What a fucking buffoon.

A little bland, no? Why not Lobsters on Drugs?

Like "afraid of sharks" but gains the power to summon a shark by narrative and the power of drugs.
Also I like the whole "utilizing your fears" aspect, even if it's very abstract.

Also it would put a new dynamic on "in play" character creation.
Sure a good strength might give you a reliable bonus but a weakness might cripple you but also give you ALPHA POWERS.

I like this title, can we keep it ?

You know what this needs? More drugs.
Adderall should give you the ability to hyperfocus so hard you do lobster magic.
Also Steroids, but they shrink your gonads so the antidepressants no longer work because not even the happiest lobster can be satisfied when they're too small to bone any Lobstergirls.
Oh, and also there should be sexual dimorphism. You're an actual lobster, but the pinups for lobstergirls should be from /mgg/

if you're using antidepressants to get away from your demons, channeling them might be quite arcane, especially when Jung is in the setting.

CLAW FIGHT FOR ANTIDEPRESSANTS!
what if the winner gains antidepressants but loses Claw in turn ?
So wizard would get their shit pushed in in a good ol claw fight.

Or what else would the winner loose so it doesn't get (too) abused.

Or just use the antidepressants to boost you attributes/skills.
Also I propose a d20 roll under system.

I think the way it's going is we need the antidepressants to allow for us to advance, our skill/stat/perk tree is barred until we have enough to allow us to pick from those perks, we don't lose those per se if we go under but lose access to them.

I think a system this crazy deserves dice stepping roll over take the difference. Small rules that add random dice for no reason advocated so long as it requires no thought to engage them.

OH OH, I just had an idea, what if the antidepressants wear off using a real time hourglass (or similar countdown timer) to encourage frenetic play?!

Brilliant.

Maybe having the choice between upgrade you attributes/skills or pop a pill and whip out the hourglass for an extra -1d4 for each pill taken in a d20 roll under system ?
Two pills raise an attribute by one ?
But this could also be decided by the GM on how fast the game should advance.
But basically antidepressants are love, antidepressants are live.

...

...

hrm.... what if each time we beat mutated crabs/enemies and eat them we get a point for small attribute increases but when we beat 'encounters' including other players for any sort of contention and aggrivated GM situation we get points for actual perks.

I'm still of the mindset that the antidepresents are basically our level and encompass what things we can pick from.

I also still stand by dice stepping, but I'm just one person. it's all great no matter what.

Reminds me of Creeks & Crawdads. I do really like where this thread is going through.

OP here. Yes.

what do you think about the antidepresants being the level threshold for perks/special skills?
also dice system. Someone said d20 roll under, I said dice stepping and crazy dice, shadowrun resolution style

What about 3d6 roll under, and if your antidepressant timer is going, 5s and 6s count as 1s?

wait, I just reread this, I think I'm retarded. Could you explain further?

also
gyazo.com/530fb52d53b3503ffb059830aa45b3ac
>They're onto us boys

the final boss is a Mantis Shrimp

Okay so, so far as I see, from what people have said, we want some kind of three attribute system, something with roll under, and our alpha lobster level influences our stats directly and allows us to do other lobster things like level gates.

It degrades over real time, meaning we have to lobster fast, and screw over other lobsters frequently or as the GM gets bored.

Heavy modern philosophical and psychological overtones pervade and the influence of modern gods and psychology concepts are evident.

Our main enemy is crabs and the pharmacists that control our lives and deny us drugs that would otherwise allow our ascension.

did I fuck anything up here?

That seems good so far. Now all we need is a chargen ruleset. I think that what said is a good idea, with each lobster having a "fear" that can be channeled for bonuses or other effects when a high enough antidepressant threshold is reached. That allows more characterization for the players.

For Chargen, I suggest 2d6 down the line, with +d6 to a stat of a players choice. After all, there's only three stats, Vigor, Calm, and Claw.

That was my idea, cool! So we're lobsters, but we're also channeling psychology magic.

Do we grow into lobsterness from nearly blank slates if we're starting really simple like that?

>Do we grow into lobsterness from nearly blank slates if we're starting really simple like that?

No, we're born with very clear aptitudes and some of us are just objectively better from birth. Believing in growth and change is beta snowflake shit.

That would probably be part of the need for antidepressants then.

I meant it as, we start with just a +d6 to a single stat, we start with a tiny stat modifier and as we eat more antidepressants and our enemies and other drugs we basically evovle, like a cornucopia of different XP tracks, but individual points instead of dozens and hundreds of XP that basically boils down to a level.

I don't mean the psychology implications, we can work that into the perk tree and pantheon boons or whatever we settle on.

>Being so salty you grossly misrepresent a man whose only teaching completely innocuous pysche 101 to plebs

Given up on pretending to be better than /pol/ I see Veeky Forums

what are you on about? I wasn't even talking about anything other than the crunch.

>whose only teaching
Dude he wouldn't even be discussed on the Internet if that was the only thing he talked about.

He also genuinely believes in a much greater amount of biological determinism than most biologists and other psychologists do.

Additionally extrapolating literally anything about humans from how lobsters respond to drugs is absolutely fucking bonkers.

The whole point is that we have similar nervous systems and responses to status

CITATION

Because I've never heard him talk about biological determinism, he blatantly calls the western world a meritocracy and had stated men and women are almost identical in intellect beyond one or two soft variations in general aptitude.

You sound more like someone getting their info from salty snowflakes mad at getting called out for whining over nothing.

>anti-depressants turn lobsters into CHADS

Honestly not what I was expecting.

I said literally nothing about men or women. But if you listen to the way he talks, he's obsessed with people's physical and mental aptitudes. I'm not suggesting he believes it's a matter of sex or race at all.

I actually think he has some decent ideas when he sticks to psychology and isn't crying about the decay of western civilization or strawmanning postmodernists and other philosophical or political thinkers he doesn't like.

I just thought this thread was funny.

Relax. Nobody is actually going to have their opinion on Peterson significantly influenced by this thread.

Here's what I have so far.
Lobster

Attribute one Attribute Two Attribute Three
XdY XdY XdY

Strength One Strength Two Strength Three
[Example] [Example] [Example]
Inc At. Z by XdY Take Perk Z Circumstance bonus

Weakness One Weakness Two Weakness Three
[Example] [Example] [Example]
Circumstance Penalty
^
^ Unique, each lobster crafts these from experience (Simple subset of GM tools to let them build these somewhat fairly.)

V Generic, all lobsters can earn these
V
Antidepressant Level 1 'Choose a perk on event success' > [beat challenge, or other player's lobster] {Can only pick one Normally(?)} Other drugs let you access additional perks in the same Antidepressant level?
Perk
Perk
Perk
Perk
Perk
Antidepressant Level 2 Same as above ad nosium
Perk
Perk
Perk
Perk
Perk

Mutations
Attribute Increases
Modifications to perks
Additional Perks
Weird perks

Psychic magic~
Tied into Antidepressant levels, the ability to tap into weakness' for semi unique dynamic effects
Only have access to affect them at higher (Every other level?) antidepressant levels

tack onto this thought, I think that drugs and mutations should also add in weird dice bonus' like random d20's or a bunch of d4's that could be detrimental or helpful if luck is on your side.
Spells should especially be a dice mess.

McfukkinSaved

Itt: people who need to clean their rooms.

Shit up I'm moving

I hate that I know this is about Peterson.

Hey! His work on how rats wrestle is ground-breaking to human psychology! We are rat lobsters!

So, what's our lobster pantheon? Who do we worship?

Triggered tranny detected.

see
we're in a ... thing. Themes seem to be early and modern psychology.

The superordinate principle, and the ideal lobster who always tells the truth.

Re-read. I didn't say I hated Peterson.

wouldn't it be Crab Nicholson?

>playing as psychic lobsters
I really want this game

Vid related
youtu.be/swPu3-YjxIU

What do you guys think about turning Claw into Chitin for both armor and deriving your damage output, and using vigour for the actual fighting?

It's an edit.

Just cooked this up, thoughts?
>Vigour: Vitality, stamina, swimming, running, lobstering, and fighting rolls, survival time in harsh environments like the surface and volcanoes

>Calm: thoughtful action, willpower, puzzle solving, not being a stupid lobster, how long you can survive in anxious conditions or without antidepressants before becoming smol.

>Chitin: offensive and defensive numbers, clumsy on its own but reduces oncomming damage and increases outgoing damage

>Vigour + Chitin = Derived stat VIOLENCE

>Calm + Vigour = Derived stat INDIVIDUATION Magic stuff

>Calm + Chitin = Derived stat Resisting lobster psychology of some sort?

My main reasoning is to make all stats valid and have some sort of stat ballancing meta.

Don't make it overly complicated you cunts, you can't add every damn thing and have it still work.

This is the kind of game you run a session or two of with your m8s for a good laff. Spells, mutations, and drugs should be swingy and unpredictable to the point of insanity
This is good, but could use some streamlining
>Each lobster has one strength and one weakness
>Each time you take antidepressants you get some kind of stat bonus but roll on your favorite random mutations table
>When time runs out and you lose ATD, the stat bonuses drop but the mutations remain
Not sure how fearcasting works
We don't need derived stats. Keep it simple.
>Chitin- physical stuff, crab fighting
>Calm- mental stuff, psychiatrist resisting
>Courage- social stuff, also spellcasting

bump b4 work, you faggots better keep this alive while I'm gone

sounds good to me. I'm always down for random tables.

I think what the other user was saying about the weakness' is they're mostly story driven and generated during play like formative experiences.

If this is a mostly beer and pretzels thing I don't see a problem with them being napkin scratches that you come up with in the moment, especiallhy if you have a ticking hourglass rushing you. But that's just my thought, I agree with everything else.

Since we're thinking there's social rolls, how social are crabs anyway? They fight but do they communicate, or are we just going to DnD unda da sea?

Since we're more or less set on stats and basic rolling mechanics can we start building perk/mutations and psychic powers nao?

What are the actual mechanics for casting? If you're afraid of sharks, you can summon a shark made of magical energy right? Does the shark fight along side you or is more like a "shark beam" that flies at your opponent and attacks once? What about something more abstract like fear of heights, or claustrophobia? What about fear of death?

I'm imagining you put your target into a state where they think they're dying or being squeezed around on all sides or at the top of a tall precipice and get vertigo. So, basically inflicting various states of terror?

Shark would have to be some kind of swooping attack, I can't imagine having a shark buddy hanging around to be terribly fair. So roll your whatever against the difficulty threshold of the spell to tame your weakness and inflict it upon others.

Lobsters do not fear death, they fear death without accomplishment or status.

>What about fear of death?
Lobsters, like all crustaceans, tend towards an existentialist mindset and do not fear death itself, only certain ways of dying

wait, really? Either way it's going in the book.

Anyway, psychic powers, if we're doing roll under, will have to be written out. I'm thinking very vague things like "Summon X" or "Create Delusion Y" so you can fluff it as you like, then they have a difficulty threshold for casting, that gets easier as you get more antidepressants or other buffs from mutations or drugs.

"Send lobster into a long delusion where they stuck in a dead end job barely able to provide for their family for 5 minutes" with a difficulty of 8 to roll under.

then you have room for mutations that increases your ability to create dispair by giving you an extra D12 or whatever to use for rolling under if you fail your 3d6.
If you fail maybe the fear overtakes you instead but maybe slightly less time unless you critical fail.

Anyone wanna expand on this fluff stuff? I'm not very learned when it comes to psychologists and gods. I'm better at the actual crunch stuff.

Why would someone go on the internet and tell lies about arthropod psychology?

For lobster society, I was imagining them living like real lobsters do, just they talk and stuff. Nothing overly SpongeBob. But that raises the question of where the drugs come from. I don't want them to just be human drugs the lobsters found either

Invertebrate therapist in training here, I can assure you this is 100% accurate

I thought it was pharmacist scubadiver's pushing pills under the sea like ancient aliens or the cyclops from the spongebob movie.
Basically Sealab 2021.

Violence is just chitin, individuation is just calm, and the other stat would be for resisting either psychic powers or drugs, which is again, just calm. The three stars are fine.