So what's your problem player like, Veeky Forums?

Why do people do this? It's one thing to have humor in a game then theirs making the game an adult swim cartoon or them thinking its funny to do like to mod a game full of stupid crap.
Whats worse is when a whole group is like this to the point they don't care about their or other players lives and the GM feeds into that bullshit to the point the GM would kill somebody for slipping on a banana peel.

All four of them are a problem.
One won't stop memeing even though she's the best player.
One won't stop DEUSVEULTing
One won't say more than a few sentences even though he is the best roleplayer.
One won't stop being a chaotic neutral (actually evil) psychopath.

They crack me up though and are surprisingly effective seeing as 3/4 are playing for the first time.

I had a player that actually tried and made stories for her character and interacted with the group. Then I watched my group tell her to stop it with that gay shit and complain about women always being like this, and now she makes shallow edgy murderhobos like everyone else. I'm pretty sure she's depressed, she's stopped taking care of herself and shows up to the game in the same outfit every week.
tl;dr my group broke someone and I feel guilty

I understand her pain. I came with detailed backgrounds for a while and attempted to play games as a straightman, but after a while, others just wear you down. Since we have a permissive GM, my last character was an alchemist who mixed random shit out in the field which would never bring harm to himself because the GM wouldn't ever make anything outright lethal and just detailed humorous effects.

I wound up making a guy's beard sentient, it held his wizard staff and casted spells the wizard didn't know.

He has that wonderful combination of
>Stupid
>Suspicious
>Thinks he's brilliant

Which constantly leads him to think that either some random NPC or one of the other players is "secretly plotting against him". To protect his character from the inevitable betrayal, he winds up striking out at the perceived threat, which invariably exists only in his mind.

Maybe the quiet man only has a few sentences to say.

>good aligned party
>player demands to be follower of evil deity because "he's cool and has cool powers"
>go through hoops to justify why evil aligned adventurer is with good party
>player never brings this up again and refuses to do anything but pretend to be good in-game

If the one who won't stop DEUSVULTing is one of the 3 who are playing for the first time, then I don't see it as a problem since that's the best way to play for the first time.

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>8ft tall human barbarian
>minmaxed attributes
>illegal skill points, everything in "intimidate"
>"chaotic good"
>passes notes to DM so he can secretly cut the dicks off of every monster we kill
>fudges dice rolls
>literally his first action in our campaign was "roll to intimidate the bartender"
>metagames
>never rollplays other than making "retard noises" because low minmaxed intelligence
>Im the party cleric and he gets pissed OOC when my character has an adversion to the evil creatures he befriends
Why did I have to be the moral compass this campaign? Like even the bard is selling quest items thinking she can steal it back later but fails... what do

>what do
Kill them.

don't heal them because "[insert God's name]'s magic doesn't work on fucktards"

>"Alright, here's my guy. His name's Timmy Dimmydong. He's a famous wrestler."
>"Why's he adventuring with these guys? He just wants to kill people."
>"... Why these guys in particular? I dunno, LOL."

>NPC's wife is kidnapped
>He gets to her
>"Alright, peace."
>Drives off to his house and rapes her

>Obligatory on their phone when it's not their turn in combat

>Takes an hour to get there
>Leaves early

There's more but yeah. We have multiple GMs in our group and they all have a problem with him.

>He befriends an enemy
>Smite that fiendish creature soliciting with your ally
>"dude what the fuck, I roll to intimidate"
>choose to be intimidated, react by entering combat

He has a tendency to take any leeway he is given and run with it to the horizon, often press-ganging other people into following with whatever he wants through obnoxiously loud and melodramatic shouting, taking over entire games and ignoring the plot in favour of his personal project.

It's annoying because he's actually a good roleplayer, for the most part.

Maybe you should have said something, user. Maybe you should have called your players fucking assholes and told them to cut that shit out.

Anyone with power over him he wants to fight, even kings.

My problem player is almost a textbook case of high functioning autism. When he's reining things in and on the ball he's a really solid player. But occasionally he spergs the fuck out.

>Constantly mad that "nothing is ever happening"
>Tries to force his lolsorandom quests to push the party towards action instead of inaction

this would be fine except...

>The party IS on a quest, he just isn't paying attention enough to realize it
>Everyone waits for him to be satiated before continuing with what they want to do, so rather than pushing the plot along, hes infact the very reason it is stalling

He doesn't want to play without more people =(

I was him. Past tense because now I don't have a group.

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Years ago, I noticed very early on that a girl in my group gets incredibly offended whenever someone criticizes something she likes.
It doesn't even matter if she knows you enjoyed whatever is being talked about yourself, she acts like you just threw a drink in her face and cursed her family's name. She gets super aggressive and I've never seen anyone else like it; certainly not to her magnitude.
There's too man examples to list, but the most recent case involved her getting very antsy when our conversation shifted to how The Last Jedi was a pretty bad movie. She blew a fucking gasket and left without even saying goodbyes like we usually do.

I think she only does it because she learned at a young age she wasn't good at debating or articulating points and this somehow "won" an argument, but that's just armchair psychology.

Aside from the above, she's a fairly normal case of "tolerable player when they're not in bitch mode".
>Absolutely cannot take the bants.
>Treats most friendly teasing like she's being personally attacked.
>No qualms about dishing out insults herself, of course.
>Gets noticeably quiet and passive-aggressive when something doesn't go her way in game.
>Going hand in hand with the above point, is often a sore loser.
>Will use phone when it isn't her turn, usually when she's getting upset. Will drop out of conversations for increasing periods of time.

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Rambles incessantly when speaking in character. Not a quirk with his character, he's just awkward.

I'm actually fine with it because I use that time to tune out and catch up on my notes. He never says anything of consequence so I just have an NPC say "ok" or walk away or something.

He has a lot of real life anger issues and it spills into his gaming habits. Everything he brings to the table is grimdark, edgy, and tragic. Doesn't matter if its a character, a setting, whatever. Everything is depressing and cynical as fuck. Further more he can be argumentative. He has gotten into with others of our group more than once. Its happened so often that I can feel it coming before it even happens, like an aching joint just before it rains. More than a few sessions (and even campaigns) have come to a halt because of these anger issues. He is our friend and I only want the best for him, but if I had to point out a That Guy in our group it is definitely him. All things considered it could be worse. I've seen some truly vile That Guy stories on this board and mine can't really compare.

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The player who rules lawyerd me as a GM on what my enemies, magic items, and normal items do.
>"He can't cast a spell and then pull a lever, that's two actions! It doesn't matter if he didn't use his move action, pulling a lever is not classified as a movement action"
>"What do you mean the evil wizards staff broke? I didn't attack his staff or deal damage to it, it falling 30ft on to a stone floor shouldn't deal it enough fall damage to destroy it"
>"He's not using a spell/ability specifically in the rulebook, if I can't kill him in 2 hits then the spell/ability is overpowered"
>"It doesn't matter that the enemy NPC is using the rolling pin like a club, and only deals half damage, the rulebook says it's an improvised weapon so he has to roll at a negative"

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Fuck that cunt.
Just. Damn. Fuck him.

You deserve everything you get for allowing a woman in your group

Everyone but me is a problem player, except for the DM, who is a problem DM.

fuck your group. anything you can do about it now?

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I’ve got this one player who’s a fedora tipping atheist in real life (which we normally don’t mind since we’re all atheists) but unlike the rest of us he insists on playing one in game. In settings with divine magic being quite common you can imagine why this gets annoying.

He’s gotten slightly better recently, in that now he’s playing a character who acknowledges the existence of gods, but hates all of them on principle.
So instead of listening to him bitch about “you clerics are so stupid for believing in gods. That magic your casting isn’t from the gods you know” we have to listen to him complain “I can believe you sheeple clerics worship the gods. Don’t you know the gods don’t deserve worship. No, I don’t consider myself a hypocrite for accepting divine buffs and divine healing even though I openly hate the same gods that magic is coming from”

Reminds me of the Grigori leader guy from FFH2
He was a fallen angel that wanted the mortals to be free from gods/devils and not be used as pawns in their wars
Tell him to be more like that guy

Kicked, but his problem was, I'm guessing, some legitimate sort of mood disorder. Between rounds of being a solid player, he would fall into these moods where everything was shit and had to be complained about. It as like he had an alter ego made of distilled /v/ that would pop up for a few weeks at a time. We tolerated it until he started intentionally firebombing the plot as a means of acting out his attitude through his character.

Been there. Minmaxed fucktards hamstringing my already limited power as an ALGM. There's a reason everything you fight is jacked up and relies on DM fiat- I can't Just run a session and lean without your kind crushing everything.

So yes mimic. The dragon gets to attack first, period and no. Your meme strat hut and counterspell won't stop me from dropping a half dozen elementals on you

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He simply tries to force his roleplay.
Unlike another player who was very good and waited to have the right context, as a paladin he will always try to warn people how he will smite them if they touch a cursed item (even party members).
The other player, on the other hand, roleplayed the same char very well as an old soldier who had taken an oath not to lie and serve the god of justice, and simply acted accordingly. I'm sad he went back to Australia.

Hes just boring. He adds nothing roleplay wise amd whenever it comes to try to be a leader or charismatic, which are the kind of characters he makes mimd you, hes a dead fish and just stays quiet and mumbles. He also always complains about bad rolls and gets actyually angry when he forgets something about his shitty homebrew class that could have helped him

Why don’t you just kick these people from your groups?

Fuck you too
Jeremy

Someone who after 4 years of playing TTRPGs still doesn't read the entire descriptions of his abilities and often makes mistakes.

Gets butthurt when things get tough and death seems likely.

There's two of them that get like that. This is a pretty typical 'sin' in pnp, I've found.

He doesn’t think beyond the surface level.

>Group has to sneak into a masquerade at a mansion.
>His character is secretly working to switch the macguffin with a fake.
>Plan already gives him the opportunity to do so.
>Asks between sessions if he can try to sneak in by himself to make the switch.
>Remind him the place is filled with guests coming from afar, servants and people bringing in food, drink and goods.
>Tell him he’s going to have to get through a LOT of stealth checks.
>Does it anyway.
>Gets caught.
>”Oh. I guess that wasn’t a great idea.”

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>Doesn't track consumables
>Expects someone else to remember the plot
>Doesn't write down anything to help remember
>Regularly forgets to bring his dice, pencils, character sheet, etc.
>Always has to have his opinion heard/get the last word

>I'm sad he went back to Australia
Which state was he from cunt?

>always late
>depressed as fuck
>never has his character ready
>depressed as fuck
>doesn’t bother reading anything about the setting and doesn’t know the rules after god knows how many sessions
>DEPRESSED AS FUCK
The “oh I’m so sad” attitude annoys the fuck out of me when people do jack shit to better themselves and try to use their depression as a crutch.
Before anyone says “y-you just don’t understand” I was in therapy for depression and suicidal thoughts.

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To be fair I’ve done this but that was because the DM was misreading a rule and thought a boss could dish out 300 damage in one turn due to a poorly worded spell.

>Get in a player who's a complete novice to TTRPGs to join the group
>Other players unanimously want to play pathfinder, so I decide to use the system against my better judgement
>New player looks incredibly turned off by what he considers to be extremely difficult character gen
>When I finally drag him complaining ass through the process, he actually ends up playing the game very well, roleplays far more than the other more experienced players, and generally takes things a bit more seriously
>Throughs a fit when his character dies due to a series of very unlucky rolls, knowing that he'll have to go through character gen again
Would simply fudging the occasional enemy attack against him behind the screen be a good idea from now on? He really enjoys himself when he's not making characters, and everyone else seems to enjoy having him around when he's not making a character.

I have a rules lawyer player in my group. This isn't my biggest gripe about him. The problem is...said player is a condecending twat. Make a mistake or mispronounce a word and he'll correct you in a disrespectful manner

Second problem player actually told me I was running things wrong because they read the module. She also whines about there being consequnces for her actions. "If there is a chance my character might die; why should I even invest in my character and play at all" she said once to me.

There is nothing wrong with bullshitting rolls as a DM if it's in service of fun, I always roll behind the screen even when there's nothing to lie about, just so the act of rolling behind a screen looks natural.

DMing Curse of Strahd.

Two sessions in and I found out one of my players not only DMed it twice, but made his build entirely around trying to use flurry of blows as a bear in a Monk/Druid Multiclass before I told him that this isn't Kung Fu Panda. I switch things around and add stuff at random to keep him on his toes.

Other player plays 40k a lot and we decided on a corruption arc that's pretty cool, but his character's eagerness to inflict violence on everything is somewhat of a damper on tone, so I sometimes ask him not to disturb the experience of others.

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Sounds like he's going through some shit. Maybe you should ask him what's up in private, if you are close enough and assuming you aren't this mad because you have a horribly obnoxious attitude.

He's a power gamer to the extreme, and talks over people constantly. He's legitimately shocked and annoyed when you don't play your character optimally, and he likes to brag about his higher numbers.

They won't stop interrupting me. I feel like an elementary school teacher for tourettes kids. Just shut the fuck up. I'll answer whatever question you have if you'd let me talk long enough to get to it!

If he asks me about something I haven't finished describing one more time, I'm giving his character bladder cancer.

100% chance she has a tumblr

Only filthy saracens have a problem with this.

>tfw you might be the problem player
I'm that super bored guy who browses the internet during a game. I think part of it is that I'm still butthurt that I had been the original GM, created plot points for a whole campaign, then one of the players decided to try out GMing and is now the new perma-GM. He's actually pretty good and while his game is creative and we have some laughs I'm just not at all invested in the world and the style doesn't seem to be my thing. I still do my best to be engaged, but I know I'm phoning it in. They're all good friends and good people so it's not like I'm going to bail on them. Just kind of an awkward position for me.

The group is pretty good otherwise, but one of the players has a really annoying habit of having to react to every NPC and get the last word in. I know he's trying to roleplay but goddamn he has to go and talk to every NPC described, explain what he does when an NPC does something, and always get the last word in after any social encounter.

so, what you're saying is that he doesn't like playing serious shit ? Fuck that guy, next he'll ask to enjoy himself while playing

Same player.

>Group of bandits working out of a tavern on the edge of town.
>Party arrives at tavern.
>”If we know they’re all in there why not just burn the place down?”
>Debates with party.
>Says “I cast scorching ray to light up everything flammable.” Rolls dice.
>In our group if you roll, it happens. No backing out.
>Place burns down.
>Find out the only person in there was the tavern owner.
>Bandits cleared out like a day ago.

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>Doesn't let the GM finish his sentences with "Let me guess," and then either the obvious trope or an insane theory
>Intentionally made his character a stick-in-the-mud with a bone to pick with one of the other PCs for "drama"
>Tries to play combats by himself by telling the other players and the GM what they should be doing (This actually got his character killed when he suggested better tactics to the GM)
>Rules lawyers for both sides
>Whines incessantly when a plan doesn't work or he gets a string of bad luck

fuck, I've recently met a guy just like that, and I couldn't exactly figure out what his problem was
One of my friends mentioned that some sony products were lackluster and the guy stormed off after closing the door as if he was trying to break it

A powergamer fueled by a pushover DM. They homebrewed a medusa ranger that can do upwards of 80 damage with a single attack at level 5. He constantly tries redrawing the map and adjusts figures to fit his vision of whats going on despite the DM having a map from the book. Almost everybody is complaining to our DM about it and he agrees that player is overpowered and bitchy but does fuck all about it. Worst part is that the DM has begun building the campaign around making it a challenge for that player, fucking over the rest of us.

>Doesn't let the GM finish his sentences with "Let me guess," and then either the obvious trope or an insane theory
Insane theory guys are always amazing, especially if you're good at improv. As a GM I see them as a boon because they'll always tell you what they think, which gives you an edge and perspectives when building your scenarios

If possible, you might try finding another group to have your "serious" game with so that you can have your current game be a more lighthearted affair with friends. I'm in a similar boat, where my friends aren't really interested in engaging in the kind of RPG experience I find most compelling. Having multiple groups, I find, lets me be in the kind of game I like and still be able to play with friends without being upset that what they want to play isn't my favorite kind of game.

He doesn't make ANY decisions by himself. He is literally incapable. He doesn't know what his own motivations are, he doesn't have a reason to follow the plot (which he will mindlessly follow with absolutely zero question) and when presented with any kind of moral quandry he will just freeze up like a rabbit in headlights. I've tried helping him, explaining that it's not about making the *best* decision, but it is about making *a* decision. And It's not like I've scared him off with traps or anything, I generally encourage players to go off and do whatever wierd shit they want to.

I just don't get what he's getting out of this, but he turns up every game week, as always, and always seems to be having a good time, (until anyone asks something of him)

I have and I’ve tried to help and suggested he start seeing a professional of some kind. But he’s never willing to try to help himself.
I can only listen to someone say they’re sad and too tired to do anything before I lose patience.
I get that it’s not easy, because I’ve been there. But that’s not an excuse to give up on life.

He refuses to go pee in the toilet. He instead pisses in soda bottles under the table

As long as he uses le ebin coasters, he's good.

And you allow this to happen?

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Fuuuck dude, same here

I've got absolutely nothing about making goofy characters or playing a light hearted game, it's nice once in a while. But whenever we want to play something SLIGHTLY more serious (We never go fully serious, we're here to have fun, but sometimes you also want to tell a bit of a story), but He's still in full goof mode

He's a great guy, but it gets on our nerves, and we've voiced that concern to him, to no avail

He's disgusting, and you're disgusting for letting him into your house.

Have some fucking self respect

He's stupid compared to everyone else in the group.
>Makes bad decisions.
>Reads rules, but misinterprets them or forgets them real fast.
>Can't fathom things like long term consequences
>Any "good" idea is a blatant ripoff from popular media.

He's a friend of everyone in the group though so I really wished he was better. But I can FEEL the cringe sometimes when he says or does stupid shit, and every other player is too nice to say anything.

he's even apologized to me after a game because he felt how he dragged the quality of the game down, and I just felt so bad for him but I don't know what the fuck to do since just flat out kicking him this close to the end game would just be cruel

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Jonas?

I had an awful player when I used to run a D&D group back in Senior Year of High School.
It was out of pure pity.
I never wanted him really.
All the other players wanted him for some reason.

He spent like most of the time playing some Sonic the Hedgehog RPG on his DS. He never roleplayed. He would also then complain when he didn't know was going on, or that he wasn't getting any input on what the party was going to do. He would refuse to call spells and features by their actual name, like it's not even a refluff, he would literally call them something completely different, like for example he would call every spell that dealt Fire damage "Fireball", or every spell that did Cold damage "Icicle". He'd do the same shit with weapons, to the point that he'd call weapons that weren't even remotely similar to what he was wielding mechanically something else, like calling his dagger a "Greatsword" or his crossbow a "Greathammer" (I honestly don't even fucking know with that one). He wouldn't even remotely try and make a character that made any sense. He wanted to play a Fighter for example, who was missing an arm. He then proceeded to dump Strength and Dexterity, and had high Mental Stats. He then complained he couldn't Dual Wield, use a Two-Handed Weapon, or use a Sword and Shield, despite the fact that he intentionally wanted him to have one arm. He was useless in combat, which he constantly complained about. Any time I brought up how his character was functionally useless, he would bitch about me being a min-maxing rules-lawyering faggot. Eventually they ended up helping out some clergy, and a cleric in it decided as a gift, to regenerate his lost arm, which seemed reasonable. He then proceeded to through a COMPLETE fit, was literally crying and screaming at me for ruining his character. One of the other players decided to fucking back his autism, and suggested that he had "PTSD which made him not want his arm".
I hated this fucker.

>Always clambering for attention
>Has shouted at ultra-high volume to make "Sonic" spells more alarming (and annoyed my neighbours in the process)
>Rules Lawyers constantly
>Has awkwardly touched, caressed or made physical contact with players, including myself.
>Has on more than one occasion, rubbed his crotch under the table whilst talking to the only other female player.
>Has on multiple occasions hung around the house after the game to awkwardly force those who drive to give him a free lift home.
>Once sneezed all over the communal treats, the board and three players. Then ate all the treats because no one could touch his sneeze covered food.

Worst part is that I REALLY wish that I was bullshitting, this guy was actually this fucking awful.

Nigga you need to learn to put your foot down and tell him to knock that shit off or he's out, I'd have kicked him out a long time ago if I were you.

>One won't stop being a chaotic neutral (actually evil) psychopath.
if we're being honest that's my one of my characters right now, he's not overtly evil but he rides the line pretty fucking close

Nigga hit him with a rolled up newspaper and tell him “No!”
If he wants to act like an animal then treat him like an animal.

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I don't see what the problem is. This sounds like a great background to a fun story.

Argues about every little thing we try to do.
>Everyone agrees on a bottleneck strategy.
>No. I want to do it my way.
>Druid found a robe of useful items.
>No. I want it. Gimme.
>Find out about a dungeon to the Northeast.
>No. I want to do something else.

Can't actually do the job he says he wants to do.
>I'm a tank
>Has two weapon fighting
>never uses a shield
>But I have second wind and stones endurance, so I'm totally a tank.
Slows our game night to a crawl and no one in the group has the balls to tell him to fuck off.
Fuck off Kevin.

You'd be 100% correct, user.
And one she actively posts on too.

The big kicker, and what's getting me increasingly worried, is that despite having been with our group for 4+ years now she still hasn't learned to deal with our banter.
Nobody ever antagonized anybody, it has always been goodhearted fun. I shouldn't have to spell this out to her, but if she does something incredibly stupid in the future I'll probably have to.

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Keeps talking about orc rape

My core playgroup is typically pretty decent, but we have one That Guy who is a perfectly alright person, but is generally a terrible player.

While I admittedly will use my phone at the table it is limited exclusively to rules clarification forums, Pathbuilder, and the SRD, in short focused solely on the game, and even then I'm still paying attention to exposition, combat, or whatever. Everyone in my group is like that except our that guy.

He will be trolling MTG news, Other game forums, pictures which are always unrelated to the current situation, etc. Literally ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. I swear his number one used words aside from "me too" are "can you repeat that?" It has gotten so bad that I now rule if you didn't pay attention your character didn't pay attention, and a campaign that a friend made we all just started that our That Guy also joined has a strict no phones at the table rule because of it.

Another problem, and same guy go figure. Sleeping in the middle of the game and expecting me as DM to catch him up on what he missed. My campaign runs right through the middle of my work week so when the day comes up for gaming I get home at 8am, sleep until 10:30, between morning jog and setting up table for game ready by 12, game then runs until anywhere between 7-9 and if I am REALLY lucky the session is shorter so I can sleep before work. Tl;dr 2 hours of sleep on game days.

Our That Guy when he did work was home by 4am AT THE LATEST which means he was routinely home by about 2. He constantly is late to the table due to over sleeping, when he is at the table it is not uncommon for him to walk off an pass out for a nap on the couch or not even get that far and fall asleep at the table. When he gets scoulded for it he always says he didn't get much sleep which I always have to reassert I LITERALLY DON'T. It has reached the point I do not update him, or do the classic drop book on table to jolt him awake, which pisses him off but fuck him.

All that and the icing on the cake is all of his characters tend to be obnoxious murderhobos or edgelords of the highest order. As a player I have threatened to throw 2 of his characters off 4 of the last 5 cliffs we have come across, Stuffed his head in a bag of holding so he could not talk twice now, hit him with a Gaes spell to force him to not ruin stealthy moments, once upon a HIT HIM WITH A DOMINATE SPELL.

So far he should count himself lucky none of my characters have gotten high enough level for the maze spells.

Konosuba?

I think it's not your full responsibility to stand up for your players but you should definitely stand in when it's fucking needed.

In this case it was needed

He backseat GMs. I have no idea why, and he's surprisingly not bitter about it when he's overruled, but it's just annoying.

>All right, so you head into this new city, and the gate guard says that you'll have to register your weapons before you can be allowed entrance-
>-BECAUSE THERE'S RECENTLY BEEN A WAR BETWEEN THE RIVAL THIEVES GUILDS, AND THEY'RE TRYING TO CUT DOWN ON THE VIOLENCE.

Then he will need to be reminded every single time, that what he blurted out is not in actual fact in the game world. If you do not remind him, he apparently assumes that his random idea is now canonical, and will proceed to act as if it's truth. I have no idea how he got into the habit, and nothing I do seems to be able to break him of it. It slows things down enormously; and I'm not quite ready to kick him out over it, but I'm contemplating it.

Oh my fucking god.

This shit right here.

Sure, I'll wing things and run fast and loose, but if a player did this I'd throw the fucker out right away.

Question: Does he at least backseat GM passably? Of course it's not preferable to him shutting up, but does he constantly invent absolutely retarded reasons for things, or have rhyme or reason to them?

They will often be internally consistent, at least in regard to each other. They'll pretty much never have anything to do with the rest of the game's tone or setting.

Jesus Christ user talk to her, don't just post about it on Veeky Forums. Tell her how good her old ideas were and how the other players were assholes. If you've noticed the signs of depression - let alone identified a potential cause - then fucking DO something about it. I'm fucking mad because I'm responding to a 20 hour old post and this dumbass user will probably never see it

We have this one rogue munchkin fucker that keeps minmaxing is character and bending the rules of what spells and feats do to make his character absurdly powerful.
This in and of itself wouldn't necessarily be an issue since the whole party has been kind of lax at following the rules for the sake of making things more interesting but this guy is also constantly taking over every situation and encounter by spastically yelling out what he wants to do over everybody else even when there is no way he should even be aware of the situation (Other PC trying to talk to npc while munchkin is in other room only for him to yell out that he pickpockets the npc he shouldn't even know is there) Almost all of what he does is annoying murderhobo bullshit such as decapitating every npc that isn't instantly friendly and threatening those that are, he will also use the same bullshit screaming tactic to take every bit of useful loot even when he should be both unaware of it and when it serves absolutely no use to him.
At this point he is at level 4 and can attack 6 times per combat turn and still move AND take a bonus action because of nebulous reasons has two different boss monsters as servants and two different magic weapons.
The rest of the party barely has any input into the campaign anymore.
It's obnoxious and the DM keeps ignoring it for some reason.

>be girl
>be into nerd
>find out he is a dungeon master, get vaginally moist finding out he is the alpha nerd of his group
>try to impress him with your creativity
>do it wrong, get called shit ass by his friends, nerd makes no effort to defend you or console you
>even afterwords

Women aren't just "not into geeks" because they don't football lol

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Always horny, like to a retarded level. I don't know if he's just a virgin, or actually has a high libido, but he's always trying to get laid IC. It bothers the other players, myself included.

Have a really slutty barmaid, or something suitable for whatever the culture your party is interacting with at the moment, invite him to her room for the evening. Fade to black. A few days later, give him some sort of magic STD and send him on an epic quest to keep his character's dick from turning booger yellow permanently.