Paladin Tempted Edition
>"""Unearthed Arcana""": It's Fucking Nothing
>media.wizards.com
>5e Trove
rpg.rem.uz
>5etools
5etools.com
Stable releases - get.5e.tools
>Resources
pastebin.com
>Previously on /5eg/:
How often do you start a campaign as a player with a spouse or a betrothed? Are they generally still so at the end of the campaign?
If you are a foreverDM, how often do you use players' spouses or betrothed in the story?
To be honest, I was just fishing for feedback on the class before I let my players get their hands on it. I'm definitely planning on making changes for those.
>Paladin Tempted edition
That's not a paladin being tempted, that is a muse blessing a hero before battle, she'll tell tales of his exploits for centuries to come.
I think I've already told this story here, but fuck it, it relates to the op question.
>playing a paladin
>he's kind of a hardass but he's a good person, genuinely wants to help people
>party joins an organization that is resisting the enemy organization
>my real life literal waifu is a member
>I'm noticeably bothered by this, but I just keep playing as normal
>after successfully returning from our first mission, the npc members want to have some drinks with the party as an ice breaker
>my character joins so he can play babysitter for the less responsible drinkers
>the rest of the party just goes back to their rooms to sleep
>fade to black
>my character wakes up in bed with the waifu
>now he's dating her with the intent of marrying her out of moral obligation after taking her virginity
Where the fuck is the new UA? This is worse then "into the trash" because its just a slap in the dick, Id take a whole pdf on hemroid recovery at this point.
oh ye gods! my unearthed arcana is ruined!
but what if i took scag content and disguised it as a new ua? ohohoh....delightfully devilish, michael
>it's literally nothing
Jesus, I was wrong...Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
MEAAAAAAAAARLS
Went to sleep. Woke up. Checked the last comments from before sleep. Checked the "UA". Find the current thread. MandatoryThat fucker god damn told me. Oh well.
first go at a world map type thing.
thoughts?
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT
Lead Rules Designer Crawford! I was just, sketching my paths on these measurement rules! I see metric excercises, care to join me?
Looks a lot better than the shit I draw up.
>splitting rivers
It looks like a giant boot
Is this true? Can I get a confirm?
There is so much trolling in the thread on UA day that I never know what to believe.
I love it I suppose, the trolling that is, but when the chips go down and the dust settles, I really just wanna know the truth.
Mike Mearls here.
Hope everyone is enjoying my game. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but the real UA will be up shortly. Essentially it will be an alternative to the Encumbrance rules, where every object will be arbitrarily classified as “Weightless, light, medium, heavy, or Gabe,” and you will be able to hold a number of each tier based on your strength. Basically it will be 10 pages to explain what I just did in greater detail. Hope you all enjoy!
none of those split, they merge
so is Gabe weight just impossible to lift or what
Every single lake splits into two or more rivers, ya dingus.
I had a spouse and children in my last character's backstory. They survived the campaign and greeted me home warmly after I returned from my Oddisey.
Read it yourself.
>dnd.wizards.com
>we’re not ready to show any of the UA inventions in the workshop (mysterious smoke is billowing out of some of them)
Unless that mysterious smoke billowing out of them involved a pipe bomb I'd like a better explanation.
im retarded.. for some reason i didnt consider how a lake would only have one exit.
>mysterious smoke is billowing out of some of them
Why is there smoke coming out of your UA, Mearls?
that's just content! From the new book!
Not impossible, it’s just that you can never have 3 or more.
Where's the March UA Mearls?
If it's anything like into the wild, probably because it's a steaming pile of shit
>be new player in a mixed group
>one of the girls is kinda cute
>she is playing a young halfling prettyboy
>I am playing a Goliath
>her character keeps homohitting on mine
What do I do? Is she testing me to see if I am gay IRL? I'd ask her out but I don't want to ruin table dynamic if she is not up for it, but at the same time I don't want her to think I am an uninterested homo. What do?
Your world completely lacks plate tectonics. Also, reminds me of ff7/8, but with a huge land bridge.
Other than that, I like it. Might want to put some small islands in the central archipelago, and also decide where the dry area's gonna be, because dem mountain ranges are sure to block prevailing winds one way or another.
never played ff sadly.
Could I fix the plate tectonics by adding mountain ranges where it would make sense? im guessing north on the landbridge to "connect" the other two
homohit back.
Learn to role-play.
>Instead of getting UA tomorrow or next week, it just gets skipped
MEEEEARLS!
Goliath pound that halfling boipussy
It's not a requirement I don't think, but I wouldn't worry about it at this point. it's kind of the first layer of map making. It's not a bad map, no worries.
Uploading for funzies.
You have one of two options.
>Goliath is utterly oblivious to homosex. Why fuck if not for procreation?
or
>"Goliaths see no gender differences blah blah" in their flavor text
Both could be played straight (he he he) with a typical Goliath.
Seriously, just get in-character and figure out from there. You can play it funny, like next time (s)he hits on you, say something like "You're playing a dangerous game, little one. I don't think you can handle this."
Put the halfling on your shoulder and hold him close.
ill keep it in mind for my next map, thanks for the input, and thanks for the PDF, will definitly come in use.
"D&D player I hope you're ready for some mouthwatering new previews"
"I thought you said this was a new UA?"
"D'oh, no, that's why I call it UA, because it's new content from the D&D team"
"You're calling the preview an Unearthed Arcana?"
"Yes, it's a development term"
Really nice but why the fuck did you draw it across two notebook pages? Reminds me of artfags who draw on lined paper or in college-ruled notebooks. Makes me sad.
Where does Mearls live?
In our heart, our blackened spiteful hearts
Well I worked for Paizo and that's not a term I've ever heard.
How broken would it be for a class besides fighter to get Fighting Style at 1st level?
My autism is vast and my rage potent, where is his physical domicile so I can go express my displeasure in person?
its just the book i use to draw and write all sorts of shit in, ill be making the proper one on thick A3 paper
You can tweet at him.
Share some stories of cringeworhty players you have had the misfortune to play with over the years, anons. Extreme incompetency, creepy behavior, autistic characters, edgemaster shit - anything goes.
Thank you for the wise words, anons. I will show the Halfling who's the boss of this gym.
What's the absolute best Find Familiar familiar and why is it the Tressym?
Almiraj. Because it's the cutest.
A guy at my table has a nasty habit of interrupting whatever is going on to spout some banal memery and speak over everyone. He takes being told to tone in down in stride and obeys for the most part, at least. But he also can't keep track of his character or their modifiers.
He's mildly autistic so we tend to not get mad at him (it's usually his brother, who is far more analytical and observant, who starts in on him) but I admit it's a hindrance to deal with.
Fortunately in battle his characters are at least useful. They tend to be big damage dealers. It's just... everything else he does is a trial.
Alright. It's nice user, maybe cut the lake down to one drainage point, but it is very good.
It would likely be a good idea to make it clear you personally are not a feckin' poofter OOC.
Oh not at Paizo, no, it's an old TSR term.
Brain in a jar, for me.
a Spider for sneaky Bestow Curse
Not at all, they should've given all the martials fighting styles and given fighters more options/improved versions/better ones
I see.
You know this UA is a lot like you're not working on anything at all.
See Michael, I would actually enjoy that. Thank you.
I see.
You know these previews are quite similar to the content they had in SCAG.
Ohoho noooo! Fully original content, good ol' trademark Mearls expansion!
I was playing with someone who failed a death save and responded to it by bolting out of his chair, throwing off his shirt, and screeching for over a solid minute. Then, he just kicked his chair over and left the house. The DM still has his shirt.
It's weasel.
For UA
?
For Mordekainen's Tome of Foes...?
Yes!
And so you call it a preview despite the fact that it's obviously copy and pasted?
Posted this couple of days ago but I will share it again
>be me
>DnD 5e with new group
>doing introduction rounds
>I am playing a femgoliathwith 6 int, chilling with a female half-elf party member
>the third character's time to introduce himself comes
>he is a rogue
>he makes a comment in response to something in our conversation
>DM asks him where in the tavern he sits
>he says he isnt in the taven, he is passing outside, but he has high perception and hears the conversation
>DM asks if he shouts so that we can hear what he is saying
>he says no, but he has a special way to raise his voice through which other people he wants to hear him do (no he was not arcane trickster)
>DM says he doesn't
>player says nothing, walks in the tavern, we converse for a while
>rogue describes himself as having cat-like teeth, eyes, ears and whiskers
>DM seems confused
>"I am half-tabaxi"
>DM syas he never agreed to that
> "whatever, its not for stats,I just like it for looks"
>DM doesnt want to slow down session so he says they will discuss this after they are done
>conversation continues
>I am a dumb 6 int goliath, so I don't converse all that much other than talking about my homeland
>rogue speaks to the half elf, claims she owes him a favor
>"what for" she asks
>"I saved you from a rape"
>"no you didn't" the player replies, obviously very confused by the statement
>"Yes I did, its in my backstory"
After that DM called a break, kicked him from the group, and we played as a group of 2 adventurers and a GM for a while. I was lucky to never play with catboi again.
How the fuck should I have my players navigate a Dwarven temple (think LoZ) if none of them can read Dwarvish. I swear they all chose fucking undercommon or some obscure language. It's already established the temple is Dwarvish and I have (had) a lot of cool riddles in Dwarvish...
>join group of my MTG buddies
>were planning to kick a dude out for a while, said me joining would fit nicely with immediately filling his spot
>played Elf Ranger melee edgelord
>couldn't take any joke in or out of character but constantly mocked others
>tried to be the center of attention when he himself had as low a charisma score as his character
>eventually got bored of his character, got him killed off by the DM after catching a spore zombie disease thing
>new character joins
>Blade Warlock Half-Drow with Scythe pact weapon
>ohboy.jpg
>reluctantly joined the party for a reason in-character I do not even recall
>character's mission was to kill the dude that killed his father
>always got triggered in person when our Dwarf generalized him to be an Elf the same way he tosses our Tiefling together with Devils and the Halfling and my Gnome as "basically the same thing"
>player gave me a ride home every now and then if I asked so that we can finish the session and not cut it short so that I don't miss my last train
>lives a few km away from me, drove me maybe 10 times, distance from DM's house to his while passing mine is not even half a kilometer difference and not even 10 minutes of driving
>drove me home, then asked if I'd be up to chime in on the gas every now and then
>said "Yeah sure, I'd be down to paying like 2-4€ here and there for the extra effort", he responds in all seriousness with "Well might as well go with 4 and round up to 5 then"
>told him I don't have cash on me and that it's ridiculously much when he has no extra gas usage from that distance
>says "Nobody's forcing you to drive with me if that's too much."
>mention it to our Cleric
>he immediately loses his shit over it, tells the DM, puts up a vote to kick him out or not within the hour, everyone votes yes
>kicks him out
>characrers only notice his dude is gone after 2 sessions because he had no impact or relevance to anything at all
And that's how we finally got rid of Steve.
Well.. You see the Duergar... They're not the same as Dwarves... It's all cultural and... Uh... Excuse me for one second.
So giving it to rangers at 1st level instead of favored enemy, and letting them get FE at 2nd level once they are more aware of the campaign setting, isn't a bad idea?
Tell them they best get to drawing a map or enjoy being lost
Well that was insightful, fun times around the table, but I should get back to work on Mordekainen's Tome of Foes.
If they don't know the language and nobody has comprehend languages, that's on them. They'll have to figure it out themselves. Good thing is, if they never learn what the text says, you can re-use it elsewhere.
Good lord what are you working on in there!?
Let them bother with that. Maybe they hire a dwarf translator and have to split the gold with him too/have to protect him since if he dies in the middle of the dungeon they are stuck and cant continue.
Some of the riddles involve hitting things in a certain order or doing certain things. I'm not sure how they'll be able to figure it out without reading it...
Uh... A new adventure module!
Let them break down the doors after a while, at the cost of alerting extra enemies that wouldn't otherwise exist.
Scale?
A new adventure module? In this quarter of the year? This close to MTOF? And we still don't have artificer?
Yes!
A new adventure module!?
At this time of year?
At this time of day?
Set in this part of Faerûn?
Adapted entirely for fifth edition!?
What are some fun things you can do in a metropolis-sized city in your game that does not involve going to a tavern?
May I see it?
Thankfully I haven't played with such cringeworthy players. Maybe once, but the campaign fell apart before they did anything too bad.
I've got some cringeworthy DM stories though.
Watching a sporting event and glassing the other team's supporters with your mates
May we play it?
No.
But you can pre-order it now on D&D Beyond.com
DMs count too, hit us up
Going to an underground fight club to battle with exotic trafficked creatures for bets and glory.
The only thing that doesn't disappoint is their capacity for disappointing. I am genuinely impressed
MEARLS, YOUR TWITTER'S ON FIRE!
April's UA update: UA is discontinued
