Okay, Veeky Forums, let's play a little game. Let's say, for whatever reason...

Okay, Veeky Forums, let's play a little game. Let's say, for whatever reason, a chaos god of your choice drags you into a side room and offers you a bona fide chance to become a Daemon Prince for them. The transformation would happen on the spot, as soon as you accepted their offer. The downside is, you'll have to serve them for an eternity and generally deal with all the bullshit responsibilities and loss of humanity that would come with being a Daemon Prince. If you reject their offer, they'll whisk you away to the Imperium where you'd continue your life as a human being. In spirit of the question, you can be assured that they will carry out their side of the deal and won't seek retribution if you deny them.

Do you take their offer or reject them? If so, why?

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I take it because being a Daemon Prince seems a much better time then being some schmoe in The Imperium. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss my humanity and all that but give me an eternity of service to Khorne over the shit I'd have to deal with on a hive world.

> Malal/Zuvassin/Necoho, each an aspect of one diety
> God of Renegades doesn't ask you to serve, just kick Chaos Gods' lackeys in the teeth when possible

Accept, as long as my potential isn't limited. Mostly because I would wanna power-level or study converting other Chaos God's daemons against them.

>be daemon prince or live in the Imperium

Slaneesh I swear myself to you

Yeeeeah, I don't want to go live in the Imperium and as a daemon prince of Tzeentch, I get to fuck around with magic and troll people. I can be a big bird man and wizard it up.

I mean on the other hand it's an eternity of dealing with Tzeentch trying to be smart, but eh, that's something I can deal with.

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I take Tzeentch's offer before he changes his mind. Why would I want to be some random faggot in the imperium? Now if I got to be an inquisitor or something then I'd do it.

>>be daemon prince or live in the Imperium
>Slaneesh I swear myself to you
>Why would I want to be some random faggot in the imperium?
Indeed!
I mean, unless there were highly specific terms on how I carry out my Daemonic Responsibilities, why would Slaanesh care that I spread free love, peace, and tentacle lesbianism to the entire galaxy?

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I ask to be thrown into Calixis Sector. If I want to become a monster, that place will offer me all the opportunities I could wish for.
I'd probably die rather fast without a powerful patron, so I guess I'll need to specify I want to be dropped off on Dusk. Disease, poison, monstrous predators and horror beyond comprehension are all acceptable risks if I get to meet Old Mother Ruin.
From there, I head out to fulfill my grandest desire: to see and learn the truth behind this cursed sector.
I will be slave only to my own desires and the madness that will inevitably consume me if I pursuit the secrets that man was never meant to understand, but it will be worth it. Let the truth devour us all.

Unless I can choose the Imperium planet I would be thrown into I would go for daemonhood.
Tzeentch, Khorne or Slaanesh only, I don't want none of that Nurgle bullshit.

Khorne, blood for the blood god, etc., etc.

All this heresy :(
I tell whatever god to go fuck themself, I pass the test and remain myself. If that means an unremembered demise in the Imperium, so be it.

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this

y'all should be ashamed

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>Immortality and insane psychic might.
or
>Dying on Earth in relative comfort.
I'll take the power. Tzeentch please, I don't trust the others.

If I'm a prince of Tzeentch or Slaanesh I take it. Khorne I flip a coin. Nurgle I turn down

>tentacle lesbianism
Good to have you back, NiceDaemonette. I've missed you.

Tzeentch seems to be a popular choice around here. Hypothetically speaking, what does he require of his worshipers/demon princes?

That they are good unknowing puppets to his designs, to be used and discarded in accordance to his ever changing whims.

>become a daemon prince for slaanesh
finally,i shall be a virgin no more!

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Rolled 10, 8, 4, 3, 4, 4, 8, 4, 2, 5, 8, 8, 6, 6, 1, 10, 4, 1 = 96 (18d10)

Slaanesh or Tzeentch. Unaligned Daemon Princess if I could get away with it, but alas.

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Never, i prefer to die on my own and engage in the imperial guard, better die for the emperor than live for yourself
Also the number of people betraying human race for personnal profit approach 1% levels of delusion

>she's gone forever because nu/tg/ and post-2016 Veeky Forums chased her away
Why... do I feel this sadness over a namefag? Was it because they were nice

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Rolled 4, 8, 7, 1, 7, 6 = 33 (6d10)

>N'nowoollulao
Oh good, African Slaanesh DP.

Rolled 10, 10, 9, 3, 8, 6, 1, 5, 1, 9, 5, 3, 6, 1, 5, 6, 4, 2 = 94 (18d10)

Nice try Inquisitor

Why the fuck would I want to live forever? And in the 40K universe of all places. At least in the Imperium, I can die knowing that I contributed to the survival of humanity. That's way more preferable than existing as a soulless undying monster who brings ruin to everything he touches. Fucking heretics don't know what they messin with.

>I can die knowing that I contributed to the survival of humanity
>be imperial guard
>train for half of your life to fight the enemies of the imperium
>get sent to fight the tau
>be part of first wave
>die
>your soul gets eaten by one warp entity or another
>”i contributed to the survival of humanity”

What's wrong with becoming a (female) Daemon Princess of Slaanesh? You get eternal life, love, pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, and happiness. With the Imperium, you get degenerative fascism and a shitty, short life. Humanity is destined to lose and fall to the Chaos Gods, so you might as well join the winning side.

Besides, if big E didn't betray chaos and steal their powers out of his own selfish desires, then humanity and chaos would be having a symbiotic relationship.

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Papa nurgle hands down. I get to hang out in a kick ass garden with my hot eldar stepmom, I get to chuck nurglings at morty and remark that only faggots have tattoos of dudes names. the whole spreading plague and pestilence is just the maggot flavored icing on the rotting cake.

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No sacrifice made for the emperor is in vain

Nope, eternal life is the true punishment here, only brainlets would say otherwise.
>Besides, if big E didn't betray chaos and steal their powers out of his own selfish desires, then humanity and chaos would be having a symbiotic relationship.
I see you've been fed carnac kool-aid, emperor stole nothing from the chaos gods, each time it come out the source is from a chaos daemon, so not trustworthy.
The chaos gods prey on their worshippers and enemies alike, their do not care about their souls and will eat them regardless, even word bearers know full well going to the warp with no geller field is worse than suicide

You will die when chaos ceases to exist, it's not forever

>Tzeentch please, I don't trust the others.
But you trust the one whose modus operandi is plots and manipulation?

That said, I'd go for Tzeentch as well. I have no interest in rotting or becoming one of two varieties of combat sadomasochist, nor do I have any hope of getting back home if I'm a normal human.
So I'll take being a birdman wizard for the purposes of my own pure vanity and pragmatism.

Huh. I guess I fit in there after all.

>even word bearers know full well going to the warp with no geller field is worse than suicide
When heretics use gellar fields it's like keeping the windows closed in a car, when loyalists use them, it's like keeping the windows closed in a submarine

>gone forever because nu/tg/ and post-2016 Veeky Forums chased her away
>More like literally banished

>What's wrong with becoming a (female) Daemon Princess of Slaanesh? You get eternal life, love, pleasure beyond your wildest dreams, and happiness
INDEED!

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This doesn't seem convoluted enough for Tzeentch. But he does get the coolest princes.

You get eternal life nad pleasure, but not love or happiness. Unless your idea of happiness is based on satisfying your most primitive, id fuelled desires and your idea of love is tons of meaningless fuckin'.
Plus you'd never be truly satisfied with your life and spend eternity figuring out new ways to torture people for fleeting amusement.

I swear, all you people accepting this deal probably think being uber-rich would solve all your problems. Humans will never become happy by greedily and mindlessly consuming.

Necoho is the best on this regard as he doesn't ask you to kick chaos worshippers.

He seems to be a pretty-hands off guy. I guess he would approve discrediting religions and spreading the seeds of doubt. I think that's a pretty sweet deal for immortality, way better than what any of the other gods ask of their Princes.

True, but I'd rather be crying in a ferrari then on the bus.

>You get eternal life nad pleasure, but not love or happiness. Unless your idea of happiness is based on satisfying your most primitive, id fuelled desires and your idea of love is tons of meaningless fuckin'.
>Plus you'd never be truly satisfied with your life and spend eternity figuring out new ways to torture people for fleeting amusement.
>I swear, all you people accepting this deal probably think being uber-rich would solve all your problems. Humans will never become happy by greedily and mindlessly consuming.
>Implying making everyone happy isn't one of my id-fulled desires
Do you even CHAOS son?

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Imagine for a moment you are the greatest intellect in the warp, the greatest intellect in existence. Who could possibly match - or, warp forbid, exceed - the breadth of your knowledge, and be trusted to hold that knowledge while also remaining loyal? Who would be the ideal right hand man?

The answer: a 40k fanboy who knows more about the setting than any individual in the setting aside you and a select few others in a way that only an outside observer could, maybe even things that were hidden from you. Someone who hungers for power and/or acceptance, and who happens to consider you one of his personal favorite things.

That's why Tzeentch would consider recruiting somebody off of Veeky Forums to be a Daemon Prince.

Rolled 4 (1d4)

Hmm, let's review my personality so I can decide.

> Barely repressed anger issues, driven by seething hatred for the fact I'd be a lazy bum if I didn't hate lazy people so much.

That's Khorne alright.

> Diagnosed autistic, ADD, top-tier memory, and get off on learning new things.

Pretty strong Tzeentch leanings.

> Larger than average penis, very high pain tolerance, unabashed gluttony kept in check by aforementioned hate, constantly striving for Veeky Forumsness.

Slaanesh indeed.

> Family is everything to me, already come to terms with the nihilistic nature of reality, don't get disgusted easily, generally friendly demeanor.

Nurgle wouldn't be so bad.

OK, I'm firmly Chaos Undivided, but because I can only choose one deity, I'll roll 1d4.

> 1: Tzeentch
> 2: Khorne
> 3: Slaanesh
> 4: Nurgle

Rolled 10, 7, 6, 4, 9, 5, 6 = 47 (7d10)

Nurgle it is, I'm less surprised than I should be.

Rolling 7d10 for my Daemon Princely name.

Rolled 3, 10, 10, 4, 4, 3, 8 = 42 (7d10)

Like most heretics, I'm retarded, have to roll again for the chart.

Well, I don't. I'm fairly certain that even Chaos would refuse me, thus all I want is to be left to my own devices and quest for forbidden knowledge as I mentioned here: As you seem to be a very fervent follower of the Dark Gods, I think it might be entertaining to hear your answer to a question. My research goes directly against the will of the gods. A you most likely could not accept this blasphemy that could bring ruin upon us all if my hunch is correct, how would you try to stop me, make me turn back, to convert me to service of the Gods? Or would you simply destroy me to protect this "happiness" you are trying to share?

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>making everyone happy
You're beyond help, heretic.

Rolled 3, 5, 6, 3, 6, 4, 1, 2, 7, 10, 6, 10, 7, 5, 3, 3, 2, 4 = 87 (18d10)

This is going to by a mouthful.

Slaanesh, no question. fuck yeah I'd be a daemon prince of sex, drugs, and rock & roll

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I am Ph'Op'Kf'Dh'Eu'Dh'Yg, Daemon Prince of Nurgle! Because I am not an unoriginal fag I won't be wielding a war-scythe as my weapon, instead, I'll equip a massive cannon loaded with Nurglings, corroded sharp steel, and rusted chains. In service of Nurgle, I focus on the concept of Family and do my best to spread our incredibly twisted, but genuine affection and generously give gifts of disease to mortals and anything else that's remotely organic in nature, and some of what's not. I'll appear as a massive vaguely humanoid lump of rotting fatty-meat with an enormous rotted grin and a large number of lesser daemons constantly shoveling muck, detritus, anf mortal cadavers into my maw.

>Dehloecogoprtarshz
I was not wrong.

>. My research goes directly against the will of the gods. A you most likely could not accept this blasphemy that could bring ruin upon us all if my hunch is correct, how would you try to stop me, make me turn back, to convert me to service of the Gods? Or would you simply destroy me to protect this "happiness" you are trying to share?
Well that really depends; What does this research entail?
Is there any way I can twist it to serve my own ends, or is it just completely destructive?

>You're beyond help, heretic.
I know, WAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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I would take the Daemonhood in an instant it would be Khorne too.

Because otherwise I would be kill pretty quick due to having a Khornate tattoo in a semi visible spot or end up exploding into a bloodletter.

Get to hang out with Kharn collect skulls for my boss life would be good.

Not exactly, see the dozen of works where the traitors get assaulted by daemons

By the emperor

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It is simply knowledge that man was never meant to unearth... And that could bring about a future where reality, perhaps the Warp too, will cease to exist as we know them. A future where there is no difference between the Man and the Beast, for All Shall Be Returned.
Could you corrupt this research? Maybe. Perhaps you could guide me astray.

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>More like literally banished
Alas, we will not be graced with her presence for another 1000 years! I guess my only choice is to ascend so I can befriend her!

Any answer other than no or yes to Nurgle is objectively wrong. It's fine to want to retain your individuality, but if you do go DP, Nurgle is the only way, because you lose a part of your personality, but what it's replaced by is strong feelings of family and happiness. No other god gives good vibes out as often or consistently as Nurgle.

Also, you get Nurglings.

Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6)

I'll use the first number to decide the alingment
1-2 Khorne
3-4 Slaanesh
5-6 Nurgle
7-8 Tzeentch
9 Malal
10 Undivided

The second to decide how fucked I'll be

1-5 Standard, follows gods plans as expected
6-9 Tries to use the ruinous power for my own gain, considering the gods to be fool and eventually gets what is coming for being a prick
10 Is tormented by visions of what could've been and tries to use chaos to do good and fails

The rest is for the name

And I fucked my roll
I guess I'm just a nameless Khorne Deamon Prince who thinks he's a big deal and won't last long

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Nurgle. Hands down. No hesitation.

Can I be a skeleton like Mort rather than a big bounding guy?

Also, Papa Nurgle, can I have seven Vile Savants as personal assistants and minions?

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So basically the same thing he expects of every single thing in the galaxy? Where exactly is the downside?

In my case it is less a case of wanting to be rich and more a case of fear of ending up in a feral/hive/death world where I would live a dreadful life before dying horribly, or if luck I could be selected for IG and live a less dreadful but maybe shorter life before dying horribly, or I could get selected for one of the many inhuman experiments including the Astartes stuff, suffer a lot and then either die horribly or live a little more and then die horribly. If really lucky I could end up on a Tau controlled world and live under a different oppressor and maybe die horribly, if not sent to be a Fire Warrior to die horribly.
Being rich is out of question in a galaxy of trillions of miserable people.

The only good option would be to end up in a isolated non-important agri world or on one of the nice worlds in the Ultramar, and even then I would not be safe.

At least as a daemon I could die horribly and then get better, and maybe have fun while at it.

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>be a loser working 18 hour days in the manufactorums for a corpse I’ll never see
>or have non-stop coke orgies with daemonettes for eternity
Slaanesh my girl, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP.

>It is simply knowledge that man was never meant to unearth... And that could bring about a future where reality, perhaps the Warp too, will cease to exist as we know them. A future where there is no difference between the Man and the Beast, for All Shall Be Returned.
"All Shall Be Returned" and an "Old Mother Ruin"?
Sounds to me like you could be unearthing the Ur-Goddess, the Mother of All, Xaos!

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>this will never happen to you for real
>you'll never become an immortal Daemon Princess for Her grace

I don't have happiness or love now either and I certainly wouldn't get it as some rando human dumped into 40k. At least as a daemon prince I might get some momentary thrill out of treating the galaxy as my personal cumrag.

I'm also more inclined to be a raging edgelord and pick Malal rather than Slaanesh, but I still think Slaanesh is a more valid choice than refusal.

Sure, your life may be improved a smidgen, but you'd be shitting up the lives of countless others.
And that's terrible.

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But I want to spread Slaanesh's love to them... The net happiness they'll feel in their new life would be greater than it would be in the Imperium.

All you fags choosing from the virgin 4 when you can have any of the other chados gods.

pathetic.

Alluminas take me now.

>a man with taste

finally

At least being a rando human fucking ends. A Slaanesh prince will be scraping around for any kind of vague sensory input for fucking ever.

But don't worry, I'm sure Slaanesh can find some way to torture you horrifically for a million years or so every time you piss her off by not washing your twenty cocks the right way or whatever.

>Slaanesh can find some way to torture you horrifically for a million years or so every time you piss her off by not washing your twenty cocks the right way or whatever.
This is Imperium propaganda.

What if all I want is to be a nice friendly daemon and to pull off the optimal scenario, using chaos to bring into existence the most unexpected shit ever.

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Nurgle, IF the Daemonhood inures me to all the unpleasantness that Nurgle entails. So basically I won't notice/be bothered by all the horrible disgustingness of it all. Then I'd just spend my days playing with the Beasts of Nurgle and checking out Isha in the Garden.

If being a Nurglite meant being the suffering kind though, Tzeentch. Who I know is not to be trusted, but is the next best option of those available.

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Rolled 7, 9, 9, 10, 5, 5, 10, 2, 9, 8, 10, 8, 7, 10, 5, 2, 4 = 120 (17d10)

Rolling for Khorne and Tzeentch

>I guess I'm just a nameless Khorne Deamon Prince who thinks he's a big deal and won't last long
The nice thing about Khorne is at least you pretty much know whats expected of you and upward mobility is straightforward enough

One of the chaos books mention that Daemon Princes don't necessarily need to look based after the aesthetic of their respective god, mentioning that theoretically you could have one that looked like a plain human or radically different than what you would expect. So following Nurgle means you won't necessarily be covered in boils and shit.

I hope you become a perpetual right after the first time you get skullfucked to death by bolters.

>So following Nurgle means you won't necessarily be covered in boils and shit.
Yup. Mort is a Skeleton that looks like the Grim Reaper.

>reject offer
>get sent to the Imperium
>get shot for consorting with daemons

really a no brainer here

>What if all I want is to be a nice friendly daemon and to pull off the optimal scenario, using chaos to bring into existence the most unexpected shit ever.
INDEED!

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Yeah, less concerned with the looks (though I would probably go for skinny skellington style DP if the option were presented), more that hanging around in Nurgles Garden would be worse than swimming in sewage and all my new friends would be horrible pus monsters.

If the change makes it so that doesn't bother me, I'm in. Great Unclean Ones are a cheerful lot, we can hang out.

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Slaanesh, specifically, would be prone to punish you for arbitrary reasons or just because she wanted to.

Tzeench would punish you because you need to be a slug for a thousand years so you have a fixation with killing slugs that lead you to wiping out all the slugs in a system unknowingly causing an ecological disaster that ultimately effects one Space Marine who doesn't get his usual strudel a hundred years later...

And all of them would punish you for doing something they don't like or for failing or for making them look bad.

>not becoming a princely machine of destruction in the name of the Emprah and in the form of a ranked Space Marine
What's wrong with you people. That's not even a question.

Rolled 6 (1d8)

Dice Gods, guide my hand!

>1. Khorne
>2. Tzeentch
>3. Nurgle
>4. Slaanesh
>5. Malal
>6. Zuvassin
>7. Necoho
>8. The God-Emperor of Mankind

So, I am to serve the Great Undoer? Perhaps that's why none of this is going as planned for anyone.

I'm a 24 year old skinnyfat weirdo who passes out from minor injuries and also from seeing moderate amounts of other peoples' blood, and my willpower is rather low in general. They don't want people like me.

Slaanesh would torture you lovingly, and you would like it. It wouldn't be forever, you would get to experience all sorts of things in an eternal life as a creature of the Void, being unkillable and perhaps having your own planet to yourself

As loving as barbed wire urethral sounding can be, at least.

By the time you're a daemon prince of Slaanesh, I think you're warped enough to appreciate a urethral barbed wire flossing. Might even ask for some more urethras while you're at it.

"Explorers in the further regions of experience. Demons to some, angels to others."

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>Might even ask for some more urethras while you're at it.

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I like this. There really need to be more chaos gods in 40k, and there should be ones that reflect the fucked up incomprehensible psyches of alien species. The current pantheon is way too human/eldar-entric.

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Would the sum total of the Tyranid hivemind be its own Chaos God of Consumption?

No, the Hivemind seems to be antithetical to Chaos/the Warp.

I would be completely ok with this IF it becomes cannon.

Oh, and also:
>A Lord of Change, also called a "Supreme Mutator," and one of the "Eyes of Tzeentch," is an insidious Greater Daemon of Tzeentch, the Chaos God of Change and Sorcery. Lords of Change are creatures born from some impossible nightmare, immense bird-like daemons with shimmering skin, wicked curved beaks and multi-coloured, spectrum-shattering wings.
>Those who gaze upon these twisted prisms of pure magic begin to feel their sanity shred and reason slip away. Faced by a being of change incarnate, bedrock beliefs crumble and twist, and the mind seeks firm purchase in vain.
Yes. YEEEESSSSS

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Anyone that doesn't choose Khorne is a fag. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Rolled 6 (1d8)

I'll roll. Let malal guide my dice to him, or not