>The sultan has defeated the pirate queen and holds her captive within his harem
>Now the mellifluous morning songs of the concubines are interrupted by the harsh sounds of mallemaroking
How do you convince the sultan to either let the pirate go free or kill her, so the peasants can once again enjoy their early chorus?
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Ah yes, my daily concubine thread
>two words
HE'S EVOLVING
ALL IS LOST
MAYDAY
MAYDAY
please masturbate before you go on Veeky Forums
There were two words yesterday too.
>How do you convince the sultan to either let the pirate go free or kill her, so the peasants can once again enjoy their early chorus?
She has a penis
Start posting your harem threads in old english please.
>mallemaroking
>(archaic, nautical) carousing on icebound Greenland whaling ships.
The better question would be what the hell a Sultan is doing up in the frozen north.
Veeky Forums is really shit today, isn't it?
He’s a swede
No, just OP
He's an ice guy.
I guess we kill her, the sultan and the peasants. The rest can go free.
You make your choice when you kicked out quest threads. Now live with it.
>mallemaroking
Still worth it.
that would be fun actually
>implying quests threads weren't filled with sexual fantasies
Enter the pirate fleet breaking into the southern city harbour at night. And what shall we do with the stupid sultan early in the morning?
Quests provided a way to channel all this embarassing NEET sexual energy that's now dripping throughout the board.
This is the future you chose.
But you have a whole quest board for that now! Why stay here when you play with the rest of your breed?
I doubt it senpai. Veeky Forums has always been a stupidly horny nerd kind of place. It was way worse before blue board rules were enforced. Most of what we have now is a legacy of that.
>implying sexual thgreads were not here before quests
>implying the sexual situation shitposters didn't just change tactics until the mods started ignoring Veeky Forums once again
Quests and /wst/ were scapegoats and the no-fun-allowed brigade were idiots.
I hate quests. I also hate anti-quest fags that think they made Veeky Forums better by moving quests when threads like THIS exist.
Fair enough, I just hate the same thread every day.
>mallemaroking
Yeah.
Oh man the NSFW furry threads we had.
This.
>disguise myself as pirate queen both in and out of character
>in character swap places with her and fuck the sultan
>out of character blow let the dm fuck my rubber breast inserts to gain advantage on my CHA rolls
>rest of the party hides until he cums in me
>when the sultan/dm finishes the party pops out and reveals i'm a man
>they convince the sultan to let the pirate queen go in exchange for silence
>we killed the pirate queen shortly after the swap and now the sultan is convinced i'm the pirate queen and he should avoid me at all costs if he doesn't want people to know he banged a dude
>party now runs a fleet lead by a ruthless pirate queen who punishes crew members in such a traumatizing way that those who walk out of her quarters don't dare to say what went on inside
That's the culture. People just find new ways to skirt around moderation.
This is literally better than quest threads.
>just leave it be for a while
>eventually the rest of the girls learn the words to her shanties
>now the morning start with a beautiful chorus singing jovial and bawdy tunes
it's called compromise dammit.
I teach her all the shanties and singsongs I know of the worst kind. Either she sings herself into jail or the sultan saves face by debarking her.
Nothing about angels? You disappoint me OP.
Angels?
>This is literally better than quest threads.
How so?
>How do you convince the sultan to either let the pirate go free or kill
Have the wizard curse the Sultan's earplugs so they do nothing.
Impyling shitty fetish thread wouldn't coexist with shitty quest threads.
>implying people would bother bumping shitty non-interactive fetish threads when they could be posting in shitty interactive fetish threads
Ah-shiggeh-da-dahgah, nahalam.
Here's to the whores of Sailortown,
The white, the black, the yellow and brown.
Walk right in, lay your money down
And fuck the night away.
There's Betty from Port Adelaide,
The prettiest hooker I ever laid.
She has a cunt that is snug enough,
And tits as big as the Sunday duff.
There's a sing-song gal out in Hong Kong
Takes every inch of my whopping dong.
She knows her way around my cock
From the hours we spent at strop and block.
Here's to the whores of Sailortown,
The white, the black, the yellow and brown.
Walk right in, lay your money down
And fuck the night away.
In Dunkirk there is sweet Marie,
As clever a tart as you will see.
Set a franc down by your cup -
With her cunt lips she'll pick it up.
There's Fat Louise who weighs a ton,
Built like a cow, in more ways than one:
Shoves a champagne bottle up her cunt
'Til nothing is seen expect the punt.
Here's to the whores of Sailortown,
The white, the black, the yellow and brown.
Walk right in, lay your money down
And fuck the night away.
There's Nelly out in Frisco town,
She can really blow me down.
Says I'm better than the rest,
Let's me fuck the hole I like the best.
In Antwerp, by the Kattendyke,
Annie sings a song I like:
"Jiggy-jiggy, Johnny, it's so fine -
Come and get some sixty-nine."
Here's to the whores of Sailortown,
The white, the black, the yellow and brown.
Walk right in, lay your money down
And fuck the night away.
There's Maria down in Valapo,
Sweet as far as putas go.
Whatever I want she doesn't mind -
Up on top or from behind.
There's Nancy lives in Port Mahon,
By God, she is an Amazon.
She'll wrap her legs around my waist
And mash her tits against my face.
Here's to the whores of Sailortown,
The white, the black, the yellow and brown.
Walk right in, lay your money down
And fuck the night away.
>NEET sexual energy
Imagine if we could somehow harness that. There's such potential. Just what could we achieve, if all that energy weren't squandered in silly image boards? Maybe we could even make a breach between dimensions and get sexy succubus girlfriends for all men.
Now Meg's the queen of Tiger Bay,
Always right for a roll in the hay.
If a sailor comes in worth a mint
She will fuck him 'til he's skint.
You'll find Kate in Liverpool -
She could run whoring school.
She'll drink, and fuck me all week long
'Til my pulp and jiz are both all gone.
Here's to the whores of Sailortown,
The white, the black, the yellow and brown.
Walk right in, lay your money down
And fuck the night away.
This thread has a nonzero chance of becoming not shit. Quests were just circlejerks that never produced anything worthwhile. I'm glad they got kicked out.
And shitty fetish threads like these wouldn't somehow exists if quests were not kicked out. They aren't mutually exclusive.
Threads like this are turds on the ground. Quests were dogshit being flung everywhere by sprinklers.
Now fuck off
Shitty noninteractive threads take less effort to get into. In a quest thread, you have to read a large part of the thread to contribute. In these types of threads you only need to read the OP. It's the fast food of bait threads.
Turks were infamous for their homosexual orgies tho so he wouldn't give a damn.
>quests were good because they put effort into their pointless shitposting
k
It was a step in the right direction that improved the board.
>mallemaroking
I think the harem have become pirates
That is not what I'm implying in the slightest. Quests are shitpost threads that just take more effort to get into than thinly veiled fetish threads. Both are still shit.
>This thread has a nonzero chance of becoming not shit. Quests were just circlejerks that never produced anything worthwhile.
What about all the OC that was produced because of quests
I keep that in the same place I keep my PS3 games.
>IMBLY
There's a lot of OC so it's good you have empty space for it.
All that OC certainly isn't taking up any of it.
I have it right here in my greentext.
>
>necromancing your shit thread
Just stay on /b/.
Kino
Remind me, how many fully playable RPG systems have come out of the daily harem threads? I can think of at least three that came from quests, so it's probably more than three, right
I am the pirate queen. When he forces his way on me, I bite his penis off.
What now BITCH?!
Veeky Forums hasn't been good since 2012
At the very latest
How long did quests run for?
These were also all things when quests were a thing.
Fuck off, nobody liked quests except the 5 guys who kept all 90000 of them running concurrently.
This is a question more rapists should ask themselves before they commit for the act.
>tfw you realize OP is actually just a high school english teacher using his daily concubine threads as a cover to get us all to look up and learn new words
I'm onto you concubine-user.
Different user. Funnily enough it's fairly hard to actually bite off most dicks. Our teeth are absolutely dog shit for that sort of thing and it's usually thick enough that getting that kind of proper leverage against it is next to impossible while it also has the right amount of give to just be compressed instead of sheared.
It usually just leads to a now pissed off person who on average has half a foot of height, 40lbs more mass, and at least 40% more muscle mass who already had enough control over you to shove his dick down your throat.
If the person in question was truly worried about this happening, they'd just knock your teeth out first
True enough the real issue is the female jaw structure and musculature just isn't that capable of the task. Worst case scenario happens you bite him he now has even less reason to not kick your ass till your complacent which usually involved punches to a physically delicate jaw.
There's a reason one of the more common injuries of violent rape is broken or fractured jaws and other facial injuries.
B-Bard user? Is that you from the fem Knight threads?
So, wait, the problem is that the former pirate queen, now under house arrest in the sultan's harem, is getting rip-roaringly drunk with at least one other person in the morning? (Maybe she's getting drunk with a concubine, maybe one of the eunuchs is a lightweight)
Yes
Take the beer away, hope the DTs don't kill her.
And for the first time in almost ten years....I can't fap to this.
Who's asking.
>user doesn't like a little ryona
Get out.
Honestly, a harem of cunning, hard-singing, hard-drinking Veeky Forums pirates sounds a lot more appealing than a bunch of soft, brainless bitches who've got nothing more than their looks.
>My lord! They've set the palace afloat!
Yes, angels were the non-harem shitpost of yesterday.
Reported for shit.
Are you aware that spamming "reported", as well as abusing the report function, is itself a bannable offense?
In short, mods.
Reminder that quest threads are NEVER EVER coming back.
>implying
I disagree, I liked quest.
And Veeky Forums was a good place for them.
And I didn't play in much of those, one or two a month (more if it was evolution quest, liked those).
The fact that you don't like quest shouldn't be a reason to remove them for Veeky Forums
When polled, over 50% people wanted a separate /qst/ created.
Anime Panty Sniffing Quest #9001 had no place on Veeky Forums.
The poll that never existed, you mean?
Really dude, you aren't helping your case by being a bold faced liar.
What's the point of bringing quests back on Veeky Forums, anyway? Most of Veeky Forums wants to keep them out while most of /qst/ wants to stay separate and for a good reason. Their board is tailor-made for running them compared to this joint.
Different user but there actually was a poll i recall happening that actually determined what new test boards would be made and /wst/ was one of them and it stuck.
>When polled, over 50% people wanted a separate /qst/ created.
Nah, the poll was 95% in favor of keeping quests on Veeky Forums. Feel free to offer proof to the contrary.
I used to be a QM and a player in a few quests back when it wasn't very common for them to be run. Only a handful of quests ever ran at any given time. At a certain point autists started loudly complaining about threads that they didn't like, and they started spamming reports against quest threads. Moot ruled that quests were Veeky Forums related around the time that /qa/ became a thing. He was heavily lobbied by the same autists making thread after thread about threads that they didn't like to make a separate board, and so the incredibly noisy minority forced the creation of a spin off.
I never use that spin off as I don't know whether I'm in the mood for a quest until I hear it pitched to me, and it's harder to find an audience there than it was on Veeky Forums. Ergo the move heavily damaged quests in order to satisfy the autistic screeching of a few neckbeards who wanted everyone to stop liking what they don't like.
To many of us it would be the sweetest thing in the world to see quests come back to Veeky Forums just to hear the lamentations of the jackasses who fucked everything up in the first place.
Player participation dropped to about 1/10 of what it was on Veeky Forums because quests were just a fun time-wasting activity that people participated in WHILE browsing Veeky Forums.
Very few people, by comparison, are willing to lurk a dead board like /qst/ on the rare chance that a quest they're interested in will be on the board.
tl;dr making a board for quests makes as much sense as making separate boards for "RPG fluff" and "RPG rules" because someone on Veeky Forums doesn't like homebrew settings.
>I have never been to qst: the post
>To many of us it would be the sweetest thing in the world to see quests come back to Veeky Forums just to hear the lamentations of the jackasses who fucked everything up in the first place.
Then you understand how I feel about quests being banned. It was a sweet victory, not only because it improved Veeky Forums, but because it made people that like quests angry and effectively killed them as /qst/ is dead.
It didn't improve Veeky Forums in the least, it just got rid of something Veeky Forums related that subjectively triggered you.
Now this is a fine post.
>improved
nah, its pretty much the same. shitpost threads just stay up longer now.
It improved Veeky Forums immensly, quest threads were circlejerks that took up lots space in the catalog while only having a handful of posters participating. Their only contribution to this board was killing slower on topic threads. I'm glad they're gone and that people who liked them were triggered by that.
>their only cost is killing slow threads and forcing autists to hide them
>I hate them and I want people who like them to suffer!
You aren't even self conscious enough to realize what a plague you are.