What normie board game is the worst and why?

Agreed. All normie games suck. Risk is the worst because it takes the longest to finish.

I know this is Veeky Forums but the version of Risk you can get on your phone is actually pretty good. Massively cuts down set-up time and the length of the game in general

Once I read a smart thing on Veeky Forums I'd like to share. Games like snakes and ladders, candyland and so on are not really games, they're teaching tools so that kids can learn game procedures. It's unfair to criticize them by comparing to any decent boardgame, but nobody over the age of 12 has a reason to play it without kids.

As for the worst, I'd say risk over Monopoly. Monopoly has a social component and common houserules that can make it bearable. Risk is Dumb Luck: the Game but muggles think it's the pinnacle of muh stratugy and play it over and over and fucking over.

This. Monopoly can actually be pretty damn fun if the players know how to have fun with it. When we were around our early teens there was a period when I used to meet up with my friends and play monopoly regularly

dice+2d6

?

Oh.

Monopoly is the obvious answer, it's long and boring and shitty as hell

That sucks.

Huh?

Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d6)

What email field?

Why is it called an email field?

Candyland. It's classic, but it's also completely, 100% random.

Clue is a normie game, but it's great, and is even an exception to the normal rule that movies based on game properties suck.

Settlers of Catan is a lot of fun but it does really irk me that you cant just raid your opponents farms and annex their land by force. Definitely crrated by liberals.

>risk is the worst
Wanna know how I know you always try and take europe?

Because that's what it originally was.

Clue:

> enter room you have the card for
> guess suspect and weapon you have the cards for
> opponents can't show you any because you have them all
> circle random words on your scoresheet
> they think you've figured out at least one and will note accordingly.
> will waste turns trying to work out which one

>It's like bouncing a tennis ball off a wall for 20 minutes except you can get better at that.
Squash is a sport

A game is more sensibly defined as an activity that has a win/lose condition.

Is Clue the best of the classic normie game? We all know Risk and Monopoly are the worst (excluding the not-games like Candyland), but which is the best? And no, before you ask, Catan does not count as a normie game.

Because it used to be used for linking to a user's email. It also doubled as an options field. Nobody used it for email, so moot eventually removed the capability entirely

The sticky is ancient.

No, I'm with that user. If there's no decisions made, you're not playing a game.

I might contest stratego as an candidate

At least Clue made for a great movie.

The biggest difference being that you could see the contents of the field if you hovered over the username. I only saw a few people ever use it for its intended purpose, but I saw plenty of people use it for fun sub-messages. I kinda miss it.

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Attached: candyland2.jpg (1000x1500, 424K)

Like this.
What comic is it?

I think it's called Existential Comics.

It has a spinner these days, apparently.

Monopoly. No one knows how to play the actual goddamned game, leading to the game lasting forever or until the people playing the game suffer monopoly madness and attempting to murder each other.

I play trivi-opoly. If you want to buy a property you have to answer a trivial pursuit question; your choice of category. If you want to buy a property that completes the set then roll to determine category.

I can't tell if I love this or hate this

Gambling is gaming, why would chutes and ladders not be?

Existential Comics. its artist is a fool who doesn't understand marxism, but some of the comics are funny.

The problem with Risk is that is has a length befitting of a complex, in-depth strategy game, but is about as shallow as a strategy game can get. If a game is going to be hours long it better have mechanics and strategic depth to make it worthwhile.

You make decision on where and how much you bet.

Now I do agree that gaming does not require decision. Win loss conditions are the bare minimum

In what sort of gambling game do you not make decision? Lottery tickets? Because I don't consider those games.

RPGs don't have win/loss conditions. Guess they're not games!

They aren't. They're a form of play. A given challenge, however, is usually a game.

Yeah they do. Accomplishment and failures. Ultimate failure being tpk.

Foolish fool, Snakes and Ladders is a brilliant game designed to teach morality.
youtu.be/PzLYKY1nPsY
Its crunch perfectly reflects the lesson you are supposed to learn.

Unironically Catan.

So it's a perfect representation of capitalism.

Well, I don't agree, but at least you're consistent. You do you.

Not at all. Many RPGs never weight one alternative above the other and that model doesn't come close to accounting for contextual complexities - if our party bravely makes a heroic sacrifice, completing our Arcus a satisfying way, why is that a loss? Seems like a win contextually to me.

The "We'll just play until whenever" variant of Cards Against Humanity. It always ends with a bunch of groans, yet get pulled out every party.

Also, no one plays with the rest of the rules that envoles playing multiple cards, which makes the game a lot better.

Cards Against Humanity

What? Battleship was quite amazing.

>if our party bravely makes a heroic sacrifice, completing our Arcus a satisfying way, why is that a loss? Seems like a win contextually to me.
That's just loser talk trying to brush off their loss. You lost but had fun but you LOST.

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CAH is fun to play
once
which is more than can be said for the other games posted here

There's a card game version of Clue that is vastly superior to the board game. No rolling to move, more interesting things to do on your turn-- I strongly endorse it.

I'll have to look into it

Rolled 5 (1d6)

All you fucks ITT arguing over this and I'm going to win the game.

Fuck, you got the ladder and anything. Are you a snakes and ladders pro?

Pro would have thrown 2.

Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 9 (9d1)

Oh, yeah? Watch THIS. After all, apparently the lesson of monopoly is that you should "houserule" boardgames to get ahead.

That's a fucking great candidate.

I might also add, unironically, poker. It may have a lot of randomness, but it has really intense clutch plays and really does involve a great deal of bluffing and acting.

He must have been practising

Nice

Not much for poker myself, but I can see the argument.

If we are veering off boards I nominate Uno for best normie game.

Frustration. I don't need a headache with my game of ludo, thank you very much.

Rolled 2 (1d6)

You idiot. Throwing 2 to start is vulnerable to subsequently throwing 5. Now I'm a position where I'm totally secure from snakes.

BOOM! You see? You would have thrown 2, 5 going up to 15 and then down to 6.

I threw 5, 2 going up to 7 and then all the way to 27. You're a fucking amateur at Snakes & Ladders my man. I play this at the top competitive level - they call me the Mongoose.