>Unearthed Arcana: Fuck You, Playerbase
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>Previously on /5eg/:
Allowing using Inspiration to reroll dice AFTER seeing the result - yes or no?
Just had the worst session I've played at in years. And the worst thing is, the campaign overall is great, but this particular session sucked balls.
Some backstory:
>Our party is in charge of a small barony
>Recently, during my personal plotline, I found out that a dangerous cult is active in our lands
>It's sacrificing people - including the children - to a dead goddess in order to revive it
>Shocking!
>The cult is using magic items to be absolutely anonymous and unidentifiable as long as they're alive
>Terrible.
>But the worst thing is, I accidentally find out that one of our ally NPCs - a young knight - is one of them
>And no, he's not infiltrating them - he's "killed children" levels of balls deep in this shit
>Also, apparently he joined because his father told him he can't fuck his sister
>Okay, this particular traitor will be fucking hanged.
>After some filler arcs, finally get to cultist slaying
>Develop a plan to identify and ambush the cult leader
>Wait, nevermind, NPCs tell us that the cult is up to no good
>Defeat the cult leader and some of her flunkies
>No villain monologue, no motive rant
>After all this sessions and sessions worth of build-up, we just kinda exchange threats and fight
>Easily defeat her and kill her God-Tree
>Return to the village, where the rest of the cult is quite easily moped up by NPCs
>And the Knight-Traitor is one of the friendlies.
Getting a bit bored of the standard combat paradigm and thinking about interesting combat encounters that don't involve just whittling down hp.
Would an unkillable enemy be a bad way to go about doing this.
>He is absolutely unapologetic about his cultist days
>Just whines about how his daddy never loved him, as if it excuses him
>The lawful good paladin NPC says that we can't do that
>"He made the right decision in the end!"
>Yeah, about that, why did he suddenly decide he's on our side again?
>Turns out, the cult wanted to sacrifice his sister too
>"Innocent children? Fair game. Sister I want to fuck? Deabreaker!"
>Exile his fucking ass, death is too good for him.
>The paladin, disgusted with us, goes in voluntarily exile with him
>They end up forming an adventuring party together
>He gets away scot free with all the horrible shit he did, gets rewarded for it and becomes a hero
>All the while not regretting any of the horrible shit he did
>The narration treats it as a good thing.
>Session ends on this note
I am beyond fucking mad.
>Spamming a new thread prematurely to get attention for your son story
Slay thyself
Boo hoo next time you want a pity party don't spam a whole new thread to do it
>Report and sage
Can a Berserker Barb just call "I frenzy" whenever he's in a rage or does he have to choose whether the rage is a frenzy or not when he initially rages? As in, can I after 1 or 2 turns of raging just decide I want to frenzy as well and get my third attack?
>Page 10
>Prematurely
?????
Call whenever, personally if they are planning to go into a frenzy rage I let them outright or just normal rage.
Your DM played lawful good as lawful stupid, tell him a long time paladin player says he's a fag and should feel bad.
I would like to experience a good DM campaign so I can better improve as a DM myself, besides continuing to run my own campaigns. Much like a writer would read good writers' books.
Can you point me to some sessions/campaigns worth watching on youtube /5eg/?
Critical role
"Critical Role" and "Heroes and Halfwits". Two different stories, two different styles, both pretty decent.
If a combat takes more than an amount of rounds I roll on a d6, then I find a way to mix it up. Some massive accident or spell goes off and the environment is drastically changed. If possible, a third party will enter or I will randomly roll reinforcements and see how long it takes whichever side rolls them to arrive. Sometimes I literally just decide that one side has taken enough damage that they'd probably cut and run. But no matter what happens, unless the fight is really important for invisible railroad reasons, I always roll to see how many rounds a fight will go before a monkey wrench gets thrown in and I stick to it.
No matter how you feel about Acquisitions Incorporated, Jerry Holkins is doing an absolutely amazing job in the "C Team," spinoff series.
I am thinking of playing a bard, but I was planning on giving him an acolyte background and making him a preacher.
Is Lore the best college for the job? Do I still need a musical instrument or can I just chant?
I was thinking of chanting blessings for my allies, condemning my foes and making them flinch with doubt when they think about what the afterlife holds for them, sharing short sermons, etc. I am not sure what other things would fit with the theme but I will figure it out as I play.
That's a pretty cool idea. It's pretty funny to think that your party has never fought anything for more than 36 seconds without something happening, though. Round times are something a bit handwavey
I personally love the shit Adam Koebel did when DMing Stars without Numbers, where he turned the narration into more of a TV show-style experience. He would describe camera angle,s cuts, cut to NPCs who aren't there to build up anticipation and show the players how nobody is being idle, etc. I have incorporated that in my own campaigns and players have absolutely loved it as it gives them a lot more characters and stakes to care about than their own, making things look like a grander narrative. I also ripped the faction conflict system right out of Stars without number and re-fluffed it for DnD because its both a really fun between-session minigame for the DM, and a way to keep a huge world with many active stakeholders both constantly active and unpredictable.
>I am not sure what other things would fit the theme
I mean, a paladin or cleric would fit the bill fine if you just wanted a holy caster who chanted. Ain't nobody telling you a paladin or cleric can't chant.
But if you specifically mean you want to play a bard, then you've more or less got a good idea of what to do with it to fit that theme. Lore would probably be best, and only a really autistic GM would force you to use an instrument if you asked if you could just chant.
I might add another d6 or two depending on how big the groups are. But realistically speaking, most fights between really small units in close-contact with each other may well not go past half a minute before either something crazy happens or one side just decides to leg it.
I never thought about it from an in-game seconds perspective because of how much stuff can be squeezed into a round. A lot of things happen, and rounds can take a while to get through depending on the scenario. I doubt my players have ever thought of a round as explicltly 6 seconds. I know it slips my mind all the time.
I've posted this before but the only response I got was calling me a tranny,
I'm making a college of satire bard, how do I make use of the added mobility.
>Pic related
>college of satire
>still running a subclass that got rejected and never left UA
Thematically good, mechanically trash
What is the best way to include rape in my backstory, in a friendly way, I mean. Like my half-elf is the product of cute elf girl x multiple human bad boys gang rape.
just make your elf mom a huge rebel slut, and remove the rape element
Someone lied! Someone told the guard that poor Cicero is... A lady. Me?! Just because Cicero takes care of his pretty, pretty body? Oils it... Preserves it...
First step is to go play pathfinder instead
Wait, are you for real?
If so, first: ew. Second: I guess make it sort of confusing on whether or not it was actually rape. Was she gangraped, or just a total whore?
Are there any subclasses (decent homebrew included) that would make a good aerial assault type class? I want someone who can literally jump into battle kind of like an assault marine in 40k... but with magic, or just martial prowess.
Dragoon isn't quite what I had in mind. Maybe some kind of Paladin subclass?
>she got brutally raped
>got thrown to the wayside after
>gave birth to you
>left you in the care of the elven man who loved her and she would have had kids with
>then went to try to enact revenge on those who raped her
>nobody knows what happened with her after
Rape-revenge elfspoitation plots are always fun, just make sure you present it with enough drama it sound like you actually wanted it to be tragic rather that what it actually is - your magic realm.
>be squishy rogue
>next to a tanky cleric with shield and heavy armor
>cleric casts sanctuary on himself
>everybody turns on me instead
why
She was gangraped but she had it coming.
Dickass thief! Get fucked!
play fighter and get a ring of jump nigga
dragoon or dragoon-based homebrews are always shit
>Be tanky fighter
>Everybody ignores me and gangs up upon squishy casters
>Even as I am literally killing them, they would rather shoot at the wizard with their dying breath.
Does your cleric have any stickiness? Were they doing damage to justify being paid attention to, or were they just standing around in armor?
Because this guy's scenario is a GM being an asshole. That fighter has stickiness. He's killing people and pulling aggro.
Pulling aggro and being tough to kill are the two parts that are needed to work for RPG-style tanking. You need both parts to do it properly.
yeah fuck that guy for telling us about his game in the thread where we talk about that game
>>If so, first: ew
Tits or get the fuck out. Actually, scratch that, screw the tits. Just get the fuck out.
>thinks the idea of someone trying to force a rape-baby backstory is kind of gross
>must be a bitch
Get out of face with that weak shit, dude.
My party just boarded a little astral ship in the Astral Plane and we ended the session there.
How to make it somewhat interesting to handle? I was wondering whether to just make them roll to make them see if they can learn its mechanisms, or maybe drawing the control panel and making the players choose.
Nobody says "ew" except women and faggots. Regardless of which you are, you need to get the fuck out.
Put a little sand timer on the table. Whenever the sand timer runs out of sand, it's the enemy's turn next. This will encourage your players to make decisions quickly and stop fucking around on their phones. And before you say they don't do that at your table, they all do it. They just hide it under the table and you're blind.
Use it as a hook for your next weirdass campaign idea, like the chronomancers getting upset with how badly the heroes are fucking with their plans or some kind or weirdass experiment that's sure to result in a tarrasque or Spelljammers being introduced via TIME JEWS or whatever. I don't know your life, maybe you just wanna drag in some flavor you found on the Internet.
Fuck inspiration. I've given it out to my players a bunch and they always fucking forget about it. I'm not using it anymore.
Go back to /pol/
What is reminding them when it's relevant? How hard is it to say "would you like you use your inspiration?" when they seem disappointed about a roll they wanted better?
Pull a Star Wars and make them split the load. One guy helms, one guy navigates, one guy keeps an eye out for baddies, things like that.
You're trying pretty hard, dude. Maybe try to relax.
>play Bard
>every time I use Bardic Inspiration the DM forces me to come up with fitting and catchy lyrics on the spot
>reduces the inspiration die if the lyrics aren't clever enough
FUCK THIS CRITICAL ROLL MEME
has anyone ever created a made a stat sheet for Shrek?
i need one for reasons
I agree with you on the latter, but fighter with a ring of jumping seems a bit dull. If it was that I could just try and play a race with wings.
Nice bait, here's your (You)
Sounds to me like someone needs ot work on his lyrical content and flow.
If people in armor are standing up front, my DM will generally keep enemies on them
It's rare that an NPC will take an attack of opportunity to go hunt people in the back, he will usually have some of the enemies go after the ranged people from the start, he rarely switches
Our DM has printed out "Inspiration" cards and hands them out to us so it's hard to forget.
He also printed out "Metagamer" cards and if we say dumb out of character shit he hands them to us. The card makes you automatically fail the next saving throw or turns the next attack natural 20 into a 1.
Presence can be stickiness, too. If the guy is in the way to the point that a bad guy would have to expose himself to attack the squishy, then frankly speaking the NPC is being metagamed. Clever tactics should be rewarded.
I mean, I'm of the opinion that I can have the NPCs use clever tactics right back, so it evens out in the end.
Why would you ever play a game other than D&D? You can just homebrew it into any setting you want
I was talking more about the specifics of how the ship works. I guess it can be simply the ship's wheel, and a couple of buttons or levers to determine planal travel.
Damn I fucking love goodberry
do what i did and write lyrics that in someone talk about how you're sleeping with the person you're casting it on mother
For example if you're casting it on a tiefling:
>There once was a lad named (your name)
>one day he was in a tavern looking for women of which there were several
>he found himself a particular horny lass
>next thing ya know I was doing it with a devil
Your dm sounds like a retard who is full of himself. He is there to entertain players not be the disciplinary committee. This is why you should treat dms like betas who should be happy they have players to inhabit their world - otherwise they get too full of themselves and drunk on power.
Remember that the Astral Plane doesn't have a movement speed for people that are there. Instead, you move at three times your Intelligence score per round. Also, it has no air. In order for you to breathe while physically present on the Astral Plane, you have to dream that air up. It's a Charisma ability check, DC 15, in order to breathe for a minute while doing other things. Dedicating your time to dreaming up air can allow for more, but the amount is generally dependent upon the DM.
Have fun!
>be talentless
>play bard
Why would you? That’s the best part of the class. I never let players who can’t play an instrument or come up with lyrics on the spot to play bards.
You're now aware that /pol/ is under constant assault by Jews, Masons, the FBI, the CIA, every news source on the globe, lizardmen, the goons of SomethingAwful, Tumblr's various spergs, Reddit, Zuckerberg's assorted retards, and other nameless organizations and their followers. You're now also aware that /pol/acks would have no stake whatsoever in the typing style of some nobody fa/tg/uy, and thus wouldn't care.
The implication is that this is not actually someone who cares about /pol/itical matters, but a fraud who just wants to emulate their impression of a /pol/ack in order to make you hate them, too.
Because the mechanics of a class aren't fused to its maleable and even replaceable fluff, as per the devs? Also, your a fag.
Has anyone here played through Tales of Yawning Portal? A friend of mine is getting ready to run us through it as a full campaign and i'm curious if the areas are open enough for mounted combat? I was going to try and roll a fighter and go Cavalier.
Dice, Camera, Action is pretty decent if you can get past the audio being wonky at times and a couple of the players being meh at best.
Is Devotion the best Oath? Yes, yes it is.
Is the joke that you post all this delusional shit then act like it's the other guy being weird?
Experience is just TFtYP Sunless Citadel right now, as I'm playing. So far, not really.
Thinking about making a class based on controlling marionettes. What would be some fun/cool archetypes you’d like to see as players?
Well Citadel runs from 1-3 doesn't it? I wouldnt become a cavalier until lvl 3.
If you want to cast spells just play a wizard. Bards are reserved for cool kids only.
Pretty sure goodberry is just activated almonds.
>it's the other guy being weird?
>being weird
Confirmed for a vagina.
>everyone who replies to you is the same person
I don't visit /pol/. I just think shitting on a board for the retarded antics of a troll is stupid.
I wonder how many people really believe stuff like this.
All the delusional shit was in user, it would be impossible for anyone to be confused with anyone else.
So I guess everyone's over the tranny elf thing, or what?
You don't play a bard to cast spells, you play a bard to be a jack of all traits skillmonkey.
Let me guess:
You don't let a player play a wizard if they've not been to uni
You don't let a fighter play if they're not strong
You don't let a druid play if they don't recycle
You don't let a cleric play if they're an atheist
You don't let a rogue play if they don't have a criminal background
>DM says combat is the least interesting part of the game for him, and a few players agree.
>Mfw we've only had a single fight that wasn't "here's a bunch of enemies/a big enemy with a few small ones, go fucking nuts"
I'm glad I'm going to DM soon and can hopefully demonstrate that fights can be more than just pumping out higher damage numbers faster.
No one was triggered by it in the first place, Changelings have always been able to do that and afaik Kobolds are hermaphroditic.
What people are more annoyed about is instead of making changeling they just made an elf that can do it, because elves have to be able to do everything.
Yes we're fucking over it, we've been discussing it for half a goddamn week.
The people that were saying that seemed to be in the minority compared to those that were outright crying degeneracy.
It probably won't be more than a special feat or similar that's only available to elves.
When it comes down to it, it's not too much different from the warlock and druid's ability to cast alter self at will.
I don't know. I'm a little more annoyed that WotC has been seeing half the entertainment world going ballistic with making social commentary and has decided that they, too, would like to partake.
It's kind of the wrong platform and adds weird flavors, which you don't want to do with a niche, specialized product. Imagine Ben & Jerry's rolling out a ketchup ice cream for Transsexual Month, whichever one that is.
It doesn't taste right and it's jumping on a platform that has nothing to do with ice cream, goddammit.
I told you already - bards are special. Other than that I expect some things like players who are looking for/disarming traps to know how trapping mechanisms work or people who try to be persuasive/charismatic to actually possess those traits rather than being full of spaghetti. But Bard is the only class with a restriction.
This is autistic, expecting a person to be as charismatic as their character.
It's literally the same as expecting them to be as strong/dexterous/intelligent/wise as their character.
It's unrealistic.
Why would your mother ever tell you that she was gangraped and you were the product? You simply wouldn't know if you were a rape baby or not.
Now here's the only real complaint I've seen that's not wrong.
Since the elf stuff has nothing to do with transpeople or genderfluid people.
I mean, they may have been done for that reason, but it means that those elves aren't actually trans.
Since they physically change sex.
I never said AS charismatic just like I dont expect you to be Mozard when you compose songs for your bard. But you do need a modicum of charisma and knowledge of how to persuade people, otherwise you will get penalties to your rolls if you are socially autistic.
I assume you also apply penalties to all your rolls then?
My mothers rapist told me.
Do we have the sheet for the tortle race?
It's in trove, under core, tortle package.
Considering I do public speaking for a living - no. But I would never play a bard because I can't into music.
I know how to convince NPCs to offer more help when I'm evil aligned, but how do you do it when you are good aligned? I'm talking about the roleplay flavor so that it doesn't appear wicked.
sorry mate i think iam blind i dont see tortle package under the core folder
I guess, but I was simply stating that this doesn't go well with a not!Europe fantasy setting. There may be precedent for it in old legends, but they don't seem like something that you'd want to go out of your way for, in terms of writing rules and shit.
Actually, I think that's the majority of my problem with 5e so far. They spend effort in weird places and not enough of it is expanding in the direction of ADVENTURE! and LOOTING VILLAINS! and SAVING PRINCESSES! This month's Unearthed Arcana, the thing they're doing instead of pushing out splatbooks, is fluff for Duergar. You know, the race that's traditionally evil and doesn't into a PHB race in any edition because of that.
I like how loose the system is, but goddamn if I don't wish they would get someone with an actual vision for the system on this crap.
You already posted the answer in your image, user. Inspire them to be better people through your own kindness and sacrifice. Most people are NE anyway, so they will see the chance to follow you as a way to score points in their own social circles by pretending to be virtuous, but at least you can be the one light in a sea of self-interested darkness.
Because they keep moving things about, it's in modules now.
Have you tried asking politely?
"Make this interesting for me."
YP is a dungeon crawl book, yo. The only way you're having fun while mounted is as a small race.
Trapped in the birdcage just started and I found it very helpful as the DM has to deal with players with a wide variety of RPG experience, from absolute newbie on his first session to experienced veteran.
It's also Planescape.