What do they taste like?

Healing juice.

Like healing, obviously.

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Stale horse cum & ginger. Sure, tastes awful, but would you rather bleed out?

They taste like shit on purpose so people will actually use them for emergencies instead of abusing them.

>Rell was wounded on his last adventure and needed a healing potion
>6 months later he was drinking a dozen a day and sucking dick behind the inn for another hit

Wasn't there something like this about military-issued chocolate?

There is no taste but the mouth feel is jarring. As it enters your mouth, you will feel every trace of gum disease, plaque, scar tissue and bacteria evaporate. This makes your teeth feel cold and makes your tongue tingle like you just licked flavourless menthol.

When it goes down your throat you will want to gag as it evaporates your flem. Making your lungs and stomach feel over inflated.

>first healing pots made the user go into shock as the pain of having his tissue regrowing in seconds was excruciating.
>they improve the formula by adding magic opioids as painkillers
>after half the kingdom became addicted the king made potions for adventurer use only to create a loyal, addicted workforce that would clean up all the problems in the realm for pennies to get their next dose

adventurers as junkie sicarrios, sweet

MGE potions are usually semen-based, and I always assume health potions are like theirs.

>big evil guy is some evil dude trying to upset the balance of the kingdom
>adventurers get promised riches and a comfortable life if they take him out and dismantle his evil crime empire
>PCs take on the quest
>they find out that a lot of their colleagues joined the BEGs ranks
>after a couple of fights find out the BEG's scheme is making his own healing potions, breaking the government monopoly on healing potion creation and distribution
>the king tries to stop this since it would cheap drug-enslaved workforce

>Various "different" health potions
>Just a bigger variation of the early one
I hate this. I mean you don't take oxycodone for mild pain unless you're a fag.

Oil for the well buily fighting machine. Disgusting texture.

Lil whitei dicky/lil whitei ducky/medium mulatto dingus/MASSIVE NIGGER DICK
THIS IS THE ONLY TRUE ANSWER
FUCK DONALD DRAMPF & KILL WYPYPO!
#resist #blm #proudcuck #tg

Cold coffee and flat Coca-Cola.

It tastes like unoriginal, hack-fantasy nonsense to me. Who the hell includes the ability to heal by just drinking a potion and expects to be taken seriously?

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Pepto Bismol

Why not HP sauce?

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Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, sword through your stomach, diarrhea!
Hey! Healing potion!

tastes like rose petals and spoiled milk

Everybody go home, we're not getting a better answer than this one.

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Calpol. The pink kind.

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Ah yes, the laziest possible response. Pick a setting instead of wasting space with your noncomment.

Menstrual blood

Coke with Pepsi.

Dr. Pepper

Not sure about military chocolate, but American chocolate in general is supposed to have that vague sour vomit taste owing to regulations and laws passed back in the 1940s or so.

Maybe he means that German chocolate with drugs?

Semen

specifically my Semen

I think it has that taste because Americans eat shit.

>You're not supposed to DRINK it, you pour it on the affected area!
>You think I jam my fist down your throat as part of casting Cure Wounds??

>Americans eat shit
thats only when we let latinos/pajeets prepare our food for us

All the time then?

>Not casting Healing FIST to cure ulcers

youtube.com/watch?v=5QfcKP1W6EM

s...shut up...
off topic I know, but seriously its a problem.

Not precisely. Back during the recession, laws were passed to allow Hershey’s and other large dairy companies to use spoiled milk in the chocolate they produced, a cost-cutting measure. Those laws were never repealed, and now America in general is so used to it that it tastes odd for chocolate to not use that (even to the point where it is artificially given the flavour).

Well then.

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Cherry cough syrup. Off brand.

That is both interesting and a little disgusting, I wonder what would happen if someone noticed that law and decided to repeal it. Would people demand the old flavor back or like the new non spoiled milk taste?

In modern times they ferment the milk as part of the process and add butyric acid (the main ingredient in human vomit).

Its like American enjoy paying companies to fuck them over.

God Bless the Rich.

NyQuil

How is "evaporating flem(sic)" healing? Nigga you just fucked up the throat and nasal passage's capacity to resist germs and repel detritus, and presumable just flooded the sinuses with boiling gas

A gaming pub where I live sells "potions", which are just elaborate cocktails in fancy bottles.
The red one is by far the best and while the recipe is secret I am sure it contains lot of tabascus and tequila. I find it adequate as it sure does stir you up.

Strawberry kool-aid.

Tastes like krutt!

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Curse the bard who came up with that!

New idea, standard healing potions give your immune system a kick so that your body will fight off disease.
Small portion gives you the sniffles
Medium potion is cold symptoms
Large potion is flu
Extreme potion is flu on fever
The symptoms only last a short time until your body realizes there's no disease, unless there is a disease in which case the immune system does it's job.

You better not try to heal a fever with the standard potion though

Yeah this nigga gets it, taking a remedial should kick your immune system into overdrive. You experience intense immune response symptoms for like a minute, and then you're good.

So you've just been disembowelled, and you take a high strength healing potion. Your abdomen scabs up instantly, and you are physically incapacitated and dehydrated as new organs form. Keep drinking water, and after 5 minutes the great scab-plaques falls off and you have a new, albeit emaciated, torso and organs. Eat a whole chicken and the protein swiftly redistributes itself to flesh you out again,

Wall Chicken is best chicken, thank god vampires don't clear it out

this

If the setting is all moonbeams and unicorns, potions will be lovely delicacies. Wineberries and bumblebee honey.

If the setting is muddy and brutal, potions will be week-boiled garbage some lunatic brewed up. Crossroad toadstools and troll toenails.

If the setting is classic D&D, where making stuff is supposed to be hard and involve ingredient quests, ingredient lists can be inspired by Norse mythology. So kobold breast-milk and lies about shoes.

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The best thing you ever drink. Something like a bottle of water after days in the desert drinking your own piss.

Like positive energy, so it's like a rainbow exploding on your tongue. Note that this is not a pleasant experience.

>Latinos
Nigga, Enchiladas are as American as apple pie.

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>evaporating one of the four humours
>healing

Are you fucking retarded? Like seriously, do you have a learning disability? I bet next you'll make a thread claiming that spells that let you control water would let you manipulate someone's blood, in spite of the fact that blood is quite clearly the fire humour.

I think you'e replying to the wrong post there

They taste like amoxicillin. You know, that milky white shit you had to take as a kid for strep throat that was kinda tasty but kinda disgusting?
Yeah, that's the shit.

I believe you are right. My humours must be out of equillibrium, excuse me while I go leech myself, and please direct my scathing remarks to the appropriate person.

>only source is a British tabloid
Bongs talking shit again. Don't you have some Syrians waiting to culturally enrich you?

Salty milk and coins

Generally horribly herbal and tart, and very viscous. They contain concentrated minerals and proteins to allow the body to heal properly. Higher end ones have added flavorings to make them more palatable but still essentially have a mucus like consistency.

This is due to the fact that one of the major ingredients in a common healing elixir is the processed stomach lining of a troll, which is rich in hypercondensed protein packets and special restorative enzymes which help rapidly knit flesh back together. This has an unfortunate side effect for long term or large scale users, who often develop deformities or tumorous growths as their DNA is partly hybridized with that of the common bridge troll. This is why many adventurers tend to be more brutish and savage looking than they ought be.
More expensive potions use the organs of less distasteful creatures as reagents to hopefully produce less disfiguring changes, but unfortunately for many nobles there's still quite a lot of gussied up trollgut on the market under different names

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Have you drank old cough syrup? Super thick and there is a vomit taste. You're not sure if you're going to vomit or the syrup tastes like vomit but it's there.

Like "Cherry" cough syrup, and the shame of playing an all night game with other losers at a convention, because you didn't get invited to a room party.

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I wonder if you can make freezies out of them then sell it to children.

At least the space wasn't wasted on an entire topic like OP did.

Well, I know that Japan had some potions on sale a long time ago. Never got a chance to taste it though.

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>all healing potions in his setting share a single flavor
>they are all red

gamist garbage

That would be the infamous "D" ration issued to American GIs in WW2. It was only chocolate in appearance; the original request was that it taste "a little better than a boiled potato." It was intended as a lightweight, compact emergency ration. One bar was 600 calories. One whole day = three bars per person.

We didn't really figure out the actual nutritional needs of a soldier until afterwards.

I got one of those once. The mana potion too.

They're disgusting. Like cough syrup flavored sludge.

I use balms instead.
More direct-to-wound application there.

Thick "cherry" syrup that gets increasingly thick, strong, and chemical as the power goes up.

We also apparently didn't understand morale or human psych. That seems like a bad idea on so many levels

>Why do gritty settings HAVE to have bitter potions??

If anything they'd have alot of sweet food and drinks including potions
Living in a shitty hard unhappy merciless world, you'd give anything to eat some comfort food and drink

Many ppl probably eat and drink their stress and pain away

Potions probably taste like cherry or sweet red apple seltzer

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pretty nasty

Salty milk and GP

I like to think of health as pain tollerance before you pass out, so I imagine they taste like laudanum, which tastes like gin with tylenol and cocaine crushed in it

I'd say it depends on the culture making it.

A goblin's healing potion will close your wounds but may as well warrant a constitution save to ingest it.

Where an Elven or Druid's potion would probably taste like something similar to a sweet wine, an enterprising alchemist might even ferment a healing potion like wine to increase its power.

Human-made potions might taste similar to cough syrup but be masked by a stronger, more flavorful herb combination or syrup that doesn't dull its power.

An old ship's doctor might have a recipe that will leave you sputtering, but be brewed with orange peel, cinnamon, and clove to make it easier to drink.

Orc potions, though rare, always tend to taste like blood and it's a running alchemist's joke that they're more effective if taken intravenously.

A Dwarven potion might taste like foul mushrooms or akin to drinking strong alcohol and is best chased with a flagon of ale.

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That's bullshit. The main reason Brits think American chocolate (it's really just Hershey's) tastes strange is British chocolate has more fat content while American chocolate is first and foremost sugary.
t. leaf

>pouring an entire bottle of liquid into a wound
Why not in powdered form?

>Drinking potion
>Not huffing jenkem
>Not shoving the enemy's soul up your ass
>Not dancing the injury away to the bard's flabby armpit-based music

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Merican chocolate all has wax in it to keep it from melting. You've got to go to a cold all year climate to get real chocolate.

Buckleys

What is an air conditioner?