What does your PC's dream wedding look like?

The marriage is officiated by a member of the Adeptus Astartes

Depends, in the long run it'll be a small ceremony mostly because he'll have to wait until his family has passed and he is free of any obligations to them. Then probably something inna woods with the nymph he's had a crush on since he was a teen, luckily Oath of Ancients paladins don't age so he just has to be patient.

A kickass one where all my nemeses come to ruin my wedding, only to discover that my most powerful allies were invited to it. The guests and my nemeses beat the everloving shit out of each other, while I and my to-be-wife kiss after the cleric smashes a Lich's skull and tells us that we can kiss.

>And in the background an angry Keeper of Secrets tries to REEEEEE at you while Chapter Master Smashfucker smashes it's face with his Thunder Hammer.

nonsense, spider girls are very doting

Her dream wedding would involve her father's permission and he'd rather burn the groom-to-be-alive than let her marry someone who may potentially not be good enough for her.

Having an adoptive dragon dad is hard, guys.

On an only semi-related note, if Crusaders/Paladins/whatever get their strength from God/the Gods,are Crusaders/Paladins/whatevers the least-susceptible class to complaints about 'muh wimmin whorierz' or accusations that "women being as competent as men in a fight is bullshit"? Being given divine strength by your Patron Deity seems like a good defense against such tomfoolery.

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I'm pretty sure you can't marry Justice itself.

>tfw this argument came about because gods bestow battle powers on men only

It's OK, Justice is blind, so user still has a chance.

Who hurt him and what was her name?

What do they bestow on women then?

Obviously the solution is for him to invent gender equality.

We did this in a Ladyknights thread. All the gods were female granting blessings and miracles to women warriors.

Let's just hope he can push for female suffrage before the lich fucks all of humanity over.

Id find it delirious if I’m his search for female companionship he both singlehandedly brought about equality for women, and either through the added manpower or some trick of fate it manages to save the world.

*hilarious I mean.

His dream wedding would be his dead son getting married. Unfortunately his only remaining child is a daughter that ran off to be a lesbian with a filthy subdwarven elf.

As for my unrelated elf, it would probably be a quiet ceremony in a wooded glen. Just friends and family, no orgies or anything.

Running away into the woods to hold a modest ceremony with a small gathering of close friends.

>lesbian with a subdwarven elf
Elaborate.

With the Cleric tied up in a chair while a yandere angel forces the priest to perform the marriage ceremony at knifepoint.

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Not many people would have met any, so a few ominous words is enough to make people doubt about how brutal spider matrimony may be and hide my character awkwardness.

It was a small subplot a while ago, dwarf is from barak varr. Essentially he and his daughter never got on, she rebeled by joining a privateers ship and then eventually fucked off with an elf lesbo.

Is subdwarven a common insult?

Not really, its just something I threw in because it feels suitable that a dwarf considers dwarfkind to be the superior race/perfection. So rather than subhuman, subdwarven.

Sounds like a fun guy at parties.

No one, he was just raised that way.
So his mom I guess.

Imagine going through the trouble of courting and marrying a succubus thinking you're gonna have wild bacchanals every night and then it turns out all she ever wanted was to be a loving doting housewife that genuinely enjoys asking about your day and cooking you dinner. She even put on a few pounds after the wedding.

It'd be like marrying a porn star and she prefers cuddling over anything else.

how can you not want a qt3.14 housewife? I bet she'll even be a loving mother!

>Implying she wouldn't be up for both
Also nothing wrong with what you described.

He's just a typical warhammer dwarf, really. Old, gruff, loyal to a t. Has a sense of humour by dwarf standards. WH dwarfs, especially the older generation are racial supremacists even if they are friends to humans.

Sweet Moses I just noticed that filename.

What witchcraft is this?

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Add red skin and horns

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Source?

Look, if the Apocalypse has already happened, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and make gay marriage legal

God, I’m imagining someone trying to make that argument to the one group of neonazis that inevitably survived.

If literally 50% of post-apoc fiction has taught me anything it's that a) yes, the neo-nazis and skinheads survive and b) when you run into them, it's probably best to shoot first

user that sounds great

Your favored fetish fuel of course. Unless your fetish is amazons.

Such a shame the amazons only ever appear as barbarians. For all the ladyknight threads, we never see any amazonian ladyknights.

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Why don’t the gods bestow women abs and tallness?

I like Greco-Roman flavored Amazons. It’s a good way to fit in swords and sandals elements.

We barge into an existing wedding, incapacitate/fight off the guards, and then impersonate the bride and groom.

Everyone encourages us and the unknowing priest marries us.

Best thing is, my PC's not a bard, expert, trickster, rogue, anything like that- he's an erudite. He just likes to have a fun time.

She's a tiefling descended from daemons of death traps and torture devices. Her anatomy is... not conducive to healthy romance. Not for her partner anyway.
So she put any ideas of romance away years ago.
But now her mentor's daughter is hitting on her and suggesting magical solutions to at least have a human form.
A bit awkward since someone being attracted to her, determined and supportive is really nice, but also she thinks of this girl like a younger sister.
If thigs everdid get to the point of marriage, likely to go for a big expensive one. No, bigger. Enchanted everything. White, silver and crystal everywhere. Huge guest list. Looks like somethig from a shojo manga. That sort of wedding.

She would want her stepfather to walk her down the aisle. She never appreciated how much of a dad he was until she met her biological father. If this could happen, if she could take it all back, make amends? Who knows, her life might have a sliver of normalcy left. Glass eyes notwithstanding.

bump

A barely noticed common law marriage between a cyborg and their upjumped systems AI.

Probably nothing for my players as they are that isn't the main guy and gal getting shotgun wedlocked to a snake god they both are in sex with, but they're already all eager for the marriage of two NPCs they like a lot, and said wedding is actually going to happen in a time-broken holy field right before the grand finale.

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Like a usual Indian wedding, but extra lavish.

She would be the priest, probably to someone from her traveling party.

That sounds great. Now I'm sad, miss my wife.
>implying it can't be both, housewife and kinky

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>She even put on a few pounds after the wedding

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Damn.

She would have to work really hard to conceive of a situation where she could married. If she could, it would be to a gentle, chivalrous lady-knight who would protect her and take care of her as she slept, who wouldn't be afraid of what she was and would trust her not to become possessed or run away to her mother.

It would be a small, quiet handfasting ceremony, in a quiet, DRY, wooded glade with wildflowers and her small group of friends, along with her dame's family, if they would attend. A kind, elderly priest or priestess would wrap their hands in the silken cord, and present them with their rings (she would make her dame's ring, and enchant it mightily with protections and guardian spells), and they would step over the kngith's sword, cementing their bond in eternity. there would be cider and fruit and maybe even cakes, and elven music to be played.

She doesn't think about such things. Her familiar tells her she's a fool.

Im playing a Westboro Baptist Church setting and that was the cause of the Apocalypse.

She doesn't believe in weddings or marriage, but if the party's eight foot tall female druid wanted to cuddle, well, she'd be all about that.

Something small and private. Huge, grandiose affairs are for people with too much money and take away from the money that should be going towards funding the honeymoon.

Is the Druid a giant or something?

Firbolg.

My character is a goblin wizard with a rogue dip.

>Human Street Samurai from Japan
>Elven Mage from Tir Tairngire

It'd probably be a small, private affair. Just them and their families. The ceremony would be held in a church but be a mixture of Shinto and traditional western aesthetics. The street samurai is a tomboy and would try to wear a groom's tux. Her mother would definitely force her into a Japanese kimono upon threat of death. They'd meet each other half way with a male kimono. She'd definitely keep her sword at her hip regardless of the outfit. The elf would probably prefer a traditional western wedding gown.

You say this like it isn't the best thing ever conceivable.

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They are cruel without compare.
#Kratosdidnothingwrong2018

It was, despite his fame, held in his small hometown. A pretty normal wedding ceremony with family and friends present, in a church. Had a pretty big reception though. Lots of food and dancing. Yeah, I know, normal.

Happened in the epilogue of the game so the GM couldn't throw a monster of the week at us during it.

My character is essentially just Bertie Wooster, so his ideal wedding is one he can scheme his way out of while not angering his aunt.

>bertie wooster
What class would he be? Obviously he would have WIS 0, CHA 18

I made him a swashbuckler, and I had to up his basic competency a bit since having a Jeeves in the campaign would obviously be OP.

A large portion of his family's there, with more filtering in in various states of dress.
Notably not his father - the father has commandeered the kitchen to make his renowned three-meat-four-cheese lasagne since the reception menu had no mention of pasta.
The sea captain had to be called in since none of the priests could calm their respective god down enough to preside over the ceremony in the brand new church.
Someone's gone and stolen a stardust generator from this one world he had a brief stint as an exterminator so there would be a clear starry night.
As the couple walk from the altar, he catches a ten pound sack of rice thrown by the swashbuckler who crashed the wedding despite having an invitation.
It's also a village opening ceremony, so they cut the ribbon at the gates with a pair of swords.
It's also also abouts seven housewarming parties back to back, so they'll have to postpone the honeymoon.

It makes sense in context, okay.

But that's amazing what is wrong with you?

He clearly has some hang ups about virgins.

It would be after he retires to a goblin town with his childhood friend. The party, a wizard they made friends with, possibly his peers at the monastary he left if his excommunication wasn't taken personally, along with the brides massive family. The officiator would probably be the town judge, though with everything the party has done the chief himself might do it.

must be a browser side thing

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His dream wedding? Probably a double wedding where the paladin settles down with the princess, and the assassin is reunited with her lover. It'll last for three days in the only capital city that isn't burning, flooded, or underground.

Oh, you meant for him?
No, that's alright. He doesn't have anyone like that.
He just wants to see his friends happy.

He's not allowed to get married.
Or have sex.
Or be in any romantic relationships.

If you don't want to lovingly cuddle with a plump succubutt housewife after giving her a tender kiss at the front door after a long day's work, then you need to get the fuck out of Veeky Forums, because you are not welcome here.

He wants the wedding to double as a reintroduction of his beloved to the world. She's done many horrible things to countless people, and done it all out of sheer malice and pleasure. Out of all the people in the world, only he was able to see the good in her, and he wants to show her that evil itself is not all that she is. It's in her nature to resist, of course, but he persists and gains her trust. Eventually, she sees him as less of an annoyance and more of a pet, then a companion, then ultimately as an equal. Through his sheer kindness and devotion to her, she begins to question her own morality, and after some internal and external drama she admits that she wants to be good, and that she wants to be good with him. When they wed, the world will see that the once vile evil that plagued their world is reformed, and with his help they will begin the arduous trials that come with atonement.

Her name is Lamashtu.

Current PC? Having a wedding at all, because it'd mean he's finally a free man.

Major NPCs from my current campaign?
>One would want to be with a nice prince or something, and she'd want to not be an infertile near-zombie for it. Lots of flowers and art and stuff.
>One is currently under someone's spell, but finds that person repugnant enough to mostly resist. So, at the moment, they want no wedding.
>One wants their mother to marry someone nice, and to be happy. Preferably with all of their relatives there, because they're never around.

>TFW vore

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...tell me more.

He may be your father, girl, but he ain't your daddy.

Well, he'd want a quiet civil ceremony with just his friends (the party and a few notable NPC's) and his immediate family. Granted, since he's a king, and a rather well loved king at that, almost everyone at the capital city is gonna crash the wedding, just like they did his birthday. Honestly, he doesn't mind that much.

Dying while standing for good and hoping he's done enough good in his life to be reunited with his wife and daughter in the afterlife

>be me
>Cleric in service of God
>mortally wounded after fending off an Orc raid from destroying the village under my care
>bleeding out in the grass, I pass out
>wake up in a bed, leg healed, in an unknown location in a dark room
>a pair of glowing eyes stares at me from the corner
>out from the shadow walks an angel, looking at me tenderly and sitting on the bed next to me
>she explains that she was my guardian angel
>although it interfered with God's plan a bit, she couldn't bear to see me die like that
>she says she'll take care of me and keep me safe from any more nasty plans Heaven or Hell might have for me
>that's when I notice the chain restraining my foot to the bed

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Too fetishistic to describe in good taste.

Now I want to know the back story on that picture. How did this man manage to (summon) marry a succubus?

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Might as well roll with it, then. Making it illegal again won't un-end the world.

There's lots of hand holding and eye contact, isn't there?

Bungo would be as shitfaced as he normally is, but I don’t think he’d find anyone he could settle down with nor would he even want to

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>the neo-nazis and skinheads survive
>FFA murderfest over limited resources
>orderly, militaristic group of strong aggressive motherfuckers with an unifying goal prospers
golly gee who woulda thought

Because you ate that fucking apple

You realize they survive in the form of warboys from Mad Max right? Idiots glorifying the same values and practices that caused the nukefest?

I didn’t. Adam and Eve did. Why should I be punished with the lack of tall muscle girls for actions I had no input in? That’s awfully arbitrary.