The sultan and his harem have fallen under the influence of a secretive gyrovague with radical ideas. The nobles conspire against this influence, and plan to murder the itinerant despite a prophecy which says the empire shall surely fall if they do so.
How would your party resolve this situation?
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NO. STOP. THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. IF I HAVE TO SEE ONE MORE FUCKING THREAD ABOUT "A SULTAN AND HIS HAREM" I'M GONNA LICK MY OWN FOOT
Lick your foot, if you're so great.
you're*
The answer is always: rape the maids.
Even Sakura Fish was banned OP.
Haremposting is the dullest bait in the history of bait threads. Each thread following the sultan and his concubines from his harem as they get (You)s has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the sexy imagery, the thread’s only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of setting, all to make magic unmagical, to make intrigue seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when OP vetoed the idea of losing his virginity; he made sure the bait would never be mistaken for a quality thread that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable (you)s for his bait. The Sultan Harem threads might better than quests (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Veeky Forums thread in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the first thread was good though
"No!"
The writing was dreadful; the ideas were terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time character art was posting, the OP posted a lazy >greentext "to encourage discussion".
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that pattern was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. OP's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that he has no other style of posting. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Sultan Harem threads by the same user. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these newfags are reading harem threads on Veeky Forums, then when they get older they will go on to post /d/." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Sultan Harem" threads you are, in fact, trained to post /d/
Punch the itinerant in the cunt and tell her to stop if she doesnt want it to happen again.
Punch the nobles in the dick and tell them to stop being idiots and fucking with prophecy.
Then punch the Sultan in the schnoz and tell him to start solving his own problems and stop outsourcing to random strangers.
why not punch sultan in the dick too?
>Aside from the sexy imagery
Wait, there was sexy imagery? Pray, tell, where is this supposed sexy imagery to be found? Inquiring minds wish to know.
I actually really like the sultan harem threads, please continue OP.
I guess we kill the nobles, and the gyrovague.
Oh god, replying to bait with stale pasta. Will wonders never cease.
I'm not alone them, I actually like them too.
You are a cuck and this thread is what's killing Veeky Forums
dudes got a harem
you punch him in the dick youre not just punishing him but all the other girls whove done nothing wrong
nah its not
weve had shit threads forever and weve had twits like you saying they were "killing Veeky Forums" since forever too
the only thing thats changed is the meme shit we have threads about and even that has gone full circle with that one guy posting a Katana thread of all things
>gyrovague
keep it up guys, I keep learning new words.
>Nobles
Who the fuck do you think we are? Some collection of flea bitten smelly western barbarians with their crummy little fiefs set up like a slum protection racket. Begone with you!
Truly we live in the darkest timeline. Sakurafish was an icon of /a/
Nice
I agree. Every day, until we loved it.
I kill the sultan and institute parliamentary democracy.
You know the rules.
Hountengeki thread?
I got you, friend
More janissaries.
Go to the neighboring land and ask them if they want to eat popcorn while we watch this train wreck play it through a scrying mirror.
Is it just me, or does the Sultanate seem to have a new crisis every day?
Its actually the vizier making up all these random scenarios to entertain the sultan
He's a pretty needy guy.
I'll admit it, this is starting to make me chuckle
this is why this is best option
otherwise we need to start a revolution up in this Sultanate
Quality posting
I slaughter the sultan, his harem, the city, the military, and anyone who makes these threads.
>Find milk of human kindness.
By making you fight with the guns in fantasy guy for our amusement
>Scheherazade becomes the vizier
Yoink
Punch the nobels. Keep punching them until they yeld.
Also is the gyrovague female? If so, then seduce her. Just to be safe.
is this the beginning of a new copypasta
>new
It's an older copypasta, and someone's done some tinkering to it and dragged it over from /tv/, but it checks out.
archive.4plebs.org
I unironically love these threads now. Thanks OP.
What is there to love? Hurr I unironically love shitposting? Are you fucking retarded?
>gyrovague
Yeah, it's like 'Increase your word power' in Reader's Digest.
Nah, he's just telling the Sultan tales because he wants to marry him.