Russian dwarfs

> Dwarves didn't have alcohol except for a very soft and mild mead, before they met humans. Now dwarven royal authorities enforce strict policies on strong alcohol which has become a disaster in the dwarven kingdom, and some dwarven alchemists illegally sell strong alcohol as a medical tincture also known as vodka
> there is an autonomous region of dwarven kingdom that has its own military democratical means of ruling, its own army, the right to incorporate all refugees from the dwarven king or elsewhere who are then protected from legal persecution. This coutry is a vassal of dwarven king but has the right to wage its own wars whenever appropriate
> dwarven king is actually a representative elected by dwarven people for life (or until dwarves dislike his politics) to decide the country's external politics, budget, and other such issues.
> dwarven queens actually may both reign and rule. They also absolutely love sex and sometimes have whole harems of their "favorites"
> there are remnants of ancient dwarven religion everywhere throughout the culture that modern dwarves loathe, but don't remember why exactly, and don't remember much else about the times the old faith was around.

> A charlatan that poses as a miracle worker and fucks half the nobility?
Yep, boring. It's another take on "Bad Church" and "Evil Priests", and this shit is already overused and boring by itself. But it also is the first thing you're thinking, if you're finding a way to alter dwarfs.
What's more, if you don't want to go full-GALAG mode, there must be some reasons why there isn't full-scale revolt on the streets. And mind-altering secret, or not-so-secret, police is a way to go.
>Yuri has so much Rasputin in him, that he could be his gay lover
That actually is a funny idea.

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My dwarves usually have different accents depending on where they from, it’s a little like this

North - Eastern European accent
Western - Scottish
Southern— French
Eastern - White American

Apply as necessary because these are from different epochs. Also, USSR dwarves:
> isolationist and hostile to other kingdoms, however absolutely against racism of any sorts
> actually managed to do feminism right and not overdo it, although just half a century ago it was one of the most patriarchal countries in the region (except that one military democratical enclave that was oftentimes ruled by women while cuckold dwarven men were absent at wars)
> new ruler denies being a king, calls the dead king an oppressor, is meanwhile more oppressive than any king. When this ruler dies, the next ruler calls him a terrible oppressor despite serving under his comand and causing the worst cases of oppression
Yeah, USSR dwarves are terrible dystopia and cannot be discussed without /pol/ somehow, even mildly, involved.

>cannot be discussed without /pol/ somehow, even mildly, involved
Well, can any fantasy government, based on some historical prototype?

Yeah, but just a sprinkel of /pol/ helps the setting sometimes, just don't go overboard with it.

Equal rights for all, but you need to follow the doctrine or you go into some gu... I mean... "correction center" so you can learn to live with others.

I would also incorporate the idea that the old clans were destroyed by the reformation of the state.

Yeah, but those tropes have ties in the real world, i.e. Rasputin. But I get what you're saying.

As for the church and the priests... Have some more ( cont'd)
> modern dwarven religion is undergoing a schism. A group of dwarven oligarchs, merchants, and priests, seek to reform the church to make it similar to the human religion
> another group of dwarven priests led by the high priest want to change dwarven religion so that it's more like the elven religion. This leads to several minor civil wars, secret societies forming in distant caves and in surface kingdoms, many dwarven priests committing suicides, others executed, and dwarven high priest going hermit.

Some other ideas:
> a dwarven prince who is half-human and very tall for a dwarf is loved by his parents so much they actually build a whole township for dwarven boys to play with him. Later those dwarven boys become elite royal guard known as "toy squadron"
> This dwarven prince grows up and leaves to the surface for a few years. As he comes back, he introduces concepts uncommon for dwarven culture before, such as smoking, coffee, surface fashion, and shaving.
> proceeds by forcibly shaving his immediate subordinates and introducing a beard tax for the nobility - the longer the beard the higher the tax
> also fights the corruption in his government by introducing a medal for thievery. Medal for thievery is made of lead, very large and heavy, and must be worn to every public event by everyone it's issued to.

That's... a massive mash-up, i must say.
So you're basically taking some historical points, and change "russian" to "dwarf"?

Yes.

Neat. Lemme try
>As dwarfs mostly live on/in/under the mountains, they have quite few ways to sail overseas and establish colonies.
> So they start sending expeditions to surrounding lands, where goblin tribes live. Thees were harsh lands, coverd in thick and cold forests.
>Instead of wiping out goblin tribes, dwarfs conquered them(and that was not an easy task) and integrated them into empire. Not just obtaining colonies, but expanding their rule.

Yes.
> Also, the aforementioned half-dwarf king does a couple of successful war campaigns and captures a couple of seaside areas.
> Learns ship-building from humans and makes a new port on the surface his colony
> dwarves build the first submarine. It' not very successful though, so the project is forgotten
> The half-dwarven king also introduces the first dwarven museum
> His successor, the slutty dwarven queen, kills her political opponents to occupy the throne
> proceeds to capture surface territories near the southern seas, which costs her conflicts against several human and orc kingdoms
> moves the elves living in those places to older dwarven colonies created by her predecessor and frees them from military service. Many elvs die from diseases and famine. The dwarven word for "weak faggot" from then on is the elven word for "seaside elf"
> destroys the autonomous military dwarven enclave, makes all its people her subordinates rather than an autonomy, but allows them to settle in the newly captured surface lands thus getting a free boost to military influence and economy
> builds a new dwarven museum in her predecessor's capital, it's the biggest dwarven museum there is. Also, builds an art gallery next to it.
> Also, invites human scientists to boost sciene. Suddenly, there is that one dwarven miner who goes to her majesty's university, then to a few other unis in human kingdoms, and then outshines them all, starting a revolution in science
> also, her slutty majesty takes away the freedom of independent dwarven peasants and miners as sheir lands are given to the nobility along with the inhabitants.

I sense a magic realm hidden here...

Which exactly sounds like a magical realm to you?

Reference to Frederick the Great of Prussia?

No, actually to Peter the Great of Russia

Feinstein would hold hearings on the harm DnD was causing to the children.

The shipbuilding and shaving beards, I see it now. Frederick of Prussia had a thing for tall soldiers though, I guess this would be reversed for dwarves or not; half-dwarf regiments could be a thing: 1.6m, bearded and broadly built.

Fucking reality is copying itself. Again! I swear to God, history is one shit story with lazy writing.

Actually, the half-dwarf thing is because Peter the Great was extremely tall and slim. And although he travelled Europe in secret and studied in European academies as an ordinary Russian guy, everyone probably knew he was a prince because of his height.

Rasputin is way more interesting imo if you play him straight, not a charlatan but a slightly loony holy man from bumfuck nowhere who can really heal and help the emperor's son, but he's also a completely boorish oaf who can't resist a woman and most other than the imperial family resent him and his position of influence that he really doesn't use with any malice but tries to help the best he can, only it breeds more and more resentment and his enemies slander his name

Love it. It's mine now.

Fritz' father was the guy with the large soldiers. You're a generation off.

>bigger mustaches
>vodka instead of beer
>bear mounts instead of goat or boar
>slightly different leg based jigs
>would have appreciation for elf ballet
>can pierce a man's skin by spitting sunflower seeds at him

I feel like dwarf leg proportions would be really difficult to squat with properly.

KANGS

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Don't forget the Russian obsession with mushrooms

I just like the idea of Dwarven and Elven !Russian mobs going at each other for control

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I've often thought that dwarfs and vampires would work well together in a symbiotic relationship underground, what are Russian vampires like?

Dwarves don't appreciate vampires and necromancers distubring their ancestor's tombs and messing with the spirits of the departed. They'd probably go chop down some sacred trees to mass-produce stakes, pissing off the wood elves in the process.

Nothing would change. Celts and Slavs are brotherly nations.

But user, just think of the possibilities! A vampire could be a living ancestor, who had voluntarily taken on a great burden for the benefit of the clan. Darkvision, superior strength and senses, magical powers, and guarding his mortal kin while they sleep in exchange for a horrible thirst, but that can be held in check by famous dwarven stubbornness and donations from grateful kindred, who have the constitution to survive semi-regular blood loss. I think it really works

That sound like some df FUN.

Interesting concept, though I imagine they'd go after elves for blood. A dwarven tomb would also be one of the safest places for a vampire to sleep if guarded by his clan.

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They would also be good weapons and scouts against goblins and other underground-dwelling enemies, on which they could sate their bloodlust. They don’t breathe, so they can explore flooded and gas-filled caverns. And they provide an opportunity for dying dwarves to continue service to the clan and hold.

Plus, all the above can be reasonable excuses for an NPC dwarf king to give when horrified adventurers discover the dark secret of Clan Vrykus, or entirely accepted and well-known aspects of mundane dwarf life, depending on what the GM feels like doing

Among other things, this.

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their iron-willed determination will be replaced with iron willed resignation to the course of things.

This. They would still be stoic, but in a different way. Dwarves are stubborn, Slavs are resigned. They accept that their fates are bound to be miserable. Also replace axe with Berdiche. Replace ale with Vodka. Instead of Thane's they have Boyars. These boyars rule settlements mostly by their own decree, but also pay homage to the Tzar, typically by supplying troops in the form of Rotas, crops, Goats, or other valuables.

Their neighbors would be the (mostly) pacified descendents of fierce savage gnomes who came riding dire weasels out of the steppes. They would form very rowdy but very effective irregular militias for the Tzar.

>Russian Dwarves
Slav=Elf
>factionated tall skinny near-immortal fucks who just won't die out and can pull armies out of their ass but never appear in more than a village or half-empty city
Dwarf=Jew
>insular reclusive wealthy educated culture constantly paranoid about being attacked, stubborn and grudgy

SCOTSMAN thank you very much!

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>So..*CLANG*... another wave..
>*CLANG* *chop* *SCREEEeeeeee
>Another wave from oblivion *CLANG*
>Another day defending a cave already stripped of its value a decade ago *CLANG*
>Another beardling, died for a tunnel we should have collapsed an year ago *CLANG*
>Another day in the mire.

>Irishman
You mean Scotsman, or occasionally Northern English/Yorkshire.

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>It's another take on "Bad Church" and "Evil Priests"
Rasputin is of a different archetype. "Bad Church/Evil Priests" are collective images, they refer to a group, an institutionalised hierarchical corruption that preys on the bottom.
Rasputin was not a part of the group. Yes, he was (was?) a priest, but he was always his own creature. And he started from the bottom, from the lowest stratum of the church hierarchy. He is the bottom corrupting the top, not top corrupting the bottom.

So, depending on how seriously you want to present him, he's more of a "Mad Prophet" or "Scoundrel Commoner", not "Corrupt Church".

Squats.

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Yup... That sounds like us.

If you look at Balkan slav literature you notice resignation and despair dripping out of it.

"Boj na poziralniku" and "Hlapec janes in njegova pravica" are quite good examples of that.

Why not real life dwarves, like east asians?

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I could see it now
>vampires become an epidemic in the dwarven crypts
>the RussDwarven King Adidas the Squatting musters a group of his finest axedwarfs to cut down trees and make stakes to put a stop to this
>said axedwarfs get drunk on cheap vodka, hold the map upside down and start logging elven trees instead, starting an all-out war
>the vampires are all very confused, but not as confused as they were when they found out what most of the mausoleum's coffins looked like

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HEH!

I feel like we'd see a lot more women but in general we'd see dwarven society be a lot grittier and backstabby than before, maybe still a fun clan system but more inter-family disputes. like, ALOT MORE.

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>Potato famine
>All used to make vodka

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Why do Slavs despair? Every Slav land has been ruled by non-Slavs and Communists who try to suppress Slav culture, and many are poor, but you have beautiful countries and women, strong men, a rich sense of humour, hearty food, developed glutes, and good literature. You have a lot to be happy about!

Society is judged by elder dwarf women

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>Ruined
Well, you could say that... Or look at it as a stepping stone towards a free country.

And believe me, when you read some shit we wrote on the Balkans you FEEL the despair and acceptance. The other half if ether partisan books of shenanigans that were commissioned by the JNA/Party.

And, in the end, like you said yourself
>ruined by non-Slavs and Communists who try to suppress Slav culture

Doberdob - WW1, thrown into the war they don't want by the Zar + hate in the Balkans
Hlapec Jernej - a serf want to get his "pension" and is being told by everyone, that he's a serf and nothing more
Krst pri savici - a pegan decides to loose his identity for love
Visoska kronika - a guy is crippled by guilt and almost lets a girl die, when she's convicted as a withch

Movies? You can only get black comedies or dramas that deal with our troubled past out of us.

youtube.com/watch?v=P3QLfyKY-bM
youtube.com/watch?v=3_7fYTObkrw
youtube.com/watch?v=Q_zQZrdXA4g
youtube.com/watch?v=ZwozSLas8DM

Boj na požiralniku - A farmer "fights" with the harsh land for his family and crops and gets shafted by everyone

I could go on an on. There are some exceptions of that ( Vladimir Bertold , Marija Jurić Zagorka ), but if you look at our literature you just have this feeling of despair, fighting with their identity and past. No wonder Slovenians are in the top when you look at suicides per capita.

Pada vlada

lyricstranslate.com/en/pada-vlada-goverment-falling.html#ixzz5AZ68aer8

Bajaga i Instruktori - Pada Vlada (English translation)
Artist: Bajaga i Instruktori
Song: Pada Vlada
Translations: English #1, #2, Portuguese, Russian
English translation
The Goverment is falling
Versions: #1#2
I'm follwing you with an arrow in my hand
one second i see you other one i don't
your shadow is white

one night dark night
i will meet you without a moon on the sky
i will meet you and kill you
like a rabbit

Falling star is falling
The gray eagle is falling
my smile is falling
and snow falls before christmas

a man falls after a few drinks
a tired soul is falling
and night falls when it's dusk

it's falling it's falling it's falling
what's falling? the goverment is falling
many of them falled before
and so will you my dear

it's falling it's falling i'ts falling
it's falling it's falling it's falling
what's falling?, the goverment is falling
it's falling it's falling it's falling
what's falling? the goverment is falling
many of them fell before
so will you
x2

And let's not forget the "Serbian movie" (which is kinda shit, even thou some people think it's "deep" )

I miss the Romanovs..

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He said "ruled", not "ruined".

Dwarves in denial.

Well... I guess I need eyeglasses...

Still, we're depressed people. Just look at Melania.

But I need to say, I'm starting to like the idea
>Tsar ruling family
>Boyars rule settlements mostly by their own decree, but also pay homage to the Tzar
>Rasputin character - played straight, mad monk that has stumbled himself into high society and is hated by clergy and the people
>Using cave fungus for vodka
>Secret Okrana police that is regularly misused and keeps extensive tabs on everyone
>Elite army core, but has the bulk conscripted from hardy farmers
>Battle babushkas
>Has 2 gods, the goddess of the forge and the god of winter

+

>Impending revolution of dwarfs that exchange one "nobility" for another
>Lenin with a stylish beard and his cruel successor Staljin
>Removal of the old faith, killing of the priests that are accused of supporting the old regime
>A royal survivor

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youtube.com/watch?time_continue=115&v=mN3z3eSVG7A

Tolkein Dwarves are basically revanchist bolshevik jews who want to retake their sacred homelands. The Irish/Scottish shit is purely warcraft schlock.

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This. USSR was Jewish and universalist, not Russian.
Modern oligarchy is also Jewish

I like Feudal Japanese dwarves better.

Brilliant. Only thing that could make him better would be that he has survived 37 assassination attempts. Not including poisoning because the chef is French so how could you tell?

dwarves are best described by what alcohol they drink
>german beer dwarves
>russian vodka dwarves
>hick moonshine dwarves
>mexican tequila dwarves

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>Japanese sake dwarves.

You get Zoltan. Literally looks like an average russian, but shorter.

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