>the players sit around a table in a tavern, conversing and spending their recent spoils on some fancy drink
>the door of the tavern flies open
>all patrons turn around towards it
>a hobgoblin stands in the doorway, takes two steps forward, then falls face forward on the floor, with two arrows sticking out of his back
How does YOUR current DM describe this scene to your group?
How do YOU as a DM describe this scene to your players?
>describes simple ten-second scene for a minute in elaborate detail, starting with "as you"
>uses over the top fancyful terminology with every other phrase used ironically to the point where it's hard to determine whats actually happening
man, wasted numbers
My take would be something like this:
You're taken by surprise as the tavern door slams open violently. The patrons in this establishment turn their heads as usual, but their common disinterested glance is replaced by alarm - a hobgoblin stands in the doorway, armor-clad, wide-eyed and trembling. Before you can react, he takes two shaky steps forwards and falls face first on the ground with a loud noise. From his back protrude two long arrow shafts, and his blood is starting to seep onto the floor. What do you do?
>666.666 get by HURRDURRMERCER
my current DM probably:
>So you're sitting around, right, and the door to the tavern flies open and there's this hobgoblin, just standing there, before he falls over, and he has two arrows sticking out of his back.
Do you have a player spot open in your campaigns?
>this is the face of Double Satan
>pic
Top civilized, based Clark
>How do YOU as a DM describe this scene to your players?
"The door suddenly flies open! A hobgoblin topples forward into the room, two arrows protruding from his back."
>How do YOU as a DM describe this scene to your players?
Twice because at least one of the players will be on their phone and ask me to repeat myself
Not in a game right now, but I'll use the last DM I had
>last DM:
"Okay, so while you're all busy, THIS-"
>produces picture of probably some kind of meme celebrity badly edited and shows everyone
"-guy walks in, and the room gets quiet. He falls over with a loud THUD and you see several arrows out of his back."
>me
"A-all right, you guys are having fun and all, you continue to (action) and then, well, what you hear is the door slam open. The other people in the bar, the other patrons, they all look over, and your eyes trace their line of sight to that doorway, I guess you didn't take the sound as seriously but if everyone else is looking you're taking a look."
>start laughing nervously
"Uh, you do look, right?"
>they say yes of course
"Well, you see this little hobgoblin fellow, he's a little small for a hobgoblin, a funny little small baby, but you can tell he's just a midget. He's got a really nice looking belt, I mean, he probably shined it before walking in and if it wasn't so short you might think you wanted a belt like that for yourself. And his face has a kind of... empty expression."
>there's a pause
>cut off the next person to try to say an action
"Well, actually, uh... He stands for a few seconds, until he collapses and you see the, uh, there's some arrows in his back."
I'm not a great DM.
>How does YOUR current DM describe this scene to your group?
foreveradm.gif
>How do YOU as a DM describe this scene to your players?
[slam hand on the table] THE DOOR FLIES OPEN AND A HOBGOBLIN STUMBLES IN AND DROPS DEAD WITH TWO ARROWS IN HIS BACK
>How do YOU as a DM describe this scene to your players?
>So you are in the tavern, sitting there drinking. You are drinking, right? *break just long enough for player to consider answering that, but short enough to interrupt them* So anyway, the door slams open and there is this hobgobling looking thing... not just looking like, an actual hobgoblin, standing there. And he slams on the floor, face first *hand motion to mimic the fall*.
>Oh, and also, you notice that he has arrows stuck on his back. Almost forgot.
>my cousin Vinny DM's on weekends
I wish
My DM:
>So the door opens and someone falls over with some arrows in their back
While we're investigating him:
>Oh and it's a hobgoblin
kek
>"Tell us, tell us again about 'da bandit wit' da' two peg legs!" Roars the Orc as the whole table erupts into drunken laughter.
>"Alright, alright. So Boris and I were..."
You're cut off by the sound of the tavern door slamming against the wall. A cold draft blows in as you turn and see a shrouded figure standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. His gnarled, bottle-green face is illuminated by the gently flickering candles and the roaring hearth. All conversations taper to an end as the figure limps in, and collapses falls to a heap front of the bar. Sticking out of his back, just below the left shoulder, are two tired-looking arrow shafts. The tavern goers look on as the bar is filled by the sound of thunder and rain from the deluge outside.
Oh, and if I was ever the player here's how the various other players would describe it while DMing
>You're sitting at the bar, and the door opens. A goblin steps in and falls over, and he has arrows in him
>You're in a tavern and a goblin walks in, then he falls on the floor
>As you sit in the tavern, stashing around the last of your whiskey, you hear the door fly open. When you turn around, you see a hunched goblin fall to the ground and drag himself in before he stops twitching in a pool of blood.
>Uhh, so you find a dead goblin on the tavern floor and you're not sure what killed it
>A goblin kicks open the door and starts screeching, then rushes the barmaid em with a knife before two arrows fly through the open door behind him and land in his back
>you all start the evening strong as the drinks in your cups. Guldurr, the bar maiden made a nice infusion with elderberreries in your ale since you helped her out. About an hour in, there’s a sudden burst of noise as the door slams open, splintering the old wood. A sharp-nosed hobgoblin stands there, breathing heavily. As the patrons closest to the door move variably to assist the stranger or to draw weapons, he crumpled to the floor, two sleek arrows protruding from his lumbar region
>smells like blood and elderberries
>current dm
All of a sudden SLAM, the door to the tavern swings open. There's a cute little hobgoblin standing there but before you can do anything he falls forward dead with some arrows in its back.
>me dm
It's late at night during one of your typical bouncer shifts at the Sleeping Lion. None of the patrons have caused you any trouble so far and you look forward to soon getting your own drink before you head in for the night. Suddenly, the front door slams open violently and in it stands a ragged Vermling. Vermlings almost never come to this bar and as you're about to confront the rat an aire of hesitation fills the room. The entire bar is silent as the creature, mouth agape, shakily takes two steps forward, before collapsing to the floor, revealing a pair of arrows protruding from its back. What do you do.
I know it sounds like Im jerking my own horn here but the player loves when l get into the details of stuff.
Current DM:
Terse and dark atmospheric telling of the situation in an almost matter-of-fact manner with a hint of smartass at the end of every sentence
Me as a DM:
Basic, colorful descriptors of the location and four minutes of an NPC trying to convince the party not to fall for it, that’s just town drunk Henry the pissed off midgit pullin’ a prank.
gonna listen to dark sun again
thanks
has he dm'ed anymore online?
saw him play on rollplay which was a weird full circle sort of thing, since rollplay only started because JP thought acquisitions incorporated was awesome and wanted to do that
>You're all in a tavern together, maybe you're all just taking it easy and sharing a table, maybe one of you is at the bar, maybe one of you is upstairs
>wait for where they want to be
>the door to the tavern slams open
>Standing in the doorway a rough looking oddly tinted man with pointed eyes breathes heavily, he stumbles forward and falls flat on his face showing the two arrows in his back
As you are taking a rest from the road, you hear the door swing wide with a heavy thud, and as you glance over your shoulder you see a tall shadow barely outlined by the night sky. An elf sitting next to the door gasps as it takes its first step in, not staring AT the hobgoblin before you, but behind. The hob's eyes dart wildely around as if he was expecting to be somewhere else. He breathes heavy, dropping his longsword on the ground, drawing the attention of everyone else. With his second step he reaches out towards the barkeep, opens his mouth as if to speak, but only a gargle of pink foam emerges as he stumbles and falls, tipping over a table beside him as he grabs for support. Now motionless, you clearly see two arrow shafts buried in his upper back.
>me to the party: now what do you do?
>*puts some gaudy tavern music*
>Ok, so you guys are, like, sitting down where in the tavern? It's an ok tavern, mot too crowdy, kinda like [local irish pub] at 7pm.
>We're sitting in the corner, so we don't attract too mamy attention.
>Ok great, you go to this shady part, next to the windows, kinda like in a cell, have a basilisk head on a wall above you. You got your drinks? What did you order?
>*feigns interest and pretend to note down their drinking order*
>Cool, that'll be *say random number between 5 and 15* silver pieces. It's pretty good, considering the price tag. Ok, so what're you doing in this table?
>*Let the group talk to each other for a while, don't interrupt them except for*
>BAM! *hits table* the door suddenly opens and like, this HUGE armored hobgoblin is at the door. I mean he's a real ugly fucker. Hou hear a waitress drop some glasses -crash! - and just went "eeek!" and like, everyone's grabbimg their knives and shit, ready to rumble. But then that hobgoblin just like, FELL! Shit yo, he's DEAD! He's got like, *random number* arrows on his back. Oh now shit just got real, suddenly everyone's on their feet and on guard. You fuckers better roll initiative.
>As you sit down to dine the usual background noice of the tavern settles to your ears.
>Over in a corner a merchant is engaged in a lively discussion with a few local peasants.
>The barkeep seems to be cautiously eyeing [insert barbarian] while whispering to the burly bouncer.
>The barmadids giggle slightly and lean in a bit closer than usual while serving [insert charismatic young fighter] a bowl of root soup and a quarter-loaf.
>Pass a perception check and you can make out two light thuds coming from behind the door.
>Then - *creeak* - the door slides open, a limp arm falling of the handle, and a gaunt, stunted creature collapses on the floor.
>The chilling draft as the door stays open turns every head in the tavern.
>Through the ragged linen and mottled furs you make out a pallid green body, with two deeply planted arrow shafts sprouting from the creature's back.
*Turns to [barbarian]*
>You may make a bestiology roll.
*rises from table*
>Anybody want a whiskey? Tea?
I'm going to struggle going back to normal GM:s when this campaign is over.
Most of the regulars have filed out of the tavern and only a handful of drunks remain at the bar. The final muted clatters of the night's cleaning is coming from the kitchen. As you prepare to turn in for the night the front door swings open, a hobgoblin stumbles in and collapses, two arrows protruding from his back
You forgot the part 2 minutes later where someone mentions "Oh I didn't see it come in my character was trying to do X"
My DM never makes it to the Hobgoblin, he spends the entire session describing the tavern in EXCRUUCIATIIING detail
This is the correct answer.
>So you're all sitting in the tavern, Glewinda the barmaid just served you your drinks when uhhh-the door flies open and a big, goblin-like creature flops on the floor face-down, seeming kinda dead
Then I sit back and look at them expectedly to see what they're gonna do about.
My GM:
> "Its a quaint day in [location] as you all find yourself in a tavern..."
>GM spends some time describing the tavern before asking what everyone is doing
>Nothing comes of what people are doing.
>"SUDDENLY, the door to the tavern swings open, a dusty looking fellow stands in the doorframe..."
>He has us roll to figure out what it is, assuming none of us have run into a hobgoblin before in the campaign
>"The figure stands there for a moment, before falling onto his knees then to the floor, two arrows poking out of his back"
Me GMing:
>"Ok so like you're all in this tavern right? real dusty, kinda cold but its charming or something, idk. Anyways, you're all there flirting and drinking or whatever, and then boom! door swings open, there's like this hobgoblin there and he falls over dead, arrows in his back. Whatcha do?"
My DM:
>10 minute door slamming open scene that would make Mercer blush, everyone falls asleep, begins dialogue with himself
Me:
"The tavern doors slams open and a hobgoblin falls down dead on the floor. What do you do?"
players same some shit, who gives a fuck, not me.
"His body bursts open and tentacles spill forth, snatching patrons and pulling them into massive jaws open on his back. Roll initiative"
I would allow the players to role-play and converse for a couple minutes, then drop a book to the floor to simulate the door slamming open. Preferably when one of them is mid sentence.
>Everything has to be a goddamn fight
YAWN
"You sit in a warm, cozy tavern, the smell of mead and stew filling your noses. The conversations going on around you run together to create a pleasant level of energy."
>let the party chat for a minute or two
"Hold that thought. The door swings open fast, slamming against the wall beside it. Some kind of hairy bipedal creature stands there briefly before staggering forward in a vain attempt to stay on his feet and finally collapsing face-down. Two arrows jut from his back, blood streaking down the back of his tunic."
How'd I do?
Me? I'd say something like:
Drinks and conversation are flowing freely. The barmaid approaches your table in the corner of the inn, bearing a tray full of flagons - your next round of ale. As she's setting down the drinks, a SLAM [smack table] comes from the inn's foyer. The barmaid jumps, sloshing a bit of ale over the brim of a mug. The murmur of conversation grows quiet and hushed, the minstrel stops singing. All eyes are on the wide-open door and the looming figure in the doorway: a hobgoblin.
The creature takes two unsteady steps into the tavern, then falls flat onto his face [smack table again]. Protruding from his back are two arrows. Conversations stop entirely; the minstrel stops strumming his lute.
What do you do?
>me as foreverDM
"You go into the tavern and take a seat. The bar is kind of busy, not overly crowded but there's a fair amount of activity going on. What do you do?"
>players awkwardly survey their surroundings
"Okay, it's pretty sparse in here, it looks like a stereotypical fantasy tavern, with like the wall torches and stuff, you know? Theres a set of stairs leading up...stairs, and...uh...yeah."
>after a long pause, the players get up to go get a drink
"Alright, you get up and start walking to the bar. Halfway there, the door to the tavern slams open, and in the doorway stands an ugly thing that looks a lot like one of the bad guys from Lord of the Rings. Yeah, like the white ones who try and eat Merry and Pippin. Wait, were they white? Whatever, you know what I mean. What do you do?"
>group readies their weapons, paladin charges at the door
"Okay, as you charge at the creature it falls onto it's face, and you can see two arrows sticking out of its back."
I am an incredibly fucking lousy DM. How do I fix my narrative skills?
This is my favorite one.
mein negro
Give the people what they want. My players love hack and slash.
Add a wrinkle to everything, don't worry about narrative flair, too much. Players don't remember every detail of a fucking goblin's face or the color of the walls.
But they do remember when the arrows are larger than normal and all jet black, made of obsidian.
These aren't normal arrows, who or what killed this guy?
There's a trail of blood leading to the tavern. Easy to follow. Where does it lead?
>"Okay, so you guys are at the tavern. It's busy, but not crowded. Maybe you guys are sat at your usual table, waiting for drinks and food, or maybe you're talking to each other or trading stories with some of the other patrons. Anything special you want to be doing?"
>Give players time to establish what they're doing and do some light roleplaying if they so wish. Once I feel that this has gone on long enough...
>"Suddenly, the doors burst open and a someone in cloak falls flat on the floor with arrows protruding out of his back."
>Provide no further details until the players declare actions.
I'm not really a fan of giving players long scenic descriptions. I tend to just give them the basics and fill in the rest as they ask questions or interact with the environment. I also find understatement to be an effective narration technique when something sudden or surprising happens.
>Satan posing as Matt
Never pull the "almost forgot" shit, if it's only been a moment since you finished talking, just interrupt whoever's saying whatever and continue as if you were only pausing to take a breath.
So like:
>"AND HE SLAMS ON THE FLOOR, FACE FIRST!"
>...okay then I get up a-
>ONLY TO REVEAL THE SHAFTS OF SEVERAL ARROWS PROTRUDING FROM HIS BACK, ONE CROOKED AND BENT FROM THE FORCE OF THE IMPACT AS IT PIERCED IT'S HIDE ARMOR. A POOL OF BLOOD BEGINS TO SEEP OUT ONTO THE FLOOR, AS IT DELIVERS A FINAL TWITCH OF THE HAND, BEFORE FALLING FOREVER STILL.
>...okay then I get up and...
That animation is baller, what game is she from?
Guilty Gear Xrd
Should've guessed a guilty gear, but didnt recognize her. Is she a new character or something?
Nah, it's just Baiken
He's running an AcqInc spinoff, "the C Team", where the PCs are a part of a franchising initiative by Omin Dran. I've been really digging it so far, but I'm still catching up. He's got this interesting job system where their role in the corporate structure gives them a few boons, and apparently he plans on releasing it as a supplement eventually, either on its own or as part of a general Acquisitions Incorporated sourcebook.
I find voice modulation to be quite effective for these kinds of narrative sequences. Doubly so since I can't do voices.
>Start medium fast and fairly high volume
>This is the Dagger's End, where people like you come to slake their appetites after a long day. A man sits with his foot on the table, casually unfurling his socks and washing the soles of his feet with a wet towel while a matronly woman scolds him from across the room. A little dog whines for food beneath the chairs and is not disappointed. The scent of smoked ham mixes strangely with a drunken rendition of "The Wraith's Wife".
>Lower volume bit by bit and slow down progressively
>The sun is setting outside but you are surrounded by food and drink, and good company and warm fire. You settle into your routine, feasting, drinking, telling jokes, showing off your scars to the local girls, or just taking a quiet smoke break.
>Beat of silence
>Slam my hand on the table. Loud voice, speaking fast
>The tavern door flies open. A hobgoblin with a broken nose clutches the door frame. Instant silence. The drunken voice continues a note more before the song dies in his throat and the hobgoblin who has taken two steps into the room, falls face first and dies on the tavern floor. Two black arrows stick out of his back.
What do you do?
Sum'bich would read it off a sheet and stumble over the big words.
you make me self conscious satan
i do this
>you at table
>trying to fluff up your exploits
>BOOM BOOM CRASH
>DOOR OPENS
>everyone is looking at door
>copyright friendly goblin walk in and falls flat
>2 arrows stick out his back
>How do YOU describe the scene
The door slams open. The room sways. The party stumbles to their feet in time to see two big ugly lads stroll through the door. No wait, only one. Something about his gait doesn't seem right. Maybe he's had a few like you. He certainly smells like it. The man falls flat on his face and you see the long arrow shafts protruding from the man's back. You have a faint idea to investigate.
>fort check failed
Your head spins. You stumble clumsily towards the man and end up joining him on the floor.
>wis check failed
"hh-eeey bbuddy are you okey?" you murmer to the man, while drooling a bit onto the floor. The man is uglier, and smellier, than you imagined. Wait a moment, this man is a monster! Who let a monster into the bar?
>fort check failed
You want to stand up but it is so much easier just to stay on the floor where you are. You close you eyes just for a bit.
>The next day
You wake up on the bench of the tavern. You are very sore. The light from the windows seems painfully bright. You see a large mug of water on the table next to you and decide to chug it down. You head feels like it is going to split in half. The tavern owner notices you are awake and comes over. He starts going on about the events of the last night, though it feels like you are a million miles away. You get a sense you should probably ask him to repeat that tale once the brutal pounding in your head has subsided.
Roll initiative against what?
Roll perception to see that.