That guy thread

That guy thread

Post stories about that guy/that DM. Bonus points if their name is tyler.

Attached: Horsecatcher.jpg (1512x1045, 1.2M)

>Player keeps trying to push a meme into my game.

I'm so sick of the word "stinker".

I'd rather YOU tell ME about Tyler, sounds hot not you, Tyler

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

I know a Tyler, and I actively made sure not to invite him to my game. So, unfortunately no TTRPG stories.

Same. I've run a few games and have always made sure not to invite the Tyler that I know. However, it's almost a shame, the one game I've played with him he was really funny. He played this firbolg druid with an amazing accent.

I've had good luck in nearly all my games, but we did have one That Guy

>on a quest to find a farmer's daughter, whose been missing for weeks
>we encounter a werewolf, when That Guy claims he's going to skin the werewolf.
>We kill it, and it transforms into a little girl matching the description
>actual moment of sadness as the group, half of them dads at this point, mourns the girl
>That Guy: "anyway so I skin her"
>great joke, except he wasn't joking
>goes on about how his character skins his enemies and keep trophies,l despite him never doing this before
>takes forever for everyone to convince him that we're not bring back the farmer's daughter skinned
>He got actual for real mad and pouted the rest of the session

And of course when he DMs, his DMPCs are always stronger than the party and they always crit. It's been a nice 3 years since he moved away.

Hey fuck you! My name's Tyler and you're probably right about all your assertions about me but I'm still mad about it!

Then yours is much better than mine.

>overall really weird
>tries showing people 'really funny youtube videos' all the time (they aren't funny)
>acts condescending when he knows something that someone asks about; brushes it off as nothing if he's actually wrong about what he was so condescending about
>is the guy that plays smash where he actively runs away from people, spams projectiles, and continues to run away; this isn't a strategy, he's just legitimately bad and not fun to play with

if inviting him to my game meant we'd have to talk more and he'd be interacting with my world, he's staying far away.

he he stinkers

FUCK OFF TYLER

excuse me but tyler is very good smelling
he baths and perfumes every day

you sound like fun

Is that you, Weldon?

Kill him. Find a way.

Thank you for getting this pasta out of the way early

satan trips confirm.

I'll paste one I shared in one of these threads a while back:

>this dude kept farting and denying it
>like, he insisted it wasn't him but he would lean to the side when he did it, and occasionally it was even audible
>a stench would waft across the room and everyone would gag
>one time the DM is doing the villainous monologue and this dude launches into some arse musica and everyone just stops and stares at him

It wouldn't have even been so bad if he'd just go outside and let it out or something. I mean, maybe he couldn't help it, but the dude kept denying it. And this was AFTER the DM went to him in private and tried to speak about it one-on-one to spare him embarrassment.

Finally we just had to let him go from the group because we couldn't take the flavor of the Air Buds he brought with him.

>purposely names their character something stupid so npc's have to say it

Names their triton ranger "Triton"

Names their goliath monk "Daddy"

I let them use homebrew classes and races because I'm pretty chill and want them to have fun. Make literally the dumbest character ever. Class is Strider. Race is Living Weapon. Literally picks these for stats and then names his character "Strider the striding strider".

Guy's I just don't get it. They like the sessions and I'm not a total dick and stickler for rules but holy fuck why do they insist on this?

>create an interesting little story in your campaign
>the group really gets into it and likes the sad twist
>that one guy wants to be edgy and ruin it

Why the fuck do people like this exist? I have one in the campaign I'm DMing

They are socially stunted and deal with their awkward feelings by making a parody of them.

I remember that post, shame it wasn't screencapped.

SPECTRAL EGGS

Shadow run game
Party is a Cyborg Mob boss, Mystic Adept Troll, Infiltrator elf, and that girl a min/maxed super edgy punch adept drake.
Party is on a run to find out where a low level Yakuza gang are getting military grade weapons and experimental tech.
We manage to track down a hang out for two of the gang members involved a local noodle shop. The we have half the party kidnap the newer member and interrogate him in a van, while the other members keep the other member occupied and see what information they can get just through diplomacy.
The Van group, which consists of the troll and the infiltrator. Manage to snatch up the member with ease and our troll intimidates the shit out of him and with in seconds he's talking.
Meanwhile the Noodle group which consists of the cyborg and that girl are not having as much luck. Our cyborg is not having that easy a time extracting information and all "that girl" is doing is rolling intimidation checks (because surprise its the only skill not combat related she has.) Which actually makes things HARDER on them getting information because they come across like jack asses.
Eventually the Cyborg gives the fuck up and just intimidates the yak member by saying we had there buddy and if they don't give us the info our troll will pop his head like a zit.
The Yak give us a bit more information. Mainly specifics on what kind of forces we might be looking at and any tricks they might have up there sleeve.
Cyborg tells the Van group to let the guy go and to stop by and pick them up.
AS THE CYBORG is calling the van. That girl randomly asks the Yakuza to look at the person sitting in the booth behind her. The Yak confused does so and That girl walks over to that person AND KILLS THEM. BRUTALLY FUCKING MURDERS THEM and tells the yak to tell all the other Yakuza about how cool she is.
>This was supposed to be a covert mission, lone star was not supposed to get involved and the session ends with us hearing sirens.

>tfw some people still don't get that "tee hee maccaroni" means "tg pasta"

spoilers, it was his fetish

For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.

One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".

Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.

I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.

Friend says he's bringing two new people with 15 minute warning, GM likes the guy and says it's totally fine. spend the next 30 minutes making the new people some sheets. The guy who brought them can't do it because he constantly messes up his own sheets on "accident"

One hates it and is tagging along with friends, the other keeps trying to crack jokes every few minutes interrupting everyone. Our group likes to laugh but we are also there to play. New guy is constantly trying to pull attention to himself.

Sounds more lazy than anything. How is he in other areas?

>That guy leaves after bitching at the group for not enough "role play"
>He constantly made power gamey PCs
>1 year later
>Guys I'm back
>Every week says he's sick or has an engagement of some kind
>3 months later
>This is still going on
>No one in the group cares if he shows up anymore
>Half of us kind of want to tell him he's out but can't be bothered since he isn't showing up anyways

>Troll player constantly plays lolrandumb
>Verge of tears whenever confronted for his actions
>Constantly picks fights with host
>Leaves after imploding host GM's game
>Comes back months later
>Still baiting host
>Be me
>Be GM
>Now have to act like a babysitter keeping the host and the troll player from fighting again

Are you... are you trying to advertise McDonalds here? Wat?

>start a new campaign with a new group after I moved (this was years ago)
>gm says he wants to run a more open world and more like a sandbox
>everyone seems to like the idea and we get into the game
>5 minutes later and the gm is already railroading us with shit like "oh youre not gonna talk to the hooded merchant?"
>"anyway you guys talk to the hooded merchant"
>ask him why he is making me talk to this guy when I want to leave the cliche as fuck tavern and find some shit to do
>"but you guys need a plot hook"
>finally agree and figure maybe after this it'll open up
>every fucking session it is the same railroad with the gm pulling shit out of his ass to make us do what he wants to the point where I wanted to go back to town for something and the gm refused making it feel like there were invisible walls everywhere
>still refers to it as a sandbox game despite being more set in stone than the fucking 10 commandments

Thank god I found a better group because that shit was pure cancer incarnate.

He's fairly creative and consistent in roleplaying but his insists on the stupid names. Maybe Im just being an asshole

This was my groups first times playing a TTRPG other than this one guy. Thing is, that guy also turned out to be 'that guy.
GM was pretty shit too though, he refused to change his 'rules' even after people would point out how this guy was abusing them.

that guy is a paladin that acts like he's better than everyone else. He eventually realizes the very few limitations the DM puts on him because of his oath are too much, so he instantly becomes a fallen paladin.

Here's where he really starts fucking things up. He uses the fact that he's played more than us to break the rules, and convinces the DM what he's doing is 'the correct way to play'.

He multiclasses as a warlock the next level up and then tells the DM that the warlock spell slots increase with the character level. The DM actually says yes to this. After a few sessions the DM realizes how overpowered a level 6 paladin with level 6 warlock spells is compared to everyone else. He refuses to just tell the player 'I made a mistake, fix your character.' Instead the DM tells us to solve this problem ourselves, he'll just throw in stronger enemies at us to compensate.

Veeky Forums meme.

So, Tyler is literally Satan. Got it.

>Greedy merchant has stolen a warding stone
>Figure this out and we try to bring it back
>No monsters attack us as they can see we are trying to bring it back
>We deliver it back to the temple it was stolen from
>All the monsters go dormant again
>Find a magic bow, spellbook and some rings in the temple and are ready to leave with no fuss
>That guy: "I'm going to sneak one of the warding stones back into my pocket"
>All monsters reanimate and attack him
>We help them get the stone back
>That guy "I also wanted some loot"

Why are "rogue" players like this.

My girlfriend is a "that guy". Plays only rogues and acts like a dumbass. Makes it worse that she doesn't do it well and has literally no ability to be subtle.

It took a long time, but she has slightly improved. Still shit, but better.

I wander if it's daft cunts who play rogues, instead of the rogue class itself being daft cunt.

I like to blame RPG videogames. Where the AI cant "figure out" if you steal from them. While when playing with real people your dickish shit is super transparent and get's called out on but now you are unable to quickload nor can you just murder/runaway/pay them to let it go.