Merry Christmas Anons! (Ok happy March) I finally have some time free so if anyone remembers this I'll do some posting for you.
>What is this Storytime. Veeky Forums seems to like it and as a result I'll keep doing it.
>What do I need to know? Absolutely nothing. These are stories from my long established group set in a world that looks a lot like ours. Sort of. It's an alternate history somewhere sort of around 1900 ish.
>What's it about? Stories from my long established group in an alternate history setting.
>where do I start? By reading this post. If you like what you hear in this thread then there's more here: 1d4chan.org/wiki/Britbongsteros.
Now last time we did this I got about half way through >the Chamber of Maximum Fuck I can of course finish that or start one of the others. These include >Britbongsteros on the Savannah (We go to Africa it all goes wrong) >Britbongsteros and Alucard the totally not a vampire (this takes place in London)
Hudson Miller
What is the world of Britbongsteros like? A world much like our own, except with a very healthy dose of alt-history and magic. There's bits of every possible mythos and additionally the DM hates you and everyone you've ever loved.
Dramatis Personae: Angus - An orc from Dundee. Originally a greengrocer but also horrendously proficient with the flamethrower he carries. The flamethrower doubles as a thermic lance. The bard - A human, wears a kilt, plays the bagpipes. Occasionally has great ideas. The DM uses his own taste in music for what the bard actually plays (so usually classic rock or country & western). Cruella - Essentially a Dark Eldar wych wearing more clothes. She is vicious and stealthy. Armed with two daggers and a sword that she talks to. The wizard - Not actually magic but can command metal (iron) and summon various sharp or pointy things. Including chainsaws. The Navvie (also called Burt) - A very large human with a hammer. He hits things with it. Aldous - A dwarven knight. Wears full plate. Carries twin revolvers and a gatling shotgun. Smokes a pipe. The more observant amongst you might note that this is also me.
Carter Allen
Oh there's also the DM but he's a dick mostly.
Jackson Rogers
I was implying the first user who wishes should pick one
Adam Foster
Savannah. Looking forward to seeing how badly the flamethrower wrecks the setting (unless it's rainy seaon!).
But as I can't remember the chamber of maximum fuck, I'd say lets go to Africa - given the way the rest of the world is, I'd put some decent monet on your DM having some good interesting fun with it - he (and you, iirc?) seem bloody creative with the worldbuilding, and Pink Map era Africa (plus the French) is an interesting place
To Africa we go. This was a very, very odd campaign. It sort of slots into our established narrative shortly after our visit to Egypt.
>Britbongsteros, the mosquitos, a muffin and Mokele-mbembe
We are politely told that there is an issue in
Bentley Robinson
Oops.
Right.
We are politely told that there is an issue in Africa. (We will need that map soon). In the copper mines of Northern Rhodesia (the top of the blue bit at the bottom of Africa - Zambia in our now extremely boring world) there is a problem. A big problem. Something has been eating the miners. Local legend speaks of an enormous beast that's risen from the depths of lake Tanganyika. It's bigger than a bolo and it's eating a hell of a lot of people.
>who's telling us this? We are aboard the HMS Ark Royal I'm our way to Durban. It's a long voyage and our captain (played by the DM) is reading us our sealed orders (signed by the privy council). Kill or capture it.
Our sealed orders even with all the signatures, the pre-amble and everything else we'd expect are a good bit longer than that.
>"As you will note, as at least two of you can read, bordering Lake Tanganikya is the Belgian republic of Congo. We are given to understand that the local Zyoba people may be more sympathetic to British rule than to that of the Belgians. Ensure that their humanitarian concerns are taken into account. >The party look at each other. Wat? >Wizard: I think that means we are meant to conquer it. >party: aaah
>why on earth might anyone the Congo? Well it's full of natural resources, diamonds, and a lovely amount of other things. At the moment it's also full of Belgians. >why are copper mines important? Copper is wonderful stuff. It's malleable and easily turned into things. It's used in electrics and industrial machinery. Especially in things like boilers and engines - what are battleships powered by?
Noah Sanders
>Belgians
I think we have talked about Belgians before a bit. Belgians are dragons. At least a few of them are. Their ruler is chosen by dint of who is the largest of the drakes. The current King Leopold I-VI (having eaten his five predecessors he gets their numbers too) is understood to be around 50 yards long. However dragons don't seem to do terribly well in Africa - tending to die malaria, sleeping sickness, or yellow fever pretty fast so we can expect much smaller and more vigorous dragons with faster immune systems down there.
Either way though the Belgians probably won't look too kindly on us messing around in their territory and we are in theory allied to them.
>African wildlife Much as you'd expect, except there's still plenty of pre-historic megafauna roaming around and more than a few dinosaurs. So if there's something big enough to have scared the tribes of people, gorilla men, and other assorted folk in the area away from those mines, it must be terrifying.
Cooper Howard
By the way, as is traditional, I'm sorry in advance Belgium, Africa, and any other nationalities we might meet. Well not really but you have to say this sort of thing nowadays.
Ryan Nguyen
The Congo >the Belgian dragons weren't actually very bothered about sub Saharan Africa ( it being full of disease and horribleness as far as they were concerned) but it's also in addition to those natural resources, full of large, interestingly tasty mega fauna. So Leopold I-VI financed his own free state, (As opposed to a Belgian one) and we have heard their methods of social control are... unusual.
Oliver Fisher
Ok I think that's all the fluff we need for now. You'll get some actual story shortly.
Ryan Richardson
Waiting patiently
David Carter
Ok so the voyage is fairly uneventful aside from one small interlude where we all went swimming (quite common for sailors to do this in tropical waters with a sail weighted appropriately to make a kind of pool).
The bard tried talking to dolphins >can dolphins talk? >I dunno. Want to try? >sure! "Hello flipper!" >roll for it >rolls >they think you're a twat.
We also had an equator crossing ceremony which when it was all explained that we slimy pollywogs would go through the initiation ceremony Cruella declined saying enigmatically that she was a trusty, Royal, diamond shellback already. She also had the tattoo. >what the fuck are you talking about Aldous? en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Line-crossing_ceremony It was discovered that 'wogs (yes that's appropriate here) have to somehow interrogate a shellback by >cracking eggs on them >Cruella: ...no. >pouring aftershave on their heads >Cruella: that sounds ok... >tying them up >Cruella: later.
The rest of us had a great time chasing folk about and the Navvie got quite into it, he and Angus having a competition to see who could egg the most sailors. No one mentioned that >The wogs are made very aware that it will be much harder on them if they do anything like this. Later after being pelted with a lot of rotten fruit and being made to kiss the royal babies belly coated in axle grease we proceeded onward. For once no one got murdered and no cosmic horror shat demonic hordes of flesh eating explosion-beetles.
It was noted that the wizard (being attuned to iron on some deep level) went a bit funny for a while when we crossed the equator and started speaking backwards for a bit.
Henry Turner
Sometime later we arrive in Durban. It should be about summer in bongland so it's winter here. It's not too bad actually and the locals are a mix of Europeans of all flavours and Arabs of various degrees of bonkers. Having dropped in by Crazy Hassan's camels & other livestock we are just about prepared for our trip north. We can take the train as far as the line has built - n.b. The Cape to Cairo line is being built in britbongsteros. That it doesn't exist in reality is one of the sadnesses of the end of empire and the second world war as it would have done amazing things. >I promise as someone with deep (actual) connections to Rhodesia I won't cry too much about this. We at least get a lift to Kapiri Mposhi
Nicholas Scott
By the way if any (or none) of this makes sense just let me know. Here's some good old fashioned dirt a bit further east of Kapiri.
