Red flag thread?

>horrendously fat.
>smells terrible and won’t do anything about it even if asked.
>dresses inappropriately and thinks it’s fine.
>spills stuff on the books.

1200? Twelve Fucking Hundred? Bro, chop that shit off. Your backstory should be sub-200. This guy has it right. It's not the entire novel, it's a sneak peek, a little prologue, with hints at what might come. Leave room to grow into the character, because it might develop in ways you don't expect. Maybe your good-hearted knight has a greedy streak, or your scholarly mage develops a drinking habit to cope with the dark truths he discovers.

>cuck
>nigger
>(((jew)))
>snowflake
>applesponge
>SJW's
>libtards
>(((womyn)))
>soyboys
>leftist
>commie

>triple brackets
Oh boy, here we go! If you thought dyed-hair undercut septum-pierced weirdos had a hard time keeping their politics out of the game, just wait for a non-stop cavalcade of DEUS VULTs and "[Fantasy race] is just a thinly veiled [real-world race] analogy" funtimes!

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i'm going to chop most of it off, my man, don't worry. i usually write a lot on a daily basis, so it just kind of happened.

>Insist on playing a monster PC
>"My girlfriend wants to try"
>Player starts to contest GM decisions
>"I can draw the line between antagonizing your character and antagonizing you"

>Write basic backstory page, maybe two
>Go back and look at it
>Make corrections, fix things
>Delete one sentence, add two unknowningly
>Do this over a period of a few days
>Suddenly backstory is ten pages long
>Gives an in-depth look at his people's culture, industry, festivals, traditions, etc.
>All from the perspective of an outsider who stumbled on their wagon train
>Ends up being nearly 10 pages
>GM looks at my character screen to check something real quick
>His face

I CANT HELP IT

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Applesponge?

If it makes you feel better, I love players like you user. As long as you're okay with your peers and your GM doing the same.

Keep a blog of your character's exploits during the campaign. When it finishes, use the material + backstory to self publish a novella on Amazon.

>insist on playing monster PC
This. Very much this.

/pol/'s attempt to discredit leftypol by making a fake "liberal response" to 'soyboy'

general faggotry

We got through one session and the GM vanished suddenly and deleted the game. I forgot to save a back up of my backstory.

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>Must play a certain race even if that race isn't in the games setting.
>GMs who brag about their player kill counts.

I've got a campaign setting that I've been working on for years, but I've intentionally avoided creating any living NPCs; I make those up on the spot and it usually works out.

>>GMs who brag about their player kill counts.
>GMs who brag about how many paladins they've made fall

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>"My girlfriend wants to try"
Usually this. Though we once had a dude invite his gf and she was a better fit for the group than he was. The game ended a short time later.
After they broke up, we invited her back, and I ended up wifing her.

>that spoiler

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I'm the GM. It's my world. Your backstory better not infringe.

When will the cycle of violence end

>Must play a certain race even if that race isn't in the games setting.

What? By virtue of the GM being the one who defines the setting, having players play a particular race *makes* it a part of that game's setting.

What are you on about?

>In this setting there are Humans, Elves, Halflings, Dwa-
>I want to play a Centaur!
>There are none in this-
>That's retarded! I demand to play my Centaur Paladin/Warlock/Assasin

>that spoiler

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Ah, by context I assumed you were talking about GMs.

Your world ain't shit without me tho

>GM keeps coming up with excuses why we can't meet this week. Most involve his literally autistic daughter doing stupid shit.
>GM inserting NPCs based on their wife and aforementioned daughter, the latter of which is treated like a pariah by every character in the setting
>GM spending 20 minutes with one character at a time while everyone else sits around bored
>GM and players alike have screaming children, birds chirping, and other bullshit background noise that makes it hard to hear them
>Player has such a dogshit mic they might as well send up smoke signals in Russian for how comprehensible they are
>GM consistently lies and claims they have many years of GM experience, when it's quite clear they have no idea how to pace a session or set up any sort of coherent story
>GM unironically uses the term "large buxomed"

I could go on and on...

Don't you lump in my glorious Deus Vult shitposting with this swine.

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I'm not the one you should be mad at, bro.

>There's a girl at the table
>The girl knows the DM personally

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But user, what if EVERYONE knows the DM personally?
Like, you know, you have players as a group of friends or something, that crazy idea?

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I see what you're trying to do and I admire your chutzpah

I don't fucking get this. What, eye rolling at someone shoving any form of politic into something means you're one of THEM?

That's the idea behind two party politics. If you're not an alt righter you're a SJW, in the eyes of those two groups

The left-right political spectrum is an invention of the rich to divide and conquer the poor. It keeps the working class fighting each other instead of their true enemy: the rich.

The left right political spectrum is an organically bred complex composed of two separate and competing entities who, by design, try to absorb every single issue that hasn't been absorbed by the other. The way each absorb each issue is due to circumstances and vary country by country, and era by era. When one is pro X, the other becomes by design anti X.

The divide is by design arbitrary and doesn't makes any sense from a logical standpoint, and only acquire meaning if you understand it as organically bred and evolved.

Derives from this any left right discussion is by design unproductive, meaningless and irrational.

Here you go comrade

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
>Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
>TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

based

t. bougie slave

> People whose only form of humour is shoving memes where they don't belong
> Camera required
> Politics
> Phones at the table
> Needing to speak up 3-4 times to be heard

People like this user.

Because you've just derailed the thread/conversation, and are deserving of a slap in the face for such.

SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP

I’ve had this happen every time

>"large buxomed"
A what now?

big boobed.

Camera required
I'm sorry what?

The phone thing is a bullshit complaint and you know it faggot.
I actually have a life and if work/family needs to reach me then I want them to be able to

It’s always easier to distill and cut down than it is to expand and create.

For a low level character? Not more than a page, probably. Give the core information:
>physical description
>a bit about their personality
>where they're from
>people they might know
>why they're adventuring (actual event that kicks it off, and overall motivation)

That's probably enough to give the GM something to work into the adventure, enough to give other PCs an idea of what you're like, and enough to remind you who you are.
While a little more meat doesn't hurt, going over a page is probably too much for a starting character.

For a higher-level character, feel free to tack on some info about how they got this strong, previous adventures and companions, contacts, etc.

If you can't spare 2-4 hours without looking into phone, start playing online or fuck off.

I don't know English well enough to explain how much you're wrong.

There's a difference between "getting an important call from family" and "browsing facebook when it's not your turn".

People complaining about phones are usually mad about the latter.

Oh, that's a strange thing to get upset about.

yeah, I have no idea why they got upset.
Though they did mention 'not ironically' so maybe the GM does it a lot?

He was concerned about the term 'buxom', which I'm pretty sure hasn't been used anywhere outside of porn fics in the past half a century. And 'big buxomed' means 'big big-breasted', so you're dealing with someone who is creepy AND illiterate.

I mean, it is a weird way to phrase it. "Larged buxomed" is kind of redundant, since "buxom" already means to have big boobs. Larged buxomed just sounds weird while buxom is neater and means the same thing.

GM was probably trying to describe things with ye olden terms, and failing.

merriam-webster.com/dictionary/buxom

There does appear to be obsolete and archaic terms involving the word buxom, but vigorously or healthily plump as well as full-bosomed are both still considered modern usage.

>"I know you said no phones at the table, but I need mine in case of some convoluted emergency."
Fuck off.
>be 42
>have family and company to take care of
>sometimes get at least 1 or 2 calls in 30 minutes
>ask if it's really important and can't wait
>if they say "yes", then I ask the group to wait for me, go to kitchen and solve the problem over the phone in 10 minutes or so
>if they say "no" I just politely tell them to call me later and hang up, wasting about 30 seconds of everyone's time.
What's so bad about that? My group and GM understand that all of us have shit to worry about, why can't you do that?

Looks like female article writers are very much using that term

Going off this
>no phones at the table

(Du)

>have only ever played with RL friends
>have never had any of the problems described in this thread

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They're probably just flat, and sad about it being brought up constantly.

i can't tell if this post is listing these as types of people he wouldn't want to play with or words used by the type of people he wouldn't want to play with

If it's 5e it wont be a problem. That edition is so empty

Lucky man! You actually have real life friends who are into tabletop roleplaying games and have the opportunity to meet together at least twice a week to spend a few hours on a game.
I only have one real life friend who I know is a roleplayer, except he mostly does LARP and historical reconstruction, and has moved to another region of my country two years ago.
I have three female friends who like roleplaying, but all three are in different countries, one is in a different time zone. I have played with a few people, and the only That Guy I've met so far was just a bad case of powerplaying minmaxing munchkin with little to no roleplaying skill. And now I don't even have time to play online except, may be, pbp.

>at least twice a week
Are you insane? Twice a month is optimal for us. Mostly as we're in a bunch of different timezones so organising is difficult.

"Chestally blessed" is good.

How long are your games where answering a call every 30 minutes and then having the group wait 10 minutes isn't a huge chunk of your time? Regardless of if you actually need to answer the call or not having the table shush so you can check it 10 times in a 5 hour session seems like it would be really irritating. If your party is fine with it then it's whatever but I personally don't see how this isn't a huge bother.

Hell what if everyone knows the DM THAT IS A GIRL?

Because everyone gets a free ride

One A4 is the max for me. I mean, you can write as much as you want, but y'know.

>spills stuff on the books.

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When based moot, blessing be upon him, returns from his self-imposed exile and banishes the philistines from our our ancestral lands

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Not OP but I'm currently doing this with my character. Been playing the same game for over a year and have been slowly compiling the story as told from my character's perspective.

Doubt I'm gonna publish it but I'm enjoying writing it.

Classic

>>player that turns in pages upon pages of backstory, unprompted

See, I make up a lot of backstory for my characters just because I love writing characters, but I don't share it with the whole group unless prompted because 90% of it will never come up.
I give the 2-3 sentence overview of my character, then answer any questions people might have from that.

>The phone thing is a bullshit complaint
>Fuck off.
>>be 42
>>have family and company to take care of
>>sometimes get at least 1 or 2 calls in 30 minutes
>>go to kitchen and solve the problem over the phone in 10 minutes or so
We all know the difference between players who have phones just in case and players who need a rule keeping phones from the table.
If you pretend otherwise, you're probably an asshole holding up the game for others and justifying it however you want.

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Doing it right

fuck off and stay home if you can not go evening without calls from work.

>SHUT
>THE
>FUCK
>UP
When /pol/ fags invade

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I have four kids, manage a construction firm, oversee two properties (seven tenants), and have a wife who is currently pulling doubles at the hospital (usually it's just midnights). I'm currently running a bi-weekly game for friends/family and ran a few one shots over the last year for my church's youth program.
If I can put the phone down for 4 hours to run a session, you have no excuse. Fuck off.

Get a load of this applesponge.

They can dish it out, but the second they have to take even a little bit, it's a non-stop ride to Tantrumtown.

>rrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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>Homebrews
I thought Veeky Forums loved homebrews?

DU HAST

du has(s)t mich

What does that even mean exactly?

Some faggot decided to make fun of the term "soyboy" with his own equally if not more retarded word. Don't encourage him.

This some twitter reddit bullshit right here.

The world is binary! Us and them! If you disagree with me that Gone Home was amazing you fucking hate women don't you? What, you're a woman? Error erorr you must be a SOCKPUPPET

Wait you think girls should be encouraged to go into fields that are traditionally male so that eventually they'll even out to 50/50? You're a fucking FEMINAZILIBTARD and I hate you! Wait, you think men should have equal custody and rights? but how will you take my guns