Last time on Unoriginal Shit Z:
Filename thread
Jeremiah Moore
Eli Rodriguez
man, the last thread had a lot of filenames that weren't even remotely Veeky Forums
I'll post one I've shat on a few threads in the past couple days to start us off
Josiah Davis
Xavier Ortiz
Hudson Martinez
Jose Smith
Dylan Johnson
Jonathan Bennett
Andrew Bell
Jack Cruz
Ayden Roberts
I'm fucking sorry, but I need context for this shit.
Evan Perez
Cultural enrichment squad breifing
Jace Rogers
Standard US military sexual harassment training. Usually given in a mandatory session before a weekend pass or after someone has done something especially dumb... like rape someone they found broken down on the side of the road.
Cooper Miller
Lincoln Sullivan
Aiden Nguyen
Christopher Rogers
Caleb Rivera
Christian Barnes
Levi Collins
Jayden Perry
Asher Long
Alexander Garcia
Leo Lewis
Could use a more succinct name desu
Anthony Wright
Sebastian Baker
Connor Butler
Liam Russell
Jayden Hernandez
Angel Barnes
Fucking kek
Matthew Butler
Josiah Rogers
You would think executing the one responsible would get that point across.
Chase Allen
Isaac Clark
Brandon Torres
Isaac Peterson
Lincoln Young
This comic never fails to make me chuckle
Chase Torres
>Summon Ass
haha yes
Nicholas Hall
>Shield of farts.
Sounds something that can let you fly under the right circumstances. For example, when you're surrounded by people who really hate it when you fly.
Daniel Cox
>using pregen characters
Christopher Bell
Owen Allen
Ian Lopez
Ryder Ward
Ethan Rogers
Alexander Gray
Liam Jenkins
Nathan Phillips
Austin Johnson
Jayden Ortiz
Lucas Price
>try to use stimpak
>other hand is occupied by a lightsaber and infinity gauntlet
>have to mash pip boy button with rim of spartan helmet
All he really needs is batman's utility belt
Easton Ortiz
We got due process and all that shit + the liberals whine we execute criminal scum.
Nathaniel Mitchell
Juan Lee
If it helps, the guy giving this briefing hates it just as much as you and often throws in jokes like this to make it bearable for everyone who's forced to show up to it.
t. family gives briefings like this routinely
Joshua Long
Problem with execution is they often get it wrong, acvidentally or willingly. You give a group the power to execute and it's too easy for them to use it to ailence someone or remove an obstacle whereas with imprisonment they can appeal itat a better time.
Angel Rogers
Silence*
Henry Wilson
>Breath: Shards
So it's coughing up hard bits of its own throat ?
Hudson Campbell
Adam Wood
>We got due process and all that shit
That's what tribunals are for.
>Did you do the thing?
>Yes.
>You are hereby sentenced to hang from the neck until dead.
Soldiers don't get the benefit of civilian law.
Hunter White
>Problem with execution is they often get it wrong
No they don't.
Cooper King
>due process
Usually. Sometimes. Some people get a lot more due process than others.
Though it's not like soldiers are held accountable for anything anyway. If they do something to non-whites across the sea and nobody has it on tape, it might as well have never happened as far as actual consequences are concerned. They chew through civilians like it's GTA with no wanted meter.
Hell, they rape their subordinates and nothing can happen because the victim has to report it to their supervisor, who also happens to be their rapist. There's an allegedly-independent board for this stuff, but like any other check on their behavior it's a complete sham set up to dodge the court system, silence and discredit victims, and keep rights-activists quiet.
Tell me the last time one of those tribunals executed an american service-member for doing anything to a foreigner.
Adrian Gray
Nice reasoning.
Benjamin Allen
>Tell me the last time one of those tribunals executed an american service-member for doing anything to a foreigner.
That's the problem.
Angel Campbell
Ah, SHARP training.
Don't miss that.
Bentley Anderson
From my observance, powerpoints really don't make the type of person who rapes other people want to rape people less... But they do make people who don't want to kill themselves want to kill themselves.
Jayden Cooper
John Bennett, 1961. He raped a little Austrian girl while shit face drunk, then tried unsuccessfully to drown her. He was executed via hanging. He was Black, but it's pretty likely that he did, in fact, commit the crime. He may have suffered from mental health issues that might have protected him in today's court. The girl and her parents pleaded for clemency, but he was still executed (this was several years after the fact).
So, yeah. More than half a century since there's been an execution of a soldier for doing something fucking awful.
Adam Hughes
>The girl and her parents pleaded for clemency
I'm not sure which is worse.
Michael Morales
Sebastian Harris
Levi Parker
>Though it's not like soldiers are held accountable for anything anyway. If they do something to non-whites across the sea and nobody has it on tape, it might as well have never happened as far as actual consequences are concerned. They chew through civilians like it's GTA with no wanted meter.
Man, 9 months in the middle of fucking nowhere Afghanistan and I somehow missed all the civilian slaughter we did.
Here's a tip: Most soldiers don't willingly and gleefully slaughter civilians for shits and giggles, much as some people would like you to believe they do.
This isn't to say civilians don't get killed, because they absolutely do, but it's usually either an accident or a heat of the moment thing where you have to make a judgement call.
It's that latter situation that gets so ugly, unfortunately. The classic example I always remember was the Platoon SGT who had a guy pull up next to his platoon in the middle of a firefight and run to his trunk. Guy shot him, because he didn't know if he was grabbing a gun or something else.
Turns out she was a doctor, and had his kit in there. He was coming to help the wounded. But the PSG made the right call.
A good way to judge a situation is to check the other soldiers he served with as witnesses during his trial. If they refused to testify or testified against him, like with Clint Lorance, then you can figure the dude was a murderer.
Zachary King
I mean, the military solves problems. It might solve them in the worst way that doesn't help anyone, but it solves problems.
What bothered me the most was that the lackluster attitude towards that shit often extended towards subjects fuckers needed to pay attention too. Mandatory finance training isn't doing shit if you just treat it like a joke.
Hunter Carter
Since other anons have already told you it's a military instructor with a sense of humour, the actual line shown is from a list by a "female comedian" called Sarah Silverman. This quality of "joke" is why there aren't many female comedians. Can't be bothered green texting them they're so boring.
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
Hunter Ortiz
Leo Russell
Oliver Wright
Chase Perez
Ryder Smith
>tezzeretarrivingatkaladesh.gif
>Forceful force
Parker Rivera
>Remorse?
My sides have reached the astral plane.
Carter Barnes
Hudson Cox
>This isn't to say civilians don't get killed, because they absolutely do
This really annoys me.
You're in an ACTIVE COMBAT ZONE. If you stay here, chances are high you will FUCKING DIE. What do the civvies do? Stay, of course.
More cynical people would think they stay and die so that the controversy will also kill you.
Nicholas Davis
>I never saw any rapes so they probably didn't happen
Asher Stewart
Got the source on that?
Hudson King
How droll
Nolan Cooper
Remember, people were ordered to evacuate before Katrina.
Dominic Rivera
Nicholas Moore
Well, that's one way to make a wedding bearable.
Lincoln Smith
>5 pieces of exodia
Nice touch
Hunter Perez
Never said it didn't. I was in the same area that the whole "Kill Team" debacle went down in, and it's not like the wars have been absent of war crimes.
But they're not nearly as common as people think they are, and sometimes they're often overblown.
It's the wartime equivalent of the kidnapped white woman shit: it does happen, but not nearly as much as people think. But when it does, people talk about it so much you come to believe it's happening all the time.
Eli Ramirez
Nolan Cox
You're touching on a really complicated issue here.
For one thing, some of these people have never been more than 100 miles from where they were living. Their parents lived and died there, their grandparents lived and died there, there's generations and entire family lines in that one section. And with how big the tribal allegiances are, there's a shitload of reasons for them to stay. Moving to another area can no shit get them killed because they're an outsider.
Secondly, it's not like the area was peaceful before we got there. Afghanistan has been at war for roughly a thousand years. Maybe not always all out war, but they're always fighting over something. Tribal lines and conflicts arise constantly. A big mistake a lot of people make is that they think of the terrorists as some sort of unified group, or at the very least a bunch of allied sections. But to be honest, they often hated each other as much as they did us. Never mind the all the neutral farmers and the like who had their own grudges to settle.
Another thing to remember is that almost none of them knew about 9/11. You hear it all the time, but it's honestly true that a single extremist group was ultimately responsible. By and large, almost no one we dealt with knew anything about 9/11 unless they'd been told by us. From their point of view, we just showed up and invaded their country for no reason.
I mean, Afghanistan is super interesting, but incredibly fucked up place. It's real easy to look down on them, but the damn country has been at constant war with nearly everyone, because everyone who shows up wants to conquer it for it's resources. And a thousand of years of war is going to breed some pretty fucked up people, and they don't let go of that shit easy. And it's important to remember that no one can actually claim they've truly conquered the country. It's known as the Graveyard of Empires for a reason.
Christian Myers
Enemy
Isaac Miller
Enemy. You're not going to like it, most likely.
It's a psychological thriller, and that's literately the final scene of the movie.
Juan Edwards
>And it's important to remember that no one can actually claim they've truly conquered the country.
Which is very frustrating as it's such an easy process.
Jace Hill
It is absolutely not. You're dealing with shitloads of incredibly isolated and hostile terrain, with tribal sections often living in what amount to fortresses. They often owe no loyalty than to others of their tribe, and have almost zero interest in listening to an outsider who has at best nominal control over them. Multiply that situation by the thousands, and you end up with a country that's damn near impossible to conquer, because either you have to simply wipe out every single person you come across(and good luck finding all of them), or you have to depend on tribal mullahs and finding someone local with the strength and connections to get them all to listen. Which just leads to the rise of new warlords and them ultimately remaining independent of you.
Afghanistan is basically built to be unconquerable. Every single aspect of the country makes it nearly impossible to maintain any sort of control over it.
Alexander Long
Alright, thanks! Probably not what I was imagining, but hey, psychological thrillers are great.
Robert Lopez
>Dood to Stone
Common in dorms anywhere
>Dance of Sack and Prime
You will get laid tonight, but there will be babby (druidic spell)
>Mister of Light
Summons a very, very, VERY brightly glowing angel.
>Maine Storm
Do they need spells for that?
John Carter
>because either you have to simply wipe out every single person you come across
Bingo.
>Afghanistan is basically built to be unconquerable.
So they say, until it's done.
Ian King
Sauce?
Angel Bell
>He doesn't know Overlord
Nathan Green
Maine's high wizard population is the reason for its storms, duh.