DM woes thread

>Hey user I want my character to be a fighter who can cast spells.
>Oh. Okay? So like a multiclass fighter/wizard?
>No. A fighter who can cast spells.
>... so like... a dusk blade?
>NO! I said a fighter who can cast spells!
>... so like a fighter with really high Use Magic device and some scrolls or-
>No. Again. A fighter. Who can cast spells.
>user that makes no sense. Fighters can't cast spells it's not an ability they gain without multi classing.
>Well my last DM was able to do it.

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Are you telling me that, in the entirety of 3.pf which that appears to be, there are no feats, races, or subclasses which feature any sort of spellcasting for a fighter?
Even 5e has the Eldritch Knight.

Eldritch knight is in 3.5 but it's a PRC and requires a level or two in wizard.

5e has an Eldritch Knight Archetype. It's one of the basic three they give you in the PHB. I would presume dusk blade is the equivalent of Eldritch Knight.

So what you're saying is, you realize that you're not a good DM. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Tell them to play Paladin, Bard, Inquisitor or Ranger

I'm lucky if I can get them to meet once a month.

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>that one player

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How would you approach that, then?

Sounds like the other DM houseruled it. I'm not willing to houserule your class just because you're picky about the class name.

You can take some other class, or multiclass, and call it a fighter if you want. Or you can tell me how their mechanics don't do what you want and I might make something for you.

Probably not the best thread to ask this but, is there a balance between keeping your party together and letting them do their own thing? Otherwise if I let them go freely how could I quickly get them to meet up?

Just pick eldritch knight at level 3

Wizard that is good with a blade? And just make up some name

Contrarian faggot spotted. You sound like a That Guy. I recommend you neck yourself. I'd tell you to get out of this hobby, but you don't seem like the type who even plays, just shits up the board by disagreeing with everyone, everywhere.

>Hey user I'm not feeling this character, is it cool if a roll up a new one?
>Sure
>Hey user I feel like this character doesn't have a reason to be with the party?
>I mean this one is a cleric, who has a hero complex and the party is trying to stop a Lich but what did you have in mind ?
>I was thinking like a Scottish Druid, he's like a lorekeeper. A glutton of knowledge sort of thing
>Alright that sounds pretty cool. I think I can work with that
>shows up with a Tabaxi druid that has the attention span of a small child

>Hey user is it cool if I bring a friend/girlfriend to this session?
>Sure
>only play for forty five minutes before dipping

>get messages at 3 am after the session with a bunch of questions and thoughts about the session

Last one isn't bad and can actually make my day/night but sometimes I'm just trying to fucking sleep.

>set up a game with a group of adults in their 20s and 30s
>Sorry, can't make it, gotta look after the kids this weekend
>Can't, painting the house that day
>Can't, my best friend from school is getting married that day
>Giving my dissertation that day
>Working an extra shift that day
>Sorry I'm late, the baby got sick in the car and we had to clean it
>I have to skip this session, I've had 5 hours of sleep in the last 3 days because of work, I'm about to drop
>(provides no warning or explanation at all for not showing up)

>set up a game with a group of teenagers
>perfect attendance for every single session
>*holds up spork* xD
>hey i found this build on the internet
>have you heard of Veeky Forums?
>do you watch Critical Role?
>I stab the king
>I attack the guards
>lolololol rolled a 1, I throw my sword
>you should use this critical fumble table I found, it would be funny
>hey can I use this class I found on dandwiki
>can I play Goku I wanna play Goku
>yiff yiff

I can't win.

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>And just make up some name
>Dirk Magi
>Zweihurgist
>Knifejurer
>Spear Sha'ir
>Theurge scythe
>Khopesh Konjurer Kabal
>Katana Arcana
>Voodoo Sword
>Daodao demonologist
>Parang Nabur Prestidigitator

I feel your pain.

>Hey user. I want to play a guy like this and that.
>Sure. It should be easy enough if you follow char gen in handbook.
>It's too complex, I just want to play. Can you help me?
>...sure. What is "this and that" you mentioned?
>Oh, yeah like this character from a show I saw.
>...so someone from his field of specialization?
>No, I meant him. I want to play as him.
>You want to just copy someones character from a show?
>No, it's my character. I'm creating it.

Had it not been meant for an one-shot I'd have strangled that dumbfuck right there.

This is why you don't play with teenagers.

Its a lot more interesting if you want to do stuff with crits to homebrew a system entirely. I make my melee specialists tell me what they try to hit when they attack, so i can RP an effect nicely, and at higher levels even give a distinct advantage to one character or another in a fight.
For example, on a crit that was aimed at a sword arm, i may have the dude have his arm go limp for a second, and give them another attack at -5

>player one: Hey DM I want to make a human fighter with a basic and reasonable background.
>DM. 10/10 please do.
>Player one: I want to name my human fighter Hūmen Fighter.
>DM: no that's retarded
>Player one: GOD DAMN WHAT A RAILROAD SHIT DM NAZI OPPRESSOR!!!
>DM:.....
>Player 2: I want to name my character "edgelord"
>Player 3: I want to name my character brick.
>DM: ..... Sure.

It was only a 1 or 2 shot, but I was disappointed. It only went downhill.

>I want to play a fighter who can cast spells!
>buys the gift
>buys Margery/spells/etc...
Whoa... it is almost as if D&D rots the brain...

>Borderlands 1

I know that feel, user. You're not alone

Do your parents know you're up this late past your bedtime?

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eldritch knight, 5e

>Hey user is it cool if I bring a friend/girlfriend to this session?
>Sure
>only play for forty five minutes before dipping
I've come to expect that, really. I wouldn't expect most people to stick around for long, no matter how much fun I'm having.

But I want to cast spells NOW and I don't want to spend a Feat to do it.

Arcana Cleric, level 1, has arcane and divine spells, wears medium armor and simple weapons

War Cleric, spells heavy armor and martial weapons and cleric spells

Certain races like elves get spells like drow and eladrin/high elf then just go fighter, there technically you have spells.

Or let him be a fighter with spells and have him be completely ineffective at trying to be a mary sue at every turn. have him be the little bitch that is getting rescued by the normal players

I know this is what it happens. i just get frustrated at times since I have a group of 7 people

These are hilarious
thanks user

Magus?

Stolen

>Complain one day that I can't find a game, and that running for people online is always awful
>Get contacted by a guy in the thread who mentions their current GM is a massive flake, and they need a new one
>It's one of my favorite systems, that's hard as fuck to find people for
>Most of them know what they're doing, and the rest are easily reminded
>They're not assholes and try avoid breaking the system
>They're genuinely interested in the roleplay just as much as I am
>I'm having a fucking blast, and we became fast friends
>They love me running for them, and I love running for them
>We're getting the new guy from the group into more stuff

Keep on going guys, when you find a good group, it's fantastic

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>Travel to Cali for business
>Meet Great 12/10 "newb" Players that are literally the best to DM for.
>Have to leave them to live in another state...
>Sad.jpg
>Meet a great DM, literally the best DM I could even imagine.
>Get a great group of amazing Players!
>Have to leave to go back home.
>Sadagin.gif
>Go back to my old group.
>They are shit at RP, only min max and poorly at that, arnt fun and always bitch, half the group will flake every week, all the players only play PF and are just shit people that only got worse since I left them.

Now I'm trying to form a new group, I almost Wana move to Florida, I hear the taxes are low, business opportunity is high, and people are at a minimum decent or at least fun.

Easy, the fighter has natural aptitude but no known spells or read magic.

If some entity downloads a spell in the player's head he can use it. He can also spend years studying magic.

How about a paladin?
Or a ranger?

>So take a feat to get maneuvers
>But maneuvers aren't the same as spel...
>YES THEY FUCKING ARE!

That's why I use Roll20 now, my group is made of 25 to 28 yo, most of us have trouble driving the whole distance to my table and sleeping there because it kinda mean they have to spend 2 days for a sessions of one night.

If your friends aren't assholes Roll20 should work fine and they will thank you for being able to play even with their restricted time.

Also never plys with teenagers who are between 13 and 19, that's when they just want to be random and funny and see the rpg session as their way of showing off

Just play OSR with the kids, every time they do something senseless the setting kills them off.

>Hey user is it cool if I bring a friend/girlfriend to this session?
>no sorry we can't
>Oh.. okay

And then either they don't show or they show and dont care too much. You should never include other players on the go, it's far better to lose a player for a session because of that than to lose everyone because adding a player at the last moment ruins the session.

Anything for you Veruca.

What state is your old group in?!

Hell.

Ah, It is for such reasons that I avoid the south all-together.

>Want to run some CoC
>Make a murder mystery game
>None of my friends or people at the local Game store want to play
>They only play Pathfinder or DnD because they can take characters to cons even though they never go to them
>They all hate Cthulhu because characters can die
>Go on Roll20 to run it
>Flakey players, bad players and kids
>Finally scrounge a team together
>2 dont show up but other play
>Start to tell the story
>One player just wants to kill everyone steal the mcguffin
>Others like the story but want to be hand held through the plot
>Finally get through the game after like 6 sessions
>Have no desire to play again with randoms or use R20 ever again
Fuck I hate my local area.

Actually its Illinos, second worst state in the country.

Them feels, I feel em to. Keep at it. And don't waste your time once you catch a group being shite.

>Player does various evil things, suffers RP wise
>Party no longer likes PC
>Player doesn't like his PC anymore because no one likes him
>Can I just roll a new character?

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One rule we have in our table that you are always allowed to die.

Sure that's fine.

It's the part where he wants to bail out of any consequences for his actions that disgusts me.

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Did he commit his crimes alone or would be possible to connect him to the group and blame them of association.

If someone fucks up personally I don't think calling it quits is that bad even, people kill themselves all the time. If it was some major shit then it should have larger consequences and the players wouldn't be able to run away from it even if the culprit vanishes.

I'm glad that even the people of Illinois know that California is worse.

I love it when people don't like their PCs anymore so they choose to go out into a blaze of glory

He basically facilitated the primary antagonists rise to power.

It's going to have consequences for the group.

But user, his actions literally have no consequences - you decide what happens within the fictional world as a GM, and your control over the events is all-pervasive in its necessarily arbitrary nature. There is little wrong with a player growing dissatisfied with your decision they cannot control and looking for a way to change things up - that's how good rapport developes.

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>California
>Sixth largest economy in the world
>Worst state in America lol
You live in Kentucky, don't you

Then there is nothing wrong. Our group has unwittingly fucked up so many times that the place where we adventure is a complete minefield.
Half of our hooks are shit we started ourselves.

Then again those were honest (or stupid) mistakes, people might not like it so much if someone fucks up on purpose because he wants to be an edgemaster.

Yes, the rust belt is made of the 1990's, bigotry, malice and evil. I say that for I have lived across it.

All I know about California is that it's too hot and that no one likes it.

Players like internal consistency so there should be an illusion of consequences even if the world is DMs fiction.

You guys don't get to add the black market economy to your overall economic value. Removing the non-tax-paying illegal immigrants leaves you about on par with Illinois itself, which is tragic, because you have almost the entirety of the Western shore to play with.

Besides, there's the issue of New California.

Then you know everything you need to know about it.

The only consequence of murder is a dead corpse.

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I would play several of these classes.

Sometimes several, and always money changing hands.

>Knifejurer
I don’t know why but I really like this one

So a Lightning Warrior?

Just gonna repost from another thread:

>DM keeps making EVERY encounter deadly
>doesn't think encounters are challenging enough unless someone is knocked out every time
>even if players are reduced to almost no HP tit isn't deadly enough unless someone actually hits 0
>party is level 2

>despite being a new DM he is homebrewing every monster to be more deadly
>includes giving Ghouls multi-attack, arbitrarily having 2 Attack actions on their first round of combat, and a poison that gives disadvantage on Con saves against their paralysis effect

>has homebrewed a damage/death system that includes missing limbs
>has very deliberately mentioned someone in the setting who specialises in mechanical limbs seemingly because he expects PCs to lose limbs
>have encountered 3 examples of mechanical limbs in the setting so far (one of which was on a dog)

>homebrewed a molten gold trap
>didn't allow a Dex save until prompted to allow it
>refused to allow Tiefling Wizard to use fire resistance to halve damage from molten gold because she hadn't taken damage in combat for a couple sessions

>Wizard is literally using all her spell slots on Mage Armour and Shield because she could be OHKO by any of the monsters he's using
>he specifically had a Ghoul Disengage from melee and jump 30ft over 2 other party members to attack the Wizard for dealing 2 fire damage to it

>put some kind of mind controlling ooze on zombies that reduces Con daily (hitting 0 turns you undead) while also making you protect the ooze and you become cannibalistically hungry
>ooze infects by contact
>party has 2 Barbarians, 1 Paladin, 1 Rogue

>not just being an eldritch knight

>refused to allow Tiefling Wizard to use fire resistance to halve damage from molten gold because she hadn't taken damage in combat for a couple sessions

How does that work? How does he sell it to players, why do they accept it? If your are fire resistant you won't take as much damage from heat, period.

>Oh yeah, don't worry, we're playing Burning Wheel, you can do anything you want
It's good not to play a shit game

It was connected to the Dex save thing. Initially he was going to give no save at all until an experienced player prompted him to, he allowed a successful save to do half damage and framed it as if he was being generous allowing a save to begin with. The wizard complained but he wouldn't budge. Nothing anyone could really do about it.

>DnD sucks, let's stop playing.
>Okay, how about this other system?
>It sounds good, let's try it.
>What do you mean it doesn't have the same rules as DnD!
>It sucks!
>Why are we playing this shitty system?
>What do you mean I'm not super strong, My strength is listed as 20, and the baseline for a normal human is the same, right? It's NOT!? YOU SUCK!>
>Why aren't we playing D&D?

You could not play or you could ask him to explain what part of the hot metal doesn't do fire damage.

If you let DM get away with obvious bullshit you have no one but yourself to blame. Deadly setting is one thing, combat being something you would rather avoid is fine too but you need consistency.

>Flesh out a bunch of shops for my players to use
>They actually use them all
>But they all feel the need to use 2-3 of them each individually (6 players)
>They all try to haggle

Given it's mostly the fault of having 6 players but I felt so burnt out from this.

Make the options that you want them to use more appealing. Steer them towards a goal without putting up an invisible fence

The entire party complained after the session about it all being too much for level 2 but everyone individually seemed to have their own idea about what was the root of the problem which I dont think helped very much because instead of just getting the message across that the campaign isn't measured by how often PCs take damage or how close they come to losing a limb the DM now has to consider the half dozen perspectives on the issue

>make a character that is shit with money
>can't haggle
>walks into shop buys shit with list price+10%
>saves shitload of time
>DM likes it
>he makes it so that in time I become a preferred customer
>shops stop skinning me on mundane stuff and I get shit that no one else does

Good times

shut the fuck up

This is why you debrief properly. If there are half dozen viewpoints there probably are at least few issues that need to be addressed

>Dirk Magi
>Knifejurer

o fuk i am laffin

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1. Ask the player what exactly he wants from the character instead of just spouting prepacked solutions
2. Explain that rules tems are not in-world terms, and that concept comes before class names.
3. If the player is coming from a different game, work with him to duplicate the concept within your chosen ruleset
4. If the player was using olhouserules, offer to go over them and see if you're available for using them
5. Stop being a faggot

Tl;dr: do what OP did, but be less of a cunt about it.

My players want to go into EVERY. SINGLE. HOUSE. in a village town or city. Each time i have to make up a random guy with no much interesting to say. Sometimes i do make a character who needs something, and then they'll go do that side quest, but then it repeats. If a house is locked they will break in.
The main quest is going pretty slow because of this.

How the fuck do i deal with this? I feel like its largely caused by having a visible map of the settlements so they can see all the buildings, but thats integral to our campaign.

>Also make a character that spends freely
>Retired adventurer, likes it when shopkeepers like him
>Toss gold coins out for the ham-hock-and-cabbage-with-eggs breakfast meals, wave off offers of change
>Keep a journal of information about innkeeps and shopkeeps throughout all the towns we visit
>Remember birthdays
>Bring toys for the kids, tiaras for the wives, and beer for the holidays
>DM hates my goddamned guts
>I don't even care because the rest of the group thinks it's great
>They even bought me a new elephant after my last one died in a tragic barnfire that the DM swears he didn't consider beforehand

Eh, easy come, easy go.

Start making towns that act realistically and throw the breaking and entering hobos into jail and bar them from every business venue.

The mistake you are making is not finding a group of late 20s virgins.

Give them negative consequences for breaking into every single house. Either they waste time that is in short supply, or you have people getting progressively more hostile as these house bandits, or you just have wide swaths of the populace indifferent to them and wanting them to leave so they can go about their daily business.

Have a recent epidemic of break ins lead to a more notable presence of guards in the city, guards that just happen to be near-by whenever the party is thinking about breaking into a house

DM needs to find a new system. Hard games are fine but don't try and force 5e to be something it's not. Run WFRP or an osr game like LotFP.

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I guess i can do that to solve the break ins, but what about the inhabited houses, i cant have everyone out all the time.

>"The fuck are you doing in my house? Get out!"

They knock first.

Unironically this. The group I am part of, only one has a girlfriend. The rest are literal permavirgins, 2 are asexuals and the third is an actual hikki save for when he lets us come to his house play.

Have the NPC not want to deal with solicitors. Or put them on a time limit; actually, the latter is something you should probably be doing anyway.

as edgy as that guy sounds i agree with him.

nothing makes my blood boil like presumptive, narrative adjusting, and vacuous shit-talk from hubristic assholes like there's a guy where i work who does the same thing and let me tell you, having someone who does nothing but muddy the waters to make himself look better by comparison is annoying at best and downright destructive at worst

Don't invite them in

Maybe the family is eating dinner. Maybe theyre trying to fucking sleep. Just tell the party to fuck off

Well the npcs don't have to let them in and commotion will probably draw a lot of attention. Soon everyone is holing up in their houses and someone gets the city guard.

Remember that the players are probably wandering bums in the eyes of law enforcement. If they harass the city folk they will get busted eventually.

Yeah I know that feeling. It gets even better when you have a 20-something with kids who does half the shit in the second set, playing OP characters and doing ridiculous shit. The rest of my group hates him but I honestly don't mind because his chaotic randumbness either contributes to the campaign or he gets rekt when he does idiot shit.

Seriously, though, people who aren't willing to put some effort into the game are low-effort plebs and should be forgotten. If they "gotta look after the kids this weekend" while wifey is out fucking Tyrone, or they can't wait a few fucking weeks to paint their fucking house, then they can stay the fuck out. This is why my plan, once my current group dies, is to just run a West Marches game at my FLGS. People who want to show up and actually put some fucking effort in, will gain levels. Those who don't, won't, and will eventually drop the game. Evolution, baby. It works.

Yeah i guess so. I just always feel like i've got to private something for the players rather than disappoint them, fearing they'll hate my game. I'm like a parent who lets their kid get away with too much.