Describe the dumbest ways in which your characters, or your players' characters, have gotten themselves killed

Describe the dumbest ways in which your characters, or your players' characters, have gotten themselves killed.

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I played an unholy homunculus, I ran headlong into anti-evil magic barrier and exploded.

>Surrounded by secret police group in a bar. Full plate, huge fucking weapons, lead by Milady De Winter lookalike combined with a meatgrinder.
>They are here to make us give up some quest items.
>Someone puts a sword to one of PC's throat as an intimidation tactic
>Cleric thunderwaves as a surprise round, hitting friend and foe alike. Except foes pass their saves
>Cleric shatters, same thing
>Barb lost 2/3 of his HP before he even had a chance to do anything.

Here's another Thunderwave fuckup:

>Sneaking around in a cave with a Wizard, Bard, Fighter and Cleric
>Wizard is pretty new
>Get into a fight, couple of kobolds
>Wizard casts thunderwave
>Entirety of the cave alerted to our presence
>TPK

>one player decided to charge into meele combat, wielding a knife
>against a chimera
>he got mad as he was disemboweled

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>party is in possession of a dismembered, talking skull of an evil warlord
>it tries to get the party to destroy it because it wants to die
>come across what appears to be a bottomless hole/well
>the skull tells them that it's a wellspring of power and that they should toss it down there - "I will emerge as a god and rule these lands again, you shall be my finest advisors!"
>party tells him to forget it and instead the cleric jumps into the well
>falls for a while, passes into the underdark and dies upon impact (I told him this privately)
>other players wait for a few hours
>skull tells them that only undead can use this wellspring, and that they were fools to disobey him
>they believe the skull, mourn their dead friend and go on their merry way
>skull continues to mess with them, eventually the ranger puts everything together and buries the skull on top of a mountain

>Be mastermind rogue based off locke lamora
>Fighting bone devil trying to strong arm me into a deal
>Devil starts losing the fight so he picks me up and flies me off to his hive in the planes of hell
>gametime.jpg
>start thinking of the most convoluted escape plan ever to prove im the smartest bullshit artist to ever live (plus i have a +12 persuasion +12 deception)
> the plan is to infuriate the devil by his making fun of his failed plan and rubbing in the fact that im smarter then him, and he is at my mercy i have all the cards in the situation. infuriated the devil would have stormed into the cell where i set an ambush, where i'd use my hat of disguise and proficiency in disguise to weekend at bernies the devils corpse out the front door and free myself
>he instead sends in 6 guards to grab and torture me and cuts off my tongue.
This was all because i wanted to multiclass trickery domain cleric

GM didn't like a player so he had his character killed eating a handful of peanuts from having an allergic reaction. He refused to change his decision and the guy left in a huff. All because he questioned the GM on some rules/fudged dice rolls for the DMPC.

Why would DMPC have to roll? He can just decide to pass.

>"This place is full of traps! Let's go outside and pull apart the garden! We'll use the trellises to trigger tripwires!"

The garden was full of claymore mines.

He was killing opponents left right and centre during combat while rolling behind his screen out of sight while the rest of us played catch up.

Read: The players were spectators to the GM's cast of Main Character DMPCs

Then why did you agree to play? Just call bullshit when you see it.

>Werewolf Apocalypse
>Guy in the party has a strong fetish
>Goes to use fetish agaisnt horde of spirals
>Fetish not that really strong
>Gets chased and get a player killed and 2 other unconscious
>He lives

That wasn't me, I was just making an observation. I wouldn't play in that situation.

First session with new group. One of the guys is playing a barbarian who doesn't trust anyone. We get teleported into some dungeon. Rogue checks for traps, says the hallway is trapped. Barbarian says "I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" runs down the hallway and dies to traps.

Wait, no, I forgot. That was the second stupidest one. The best one was "Hey, this gate address says it leads to a black hole! It's got to be a fake covering for something great!"

The GM laughing should have been an indication that it was, in fact, a black hole. Roll new characters.

Barbarian grapples a dragon and stabs it while the dragon flies upwards.

After about 6 turns fo stabbing, his HP is dropping too low because the dragon is fighting back.

>I jump off

...are you sure?

>Yeah, I can't take any more hits from the dragon or I'll die.

Alright then.

Falling off of a catwalk.

>2 PCs engulfed by gelatinous cube
>3rd PC (with lowest physical scores) tries to reach in and pull them out

>On a bridge fighting a Roc
>Character due to magic bullshit has gotten three free respawns via the reincarnation spell
>Decide to try to jump off the bridge onto the Roc
>Didn't ask how high the bridge is
>Plummet 300 feet
>Later another party member falls to their death and a third flies down to pick us up

>Be me Rogue trader gm
>Navigator makes warp jump
>Gets really shitty dice rolls
>Rogue trader PC gets annoyed with navigator
>Navigator PC can't handle pressure
>Navigator stops playing
>Rogue trader kills navigator
>Ship is now adrift in space

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>party gets ambushed on the way to the actual dungeon
>they get caught with enemies on either side of a narrow pass
>its goblins, the only really threatening enemies are a couple wargs
>they absolutely fucking panic

>a couple bad rolls and lots of bad tactical decisions later two party members are dead and the rest are completely routed
>the wizard roasted two of his teammates with a fireball
>fighter steps on a bear trap during the first round and gets stuck, party just abandons him to his fate when they retreat
>rogue spent the entire combat trying to climb the cliff face and escape
>these were all 3rd level characters and this was supposed to be a warm up encounter

I have to point out that it wasn't "all of the goblins charge at once" and I even specified only a few of them even looked brave enough to fight.

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>Level 1
>Dungeon
>Party avoids easy as fuck spike trap
>Rogue: "I jump into the spike trap"
>GM: "wtf why"
>Rogue: "To collect the spikes"
>GM: "...sure." *rolls damage.*

My fiancee's character accidentally jumped into a barrel of gunpowder while on fire

Well... At least they're no longer in the warp. Right?

Ha.
>Tried jumping to surprise a huge ass dragon.
>he_knows.jpg
>As I was falling he just looks up and opens his mouth.

I think the bronie gn faps to vore

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Yeah really far and out of their way

>I'll get myself eaten by the monster to kill it from the inside! Wait, what do you mean it chews me?

Poetic.

>Group needs to eavesdrop on some Orcs in a tavern
>"Hey, the Gnome can speak with animals right? Let's toss this housecat through the window and see what it can learn!"
>Barbarian hurls the houscat
>Horribly misses
>Housecat is dead
>Housecat reverts back to its natural, Druidic form
>We killed our new player during their character intro

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But Druids do not die when their animal form gets wrecked, they just drop it and press on, no?

I think the implication was that his throw was bad enough to kill the housecat.

Tried to kill a monster from the inside while it fell into lava.

He got better.

That's fucking hilarious

And if the housecat dies, the Druid just drops his wildshape like it is (almost) nothing, unless we are talking abouy being thrown into lava or some bottomless pit with rightly lethal damage spillover.

>Still me Rogue trader gm
>Create scenario rogue trader is hired by inquisitor to solve a drug problem in Port wander
>Rogue trader sends party and stay in the ship and says techpriest is in charge of the party (due to him being absent)
>Party (techpriest, navigator, astropath and Arch militant) gets to an underground club
>Gets into club
>Telepath knock a drunk unconscious that was stirring trouble with the Arch militant
>Navigator and astropath need to get to a VIP room
>Navigator set up a tarot table to attract a VIP
>Drunken street ganger gets interested
>Astropath reads his mind
>Techpriest ask me to tell if he is straight or gay
>Rolls: he is gay
>Navigator tells ganger to bring his love outside
>Techpriest waits in a alley
>Ambush and kill one of the gangers the other they call the Inquisition to pick him up
>Techpriest ask to use to the guy after the interrogation to make a servitor/skill drone

Mfw the party made a complex plan to kill a gay couple of street gangers and beat unconscious a drunken hobo

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Yes, that is what I meant. That he threw the cat so hard that the animal died, and the druid died.

Guessing then suddenly being in the midst of orcs unprotected is what did him in

>Party does some dumb shit and most of them get arrested
>Me and the Paladin try and break them out of prison
>We fuck it up but no one stops us
>We break out the other two and walk out the front door
>About 100 guards and the guard captain there
>Says he will execute all of use for being dicks
>I challenge him to a duel and say that if I win then we can go free
>Was a dual wielding fighter the captain a rapier user
>I win initiative because improved initiative
>I go first and roll 1-2 on my dice
>DM says I basically try and pull my swords out and throw them in the opposite directions
>With no emotion the guard captain just stabs me in the heart
>Nat 20 and confirmed, get one shotted
>Guard captain and his men laugh so hard at this that they let the team go but ban them from the town

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>Hobomurders in their natural habitat

There's that user's players who were all Aloha Legion double agents but none knew about it.

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Nice failure

Wait... You, The Monster, or the Lava?

I assume the player?

Not a death, but:
>Orc trapped in a small room, has barred the door.
>Party member smashes a hole in the door.
>Instead of just shooting orc through the hole, barbarian sticks his arm through to unbar it.
>While the orc is right there, holding an axe.

The player is talking about what prosthetics he can get his character atm.

I was playing a sorcerer for a while and was getting bored of him. I even told my DM in private I was looking to change things up, so he shouldn't hold back on me. I didn't want to outright just be instakilled, but I was fine with death.
At the start of one session we were going to go to this Dwarven city that was half above ground, half below, that was under siege by a band of Orc's. As we approach I say, "I cast enlarge on myself."
DM start to say, "Ok, su-"
"8 times." I add calmly.
DM just stares at me a moment and says "W-well, hold on, see the Orc's begin firing arrows at y-"
"Ok. I'm over 400 feet tall right now, what do I care?"
DM just says, "Ok, fine, what are you going to do?"
I take a few long strides back, and then begin a sprint towards the city before jumping in the air and screaming my name, "JEROMICUS BLACKICUS!!!!" so loud that it bursts everyone in the city's eardrumbs, and is heard continents away. I deliver a people's elbow straight to the city, and through the earth. As I fall I begin to shrink back down and am crushed by the debris.
No one survived my assault, the city was wiped from the world and my name was written into legend for centuries as "Jeromicus Blackicus, the Black Colossus."
The rest of the part, dumbfounded just walked back to the nearest town where they met my new character and tried to forget the horror they just saw.

I know enlarge shouldn't stack like that, but we didn't know that at the time.

The first character I ever made and played was an edgy fetchling rogue in Pathfinder. He was an assassin for hire who used a heavy crossbow to snipe people from rooftops. Through the events of the campaign, he got turned into a vampire, which he was actually pretty fine with. Unfortunately one of his party members was a dwarf cleric of Sarenrae. Our characters didn’t get along, and when some demonic minions of the campaign’s antagonist secretly approached my rogue with a deal, he was quick to accept. Kill the cleric, and he gets a spot on the evil team. Now this cleric may have been faithful to his goddess, but he was stupid, like borderline autistic, so I thought it would be easy. But, he somehow made it out of 3 separate assasination attempts, narrowly avoiding death each time but without actually figuring out who was behind it.

Eventually the party ended up being captured by demons and forced to fight in an arena for their amusement. I played along when I got paired with the cleric. They stripped us of our gear and threw us both into the ring with rusty short swords. Easy, I thought. But no. The roof to the stadium was slowly being drawn open, causing sunlight to fill an ever larger portion of the arena. Great. But not only this. The cleric managed to smuggle his holy symbol in, and as soon as I made it clear I intended to kill him he made his move. He casted create water, then used metamagic feats to cast bless water in the same turn. At his level, he produced 10 gallons of water over my head, then blessed it as it poured over me. In that one move, I was basically melted into a pool of smoking gore. Then the sunlight hit and I was destroyed.

That's not stupid, that's badass

I felt dumb in the moment for trying to kill a cleric as a vampire, and also I feel a lot of embarrassment over that character these days because he was so fucking edgy and generic. At least he was unapologetically evil, and not “I have a dark past I brood about” evil.

>GMing a game with my roommates
>Party was going to search for missing children in a swamp
>Warned that people had seen undead in the area so they should be careful along with a brief description which indicated it was ghasts.
>Come upon foundations of an old cottage
>Find hole that seems to lead into basement of cottage
>Drop torch down hole to see how deep it is
>30 feet
>Party is discussing how to get into the basement
>Rogue decides fuck it and jumps down the hole
>75% health left
>Immediately attacked by the ghasts hiding in the basement
>Fort save
>Fails, paralyzed
>Torn apart by ghasts before the rest of the party can do anything
>Gets pissy at me for "intentionally killing his character"

Oh boy, I have lots of stories. Here are my two favorites.

First group
>Have this NPC along
>They think (correctly) that she is a traitor to their organization
>Do not quite have enough evidence to have her tried and executed, but drag her along with them so they can keep an eye on her
>Constantly taunt this woman about how they're going to find out the truth and put her up on the block.
>Then, as they're dungeon crawling, they come across this chasm.
>Decide to try to cross it by throwing a rope with a grappling hook over, catching it on some stalagmites, and anchoring it on their side, to make a single strand rope bridge they can shimmy across.
>Decide to all cross at once, without anyone checking on their prisoner.
>Who drops a simple flame spell (equivalent of a level 1 spell) burns the rope on their end, and drops them all in the chasm.

Second group.
>First level equivalents.
>Hired to carry a message from point A to point B.
>Are warned from multiple sources that the road between the two places they're going to is heavily infested by bandits
>Of course, take no precautions whatsoever, just traipse down the road without even having lookouts.
>Bandits ambush them.
>Drop a net on top of them, cover them with crossbows.
>In part because of characterization, and in part to cut them a break since it was their first time out, the bandits just steal their loose change and destroy their arrows and bolts, then leave.
>All in all, maybe 10-15% of their total wealth is lost, and they're just starting out, so that's a pretty small pool to begin with.
>Players start moaning about how the game is impossible.
>Three of the four characters commit suicide IC over it, so they can roll up new people with a starting complement of goods.

>Aloha Legion

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Ah the suicide noobs

Mercy killed/executed by a party member after deciding to go full murderhobo on a famous mage.

Sounds like a retarded GM
>Crit fails mean you just throw your weapon away
>Crit successes instant kill you

I have more stories of idiot player deaths. I'll have to head off for a bit, but when I come back, I can share. Any takers for the following?

>Let's attack a group of people we know are massively stronger than we are?
>Blown up by own teleporter
>Fighter tries to sneak.
>The demon box
>Cheating the demon prince then summoning his vassal demon
>What could go wrong with drinking the poison?

>Be me, playing Half-Orc Barbarian
>First time playing like the rest of our five man group
>Rolling with a ranger, rogue, wizard and another Half-Orc Barbarian who's related my character
>Rogue is a tha/tg/uy person, race is a gnome
>Acts retarded for the entire introduction, haven't even made it out of town for our quest and the DM is already fed up with him.
>Gets the bright idea to "lift the great-axe" from my person while I'm walking around town disguised.
>DM lets out a sigh and says "Roll, I guess."
>Crit-Fails and DM says I notice this instantly and get an action on him.
>Meanwhile the gnome bitches and complains
>I say attempt to swing my arm behind me and back hand the rogue.
>DM chuckles and jokingly remarks that "if you roll a nat 20, you kill him."
>What a surprise
>Nat20
>That guy is furious and the entire table is laughing.
>DM's face is quiet and he lets out a sigh. "Alright that/tg/uy, your character sees a green blur as he receives a sharp thunderous pain strike his head before blacking out, he has died."
>wat.jpg
>Have my character drag his corpse off into the woods and let the animals chew him apart.

I believe that the DM was just fed up with the player not even bothering to play properly and decided to ruin the game. RIP I guess.

First character I ever made for DnD 3.5, I failed a spot check and got shot in the neck by a goblin. Because I was a level 1 wizard and my DM was a sadist we rolled health and I only had 1 hp. The goblin got a crit and did 11 damage, killing me instantly.

I hadn't even finished writing a spell list, and we weren't actually given the option NOT to go hunt down those goblins. He just started describing the scene and asked for spot checks, then said they shoot the wizard first because of course they would.

Stuck his hand in a time vortex to try and grab the mcguffin, then refused to burn a fate point to survive because 'he deserves to die' and the player in question didn't like playing Techpriests after all

>experienced party of 4, playing level 1s
>doing dungeon crawl
>hears unearthly screaming coming from a stairway
>follow it down
>screaming gets louder
>there's signs on the wall saying "turn back!" written in blood
>the party can hear the sounds of screaming stop and the chewing of a large creature
>still continue
>smash down the door
>it's an ogre
>hallway is too small for the ogre to fit through
>party rushes in
>halfling rogue gets initiative, tries to kill the ogre with a dagger
>ogre goes next
>critical hit confirmed, instantly obliterates the halfing
>next the other halfling tries the same
>other characters attack and miss
>next round, ogre obliterates the other halfling
>last 2 members wise up and make a run for it

>a critfail changing your status from armed to unarmed and possibly leaves you in a state unable to react for a round
seems reasonable to me
>a critsuccess against an unarmed target unable to react deals a deadly blow
seems reasonable to me
I mean, shitty coincidence to have those two events happend together, but as long as the DM roll was not fudged i see no problem here.

Is this fucking pasta?

It is now

Player is a 2nd level rogue and rushes headfirst into a squad of goblins. Dies in two hits.
Player is a third level rogue and tries to rob a cockatrice nest by himself. Dies in two hits.
Player is another third level rogue and rushes towards three insect swarms. Dies in two hits.
He will never learn, will he?

> playing Rolemaster and spend several hours passing around the one copy of the book to create characters.
> did I say hours? I meant sessions.
> play a wizard
> other player chooses to play a fighter, and insists he is party leader
> no one else wants to read leadership rules
> first session of actual play.
> leave town, walk down a country road, in a near by field sheep are grazing.
> "everyone make perception checks"
> everyone sees a dragon flying our way
> ohshit.jpg
> fighter: "quick, everyone, hide in among the sheep!"
> my face when the dragon eats the whole flock in one bite, including the PCs...

>> fighter: "quick, everyone, hide in among the food!"
ftfy

What makes it seem like a pasta?
I'm the one who wrote it, so I'm just curious.

>Party starts at level 3
>Find out bandits are extorting local merchant
>Quest to ambush the shit out of them
>Party of 6, two tanks, two gimmicks, two casters
>Cleric and tank pretend to be customers, others hide nearby
>As soon as enemies appear, Cleric casts sunmetal because his God demands their blood
>God of Healing
>After blowing our surprise, gets crit to death by two 1/4th level "rogues"
>rest of the party has to jump out unprepared to damage control
>Two others die to crit immediately after
I really wanted to try that build too...

>Party is in a seige camp
>gets news that a breach has finally been formed
>Party's Big Damn Hero mounts his horse and charges the breach... alone
>Promptly gets cut down by musket and cannon fire

It's too absurd and sounds kind of autistic. Especially that last part, it reads like something you would have seen on /b/ before the dark ages.

Not me, but a party member:

>level 7 druid
>wants heavy armor, but can't wear metal cuz druid
>no nameplate to be found
>DM says there are giant snapping turtles nearby
>will let us use shell to make nameplate
>party wants to do quest thing first, then turtle slaying
>druid wants to go now
>party splits
>druid and girlfriend go for turtle
>party goes for quest
>lvl 7 druid immediately gets swallowed by CR 9 turtle
>girlfriend escapes to find party
>druid is kill
>druid player rages and deletes his character sheet
>be me
>Am aerokineticist
>can fly at will and shoot lightning
>mfw I solo the turtle

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>someone's a forest gnome
>they manage to meme their way into a romantic relationship with a rat
>DM is tired of dealing with weird rat shit
>has it wander off cliff
>he jumps down to catch it

>pathfinder game
>swashbuckler player has insanely high AC for level 4
>after several incidents, thinks he is invincible
>party camping in forest sees fire of orc camp
>he takes off his armor, sneaks over to investigate
>sees member of cult they were fighting talking to orcs
>sets of fireworks to make distraction then sneaks right into camp
>gets spotted because his stealth is shit
>throws lit firework at cultist to blind him
>he makes his save
>orcs chase after him
>he runs everywhere, even when they catch him they can't hit him because he has 26 AC constantly
>he can't fight them because all he has is a shit rapier
>finally he runs toward the temple they had gone to investigate
>goes into antechamber with six sarcophagi
>decides to hide in one
>there is a wraith inside (it was meant to be a potentially-very-deadly trap room)
>he has no magic weapon so he can't kill it
>only one person in the party does
>he gets chased down and slowly life-drained by wraiths because the rest of the party refuses to go help him
>by this point he has spent 1.5 hours dragging things along
>alot of players have gone upstairs
>decide they are sick of his shit and kick him out of the group

When I was like 10 years old I watched one of my dogs chase a cat around the yard and then entangle himself in our barbed wire fence when he tried to leap thru it to get at the cat. He panicked and fought against the wiring and managed to tear open his belly and piece an artery in his leg. He died before we could disentangle him from the fencing and get him to a vet.

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>Go to the local pub to follow up on an NPC lead, the bar's pianist
>One PC goes in, I stand outside the door for security
>Unbeknownst to me, the bad guys rigged the piano to explode if the pianist stops playing (because he spilled their scheme to us)
>Other PC can't defuse the piano bomb, decides to grab the pianist and run like hell
>Runs out the door, doesn't tell me about any of this, I carefully follow him
>WTFBOOM
tl,dr: I got blown up by a piano because a party member didn't so much as say "Run for your life" when shit hit the fan and I forgot Rule #3: "An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody."

On the plus side, the bad guys in that campaign were pretty cool. They were basically the Hell's Angels, but with boars instead of motorcycles.

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> Fucking up all my rolls
> "Might as well roll not to fall off the fucking train at this rate"
> Fall off the train. We all decide to let it happen because it's hilarious.

>WFRP 2e
>We get done killing a fairly powerful daemon using a clearly corrupted sword
>The halfling picks the sword up in full view of the entire group
>gets shot full of arrows and stabbed, then burned to death for good measure

The kicker is that apparently this guy didn’t think we’d murder the hell out of him for picking the sword up, despite every other character voicing their hatred of Chaos multiple times.

>playing a stealth/hacking based character in a cyberpunk game
>general MO is that the loud combat oriented characters go in through the front while I skulk around rooftops/vents/back passageways
>one job, they go in, get into protracted gun fight
>assume that they've drawn the majority of the security down to the first floor
>scale wall, go through window onto second floor
>figure I can acquire the data we came for, leave without being seen, and they can retreat
>go into next room, immediately run into four dudes with guns
>get BTFO
I severely misunderstood how the enemy had chosen to distribute themselves.

I ran into a burning building to warn the people inside it to get out, and the guards impaled me on a spear before I could say anything.

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Teleportation story?

Fat people all look the same to me.

>DM'ing Trail of Cthulhu
>WW1 setting where Earth is actually the eggshell of one of Shub Niggurath's thousand young, all the bloodshed is accelerating it's growth so all kinds of creepy monsters have started to wander the battlefields to feed on the dead and dying
> one player is field medic/nurse, got separated from the party during a chase scene
>Come across half crazed, armed French survivor in the remains of the trenches
>He's clearly unhinged and volatile, but not outright hostile- very much preoccupied with the whole sudden appearance of warped tree monsters thing
>was there really to give PC clues and stuff
> PC's first hamfisted attempt to reach out to the soldier basically gets an aggressive "fuck off" from a clearly traumatized soldier who would have been considered an enemy combatant earlier
>soldier begins to fearfully babble
>"Alright well I attack him"
> wat
>the fucking medic hits him
>soldier obviously doesn't take kindly to this
>rest of the players at the table watch completely baffled as PC in question continues to scuffle with the armed soldier, obviously losing
>" I'm just gonna start running away"
> He makes it about 10 feet before he's shot in the back by the frenchman

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>Sandboxy campaign centered around this magical tower they found.
>Started off just doing a fetch quest to try to get something from it, but it developed into them buying the land and essentially waging a war against the automated defenses to try to master the burg.
>When they venture out of their fortress/deathtrap, it's mostly trying to raise funds or to acquire knowledge in order to continue their campaign against the tower defenses.
>Make a number of enemies in the process.
>Eventually, one of those enemies raises a small army of about 150 people to lay siege to the tower and kill them all.
>Party, even behind the defenses they've mastered, aren't up to taking an army of that size, and decide to pull out of the tower, re-activate a bunch of the defenses, raise an army of their own, and grab it back.
>And they have this handy teleporter by which to make an escape with.
>However, they can't take everything with them, as the teleporter can only move so much mass at a time and the baddies will get in eventually.
>So they're wrecking everything they can't seal away or take with them.
>Part of that is their store of various reagents that power the processes in the tower; in particular, they have this huge magical battery crystal thing.
>Hey, let's use it to power the teleport out! That kills two birds with one stone!
>The amount of power that thing gives off is orders of magnitude greater than what you need to port out. If you do this, you will have about a 90% chance of a disastrous mishap.
>Let's do it anyway!
>The entire tower is destroyed in the ensuing explosion.

Dicided to try and catch an elephant

My character tried to wrestle a mi-go. It just flies up and drops my character to his death

Moria was hard on Pippin and Merry

Do the sneaky fighter

>3.0 had just come out.
>Roll up a 1st or maybe 2nd level party, send them on an adventure
>Traveling to the dungeon.
>Camping outside at night
>Half-orc fighter is on watch.
>Some goblins approach the mostly sleeping party, but the watch-orc succeeds well enough on a listen check to know something is out there, if not exactly what.
>Does not wake rest of party.
>Instead, decides to go off alone to investigate the noise.
>Ask "Are you sure" if he wants to do this.
>Player, to his credit, gets the hint
>Thinks for a long moment.
>If I sneak around in the bushes in my chainmail, they'll hear me coming. I take off my armor first, and THEN go looking for them alone while the rest of the party sleeps.

Lol

My interest is peaked by this Demon Box

What happened then?

Trying to 1v1 a Tarrasque with only my fists. Shockingly I survived longer than expected.

>Play freeform 70s FBI oneshot
>gm is a super autistic /k/ommando
>Enter a firefigh halfway into a major investigation
>Bumbling player who has up until now, failed every roll finally decides to take charge
>Manages to kick ass and save the day with a few lucky shots
>Decides to brag to the party
>Tries to spin his gun around his finger
>Fails the roll
>DM gives him a ton of extra checks to save his stupid ass
>fails every single one
>Bumbling FBI homicide detective fucking shoots himself in the head after single handedly taking out five armed criminals

Attached: 1511840690611.jpg (512x512, 25K)

Just had a TPK in a Rogue Trader game. My fault as I am the Rogue Trader. We were trying to depose a planetary governor who had gone insane and was destroying his own capital hive so we could put a member of my family in charge and secure mining rights. The governor threatened us saying that he had virus bombs on the planet that he would detonate if we interfered. I called his bluff/thought we could kill him before he knew what hit him. The assassination team (a sniper and three death cult assassins) failed to kill him before he ordered the bombs detonated, only because he had both a force field that took one of the hits, and a vitae supplacement cybernetic that stopped him from dying from the hit that went through. Unfortunately, the entire party was on the planet and our bodies were broken down into a flammable gas by the virus and then shorty detonated. We were only on session three or four and it had been going very well. I was really looking forward to the things we were going to do but got over confident. I suppose RT is a game where you're supposed to delegate a lot of stuff but I just think it's fucking boring to just constantly say "we send X to take care of that" and then just passing time to see if it works or not.

Creating the alchemical equivalent of a dirty nuke, and setting it off at almost point-blank range.

It wasn't completely stupid, since the intended target did die. But so did the entire party and most of the city they were in.

He found a den of friendly succubi and lived happily ever after.

>Pirate has a gun against tard friend's forehead
>Tells him he'd better show some respect if he doesn't want to end up splattered across the deck
>"Eat my ass"
>Tard tries to unload a magazine from an assault rifle into her stomach
>Gets splattered across the deck for us to clean up

>Side character, dark elf ranger and PC kitsune warlock escape an underground dwarf city they were backing in a war after unstoppable lizard/ogre/gith horde starts to seige
>Decide to take certain tunnels, warlock has some gobbo servants in tow
>We fail our underground nav checks, go through a very specific tunnel on the way to a neighboring city
>Run into a massive wall my main character made as a choke point.
>Main character has it guarded with gargoyles.
>We fail spot check to discern them from statues
>"Oh boy, lucky for us its empty, all that's here are these incredibly well sculpted gargoyle figures"
>Gargoyles chase us for miles. We fail conditioning, fight, kill one of the three but lose.
>Dark Elf arms broken, Kitsune legs broken
>Gets delivered to main character, has warlocks hands broken too after he got infected with a demon
>Brought back as prisoners to publicly executed
>Dark Elf doesn't want to die a painful death. Starts heckling a former lover's fire cleric Duke. He's a very specific halfbreed. Say some very heinous, racist things to him. Accuse him of being a poor mate for former lover I had some children with, say he'll hurt her in ways she can't even comprehend.
>Duke atomizes Dark Elf while former lover cries, warlock thinks its funny because of a religious/historical irony.
>The warlock was reinstated as a Duke due to legal and parliamentary shenanigans.
>Botched assassination within hours of reinstatement.
>Currently a sentient head on an ogre body plotting his vengeance a hundred miles away.

TL:DR Dark Elf called a Duke a nigger to get out of a painful public execution and traumatize an ex at the same time. Kitsune becomes Dio.