Post some alchemists

Post some alchemists.

Particularly shady/skeevy/evil looking motherfuckers, but all are welcome.

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You'd think running around covered in vials of liquid would be counterproductive. Imagine if you tripped! Stealth would be a nightmare! Just get a nice padded briefcase like a professional.

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So I have an alchemist-
but she ingests her potions via enema.

Go on.....

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Cute little thing.

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The first step is making some sulfuric acid, and then you can use the chamber process to make more. After that it's time to make the everything.

At least use metal vials.

What's better:

Magical or non-magical alchemists (the potions might be magic, but the alchemist simply mixes the ingredients)?

Non-magical magical alchemist. They're using 'natural' processes to combine supernatural elements.

Being McGuyver is great and awesome. More so if the DM is cool and the other players are willing to put up with some exposition.

What's stopping you from McGuyvering yourself supernatural abilities?

Well I mean you certainly can given the correct ingredients and a little GM kindness but it's not an innate thing. You aren't breathing fire, you're just experiencing the consequences of quaffing the combination of fire herb and projectile vomit cap you brewed up a minute ago

Salutations and merriment, my fine friends! Tell me, have you been green about the gills, as of late? Need a little more pep in your step? Those long hours of toil in the fields and the mines got you feeling down and out?

Well, never fear, ladies and gentlemen! I, Doctor Alder Belzenwissels, have come to you, the hardworking, salt-of-the-earth, goodly folk, offering solutions to your ills and aches! My wagon here is replete myriad miraculous medicines to restore vim and vigor to the ailing body and weary soul alike!

You there, my good man! Yes, you! You're looking a little ragged, my fine fellow. Yes, I can tell straight-away that you've got a terrible case of backache! Yes, no doubt, I can tell by the way you walk, that you've had a hard life of labor that's lashed at your long-suffering lumbar! Come up here, fine fellow, here's what I'm going to do for you. Watch, people, as this man takes one sip of Dr. Alder Belzenwissels' Revitalizing Roborant! One sip, and all the pain just melts away!

Yes, my friends, look at him now! His crooked gait replaced with a confident stride as life courses through his body anew! Take the bottle, my good man, on the house! That could be you, ladies and gentlemen! No need to spend your leisure hours bowed and bent, wracked with agony! You too can live a new life, a better life with Alder Belzenwissels! Got a cough? Got an ache? Balding? Bad breath? Too fat? Too thin? I guarantee that I've got a tonic, unguent, oil, or salve to send your worries packing, for only five silver! You can't beat a deal like that, folks, so step right up! First come, first serve!

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That is a poor choice of weapon for someone covered in glass vessels.

One of my friends played an alchemist that would go nuts if anyone implied that he was using magic. He called himself a scientist, claimed that his mathematical formulas were perfectly grounded chemistry, and called casters stupid. In reality, he was accidentally casting spells on his potions and he sucked at actual chemistry, but being a sorcerer he could will the potions to work without even realizing it.

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Not an alchemist, but he certainly looks like a shady one.

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>"You are in requirement of concoctions of the alchemical variety, yes? I have a....vast assortment of chemical delicacies for any predilection...for a price that is."

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I like to think he made it off the island.

He sold himself a boat. It was even faster than the jetski.

Do you think he tried to haggle himself to a better price?

just imagine him looking at himself in a mirror haggling a better price before handing himself the keys and walking on a boat next to him

Nah. He just shifts positions, runs back and forth to face where he was in some dark alley