Veeky Forums, I need relationship advice. Hear me out, it's money/crypto-related

Veeky Forums, I need relationship advice. Hear me out, it's money/crypto-related.

>Be me
>Married
>My wife gets pregnant
>I'm over the moon, can't wait to be a dad
>Kid is born, it's a boy, I'm ecstatic
>Secretly get a paternity test (/r9k/ made me cynical) but feel bad for not fully trusting my wife
>Get the results in the mail, turns out the kid isn't mine
>I break down and start sobbing, have to leave the house so my wife doesn't see
>Not sure whether to leave her because I don't want to lose the house
>Pretend I don't know anything for the next month
>Last Tuesday, someone rings the doorbell
>I answer and it's a guy
>He asks if She follows him out, says she'll be back soon and closes the door behind both of them
>They get into his car and drive off
>I look after someone else's kid for 5 hours
>She comes back at 8pm looking flustered and with wet hair
>I don't say anything and we have dinner

Cont'd in next post.

Other urls found in this thread:

theconcourse.deadspin.com/this-is-what-happens-when-you-ask-reddit-for-legal-advi-1619404235
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I don't need to see the cont., dump the whore.

Kill that bitch. She aint worth your time. Kill her and eat the baby

Cont'd.

>Fast forward a week
>I tell my wife I need to go out of town for 3 days for work
>In reality, I've taken 3 days off work
>I set up a camera in our bedroom
>I spend 3 days in a hotel in the next town over, just shitposting on Veeky Forums and trading crypto
>I get back today and my wife chastises me jokingly for being away when our child is so young
>I force a laugh for a second, then turn and angrily shout, "HA. HA. HA." in her face
>She asks me what's wrong and I say sorry
>I'm overcome with anger again, pick up a vase and throw it at the wall, breaking it
>I say, "Just give me 5 minutes" and storm to my office
>I lock the door and fast forward through the recording
>My heart sinks when I see the guy from last Tuesday walk into the bedroom with her
>They have sex
>She's fucking yelling loud enough that our neighbors could probably hear it
>I'm crying profusely after seeing this
>After fucking her, he stayed in the bed with her overnight
>They did this the next day/night too
>There's even footage of the two of them in their underwear, playing with the child in the bedroom while laughing, holding each other and kissing

And here's the crux of the problem: we're living in a $700,000 house, I have a $70,000 car and I have $100,000 in savings and $400,000 in crypto.

I feel physically sick. I don't think I can go on living with her, but I'm going to get raped by a divorce. What the fuck do I do?

before you even finish: sell everything you jointly own with her, mortgage the house, put all money into cryptos, leave without a trace and change your identity

Damn this is actually really sad

buy monero, transfer to a brand new wallet and claim you were hacked

split everything else

years later, kill them both at the peak of their happiness

>3D women
lol

feels like LARP. I wonder... what's going on with Veeky Forums today?

Wtf, use said video in divorce court. She loses her share.. duh

Can't you prove the adultery with the recorded evidence? Surely there's protections to being cucked out of your $$ when a spouse cheats?

Gonna need some proof OP.

sell EVERYTHING you can and put it into monero. the court can't rape you if they can't prove you own anything
if they somehow find out you sold your shit say you lost it all on drugs or in a casino

Put everything in monero and leave the country so she can't follow you for money. This is your new life now.

thanks for the boner OP

Sell car and go monero. Crypto all in Monero. Go to court and divorce. Split house.

Or pay someone in Monero to kill her

this is the only way
Literally sell the house asap, she will find out that you know OP and get the divorce done before you can consolidate your wealth if you let her

murder the kid for good measure

Surely its a troll , or hes gonna drop some shit coin at the end of this thread. Noone can be this much of a cuck.

go get a fucking prenup dude

this

sorry OP. Liquidate everything and GTFO

Fucking hell, this place really has become le reddit.

So many fucking summerfags on 4ch now. Don't make me goto 8 ffs.

Is this a larp? You are pathetic. Take all the crypto. You know the bitch won't be able to figure out what happened.

So sad OP
at least you knew in time
Sell everything you can
Put it into monero
Divorce that bitch
Move to south america
Start again

Only one thing you can do. Kill her, him and their baby.
/thread

Put all your money into Monero and then just leave without a trace. Never come back.

She cheated so she wouldn’t get shit in the divorce. Ask for Paternity test during court proceedings. You’re home free

if this is true then go talk to a lawyer without telling her or anyone and get the entire process moving so that when it hits her/she does find out it's already an unstoppable force with copious amounts of logged evidence.

i'm telling you right now: do NOT tell her and allow her to lawyer-up first. I'M FUCKING TELLING YOU TO TELL NOBODY AND SPEAK PRIVATELY WITH A LAWYER

btc run, not much to do besides wait it out D:

you sound like the sorta guy that would hold IOTA. DO you?

wtf are these larps. wtf is happening to biz??

she's a woman, it doesn't matter if it's entirely her fault she gets 90% of OP's holdings anyway.

This is like 50% of the plot of The Room, either way I came buckets thanks op.

you dun goofed.

sell the house , sell the car, put all ur savings in monero

I don't know if you are retarded, but with that much money just get a good lawyer and don't tell her anything.
Get a good case going (seems like you have one). Make sure you don't have any other autistic outburts like this or she'll testify that you were crazy and that led to her cheating blablabla.

Disregard whatever the fuck Veeky Forums says.

>people still posting in this thread legitimately trying to solve the problem
>not noticing all the bots spamming monero

Stay golden biz

Liquidate what you can. get rid of crypto. do it all now while your still married. CALL ALL Best divorce attourneys in the county. like serioously meet with like 10 at least. they cannot represent her due to conflict of interest.

oh and when you cash out crypto. save on ssd and hide it in immediate family members house. dont tell them whats on it.

god speed user. I had to help my best friend go through this.

On top of this go and talk to as many of the best divorce lawyers you can where you live. Tell them a lot of information so that when you don’t retain them there is a conflict of interest and they cannot represent your wife

Oh god, and here i am bummed out i lost 50$ in crypto

Thanks for making my day senpai.

kek i love u

This. But also take some shit of hers that is really important. Tell her family of her whorish behavior. Just poop somewhere in the house, such as under the carpet under the couch.

this unironically

ITT: Monero shilling

Exactly, don't you have enough evidence so you don't need to share shit with her.

Or just kill her i dunno

Im so sorry

This. Op you can win this my man.

get into cuckoin or cry later faggots

> Sell all physical assets
> Divorce her
> Put all in MONERO
> Be poor faggot for 1 year
> After a year start cashing out MONERO and live happily MGTOW

Listen to these guys OP

Im le 20 year old so you should listen to my advice.

Divorce seems like a good idea, is there anyway to not get raped if you focus on her child?

this

but only if you can't use the video evidence and paternity tests to fuck her over in divorce court.

Drain all your accounts and liquidate all assets into crypto before she realizes whats happening.

Im not a bot retard

Now this is shill posting

You do own a gun, right?

This

Fuck her up user, fuck her up good

>Tell them a lot of information so that when you don’t retain them there is a conflict of interest and they cannot represent your wife
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H

monero meep moop zorb mone ro

You dont even know what cash out means you fucking brainlet

Put everything in crypto and declare bankruptcy so she doesn't get shit.

Specifically Monero :^)

Don’t forget to buy odn and use the obsidian messenager to hire a hit man for revenge.

I never understood the pity larp.

No one gives a shit about you, this larp isn't going to change that.

>Last Tuesday, someone rings the doorbell
>I answer and it's a guy
>He asks if She follows him out, says she'll be back soon and closes the door behind both of them

such fucking LARP

prerequisite: no more speaking with the slut
1. rent apartment today
2. call some friend and get all your stuff out from that old place
3. fill divorce papers as quickly as possible, ignore the slut at all costs
4. get fit
5. trade crypto

Does this actually work/hold up in court?

This has been said a thousand times already but you should sell & put every single thing in Monero.

Then dump the bitch.

>I'm overcome with anger again, pick up a vase and throw it at the wall, breaking it

ahahaha holy shit you are a male and you did this

That's fucking depressing.

I don't know how it's at in your country, but where I'm from you win 100% in court if wife is caught cheating with hard evidence.
And since the kid isn't yours, you don't have to pay shit to her.

But other than that, liquidate everything and just fucking split.

Begin quietly selling everything.
Hide your sales in the form of gold bars.
Bury that shit in some rural land where nobody goes.
Divorce (it's painful, but MUST happen).
Wait 1 year while seeking counseling.
Finished counsel, collect your treasure and start a new life.

Life goes on, OP. I'm sorry this happened to you :..(
But with a little work things can get better :...)

This is a great advertisement for monero......is this what shilling has come to?

Dude no joke, I know a lot of people here have jokingly said you have to kill her, the baby, and the dude... but I think they are actually right on this one.

That's so much fucking money..... dude no please don't do it. Don't let her fucking have that man. She can't ride off into the sunset like that after burning you. And before you kill you should beat her ass senseless. Torture her. Don't give her the privilage of quick and painless.

>Hide your sales in the form of gold bars.
monero would unironically be better

Act normal. You don't want to give her the slightest heads up you know anything. Leave your joint account if you have one. First thing is first. Go over to the next city and find the best attorney you can there. DOesn't matter, pay big if you have to. Tell him everything. Say what you have (except crypto). Tell him you dont want the kid or the wife. You have the paternity test. You have proof of repeated cheating.


Clear your private in cash instalments, not as one lump some. If you have a true best friend, ask him to hold it. If not, go to your father, not your mother.

Crypto --> Monero.

House: Is the mortgage in your name, hers, or both? You're gonna have a hard time selling ir without her copping on.

Car you can sell, buy crypto--> monero. Go buy a shitty laptop, break it. When divorce lawyers come, you say back up key was on laptop. You thought you could access it via the blockchain back up but you can't. Say something retarded like that so they can actually believe you didn't back up your private key.

Sorry it happened OP

This is illegal.
theconcourse.deadspin.com/this-is-what-happens-when-you-ask-reddit-for-legal-advi-1619404235

Post video or larp

MONERO AND A LAWYER YOU MASSIVE FAGGOT

DO NOT FOLLOW THESE IDIOTS ADVICE, OP

Do not sell a thing.

If you do, it’s going to look like foul play and even if you have the advantage with the recording and the paternity test you will get fucked if it looks like you are trying to hide money.

Women have way too much advantage in divorce cases. You need to look 100% like the victim here to win it, otherwise a judge might fuck you even with all the evidence. Do not do anything that would remotely make you look like a bad guy and gives her lawyers a chance to turn it around.

kek

I will unironically send OP $1000 worth of BTC if he posts the video

t. whale with a raging hard on

1. Take some time (a few months)
Hide the crypto money and claim you got hacked for most of it.
(Get 5 hardware wallets with monero and hide them)
2. No matter what you will take a hit on the house, the car you can sell and downgrade. Spend the cash on something you can sell later

My advice? Sell everything, put money into Dogecoin and live on the moon

first only two responses so could be fake which means Veeky Forums is fucked.

.2 POST THE FUCKING VIDEO.

3. you are going to have to pretend a bit so you can sort your self out foor a clean break off.

just calm down and plan it out

>POST THE FUCKING VIDEO
oh my god why didn't i think to say this? post the vid op

This. Get a fucking top of the line divorce lawyer. If all else fails.....
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER
KILL HER
>KILL HER

they always get thrown out

POST VIDEO OP! Best way to BTFO a roastie

kill her. run off to russia, get arrested, befriend the Mafia while in jail, murdering your cheating wife is considered an honorable deed, come out 10 years later with even more money and mob connections

i'm not saying to kill the guy.

but it's an option

Also post the fucking video already! Let's convert this bitch to meme!

if you signed the birth certificate you are the father now you can get it changed but its pretty tricky. Enjoy paying child support for a kid that isnt even yours.

>Buy an unknown amount of monero
>dump the bitch and the bastard
>move to argentina
>get a spanish/german mix argentinian beauty
>dont work a fucking day in your life with your gains
>????
>profit

Here's list of mistakes you did:
>1. Got IRL woman
>2. Got married
>3. Wanted kids

my hearts racing for you bro I am so sorry

I'm not larping, i'll drop 10,000 with monero if you drop the video here.

Contact me at [email protected] with an address using gpg signed message after posting the video here and your monero address signed with same gpg key, 10,000 USD in monero, live or die op.

post the vid op

Fucking this. 80-90% crypto. Everything else in cash, hide it, you'll need it.

You can also talk to a lawyer with this proof, you'll be able to divorce without having to pay her any shit.

...

the absolute madman

OP here again. My heart's beating like a fucked clock but I've stopped crying. I've been in my office for over an hour so my wife has knocked a few times.

I've heard about friends of friends who have been fucked by divorces even though they could prove cheating, but I'll definitely get in contact with some divorce lawyers tomorrow. This is a ray of hope.

I'm going to sneak out of the house soon and go to a hotel.

Also, this is not a Monero shill thread. Not sure if people are legitimately shilling Monero in my thread or just joking but it's kinda funny either way.

Thanks for all the advice, guys. Even your jokes have lifted my mood a little bit.

holy fuck if that is real. jesus christ I'm so sorry user.