Classic Retirement Problem

>be 25 years old about to barely graduate from college
>gonna land a job making 85k a year.
>spent my earlier years working but I have no money saved up cause I was financially retarded.

Now that I given some background, the problem:
>both parents are immigrants who are both paid under the table
>Because of this neither of them have any retirement funds
>I gain an understanding of TVM and realize I need to help them out
>Ask about their retirement and it's their idea that i am going to support them when they are old and unable to work
Not to sound ungrateful, but fuck that. Of course I am not going to leave them out or abandon them, but there has to be something I can do today in order to mitigate my expenses on caring for them in the future.

So my question for Veeky Forums is: What can I do to help my parents make their own retirement fund? Neither of them have bank accounts btw, so this is something I'd have to set up myself.

Other urls found in this thread:

coinmarketcap.com/currencies/ethgas/
bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started
twitter.com/AnonBabble

tell them to stop spending money and start saving it instead?

if you are in america, they qualify for lots of social services even if paid under the table. at the same time, they made and raised you, you should feel some sense of obligation towards them. finally, if you are in america and a college grad about to walk into an 85k a year job at 25, you basically 100% can become a millionaire. It just comes down to hardwork and desire. So you can have the lifestyle you want AND help your parents if you just aren't a lazy, inconsiderate bitch about things.

They only have like $3000 saved up. They always save up to around ~$6000 and then spend it.

That's why I have to somehow convince them to let me manage their shit and funnel it into some kind of account. But idk what kind of account.

Buy crypto.
Put all your savings into crypto. And HODL. Then you can buy a house for your parents.

Tell them about cryptos and wish them luck

Well I'm going to sleep. Maybe I will do crypto, I have some btc myself that I bought when it was 2000.

Ok, goodnight I hope to find some decent replies in the morning.

would you clean anzu's foreskin?

Just buy EGAS and hold it...13mil max supply and the price is sub $0.10 - at $1 it will only be 13mil market cap and even if it turns out to be a scamcoin thats still 10x returns.
Take a look@ coinmarketcap.com/currencies/ethgas/

Just get rich and sort them out pussy

I'd clean it with my mouth. And you?

Buy crypto and tell them to stop being retarded.

You and your parents have to go back. NO DACA, NO WALL.

Depends how much you like your parents. Mine are shit bags and probably under the assumption that I will support them. However, I will not and they will have to work their mcjobs until they croak.

Its pretty shitty for them to just assume you will take care of them, but I'm not you and your parents are not mine. Moving far away could possibly solve your problem, or you could have them manage rental properties for you if you buy a duplex or something, they could live in one half and make sure the tenants don't fuck up the other half. But fundamentally you cannot care about someone more than they care about themselves. If they're not willing to put aside even 10% of their income (even if that's not enough, it would defer the cost to you), then they must not really care that much about having a comfortable retirement.

Do you think Anzu is still a virgin?

If she's a whore, how many ENG or RLC to have unprotected anal sex with her?

>But idk what kind of account.

First, Make them open bank accounts, how fucking hard is that, it shouldn't even cost them anything, if anything you'll surely find a bank that will literally pay them to open an account there, it's common practice for banks.

Second, they need to save up some money, doesn't matter how, it's not like banks have any good savings plans, 1-3% ROI bitch get out of here, I can't help you with that because my parents are also retarded and I already accepted that I'll have to try and take care of them. Thankfully my country is reforming pensions and shit so they'll be mostly fine without me, but I'll be there if they aren't. Mine are 60+ y/o by now so that's a factor. If yours are younger then you'll probably have a better chance.

Third, you got money, now what?
1. Join crypto, buy a couple of coins, iron hands till end of year, at least 2x ROI at the minimum. (I made 3x since may 17' only fueled by never selling at loss and buying a whole litter of literal trash tier shitcoins)
2. Read this shit bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started and get into that norman investment game for probably solid 5% ROI after inflation.

You can probably explain 2 to your parents, but I implore you to consider option 1 at least partially, you can play both fields.

Her cock is untouched as the driven snow.

She sure seems to like Dust a lot, so...

>I made 3x since may 17' only fueled by never selling at loss
user, I...

I know it's pathetic ok?
stop rubbing it in you cunt

Do you actually have a job or is it just wishful thinking

>Ask about their retirement and it's their idea that i am going to support them when they are old and unable to work

I love my parents but if they dropped that shit on me I would disown them. Especially if I had seen them be financially irresponsible through my childhood.

I'm already 50% up since the year started and I'm in coins that aren't even shilled here yet ok?
I won't be getting this user, I... shit ever again you hear me cumstains
never
again
this year user 100x to the pagani land

Who hurt you, user?

I'm just being a prick. Compared to traditional investing, that's stellar, and definitely preferable to selling low like a biz cuck.

>Be retarded immigrant scum with low IQ parents who never saved anything
>LowIQ parents expect their son who inherited their bad genes to produce for them
>Turn to Veeky Forums to ask how you can best jew your parents.

Putting you people in train cars is going to be a fucking blast.

Send them to uk (or Canada) for check up. Socialist healthcare will euthanize (delayed medical care, wrong diagnosis due to pajeet technology, just don’t give a fuck) them to save money. Problem solved.

My parents don't have a retirement fund either, and they're traveling excessively. Not sure what I'm going to do t b h

Lol, wtf I love socialism now

“Hey Veeky Forums how can I totally Jew my parents? I know they raised me and everything but fuck them!”

Typical Immigrant Scum

85k fresh out of college is insane, live on 30k like the rest of the people your age and invest the rest.