Went out on date with woman last night from tinder

>went out on date with woman last night from tinder.
>when she asked what I do I told her I trade bitcoin and bought in early.
>said I was a multi millionaire, even though Im not.
>we end up fucking on the first date.
>ended up leaving the condom in her garbage can in her washroom, left early before she got up.
>turns out she has schizophrenia and told me how she used the condom to insert my sperm inside her.
>claiming she's now pregnant and I'll have to take care of her the rest of her life.

This was 2 months ago. I'm actually considering suicide at this point. What the fuck do I do? I feel guilty for lying to her about my net worth but she's crazy. Can I somehow tell a lawyer she did this with the condom?

Guys please help. I'm seriously really lost right now and trying to not go back to the drugs like before. Please anons help me.

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>not flushing the condom down the toilet

you deserve it

head over to asktrp

>Implying the sperm cells didn't die till she did it
If you're not LARPing, ask for a DNA test, OP.

She’s prob lying. Have her take me a pregnancy test. Then stay far away

>not flushing the condom
Mistakes were made. You always have to be prepared for this sort of thing when you're rich. Make sure you only use your own supply of condoms too, some girls will give you one but it will have a hole poked in it so you get her pregnant.

pay child support now OP
you know its the right thing to do

Don't stress get paternity test,if she did that you not the only loads she was taking. If it yours then panick. Or if you not poor tell her you give her 1k to abort .

the chance of her actually being pregnant are so low you dont need to worry about it

This is probably impossible. Sperm dies really fast outside of the body. Get a dna test.

absolutely. she is probably talking BS. demand paternity test, see how she will never call back

sperm only lives within the condom for 20 minutes

t. big cum maker

>Not being a virgin
Pathetic

nice larp virgin faggot

Accuse her of rape, or cumstealing or something

thats rape

to be fair, even tho hes larping, sperm has been found to last up to 72 hours

edit pic related

>>when she asked what I do I told her I trade bitcoin and bought in early
>telling a random wymym about your crypto gains on a first date

low quality b8 and larp, stopped reading here
No one can be that dumb, it's fucking impossible.
Must be one of these daily LARP threads "cryptoanon gets cucked by his gf". There are at least few of them every day on /biz

Yeah but not in those conditions.

Yeah inside a woman’s vaginal canal. Not sitting in a condom most likely coated in spermicide. There is absolutely no chance this is possible. None. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

>get pregnant with chads baby
>have no money
>immediately go looking for beta bux and sleep with one right away
>he insists on a condom
>but wait... if he leaves the condom in the trash, this could work...

aside from the condom part this has been happening for thouands of years, possibly hundreds of thousands of years. it happens a lot these days due to hookup culture replacing actual relationships with brief flings on chads cock

I would totally do this. I'm ugly and boring so I feel like I have nothing to offer besides my gains. except I only have 300k so it's even more pathetic.

why didnt u flush the condom
u deserve it all

By your own picture you should realize this sperm would be long dead.

Not only are most condoms lined with spermicide these days, but the inside of a condom is not an ideal environment for sperm survival. They probably died within hours.

Furthermore, even if she dumped them into her pussy right away, she would have needed a fucking turkey baster to get them where they need to be going. Just dumping sperm on top of your pussy while you spread your lips open isn't going to get you pregnant, ever.

If OP isn't larping, his baby momma is.

just ignore
she'll have to prove its your baby, which isn't possible, because it isn't

she found a guy she thought was immature and gullible and inexprienced enough to fall for her roastie tricks and rich enough to support chads baby. thats all

she could be running this scam on a few dudes right now waiting to collect on whichever beta bux program looks best

Just say you lied about having money and laugh at her

This. It wouldn't last that much inside a condom covered in spermicide.

this, im totally paranoid about what happened to you and thats the first thing I always do. I even wrap it in a little bit of toilet paper to make sure its gone

You can buy Saint Kitt and Nevis citizenship for $150k, leave the US the dump your US citizenship.
Then change your name and buy another citizenship in another banana republic

That's probably enough to cut the trail

>If OP isn't larping

>cyh6wlrV
>guise pls i need ur help, pls respond
>1 post by this ID

yeah, totally not a larp

...

Fucking with condom lol
Not cumming in mouth lol
Idiot retard die please

Meh ~ I've done it. Not exactly a first date, but a girl I had met twice before in a bunch of friends going out situation. I tell her about (100x my real) crypto gains during full mania phase, suddenly I'm not a weird unemployed guy, she says I'm a super interesting outside the box thinker and wow your feet are so big and hey I know it's a bit late do you want to come to my house and watch a movie I feel you would love it and I feel really connected to you. Still undecided how many women are like that, but there are a lot of shameless whores.

Dude is still LARPing, but that part I could believe.

this but he didn´t actually buy early so the first step at 150k is too much already

she's not being as dishonest as you think. women have feelings that involve disliking weird guys that have no resources. awkward losers with no resources of course she'll feel nothing for him. but enter the resources and suddnely she is physically capable of feeling attraction. all women are like this and can we really blame them?

imagine theres this fat woman you vaguely know but she's boring. you feel nothing towards her. you don't see her for a year and then out of nowhere you see her again and she's lost weight, she's no longer fat and you realize hey she's actually hot. you go over to talk to her and the personality you didn't notice before because she's fucking boring suddenly seems interesting. you are feeling feelings that you later attempt to justify rationally by convincing yourself that shes special.

men hook up with boring bland as fuck dumb broads because they have are physically attractuve

women hook up with awkward as fuck beta males but only if they are attractive in some way, usually resources

what did you expect? at the end of the day its breeding instncts that drive male-female relations not logic or integrity (that only comes into the picture later and not so often these days)

Joke's on her! You're broke

I don't really disagree with you except on the honesty thing, I think we both behaved like liars. But I don't know how to put it, at some point it feels like interacting with an NPC. I was aware of the little manipulations she was putting in the conversation but it didn't feel that it crossed her mind that maybe I was also manipulating her. Or maybe she did it and she enjoyed it? In any case, if we are mostly programmed behavior then it feels dark the upside of being honest compared to the upside of appearing honest and how people with even less scruples could be using that.

women like playing games and a man capable of playing games back shows reproductive fitness. but women are largely subconscious creatures that aren't as consciously aware as men, so often they play games instinctively. women are all normies and normies are very animalistic and don't think deeply or reflect on things they just do.

Im a (german) law student. Go to the police and tell them about what she did.

>1 post by this ID
Oh look another LARP Thread, sage goes in all fields

Let me tell you why this is bullshit. Sperm isnt as effective as you think it is.
The condom has spermicide inside of it and your sperm was sitting in it for a while at room temp for a decent bit.
Female vaginas also have spermicide in it and their bodies actively try to kill the sperm to prevent defective sperm from reaching the egg.
She would need a turkey baster to even get the sperm close to her ovaries so self inseminate.
Now you also think that she has proof that this is your kid even though shes only 2 months pregnant.
Please larp harder next time.

fuk it dude, load up on iExec and dump her EOY

Only prostitutes hook up with beta rich guys
I'm not even WKing here.. women don't need money that badly these days, makeup and drinks aren't that expensive and most have cushy PR jobs and tons of free shit from ppl especially if they're not ugly. Money doesn't get pussies wet, good looks and maybe celebrity status does. Most roasties can barely stand sitting next to a non-Chad in the subway let alone spending hours talking with him and pretending to enjoy the sex

are you mentally disabled? This is only true if it's inside her body or in some sort of lab.
pls fucking look at ur own picture.
>the absolute state of Veeky Forums

Lol don't worry about it. Regular sex has a pretty low fertilising rate let alone trying to impregnate yourself with a spermicide covered condom

Just a few more replies to get the punters nice and hooked then it's time to post the eth address and start begging

"cumstealing"

I've heard that some whores prefer this option especially if the man is an ice hockey player, they then inseminate themselves with it.

>went out on date with woman last night from tinder.
>last night
>This was 2 months ago.

how can people so retarded

finally someone else noticed it

Is this inches?

pfft

Take a paternity test you fucking retard. Unless you're French then you're fucked.

>>claiming she's now pregnant and I'll have to take care of her the rest of her life.
Why do ameritards believe this?
>Lol lol you came inside me now you must take care of me and muh child xD
Are they this fucking naive and retarded? Enjoy starving with you and your fetus that dies in 3 months.
Jesus Christ if I catch you doing not going straight to her and punching her in the gut or even better simply ignoring her dumb ass then I will book a flight ticket to where you live and teach you how eastern europe handles these smartasses.

God you americans really need a healthy dose of communism the same way us russian needs a healthy dose of capitalism.

french are trashy whores
>tfw mom is french

DO IT FAGGOT
>user stop playing the badass chad, you're just a wimp.
If school bullying and rampant destruction of abandoned buildings has taught us anything is that everything is permitted as long as nobody reports it or you don't get caught.

Youre not married to her and it's illegal to Do dna tests without your consent so chill you just have a kid running out in the world now, nothing to worry about.
Your coins are alrihht

>always recycling old threads topics
er you deserve it, kek?

>women are all normies
HAHHA LUL

DUDE DO NOT GET A PATERNITY TEST! If it is positive you are fucked forever, they cannot do anything without your consent right now, she is a single mother now and you are a free man with a little you out there.
If you cannot raise the child, don't give a shit about it.

It's a good way to get fuck fast.
And twice, according to op's story.

Top kek.
I used to tie the condom, take it with me and throw it away on the way home.
You dumb OP.

Child support doesn't follow you in other countries. If you are a burger or an eurocuck just get the fuck out of there and settle elsewhere, its easy for you people

>I'm not even WKing here.. women don't need money that badly these day
Some does. The most fucked up, the most they need it. Why not?

Date her once more. Then kill her. Easy.

Also: Join the discord group. Pic related.
discord gg/jJTZmyb

why dont just just date her again, and let her drink like 10 shots.
if she is taking 10 shots she is definitely not pregnant if she is not drinking anything, just ask her and take it with your iphone recorder.
if she says she is not pregnant by you, you are fine. if she lies you are also fine, if she says she took the condom cum ( LUL ) and inserminated it, you are also finde because thats not legal in almost every normal country ( some muslim shitholes maybe not, dont know )

Lol just tell her you lost everything in the recent crash

Next time, price-lock your sperm before going out for the night and then unlock the morning after.

>telling a woman you JUST MET how much money you have
dumbest shit you can do, hope this isn't a larp and you pay the price for your idiocy

>clogging someone's toilet just because you think they can get pregnant from a used condom
o lord

you too, I see you you simple minded brute

Dumbass.

I always put hot sauce in my used condoms.

>Not swallowing the rubber after sex
What a fucking retard, there is all sorts of good vitamins, lipids and proteins in semen. And you don't really taste it, you just tie a knot on the kondom, and swallow it whole.. The rubber will degrade in your stomach, you get a free protein shake and you don't have to worry about lunatic women and potential children.

This is why I always add bleach to the condom before I throw it in the garbage.

Rookie mistake user.

if she told you that via text, just screenshot that shit and you're fucking clear

Just tell her in reality you're poor as shit then if she is actually pregnant she'll have no reason to keep it.

>Accuse her of rape

>And twice
Fucking kek

Send us, your Bros, the money; Tell her; watch her cry

go back to drugs, dummy

>Not burning the condom after you use it
ISYGDDT

>cumstealing

How she told you she used it? Any online messenger is a proof. If it was offline, then you're fucked.
Good luck.
>Feminism

lol

He was lying to get laid and it worked

tell her you lied and you are in massive debt and that you actually lost your coins from trading , ask her to marry you and that will figure it out and you are a good guy , she will abort that baby in an instant
you are wellcome

i have a solution OP. just give my your bitcoins so you come up clean during an audit and i will just give them back to you after she divorces you

This

this. schizo is a 2 way street

>rape her
>she mindrapes you back
i dont know op sounds like you were meant for each other

Holy shit kek. This x infinitum

this

OP if your not larping this. anything along this line. show her a fake portfolio with a few doge coin or whatever, and say you lied about your gains cuz of how much you didnt want to lose her. and how you plan on marrying her, how much u love her, ect. being broke and wanting 2 mary a hoe is top of the line cringey for a wymin unless ur a 8/10+ or something

I think it's the exact opposite. The economy is so bad in the west the young women are getting very desperate to marry rich men. Older men are now again in fashion it's like we are back in 50's soon as economy only gets worse, unemployment rises with cost of living. Most women salary you can barely afford live in the cities alone without a man earning a good salary paying for living ==> women get desperate. And in cities there are more women than men. Countriside is filled with single men then again

In the air, semen stays alive for like 15 minutes. She's full of shit, your semen was already inactive.

either you're larping or she is. sperm doesn't survive long outside the body. definitely not overnight. you should still raise that bastard tho cuz you're a cuck

>oh look, it's a faggot
>trip and name on an anonymous message board
It checks out.

Yes OP listen to the these Anons, holy fuck has the Education system failed so many in Burger Land. First of all Sperm dies fast, is impossible for her to insert that sample with out proper procedures. Your Ok OP dont let her KEK You faggot be strong

This

THIS IS THE ONLY WAY FAGET