I've reached a point where I am coming to an anonymous anime image board for advice

I've reached a point where I am coming to an anonymous anime image board for advice.

Now of course I could go to a therapist or anxiety forum, but I need people to cut through the bullshit and tell it to me straight. I'm 20, in college, have a couple close friends. The rest are like acquaintances. Don't really fuck girls besides the occasional tinder match, since I'm not bad looking.

So anyways, I have a decent amount of money now from working and investing, but I feel like I fucking wasted my time at college socially, and it makes me fucking depressed. If you were me right now, with barely a friend circle to at least get introduced to girls, how the fuck do you start?

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kill yourself


Get xanax and learn how to chill

Things will get better

post vegene

Just kill yourself m8, it only gets worse from here

>couple of close friends
>occasional random hookups
>not bad looking

Get out normie

Go to the gym, my man. I've long since become a gym rat but I've met so many cool people and friends at the gym. Got a dozen in a few months at my colleges.

Bonus, you become even more attractive by lifting.

I'm you except 21 and without the good shit, and in community college, get out.

No stay the fuck away from that shit, xannax is evil.

Drop out, college are indoctrination centers, open up a streaming app, get some jailbait fangirls to see you killing yourself live.

Chasing girls is a waste of time.

Make your own life awesome and girls will come. Lift. Make money. Do cool shit with your guy friends.

Depending on your age, tinder
22 y/o here and I've gotten laid 5 times in the last 6 months off tinder, and made 2 new female friends out of the 5
Also taking it slow with the newest one, been hanging out with her for like a month

Just find common interests and make new friends, girls meme too now it's 2018

I go to the gym pretty often. My problem is not my appearance. I literally just don't know what to say to people and how to start conversations.

For fucks sake, join a group of something. Join a fraternity, join the intermural ski team, play ultimate frisbee or some shit. If it's a decent sized college, they'll have 100 groups of people you can just show up and get to know people at while having a good time.

And if that doesn't work, you can always buy bitbean and kill yourself, nigger.

Just buy a doll man. Women ruin investments.

Just talk about anything man, it doesn't really matter sports are a good ice breaker, music whatever

Bee urself

buy Bitkillyourself and BitChill


arrogant piece of shit

join your college bitcoin club you dumb faggot. if you don't have one then start one. you'll have a circle of friends on your level or orbiters trying to get to your level.

Like what am I gonna do, be like "Hey random person, you like music?" Like meeting people seems so unnatural to me, I don't fucking get it.

Just put yourself out there more. Offer to spot someone, ask if they wanna work in and shit. That's easy to do and often leads to conversation. Applies outside of the gym too.

Just being friendly and smiling will make you more approachable, if you do that then other people will end up starting the conversation and not you.

I'm going to legitimately give you advice, coming from a dude who has basically accomplished up until the point, whatever I've wanted to. First and foremost most you need to know yourself, and be honest. Daily self reflection periods are important. It's been proven most people over estimate themselves, think theyre funnier than they are, etc. Be brutally fucking honest with yourself in areas that you suck in. Secondly, don't try to make friends. Just do shit you like doing, go out and enjoy it. And don't be a little pussy about shit. Never smoked weed or done shrooms, do it. Don't know what you want to do? Go try different shit until you find something you like. Start being honest with who you are and what you want now so you don't build the rest of your life on a foundation of bullshit


Research a decent amount about mushrooms and then eat some
Join Clubs if there are any you're remotely interested in at your college

Read "How to win friends and influence people"
Read "The art of seduction"
These 2 books took me from autistic levels of social anxiety to a person who can disarm you with charm before you even know what hits you.
Fair warning, it basically turned me from an autist to a sociopath

Agree. If you take one once every X weeks, ok. But once you are used to it, it’s a tough place to escape from.


Just keep trying to talk to people. It's gonna be awkward, and painful, but the more you do it the better and easier itll get. It's like anything in life, you get better at doing it the more you practice.

couple of close friends is fine bro
you only get like 3-5 in life that are like, really close

like totally. my bff becky reminds me of that literally like all the time.

Hi, bug.
Have this pepe.

So you want more girls, so you can maybe choose one of them to be your official gf, you want more friends, better friends, a bit more popularity, all that stuff?

Ive seen some people from high school go from losers to players and basically the easiest way is to boost yourself up there by finding a popular group of friends and getting in with them. You could improve yourself, go to the gym or whatever but the fact is, the people who never give up and try to make friends and play the social ladder game usually make it the fastest.

I know, right?!

as a person that spent 5 years from 18 to 23 locked in my dorm room jacking off and then the next 5 years from 23 to 28 locked in my basement jacking off:

I would have probably killed myself by now if it wasn't for that one time I took acid and it changed my life completely

Take up some hobbies. Think of things girls like to do. Go take a dance class, or yoga class, or art class, or join a hiking club or reading club. Go to a coffee house that has poetry nights or random things like that. Just say hi to people, and be genuine. Do not think of them as prey you are trying to get... but just new friends that you NEVER intend to do anything with. It'll ease the nerves a bit. Then just be friendly and ask a lot of questions about them and their thoughts and what they do, etc... people LOVE to talk about themselves and will think you are really nice the more you listen to them and genuinely take interest in what they have to say. Do not make moves on anyone. Just focus on making friends... even if it's just with guys to broaden your social to have people to go out with. It's not as hard as it sounds, and the worst that can happen is you go home with the same thing you have now... and more likely after a few outings you'll start meeting new people and making friends. Have hobbies and be passionate about them, it gives you something to talk about and makes you seem interesting. Check meetup dot com for ideas. Just don't be desperate. Make friends first and eventually you'll have a social circle and more opportunities to meet girls. Also, girls are often more trouble than it's worth. Every guy thinks they want sex so bad they take whatever they can get then they get stuck wondering why they thought they needed it so bad. But good luck whatever you do.

Does your school not have any social clubs at all? Go to a social club. Or go to the dining hall and ask some randos if you can sit with them and talk with them. Or talk to people after class, perhaps even asking them if they wanna start a study group.

Hit the gym and get a hobby.

Want a sure way to meet girls? Don't be a creep and hit on everyone who gives you some attention, but go hit some dance classes in your local area like tango or latin dance for beginners. You'll probably hate it, but you'll be talking to girls regularly and learning a skill that separates you from 99.9% of the manlets out there. If you're an incel who reeeeees, have poor hygeine and are just straight unattractive just don't though.

Join a club or organization in your school and get involved. Be open minded and be patient since it will take a while for friendships to be made. Try to pick one where you are able to enjoy participation and arent just there cruising for chicks, and that way you basically cant lose because even if you dont meet a girl you can regard your time well spent

Maybe good advice for a total fucking retard (I don't mean this insultingly) but poor advice as far as being a phony, catering to other people, etc. You'll never be fucking happy if you don't first fulfill your desires. This is that whole "building a life on a shitty foundation" thing I was talking about. It'll work for a while, then you'll wake up years later and realize you're a faggot

i already told him to join/start the bitcoin club at his school but he doesn't want to. what kind of faggot doesn't want to talk to other autists about his favorite subject? baffling.

So you're a bit autistic. Good, maybe you belong here.

Just start with a simple "Hi". It goes easy from there. And don't be a creep, don't go at random people. Talk to people you see often i.e. at the uni.

I'm you but I don't really give a fuck since I have a gf and high self-esteem. Still, I pretty much fucked up my social contacts at the uni.

I forget that I'm basically a real life Chad and most of you guys are probably nerds. Guys it's not rocket science, the key is just genuine, non-arrogant self confidence. How you find that confidence is up to you, nobody likes arrogance though.

I'm in the same place dude. Especially since I'm like "I've got nothing I really feel like saying, I want someone to come up to me and talk"

unironically: people are gay. read books, 99% of people aren't as interesting as good books and books are better than the fiction people will fart your way trying to larp and character-build irl

no one gives a shit about you outside of how you make them feel about themselves. find happiness outside of that dumpster fire, because if you think your happiness hinges on people -- you're fucked, kid

love, a middle-aged, married, successful straight white faggot

I'm feeling generous so ill give you some honest advice user.

Your goals are out of focus. love and friendship are the most important things in life, but not your current priority. indeed, these things could actually hamper you right now.

there was a saying when i was in college: socialize, sleep, study. pick two.

The fact is you are accruing vast amounts of debt just to be in college, you need to make sure you get what you're paying for: a diploma.

a dropout in tech school

ps. you'll find if you stop looking for love, it will find you. but actually, not in some fortune cookie way, but women will notice if you seem "unavailable". that bit of confidence in yourself will attract more wonderful people to you than you could ever find yourself.

I'm 24, graduated college a virgin. How the fuck do you think you wasted anything? My tinder dates didn't even end in a kiss.

>The fact is you are accruing vast amounts of debt just to be in college, you need to make sure you get what you're paying for: a diploma.

Maybe he's not a burger. Uni is free of charge almost everywhere outside of the US/UK

OP, I've been trying to college for 12 years. I'm 30. You haven't wasted yet until you hit the next decade. You've got time!

I recall a FB thread where a high school classmate was asking about what to take before a flight to reduce anxiety. Literally 95% of the responses (and there were at least 20) said "Xanax".

Before I'm reaching for a benzo, I think something like L-Theanine is a lot better.

Btw, OP, L-Theanine is great for anxiety. Naturally found in green tea and it's available at most big box stores. Super inexpensive. I usually find that putting 20-30 mg in a water bottle and sipping off that makes a HUGE difference in reducing anxiety.

If you use too much all the time (say 100mg+ a day), it loses efficacy fairly quickly.

Amen to honesty. Finding time to relax and mediate, even 15 minutes a day (doubly awesome after weed) makes a significant different. We live in a noisy and overly stimulating world.

2nding l-theanine.
Also add magnesium biglycinate, 600-800mg each day, avoid taking with calcium.
Add Vitamin D3 taken with fat, no fibre (high fat milk is good), 5000-10000iu per day, especially in winter.
Take ashwagandha -- ksm-66, not the root extract. 300mg, twice daily.

Before benzos, try propranolol. Do everything you possibly can before reaching for the benzos.

Don't listen to anyone preaching benzos as the ideal route -- look that shit up, it will fuck you hard. Save the benzos for the psych patients.

OP here again. To people who actually know how to talk to people, what's the best way to transition from like talking about school or other mundane shit, to like actually like getting to know someone?

This shit has always baffled me.

I'm gonna look into this, cause I have constant anxiety all day, and I'm not getting a fucking xanax prescription

Haven't tried that. I've been taking SlowMag with 360 mg fish oil, 1000 IU Vitamin D and half a multi-vitamin (half in morning and half at night).

Low-ish on the calcium intake at night, but still there. My understand is that without Vitamin D, calcium tends to kinda randomly deposit itself on bones without strengthening them.

I never thought about Vitamin D with fat. It is fat soluable (as is A, E and K), so smart move.

I also second Vitamin D during winter especially in northern latitudes as we don't get enough sunlight to make our own.

Not familiar with ashwagandha.

Haven't tried propranolol. My dads a doc who is against Xans as well. Benzos should be of last resort.

Our bodies get used to things and it'll get used to Xanax quick if used daily and when you run out, the anxiety will be even worse.

if you must, ask them about themselves. people love talking about themselves. everyone has their own personal spotlight on them in some way.

don't turn it into a talk show scenario as if you're interviewing from behind a desk, but ask questions. be genuinely curious about people. try to get your head into this space where people are 'neat' and 'interesting'. they're a mystery -- solve the mystery. not all at once, but bit by bit. people like feeling special.

That's great news to hear! I've heard Suntheanine is the best brand, but I've been using the Spring Valley brand at Wal-Mart with good results.

I have anxiety at times and L-Theanine helps with conversation. A double bonus is it works very well with caffeine for studying purposes. I generally keep my caffeine intake between 5-20 mg when I do have it and sip it. Low tolerance = huge effects reltaive to the amount I take.

Always take the lowest effective dose and good luck!

Coming from a transfer that had a lot of friends in the period of two semesters:

get involved. I literally joined all the most popular clubs at a big school. It was actually kind of hard to manage them all. There are clubs for everything, literally everything. Tea club is always great for socializing at the colleges I've been to. The cultural ones are also great cause you get to be the only white guy at them. Video game clubs are an easy starter (friendly neets, fun games to play to get to know them on common ground). Drone club. Street perfomers club. Hiking club. Writing club. Political clubs (both sides). Beekeeping club.

You HAVE to get involved. Go to two clubs every night, report back

Propranolol is a beta-blocker. It's commonly used for public speaking, performance anxiety, It is a lot easier to get than benzos, because there is zero potential for abuse. Non-addictive. Basically, you will have zero physical symptoms of anxiety, which makes the mental aspect a lot easier to deal with. Talk to your doctor, it's a reasonable request for anxiety issues and it doesn't make you look like a druggie.

Vitamin d3 intake is far too low. Aim for 5000 at least, 10000 ideally. I'm lazy so no links, but DYOR if you think I'm kidding. You can lower the 10000 to 5000 in the summer when you're getting more sun. SAD is real and shitty and crippling for a lot of people; depression, anxiety, etc.

Yes, benzos are garbage, overprescribed, overabused, and have some of the worst withdrawal symptoms this side of H. Stay the fuck away. It's for people with super-legitimate mental health issues and people that are way dumber than you that will continue to get dumber taking the benzos they take.

Fish oil is good too, but most fish oil you buy in stores sucks. You may want to just eat a tin of good sardines (in water, ideally) a couple times a week. I like the Raincoast brand, quality.

Ashwagandha is an adaptogen. It helps your body cope with stress. Lowers cortisol. Helps with anxiety, depression, negative thoughts. KSM-66 is more potent than the root extract, and between the two I prefer it immensely.

I wish you the best of luck, user. Persistence.

People are still super gay though.

Oh shit, I should add: full-spectrum CBD oil.

Try this, you could be very surprised by the outcome.

Join a club, or stop giving a shit because you'll be done with college in a year and any friends you make now will all move to different parts of the country and you'll fall out of touch except for seeing their bullshit on jewbook.

Join a club/get a hobby that people can do in a group. If you cant meet people through college use some site like Meetup to find ongoing group activities.

go to dorm parties, if you bring weed/alcohol and you can get into most parties easy enough. but probably depends where you alive. easy as fuck for me.

Unironically drugs. Can help with depression/self reflection and social circles expanding depending on a whole lot of things.

Answer me OP

Thanks user, needed some input from someone else in college. I'm always afraid of putting myself out there but people are usually friendlier than I think.

Yeah but like, idk if I'm ever gonna be in an area so concentrated with hot young girls who haven't started to get wrinkly and gross yet. Pussy goes downhill from here, right?

I was pretty much in your situation. During my junior year I did a year abroad. Shit changed my life and made a ton of new friends because pretty much everyone there is by themselves and looking to do shit

I'm an absolute fucking autist and I never talk to anyone at my school. The only lays I have ever had are based off of my looks, because again, I'm a fucking autist.

I've never flirted with a girl, tried to meet girls, or made any effort to do anything. Shit just kinda happens to me by chance, and it makes me feel not in control of my life.

unironically this OP try shrooms/acid it will cut the shit out of you

This is me.
I'm a computer scientist but not one of those autistic tards. Normal looking and play for the university football team, but I just had no idea how to open conversations with people.
Didnt speak with anyone during freshers week and ended up with pretty much 0 friends on my course apart from a couple who are more acquaintances.
It's not even that I cant hold conversation, its that I often can't be bothered to start one in the first place, and find myself mentally exhausted after social interaction, im never quite comfortable around people. As a result im, for the most part a lone wolf on my course.

But recently it's been changing a bit, I dont know what started it but one key thing is to not overthink shit. Anyone you speak to isn't looking for a reaon to dislike you, if anything is looking for a reason to get along with you in order to make a friend. If you say some stupid shit who cares, I've found most awkwardness stems from forcing lines of conversation. Meeting someone new and having a chat about the weather or football is almost always awkward because it's so formal and safe, you're just another bland entry in their daily interactions. Instead I've started by pretending I'm already their friend, and before you know it they'll think you are. Its so easy it's a joke. Joke about, have a laugh, keep it casual and chill and they'll think you're "charismatic".

Tried it with people on my course, they gobble that shit up. It's so easy to feign charisma it's crazy.

Haha I'm CS too, which I guess isn't much of a surprise since this is Veeky Forums.

Ah, ok. I recall talking to my dad a while back about beta-blockers. I think there's one or two serious contraindications IIRC. Sounds like it might be useful.

Took me three attempts to complete a required speech class.

I'll look more into it. I know that 400 is the recommended doses, but figured that 1000 would be sufficient. I'll double check and if so, will at least double to 1000 IU twice a day (multivitamin gives 400 IU I believe) as I like to space out my supplement intake.

Yeah, SAD is bad. My dad got one of those blue light spectrum blasting lights partially for sad, but mainly for sleep. Best when used as indirect light as per his sleep doc. Seems to help.

Aye, most fish oil (especially those without any protection from light) isn't good. Prescription is best type, but I think USP approved ones are ok too.

I have a super aversion to fish. I wish I enjoyed fish, but gah, I literally choke on it. Rest of my family happily eats fish.

I do make up for that by eating a lot of fruits, veggies, nuts and whole grains.

I'll have to give Ashwagandha a go then. Thank you for the info!

I have used full spectrum CBD oil. It's pretty nifty.

Lately I've been experimenting with combining regular vape cartridges (high thc, most of what the plant contains) and then dosing after with some pure CBD. I like the entourage effect.

Too little CBD in weed. :(

where you are now, you have no idea what the bottom will be like

Yeah but you managed to fuck girls on tinder and not even once. I was too autistic for that. My looks are also pretty good and so I went on a few tinder dates but they were all awkard shit that didn't amount to anything

I'm you except 21 never had a job not in college don't have any friends.

Point is it could always be worse user!

Follow up advice, what I said is kind of vague, but the best way I can describe it is by pretending you're already their pal. Jokes are such a powehouse conversational tool, make a good joke and they let their guard down, chill out and relax. You have a much less stressful time after that because if you play your cards right in the opening few lines of a coversation, they already want to like you, brcause you come across as confident, funny and charismatic. Who doesnt want that as a friend.

I'm not the cool kid on my course by any stretch, I think mainly because social interactions seriously exhaust me, and nor can I turn on mega chad charisma, but coming across as confident and pretty charismatic is a hell of a first impression.

Yeah I think I just have very low confidence. Also, I should have clarified, I've only met one girl from Tinder, but it went extremely well cause she's super nerdy like me and we like similar music. If it was any other typical roastie, I would have likely sperged out.

Yeahhh haha not my strong point. Like I'm a person who wants to have a good time and likes to do things, but I am kind of incapable of opening up unless I know someone well. And I know you said you just pretended like they were already your friend, maybe I gotta do that. I guess I'm subconsciously afraid of what could go wrong.

Why do you care?
Being the social butterfly is so much fucking work and you dont really gain that much from it. You lose contact with college friends anyways.

Worry about your studies, save your money, and when you get out into the real world is when being social matters. Youll make friends with your neighbors and coworkers once you are actually out living life.

Adding on to what I said, I had uncontrollable shaking and anxiety the first 3 times I fucking hooked up with this girl. Really glad she didn't notice.

Thanks for the perspective, I gotta save this thread for whenever I skew my own perspective of life. I do this shit a lot

Also ignore all these fucking idiots recommending drugs. The only people who actually NEED drugs to interact with people are actually fucked up.

You just sound like a normal guy who's quiet and introverted.
All it takes is pushing yourself out of your comfort zone by an inch, and you'll find it grows quickly.

In regards to girls, havent figured that one out yet I'm afraid. A few months ago I approached a qt on my course and the amount I overthought it prior was so bad that my hands were shaking, not like a little but but like a full nervous tremour. I was fucking petrified. I have the same with public speaking. But speaking to guys? Ez pz.
If you're anything like me I'd say to not treat girls as a possible relationship, because prior to that you have to genuinely enjoy each others company, so my new technique is really to not approach them hoping for anything, but be chill and funny and see where shit goes, opposed to running up her ass hoping she'll like you romantically.

We tend to notice our own faults much more than others do. They're likely too busy worried about their own faults.

Drugs do have their benefit, but the problem I've found is when they are used in excess. The issue is the figuring out what it moderation, what is excess.

Abused stims, use them on occasion now, but stick mostly to weed.

The gym and the library are your biggest tools at college
Xanax if your a awkward weirdo fag and need help talking to people

Go to both everyday ur you can and you'll be fucking way more girls
That's not even counting the ones you'll end up fucking from class study groups and random social events on campus
I'm 29 and this is what I'd tell my 20yr old self..I turned into a weirdo for a year and got depressed think I had a quarter life crises when I moved off campus to the apts

I'm just like you, low confidence, never really tried to get a gf etc (though I probably don't have as much anxiety), but I'm older and less lucky. Good luck anyway, I hope we'll both make it. I'm currently not focusing on girls anyway and trying to fix other parts of my life.

My only social gifts are that I have a good sense of humour and sharp wit. So making people laugh are really my fall-back conversational filler.

The pretending you're their friend thing isn't even something I've realised I've done until just now after analysing my interactions. A friend i made a few weeks ago has a wide social group which means i often end up surrounded by 5 people i dont know. Me a year ago, hell ever 3 months ago would have just stayed quiet and ghosted, now im joking with people who's names I dont even know.

The worst thing you can do in a conversation is worrying about what can go wrong. Make a bad joke? Point fun at the fact that you're socially retarded or something, there's always ways to wriggle out of awkward situations. Why? Because the other person you're speaking to doesnt want shit to get awkward either, so they'll do their best in a conversation to not make it awkward.

Its a weird thing to do, but i see a conversation between two people as a thing both parties contribute to and build, its really a game of teamwork in a twisted way

There are literally no decent girls on my course.

One QT but she's like proper fem and on a different course to mine.

Agreed fully.
Was just sick of seeing people spamming all kinds of shit in this thread like its some kind of instant cure. Anything that makes you more chill doesnt change your personality, just helps you relax. If that's all you need then fine, but most people need to change their actual psych toward social interactions, something popping a pill wont fix.

I feel you man, there's like 4 qts out of 180 people on my course. 1 i made a pass at, but she turned out to be a complete cunt, leading guys on to boost her ego. Another turned out to have a bf after I made a pass at her. The last 2 are pretty quiet and are always around their friends so can't go for that.

I wish I could give advice user, but my track record with ladies includes being raped by one lmao and thats it

people 20ish are young as fuck, they think theyll be that mixedup/crazy forever. wait till youre 25, 30, cause until then youre pretty much savages

>have a couple close friends. The rest are like acquaintances
>fuck girls from tinder
>depressed because I lack social interacion
what? are you retarded? is this how normies think? Like, no matter how social they are they still feel like they could have fucked more and made more friends?

learn how to play guitar and start a band. play out often as possible, you will meet people - friends and women - and play like you FUCKIN MEAN IT

also, start meditating 20 mins twice a day - upon waking & right before bed - no matter what and no matter how you feel - this will change your life like you can't imagine over time - but you have to commit indefinitely, rain or shine

also, work out somehow. build upper body strength. the confidence that cones with being and feeling strong is not only an anti-depressant, it's a fucking aphrodisiac for the ladies

If you're not interested in what most people have to say, such as people you're forced to interact with like co workers, you'll have to patronize them. Drugs make people a lot more interesting for me. Every once in a while you'll find someone actually interesting that you will enjoy talking to. Just stop being a retard.

Been there done that. I was lucky enough to meet a well known psychologist in my city and he taught me social engineering and persuasion over the course of two years. When i say i was lucky, i mean i literally walked into a random room and a random time while on holiday. I would suggest reading books on social engineering and human manipulation, it sounds disgusting but it truly works - after reading, practice as much as possible, simple things such as going to a local bar and then on to larger things. I went from a socially anxious person to making lifelong friends, true friends.

And on that note, you know what makes people interesting? Having some sort of life experience combined with a cognitive ability to analyze those experiences, and some sort of perspective they can maybe relate to you. You can't be interesting if you suck and dont do anything

Any book recommendations?

I literally do nothing on weekends but sit in my room and do work/code. How am I a normie?

There was one qt that we just licked but she had a bf and her mum died and dropped out last year.

Im talking to this girl in another city and shes just came out of a bad breakup but who knows.

Honestly speaking, It'd my final year. I have a job lined up in my home city.

The last thing on my mind is women, first you get the money.

I would start with the classic How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. After that and with lots of practice the choice is yours, but move on to more advanced subjects on social engineering. Once you have done that then i would recommend moving on to psychological books on human behavior.

I was taught by someone. But if i wasn't, this is what i would do. I have read Dale Carnegies book and even though it's old, it is astonishing how something so simple works.

Talk as you would on Veeky Forums but start with people of importance like your boss or headmaster that way no-one else will seem like that big of a deal.

Oh yeah, it definitely isn't an instant cure. It can make it feel like it is, but the problems one is trying to solve remain there.

Shoot yourself in the face

Drop out of college and live with your mom. Ask your parents to pay you the money you saved. Go all in on Monero.

Will I get 72 virgins?