Coworkers keep making jokes about me shooting up the office

TELL THEM TO SAY IT ONE MORE TIME SEE WHAT HAPPENS

>grassing

don't have an hr department.

I just laugh and pretend it's funny but it makes me feel bad.

I was a neet for a while and I know this sounds like a LARP or troll but it's true. They really do make these jokes I dont know how to reply.

Redditor detected. GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN

ONE, NOTHING WRONG WITH ME

Come on, don't dissapoint the man. Leather trench coat, combat boots and AK aren't that big of an investment.

next time be straight up- it makes me uncomfortable when you make those jokes. Don't try and laugh to make the situation feel comfortable to them

Damn I'd love to work in a place where I wouldn't get checked for 6 months. What kinda place you work in?

Don't laugh about it next time, just give them the stare (not the psycho one, but the one like wtf dude). Then get the faggot back some hours later with something that's weird about him.

hahahaha the long game

dude im not joking. I am very socially adept irl, this is not LARP. Literally just straight up say "your jokes are kind of making me uncomfortable, it's not funny to joke about that shit in times like these." they will legit feel too shitty about saying something possibly offensive that they will just be like "oh fuck, sorry mate my bad," and you will never get made fun of again. the next time they see you they'll probably try and be nice just because they feel like shit since they're normies.

what are some normie secrets that us robots are too retarded to get?

In what bizarro made up LARP world do you live in where your coworkers are making mass shooting jokes? Unless you're working in fast food with a bunch of 14 year olds I really don't think this is real

>dude im not joking. I am very socially adept irl, this is not LARP.

OP please use the new Wojak, tentatively titled "Nujak", please. The old one is ugly and lacks commercial viability.

Thank you.

if you are just generally a nice person youll pretty much never get hated on. If you go out of your way to say hello and be nice you'll actually have some decent friends rather than turtling off super hard. I don't mean walking around and just greeting people especially if you're ugly, but at the beginning of the year when everyone is new groups are established very quickly, just be pretty chill and introduce yourself and people will be chill with you.

Ty I will try to be serious about it

office job in a small business

Go talk to /k/ for your loadout

>office job in a small business

You're full of shit. Go scrub the fryers.

The problem i'm seeing is that I am moderately good looking and nice, and i have about 3 very good friends here at college and about five more medium friends, and a lot more who are chill with me but i never really got to know them.

the issue is that i constantly feel like there's something i'm just not getting or missing. I know that i probably don't but i can't help but i cant help but feel like i stick out socially, like i am always an interloper, and not really 'part of the group'.

i just figured i would seize the opportunity here on Veeky Forums because even though it's full of autists reddit is a hugbox and utterly fake.

/blog post

lmao good shit dude

i think it's clear what you must do user.

lol you little faggot, people all thought i was going to be a school shooter in college and at every work i've been to, its pritty funny because they are partially right, and i feel like a god because nobody will do anything about it and i really can shoot them all up lol

don't do it. do you have any unusually friendly acquaintances who has made an effort to get to know you recently? it's a scam. he wants you to eliminate the top positions so he can move up the corporate ladder.

open carry is legal in many states. the jokes will stop.

is it illegal to shout nigger nigger nigger randomly? no. you will still be fired.

make them feel weird for making the joke.

You are an outsider to the pack. They use ridicule as a show of dominance.

It might seem funny to them but make no mistake, the orchestrator of this is doing this politically to ostracise you from the herd.

You might not fit their social norms and are an unknown. They like their normie world to be simple and understandable. They can't read you and therefore can't control you. You are a threat. Shooting up the office is the extreme they fantasise about in their heads because deep down they are unsure what you are capable of. Not actually shooting up the office but being in line for promotion or working harder than them - which is why they need to cut you down to keep you in line.

Never underestimate the normie and their methods of keeping the herd in check.

How do you counter without coming across as being butthurt?

I think it is not normal actually because it is Trump's America. Americans told us "Donald Trump will save the west blah blah blah trump will save white people god bless the usa thank you" and so on
Now you tell me in 2018 you still not allowed to say nigger yet ? Explai n yourselves

Call the cops on them for projecting on you.

>problem solved

Easiest way is to pacify the normie - small talk about mundane topics. Never reveal anything too personal about yourself that they can use against you.

Keep it simple - the generic hive mind fad on tv, weather, sports - nothing overtly political.

The work place is adversarial in nature unless you are running your own business and have de facto leverage over the herd. If not there will always be some wagecuck trying to undermine you to advance their own position in the eyes of their peers and Mr Shekelstein.

t. Actual emotionless sociopath that manipulates normie wagies daily to further own position

maybe HE secretly wants to shoot up the office and he 'makes jokes' about it hoping that you show signs of wanting to do it.

Is this what you tell yourself? He is a threat and therefor they victimize him? I would say they are the threat. As we all know often CEO'S are said to share traits with psychopaths because they feel more important and do not really give a f***. However, user here seems to be too nice and following the herd and at the also somewhat socially inept.

actually when thinking about it, it is morbid how they fantasize about being killed by someone they hate... I guess it gives some credence to a obscure philosophy where mankind longs for annihilation or some shit.

You shouldn't have told them that you bought BTC @ 19k and then panic sold it @ 6k

It's because you're quiet and often look serious. You don't really have any freeness in the office. You're unattractive and not physically fit. You appear subservient to them so they can easily abuse you.

Do what the other anons told you to do. Make them feel like dicks. Then get Veeky Forums and have some Chad teach you his ways so you can fuck those dudes gfs

>people bullying potential school shooters in the current year like suicidal retards

cool story bro

laugh along with it but start bringing in gun magazines to read during lunch and other subtle type hints that actually make them scared

You need to show dominance. Next time they make fun of you, you straight up look them in eyes and tell them with a deadly serious tone following:

>"Do you have the slightest idea what I have done in Syria and Iraq? Do you think that you are important enough for me in order to beat the shit out of you? I will tell you what, next time you mention my name I will call CENTCOM and the agency and give them your name. They will then deport you to a black site in Gdansk or Marrakesh."

FFOOOOUUURRRRRR!!!!!

what a bitch. Everyone will just laugh end up laughing behind your back for not being able to handle any banter

Sue them for workplace bullying

Fuck off reddit kike

In general how stupid are normies really? Is it easy to manipulate them?

Yeah, don't do this. Go along with the joke. It'll pass.

Just laugh it up.
>'stacy, did you eat my yogurt?'
>'yeah; what're you gonna do: shoot up the place?'
>'hahahah, yeah, i just might! or maybe i'll just tell your black boyfriend about how you're sucking every cock in this office, and just let him absolutely chimp out and murder you, you dumb cunt, oh hohohoh!'
>'chad, you are too much!'

...and, like, one day, some random guy comes into the office
>nobody knows you hired him from a cut-rate assassin market on the dark web
with a gun to start shooting up the place, but you stop him cold in his tracks with a single shot to the head, saving the miserable lives of all your worthless coworkers.
>browse /k/

It only worked for me because I'm Iraqi and people knew that my father was a high ranking military officer.

also, try following:

>*normie makes fun of you*
>you:"who are you again?"
>*normies make fun of you again*
>you:"I don't even know your name"

this will instantly completely demoralize them and make them feel worthless

Let’s see a pic of yourself op. Include benis in the shot.

Im crying bro hahaha

This but without the HR threat. “Dude chill out.” They’re openly calling you creepy because they want to make you aware of it. You need to respond in a way that puts them at ease.

im navy, people in my department make both suicide and mass shooting jokes every day, sometimes people follow through on the suicide bits

100% this

...

I worked in political consulting and people make frat jokes constantly.

WHY would you tell your co-workers where you're investing your money? You think they want to hear you bragging about your gains?

You deserve everything you get.

You caring is why they've labeled you a beta male
Next time they make a joke ignore them completely
When they press the issue just ask them to let you know when they're done, you'll be getting shit done in the meantime
Alphas care about their own self opinion above all else
You cannot control what you look like or what your talents are, you can control who you are
Take control of what you can and fuck the world

t. free

Bunch of autists leading the autists here jesus.

Confirmed roastie here. Got lucky and found out about eth on the misc in Dec 2016. Found biz soon after.

All you gotta do is say something like
"Haha jesus man, you don;t shut up I'll come in and shoot you" Say it playfully, jokingly, a bit of banter. It's nauseating for you, but its their language.

Then kind of look around to the other guys, say something like "How much toilet paper do you guys need to clean the shit out of yoru ears after this guys speaks?". Again say it jokingly/ banterfully. Then just shake your head slightly while begining to look down at the paper or whatever in your hands at your desk and have a slight laugh to yourself.

Congrats you are confirmed roastie. You gotta be able to slag/ playfully insult guys. Girls bitch, and guys jokingly insult each other. YOu don't communciate via that, you're an outside unless your status allows you to rise above those actions.

Was a complete normie. Biz and such has made me a bit of an autist, and somewhat sexist if I'm being honest lol

ALAHU AKBAR MY BROTHER

"Yeah well i had sexual realtions with your mother last night!!!!"

>NPC talks shit about you
>you actually get butthurt about it

Normies aren't real people. They're like the characters in Skyrim with throwaway lines. No need to give a shit about their pre-programmed "opinions".

say your brother died in sandy hook

Agree and amplify or laugh it off

Just tell them, they werent on your list before but are now.
Maybe it's cause you are a bitch who cant take a joke? thats kinda the school. shooter type.

You do sound like an emotionless sociopath with a great insight on how people behave in society, reading your description is entertaining

say you had a friend that died in a school shooting

Too bad his suggestion requires watching TV though, I'd rather get the harassment.

>nujack
Off yourself you fucking nigger kike.

Lmao i had this happen at 1 job and something like it at another 1

just know the names and the general gist of some shows and be like oh yeah I watched the first episode but never finished or oh I've heard of that/is it good. requires some listening tho

Tell them not to come to work tomorrow

Copy Tom Cruise's mannerisms here.

youtube.com/watch?v=9D7WzCDT_0s

"Now, why would you say that? Why would you say that? No no, come here. What's so funny about that? That's incredibly rude. Incredibly rude."

extremely stupid. 90% of them do nothing but just copy each other to fit in.

at my dorm, there is a kind of de-facto lead room that everybody hangs out with and is at the top of the dominance hierarchy. the cuntbags who live in there have pretty big influence over the social situation of the whole floor. the greater of the two roommates who lives there is a pessimistic failed chat who stands about 5'4" and is basically a party pooper. he only exists to shoot things down and shill what he personally likes as if his opinion is rooted in anything other than just appearing pretentious. he wants to SEEM original by filling his room with things that nobody else on the floor would really think to get but he just takes everything from reddit. the lesser of the two is a short, fat, greasy, acne riddled, cynic jerk who sits like a faggot on his computer all day. anything that comes out of his mouth is invariably critical of something and you can tell that he cares a lot about only having non-mainstream opinions (though really, he just takes everything from reddit and acts like he thought of it all himself).

the aforementioned people are pretty low teir, and in a vacuum you would basically see them as completely pathetic. but the whole ordeal has given me a really interesting window into the mind of the normie.

their whole deal is that they want to AVOID being ostracized as much as possible. as a result, they will naturally copy anyone who is both opinionated and appears cool, or at least somewhat original. the idea is that their disapproval is kind of like a gun. people naturally want to seem as small a target as possible, so their natural inclination is to get behind the person with the gun rather than stand in front of him.

failed chad has a skateboard? suddenly 'boarding' is the new thing for the whole floor.
failed chad has a sensii? now everybody else has one.

they're all just copycats. they try so hard to be cool that they become completely bland.

the idea is that to get to become the de-facto "top guy" you have do nice things and give off a low level vibe of "if you don't play along i'm going to shit talk you behind your back", but you cannot be personable. or at least that's how it is with normies.

but i think it's important to not paint with a giant brush. normies are kind of the middle teir. very handsome / confident people are culturally normies but they do not behave like them socially. I think normies are best characterized as simply unoriginal. they are a social blank canvas. they are painted onto and kind of morph into an amalgimation of whatever will catch them the least flak socially. that's why fads always catch on with them, but not the toppest or lowwest tier people.

you can tell who the shit-teir people who you don't even want to bother getting to know are because they try their hardest to fit in.

top lads. dedicated to the meme.

buy a new gun and brag to your coworkers about it every day, act more excited than you ever have about anything before. the jokes will stop immediately.

Also take like 100 pictures with your phone and try to show them to your coworkers, scroll through them really fast so they see how you have so many pictures of it.

What are you complaining about? Now they won’t fire you out of fear of retaliation.

It’s shit talk just shit talk back
>yeah well I wouldn’t have to shoot this place if up if Didn’t have to look at bills ugly mug
>when I shoot this place up I’m killing John first, someone needs to put him out of his misery, I mean just look at that fat gut

Call the FBI and tell them your co workers keep making remarks about terrorism.

bretty funny post

Late but throwing this idea in anyways. Shoot up the office, OP.

You sound like me.

Well done lad.

shoot up the office op

Haha yeah I shit talked back the other day.
>Yeah well you'd all deserve it. I mean hahaha can you imagine! I'd blow your fucking head off first, your brain matter splattered against Cindy as she shrieks in terror. Your skull fragments embedded into your cubicle. HAhahaha, yeah I wonder who's going to have spend days pulling your skull fragments out. And I'm just gonna decimate your body with a 12 gauge, you're going to be a pile of sludge that they're going to have to shove in a plastic bag and dump into your casket. Hahahaha yeah I can imagine the dumb faces of your family members as they realize that inside the casket is just a pile of human sludge hahahaha

OP here. Forgot I made this thread, just read through all the posts... I'm going to take this seriously from now and not play along with their bullshit. I won't laugh at their cruel jokes about me or how i look anymore.

look at those numbers. respect his onion

become handsome

By shooting up the office

I went from being massively bullied at my university (think president of the faculty fucking up my powerpoints to make me look stupid) to head chad of the international university that I went to

Being popular (and taking huge pains not to show my real self) was such a huge burden that it basically pushed me into being a loner to this day.