Any advice on my CV Veeky Forums? former NEET here who just want to get a job...

Let me get this straight: you aren't in school, don't have a degree, and you've never held a job or had any real responsibility ever but you want to be a database admin? Holy fucking kek my sides
Just apply to Best Buy or some shit man

My advise for you would be to lie.
Just put in work experience that is unrelated to the job you're applying for.
Example:
>you want to apply for walmart average job
>put in your resume 5 years of work experience at a restaurant

During the interview, mention that it was a small restaurant owned by your uncle that closed. Just say that you washed the dishes and shit, whatever. If they ask for reference number, give them the number of an out-of-service number. If they ever come back at you saying it's out of service, tell them you'll talk to your uncle, he might have change his cell phone number, you haven't seen him in a while.
Give a relative's number and explain the whole gig. Offer $100 if they go through and you get hired

Dont have an uncle. My parents were only childs so dont have any aunts or uncles or cousins. grandparents are dead

You're either a good troll or an actual autist.
Say it was your father's restaurant then. Whatever

>implying they’ll waste their time calling to inform you that the fake number you gave them is fake
>implying you’ve ever had a decent job and know what you’re talking about
Fucking retard. I can smell the Doritos and piss-bottles through my phone.

This is a really sad resume user.

Post feminine penis

You'd do well on clerk or data encoding duties. Aim low with this resume.

If he applies for a shit job they prolly won't even call

It's not really necessary to have the "Profile" section. It's so generic, everyone is going to say that they are "strongly driven and motivated."
You don't seem to have experience, the section should be referred to as "Education." If you went to school, list some courses relevant to knowing what to do on the job you're applying for. And why are you listing your grades? You haven't excelled in anything.
Your hobbies and interests section is not important. Keep all of writing to 1-2 lines per bullet if possible. Resumes are glossed over, not read.
You should check out example resumes. If you're looking for an entry-level, non-specialized job, they WILL interview you if you have a resume that isn't shit. I'm not trying to be an asshole here, but I don't get what you're gunning for with this resume. You're not going to get a database admin job without experience, proven ability, and/or coming from a related job. You will need to work your way up A LOT from here.

How old are you? This isn't really much. Also i'd put reading into interests and stuff like that.

who the fuck puts their high school grades on a CV?

also why are you looking for a database admin job whilst having zero experience in anything related to databases?

You gonna use excel? lmao

It's pretty bad, you'll need a few guideline to make it more appealing, the employer won't bother a second if it look like shit or is unreadeable. It should be compact clear and structured. A bit of color helps too!;

Here's my resume, i'm 21 from France (so some rules for resume may vary a bit, like the identity photo). (I'm well aware that this resume isn't perfect too, but it could be a good starting point).

1. give it a bit better presentation (also everything should be put on one page
2. don't put your grades like that, only a general grade, and only if it a good one (we have in frogland several passings levels , the "mentions") like did you pass or not your school
3. when don't have much of experience, don't put it first. (always put first the most valuable thing about you)
4.profile section is useless (as said), better put what kind of job you're looking for and for how much time.
5. As you don't have much experience, put every possible intership you have done (even a shit one that lasted only 2 weeks for exemple.
6. Create a language section skills
7. Create a general skill section (proficiency in exel, etc...), if you don(t have much of them, just follow 3-4 online courses that can be done in a week each
8. in hobbies avoid for now to put crypto in it as it's still viewed pretty bad by normies, you'll pass for them to a gambler (just put interested in decentralized network technology or something), unless you're applying ina related field
9. put any shit you've worked on (personals projects whatever that may be), or niche skill (not game related tho)
10. Keep in mind that the employer is aware that at 20 you can't have much experience, no need to have 10 jobs listed.
11. put also in hobbies any sport you are doing or have done to a respectable level, also any travels you've made
12. if you have to lie, don't do it too much or you'll be busted in 2 seconds, just enouth to give an impression a bit better.

Hope it helps user, gl

Kek