You awake the next morning and have been rewarded with $5M (20,000 Monero) in your account, courtesy of your local coin diety.
How do you cash out in under 5 years without spending the rest of your life in jail?
Best idea I've had is to set up a fake BTC lottery company over Tor and award yourself $2M in coin. After the 39% cut to the IRS, you're left with $1.2M. I think there's got to be better ideas that don't involve 5,000 sub$1k LBC transactions.
Why would I be spending the rest of my life in jail?
They ask where it came from and I tell them it was a probably a gift from kek, and they can see my actual trading on some other accounts.
Buy a shit ton of drugs and resell locally
this
They would be up your ass for years and try to find out where you got it but if you actually were gifted by a deity I guess they wouldnt find anything on you.
Worst they can do is tax you the maximum percent possible in your country.
> I tell them it was a probably a gift from kek
Come with us, user. We're going to have to freeze your funds indefinitely until the investigation concludes.
> Buy a shit ton of drugs and resell locally
> without spending the rest of your life in jail
Foolproof plan user, become a major drug dealer!
Precious metals.
This is where you come up with the plausible explanation to even allow you to keep an after-tax amount.
> buys product in bitcoin
> realizes he has to sell to real people
> sells his first 10k of product
> gets killed by mexicans
No different from fiat in terms of attracting attention.
You fuckers over think this. You say you bought them when it was like $2 with mined btc or whatever and pay your capital gains tax like a good boy. IRS will literally even know it was ever XMR. They'll only see a 1099 filed from coinbase saying they gave you dollars for bitcoin. IRS also doesn't care if you're paying your taxes.
Either that or buy a citizenship in Monaco and cash it out tax free. It's only like 500k or so.
That should read, IRS doesn't care AS LONG AS you're paying your taxes. IRS will only investigate you if they think you're shortchanging them or laundering money.
Please provide proof of original purchase.
Put down it was a gift from Kek. If they investigate me I will claim religious discrimination. You have to have faith, user.
WOULD THIS WORK?
pay pajeets to create shapeshift.io clone
move coins back and forth until fees decimated it and you own it as earning from your business
buy traffic and ads with some coins to actually make your shapeshift clone a legit business
WOULD THIS WORK?
this could actually work
LOL
>WOULD THIS WORK?
>pay pajeets to create shapeshift.io clone
>move coins back and forth until fees decimated it and you own it as earning from your business
>buy traffic and ads with some coins to actually make your shapeshift clone a legit business
>WOULD THIS WORK?
You would still need to pay taxes on your business, which if we're talking about $1M+, you'll pay 34% + 100k, which is just marginally better than my idea of wining a fake lottery, except just a lot more unnecessary work.
yea I guess OP would be fine with taxes in that case. The point is to get the money somewhere where you can pay taxes on it
also faking a lottery is much harder. OP could literally run his shapeshift clone as a legitimate business
The only problem I see is that the volume of traffic you'd need with 1-2% fees could be $100M to wash $1M worth of coins. There could be questions asked as to why your service is so successful.
Would that be preferred to claiming profits as capital gains tax on just a passive investment if no proof of original purchase exists?
He would have to create and finance his service with his actual earned IRL money I guess. and run it for a while until he can slowly start washing.
Can you not just tell them it was an accidental transfer to you wallet due to the nature of crypto?
"$5M accident lul"
>hey Veeky Forums how do i launder my ill gotten gains??: the thinly veiled thread
unless it was a private blockchain on all coins used they would see that it's the same money going back and forth. if it all the funds were recorded on a private blockchain that just makes it really suspicious and they might seize your funds and computer until investigation over
>gets disemboweled by mexicans and posted on the internet
On second thought, you should definitlely do this.
Oh no they'll seize my funds for a few months until they find out there is no evidence of laundering because I'm telling the truth.
Setup a business that sells local monero for cash.
There is a severe lack of localmonero options.
The nature of monero is that people want to avoid prodiving 50 million documents of identity to centralized exchanges.
Sell it at slightly higher rates and make bank.
Which is why I think a normie winning a one-time lottery and being paid in monero would be a lot less suspicious.
Im mexican I approve this
Need MSB license for that in any state other than Montana as of 2018. Many states also require $100k in assets, unless you're in a state like AL. In any case you will be attracting a lot of attention.
lmao