Brother is struggling and being enabled by family
Lives at home for free
Has car and student loan payments but no job or income
Family trying to figure out what's going on, why won't he listen or get a job
I tell them nothing will change until he has to face some real consequence for just sitting around and not working
They get mad at me and tell me to stop talking about it for today
I push back and they get angry and shout me down, remind me how they helped me 10 years ago
Meanwhile I always had a job and never tried to just sit around and do nothing, and it's beside the point anyway
Family member lightly tries to slap my face and tells me to respect their wishes
I tell them to never touch me again
Now things are calm but I'm worried for my brother since he's being enabled obviously
And my dad for some reason sides with everyone else and tells me just to drop it for today
Mfw my choice is to cut contact with entire family and let the situation blow up, or silently let it blow up and feel helpless
Help biz, help
Should I cut contact with my toxic family?
Brother is struggling and being enabled by family
your bro is balls deep in link but your parents ain't saying shit because you'll be a poorfag wagie forever and they'll be rich
Who the fuck cares? Your brother sounds like a faggot and you should have punched the rets of your family in the face for being stupid and not listening just kill them all you fucking doublenigger
Not at all
He blows money/runs up debt on clothes and vidya
I don't spend much at all and roll all available money into crypto
he might secretly be very depressed if he doesn't do anything
Hard to blame him, he's been enabled since forever but I guess at some point you gotta take responsibility
Then again why work when you don't have to
Problem is my family is retarded with money so they can't afford to sustain it
Yeah I'm sure he's depressed and uses vidya and likely porn to numb his feelings which obviously is a disaster
Is there any hope to fix this?
dont do anything drastic unless it's clear they're extremely extremely bad for you (like, drug addicts, mental illness, stealing level stuff). many peoples families are very difficult people, but its worth putting in some sacrifice because having a relationship with your family even if its difficult is a good and healthy thing. set up healthy boundaries, if yu need to take some space do that, but dont do anything drastic unless theyve been truly abusive to you or are really ruining your life. youre going to have to deal with a lot of shitty and unpleasant people in your life so trying to be able to bear it is helpful.
try to encourage him to exercise and get out of the house
sorry for joking but he might have mental issues I was in a similar spot 3 years ago and just sat around smoking weed all day to cover up how depressed I was
I don't know how to fix this issue but it's his life and luckily your parents are supportive enough to keep him from being homeless
everyone has problems and sometimes being family is all you can do
This. I got called a lazy ass for years and i was just depressed
Just let them sit on it. They're in denial and won't move from that position until forced. Detach yourself emotionally from his bullshit and their concern with it. In the mean time, confide 1 to 1 with your dad. He's being a push over bitch about it but he still has his stance, he's just being non confrontational about it which is more than likely why your brother is the way he is but regardless. Have a chat with dad, get his stance and give yours in an open, no bullshit manner he can respect, don't do it with the intention of changing his stance or getting him to be vocal about it with the family. Just get someone on your side, let your full perspective and concerns be heard and you'll feel better about it, from there you and your dad can take some steps.
Your mistake is thinking that talking to the whole family is the way about it. Too many emotionally skewed women to muddy the water with too much agreeable "just give him time" bullshit.
also OP when you're together with you family it's a special time where an argument (although constructive) isn't the time and place
but like I said it's a delicate situation and I hope your brother gets it together
You need to get out but id continue talking to your brother to try and help him
Family is super important to me but is different for everyone
dude don't take it out on your whole family cause your brother's being a shit
Good advice thank you
Biz truly the best board
Never considered all the women and their influence
your bro's brain might not be working properly
try going on a hike with him so some endorphins get pumping and hear him out if he wants to talk about any issues
it's natural to progress in life and he probably doesn't want to voluntarily embrace the neet life
I live on my own and have my own bills, car, apartment etc that I pay using my own wagekeking
But I live close enough where I see my extended family once a week or so
Aunts uncles grandparents cousins all live clustered together within about 10 mile radius
You're not telling the full story, explain exactly how your family helped you 10 years ago
Take your brother out to hang out or exercise and help his mind get out of the slump. I doubt you want him to kill himself if he's depressed.
Family steered him down the wrong path
They told him to go to college and rack up huge debt
Told him to buy brand new car with literally a minimum wage job that he ended up losing a month later
They "tell him" to get a job or do something but he doesn't listen, and why would he? No consequences. They are enabling him but also ruining any chance of future success because he's growing up thinking he doesn't actually have to have any responsibilities
>drug addicts, mental illness, stealing level stuff
My family is like this and they are making my life hell. I think I need to gtfo and let them figure shit out. Here's my story - Be me...have a good fucking job...one brother gets arrested for being retarded theiving nigger, other brother crashes car like 4th time in 3 years because drunk or pills. Begs me for work to repair car and get his life on track. I think it's a bad idea but get him job after family pressure, move him into my house. Pay for his food before he gets first paycheck He ends up being on pills at the work place (even though I warned him not too)...still does ok work because manual labor type stuff so he just needed muscle not brains...he winds up making my life hell, my work suffers. I leave the job after having enough to move + found new job...move back home temporarily in which time brother overdoses twice in 2 months with money I got him from job instead of spending it on car which was supposed to be his plan. Steals shit from my room during this time. Now his plan was to move somewhere with me so we could split rent and my family wants me to do this but I don't want him to fuck up my life again. But I fear if I cut them off entirely he will feel abandoned and make more fucked up decisions + maybe die.
Sorry about rant Veeky Forums.
OP I think you should just do your thing and fuck your family for the time being. Once you are in a better position maybe they will take you more seriously.
I had credit card/gambling debt and they offered to help
I went to them for advice on what to do, wasn't even looking for a handout.
I had a job and wanted to pay down the debt but wanted help with a plan, how much to pay, which debts to pay first etc and then they offered to just pay it off
And now I realize that was a bad idea because it just enabled me and made me sidestep consequences
this fucking board is turning into a big therapy session. your brother has it made. get your shit together.
damn that sucks, if he's using hard drugs and using you as a safety net he's a nigger and no one can blame you for cutting him off
if your brother thinks it's okay to just be a burden forever that's also on him
anyways you're not going to change your parents' minds, just try to help your brother develop himself and bide your time
Yeah he has it made for now but if my mom kicks him out he's fucked forever since he has no skills, no work ethic, no money, and a mountain of debt
>credit card/gambling debt
>my family is retarded with money
>taking the high ground when you're even worse than them
Despite you being a massive faggot i will offer you some real advice, the only way for your brother to get out of his hole is for the whole situation to blow up and then he finds himself with a wasted life and an actual need to sustain itself, pic related
He's been conditioned to not listen to anything that runs counter to the "Sit around play games watch porn" life
I've made many mistakes
But at least I've always worked hard and had an income
And I'm self sustaining now, I'm one of the best performers at work. I've got 5 figs in crypto even after the latest massacre
I've got work ethic and a drive to improve my life
My brother doesn't and it's sad
My goal is to live off passive income or do something like real estate etc where I'm in charge
So I'm not doomed to some wagekek future forever
Sounds to me your brother should make his own mistakes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Now fuck off