What time is this fat fuck giving his toilet speech?
What time is this fat fuck giving his toilet speech?
Guys, this is fucked up, but hear me out.
I just spoke with the new marketing director of Chainlink and he had some pretty interesting things to tell.
We all know that Sergey has gotten kind of big lately, but the last months it has sprialed out of control. He is now so morbidly obese that he cannot support his own weight. Apparently he used a large chunk of the ICO money to install a huge aquarium in his house. He, and I kid you not, spends 22 houres a day in it to release the strain on his knees and back. According to the MD of Chainlink, he has switched to eating fish food. He says it has the optimal balance of minerals an positive vibrations. But the most fucked up thing is that he is supposedly mating with a clown fish. I don't know if the fish consent or not, but with Sergeys current size I don't think he have a say in the matter. Also, once a day he is hoisted out of the tank and onto a couch so that he can watch his favorite TV show Dr. Phil.
I don't know what to think anymore Veeky Forums. I'm not a professional investor, but I don't think link is a good investment if all of this is true?
Seriously, does anyone know? I want to watch the livestream
I hear whales are ready to dump as soon as he starts unwrapping the Big Mac on stage
I wonder how he prepares for presentations
But anyways he's giving his speech on Sunday around 12:35pm in a special room.
> Sunday around 12:35pm
That time is from a fake leak. The basment toilet venue has been confirmed by his team on twitter though
ive got sources inside 3 different mcdonalds near the venue. as soon as he orders that mac, I'm dumping
Prolly carb loads
How big will he be is the real question on everyone's mind. I have 2 thousand chain link that he has a 2nd chin now.
Day 1 of the conference. Blockchain genius Sergey Nazarov is sitting in the front row.
A stuffy gray-haired banker is going over the oracle problem and how it's an open problem that haven't been solved for a 100 years.
"Fucking newfags" Sergey mutters to himself. The banker hears him. "Excuse me? Did you have anything to say?"
"The oracle problem HAS been solved" Sergey replies smugly, and then tells him about ChainLink.
"Nonesense" the banker says while going to their website. As he's reading the whitepaper he visibly shaken. "I can't believe this... I can't believe this" he says with a cracked voice. Finally he regains composure and proclaims "Conference dismissed. THE ORACLE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED!!"
Hottest girl in the room (room is 90% women) starts sucking Sergey's cock right there while the second hottest girl fingers his ass.
he's not going to talk, he's just going to walk up to the podium and start hamfisting whitecastle burgers into his mouth by the dozen.
You cunts are actually turbo autists
Sergey is a respected member of the crypto community and is smarter than all you brainletts combined
I bet Sergey comes on stage with a tray of Big Macs and on water breaks takes bites out of Big Macs instead of getting sips of water.
What you didnt know is that Sergey indeed isnt getting the ballroom.. he is getting the cheteau. A grand palace with a throne room to match his rotund figure, there will be thousands upon thousands of chairs for an audience hungry to hear master Sergeys words. Rory will swoop in while the roaring crowds chant for their king to appear, leaving big macs on the throne to tempt sergey into a faster response. Shortly after, loud and thunderous footsteps like tjose of a gods begin to draw closer as one radiantly cosmic end of sergeys gut breaches the room. Slowly but surely sergeys form begins to take shape, like the titanic crossing the atlantic. Sergey will spot the big mac, and promptly sit on it, absorbing it with his hyperevolved skin that allows direct big mac absorbance to the digestive system. Sergey looks up, sweat dripping from his face after the long and dangerous trek from the makeup room to the throne room. He utters but a single word, "smart contracts". The entire room faints as their souls are torn from their bodies in a glorious light. Sergey transcends mortality and his gargantuan soul leaves for his big cube in the sky.
>of the crypto community
> Questions? (888) 984-0070
I don't know, Sunday I think.
Manager at the nearest golden arches, we're selling him the Macs off-chain.
He actually seems like a cool dude. One of those intellectual types. I met him in Manhattan once at a bar. He was drinking a margarita and had a double dish burrito. He cried mid bite when I brought up chainlink and he spoke of smart contract benefits.
>he was really eloquently intelligent
Rory came and asked for a mohito and got excited when he heard the convo.
Sergey proclaimed that smart contracts are the future and a decentralized Oracle would solve this.
As he took a bite of his enchilada he let put a gasp and started shaking.
He had a fucking heart attack. But as he left he promised chain link would be destined to moon.
thanks. im gonna call and demand full spotlights and livestream of sergey
AND a literal chad.
Please post if you get an answer.
confirmed in slack, he's talking at Sunday 2:20-2:45
forget about the fat russian
it's all about mobius now
What time zone?
Sunday, when all people are drunk from partying the Saturday
After lunch, when everyone waits additional time to network and talk
On the last timeslot of the conference, when people are packed (have to leave hotel at 11.59am) and ready to go home
In a small room, away from the main stage
YOUR LAST 3 DIGITS DETERMINE SERGAYS NEW WEIGHT
if you're so broke you check out on Sunday, you're not gonna make it
Beautiful work user. You can really tell he loves his Big Macs based on the this. Excellent fud
Sergey summons aliens down casting a wrath upon the plebs who decided to leave as they beg for forgiveness, but Lord Sergey shows no mercy to weaklinks as he proceeds to have the aliens nut inside each cuck faggot who was leaving one by one
Image that in 1-2 years you can set up a smart contract which does this automatically for you!
>taking smart contracts beyond tokenization
that subject for his speech makes it sound like he's gonna kill ChainLink on stage
announce to the crowd 1000 partnerships, skyrocketing the price to the point the whole world servers collapse and mankind goes back into the dark ages with total anarchy in the streets
Tfw I can't accumulate the day of the conference because I'll be working and with my luck Sergey will announce a partnership with Walmart and Apple
Sergey please stop eating so much we need you so much more than you need us sergey please
>Walmart and Apple
kek nice FUD
we partnering with Amazon
I seriously wonder if he's seen any of the memes biz makes about him
He is a god here, I'm sure he has graced us with his presence before.
I think Sergey is Z Oracle, confirmed