Are you a better cook than your mommy?

Are you a better cook than your mommy?

Review Brah's mom looks deeeeeecent.

where did you get this?

delete now

In every way. My mom used to make me shitty meals and I would say little things to help her improve. She would flip her shit and say that I'm being mean, but she just can't take criticism and she thinks everything she does is right.
>Makes the fried eggs crispy and hard
>Overcooks meats
>Boils all vegetables
>Puts some basil leaves to make it look "gourmet"
>Touches food with her bare unwashed hands
>Over spices stuff or makes it too bland; no happy mediums

When she refused to improve or take advice, I just started cooking meals for myself. She keeps giving me shitty tips that I don't use, but whenever I do cook and she tries it, she says that it was good because I used her tips. This is when I moved out and started having friends critique my cooking, and I learned to use exact measurements, not bowls or cups or spoonfuls like my bitch of a mother does.

>dat smirk

his maw would get it

I didn't know reviewBrah's mom was a total hottie

makes sense he's a regular on /r9k/

momcest is truly a patrician fetish

>a cup isn't an exact measurement
Wew lad.

My bad. I meant "cup" as in she would take a fucking glass/mug cup equivalent to the size of 2-4 cups to put in ingredients and called it "one cup"

Opinions on momcest are the ultimate pleb filter.

At least you learned from it. Too often do children of parents like that get stuck in those ways.

DELETE THIS

>exact measurements
Gaylord detected

Is she a single mom?
I am about her age, if I date her I will become review brahs stepdad.
I would probably beat him unmerciful though to be honest. He needs to toughen up a bit.

>beating the child toughens them up
I'm so glad you're a 35+ year old virgin.

>"herbs ruin the food"
>"that steak is underdone. I can see pink in the middle"
>"I don't eat any of that foreign muck"

Yes, yes I am.

>shitbase

This isn't /aco/ fuck off with this garbage.

Pleb detected.

How would you harden him up then?

Lightly stroke his shaft while biting his ear tbqh.

The only people who need to worry about being "hard" are poor people or stupid people who have no other way of feeling valuable.

Good lord I hope you never have to raise a male human.

Nu-male detected

...

Not even close. Don't fuck with me.

Cucked nu-male detected.
No wonder you want to raise your wife's son.
Don't forget to show your tumblr how you owned that shitlord cis-scum hetero-enabler.
#BLM

I hate to be a dick user but you need to be 18 to to post here or even lurk tbqhwya

I'm 19.

Nigga you need the gym in your life.
Also that vegan diet aint cutting it

hello dyel

>is 19
>gets 19
Checked.

>that skinny little body
I'll knock you the fuck out matchstick man

She is better at coordinating a meal, like having everything get done at the same time.

But she doesn't know anything about the science of cooking or like why you do something. For example she asked me if she should salt and pepper a beef tenderloin before she put it on the grill. She also kept adding a flour slurry to gravy before it even came to a boil so by the end of the process she had basically made jello

She is a good baker though, you don't need to know shit to bake well

Yes, my mother hates cooking

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I have an idea for the best Veeky Forums fundraiser ever.
We find the fattyiest fatty puh tattington and the skinniest hungry skellington on Veeky Forums and we have a no holes barred cagematch.
Winrar gets to bang reviewbrahs mom.

it really depends on the dish and the method of cooking. If it's on the grill I'm better but in the oven she is way better. Stove top we are about equal.

My mom grew up in a mountain village in Turkey. The only seasoning of any kind is black pepper, salt, pepper paste, or turkish version of red pepper flakes called pul biber. Everything tastes the same because its just those 4 seasonings. If I did cook I'm 100% sure I'd be better but thankfully my wife is pretty good.

That pic is cancer.

My mother is the better cook but her "menu" is limited and consistent.

My "menu" is a bit more varied but my consistency is pretty shitty. Seeing as I always change the recipe depending on my mood. I usually produce some good stuff though.

I would give her props for trying though. At least she didn't sit a bowl of spaghetti'O's in front of you on weeknights and take you to mcdonalds on weekends.

Though with your attitude it sounds like she would have been better off doing that because I am sure you thought you were 1337 from day one and tipped your fedora every time you schooled her.

What do you think she thinks of his review empire based on frozen pizzas and energy drinks?

how so?

Pictures like this ruin the immersion of how review brah presents himself.
>Moooooooom! You're embarassing me!

much better

Don't be mean to that nice lady. She had a hard life

His mom is Jan from The Office?

>literal fucking skellington mistaking '>8% body fat' for 'ripped'
I used to accidentally'd soft faggots like you when I was 16

This is really the only correct answer.

She looks like a pill popper

girls?

Fags desu senpai

context on gif?

y r whyte bois so meen to they mum? :(

Yes and she is aware of it since she paid for 2 cooking schools.

Why are nigger moms so mean to their children? They'd rather go to da club so they set lil Tyrone up to live with grandma.

Follow up question; why are niggers so mean to their mothers? It's mean to force your kids on to your mom.

Second follow up; why are niggers so mean to their grandmas? So many sweet old black women raise their grand children just to have them grow up to be pieces of shit. Then lil Tyrone goes and dindu nuffins and sweet old granny drains her life savings on her guilty as he'll piece of shit grandson to waste on his defense. Then granny dies heartbroken when lil Tyrone does life behind bars.

Third follow up; why are niggers such shit?

Too much salt, Jethro. Cut back a bit.

I'm more of a sweet over savory type of guy. I don't much care for salt. What's your problem Jamal? Hit too close to home?

Tyroahne on suicide watch

>why are niggers so mean to their mothers?
Abuse and neglect from said mothers
>why are niggers so mean to their grandmas?
See above

eeeeh, kinda. i mean, she has more experience and can get around some things and multi task, but im better at judging by taste.

do you actually know any black people on a personal level? or are they just things you see in movies and the news?

holy shit dude lol

I know plenty of blacks, the real question is; do you? I can't think of a single movie where any of the things I mentioned happen, but I had at least two black friends that lived with grandma because their moms were too busy finding the future father of their yet to be conceived chilluns. I don't think black children being pawned of on their grandparents makes the news really ever.

Fun fact, by childhood best friend just did 7 years for kidnapping and and armed robbery. He would March people to an atm at knife point and force them to make withdrawals. But hey, let's keep it cu/ck/ related... he used a knife he stole from the Chipolte he worked at to commit the crimes.

Since when does he do cat reviews?

Is he actually drinking ecto cooler out of a libby wine glass?

THANK YOU HUNGRY SKELETON

You have no idea what awaits you

I saw his video where he was nervous about getting bullied in school but otherwise I can't sustain interest in his stuff

But I hope he is doing it with some level of self awareness

nah brah, ma is gah

Yes, easily. She is a baby boomer who worked full-time her whole life. Shitty cook

LOL that was obvious bait, but my fucking sides. BTFO

sauce me on the gif pls

they're so qt

Buy him a gun and make him kill small animals with it

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ReviewBrah's mom is top qt

more pls

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING DRESSED LIKE THAT

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Yeah but I still liked what she made.
Buttered noodles with ground beef. Just really basic but filling and agreeable.

its a pretty great comic

>ywn pound reviewbrahs mum all night then take him to pickup some burgers to review the next day

Yeah, but that's not setting a high bar.

She frets about making "healthy" meals, so pretty much everything has half the salt and butter it's supposed to and ends up bland. She's afraid of undercooked meat, so everything gets overcooked by far too long and ends up tough. She liked to get us filet mignon when it was on sale because it was "the only meat she couldn't ruin", but we just never had the heart to tell her it still wasn't very good. Veggies were always soggy from being steamed too long.

We always ate it, though.

She bakes cakes and that's about it. The rest of her food is of the "empty box into pot/pan, add water" variety

>reviewing day old burgers

Lord above just end me now

why do you make me feel these feels

Okay. But she also looks like a beautiful woman.

I've found the following to be the case in my limited experience:

Black families don't use respect or wisdom as determining factors in establishing authority; they use the threat of violence.

From day one, they teach that the rules are made and enforced by whoever can beat the shit out of subordinates. Parents teach their children they are to be feared, not respected.

So you end up with this wolf pack mentality where once black kids reach a certain age, they constantly test their elders to see where they stand in being able to physically dominate them. There was never any sort of sensible relationship there in the first place. It was just "I control you because you can't stop me," which leads to a lot of black youth going full retard the moment their parents can't physically or financially control them.

yes, I can cook circles around my mother. She isn't the worst, but she was a picky eater and she almost managed to breed that into me. When I started cooking, I learned how to properly cook veggies so they weren't unappetizing. Now she won't eat a lot of the food I cook unless I brunoise veggies or just leave them out. My parents also go out to eat like way too much. 3-5 times a week.

desu I put pul biber on most of my food...

his mom is fuckable

Yes, and so is my dad.

being disappointed of your sons autism in public but trying to smile for the camera.gif

Maybe 20 years ago... how thirsty are you fuckers?

I'll admit I have done many things I am not proud of. BUT GODDAMN IT I WAS HORNY

I am, because my mom refuses to use salt at all

My mother hates garlic and like 90% of herbs and spices and only knows how to make basic things like frozen meals and pasta with store bought jar sauce

So I'm going to say yes

Okay youre right on most accounts but almost no chefs do strict measures. As long as youre in the ballpark its going to taste the same.

L2read

SHOO SHOO GAINZ GOBLIN

that should be an allowable defense...

>But I was horny, your honor.
>Oh, well then, you're free to go.

I think it should only be acceptable if the defendant was "soooooo horny".

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