ITT: Food Poisoning Stories

ITT: Food poisoning stories

I want to hear some stories about people's experiences with food poisoning.

Personally, I remember going to a sausage sizzle (australian thing) for an uncles end of year work function when I was 4, and I must have eaten something raw or dodgy because I was throwing up for the next few days. Didn't need to be hospitalised in the end but boy I remember it being painful.

What about you, Veeky Forums?

Chipotle. God damn chipotle. I decided to grab a burrito for lunch before heading 2 hours by car to a baseball game in Miami. All was fine until the 2nd inning or so of the game. Felt some pressure in my stomach thought it was just the beer mixing with the pretzel. One more inning I found myself running up the stairs heaving trying to make it to a trash can before it all came up. Just made it. End up standing over a trashcan for a few innings feeling like absolute shit. Realize I have a whole 2 hour car ride back and strongly considering staying in Miami overnight and renting a car in the morning. Should have. Spike a fever of 103f and extremely nauseous but manage to avoid any more vomiting. Somehow make it to friends house and drive myself home. Curl up in a ball all night moaning, sweating, and feeling like absolute death. I've never been that sick in my life and wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Damn you to hell chipotle.

Ive gotten it a few times, worst was red lobster. Shrimp alfredo. The leg cramps stayed with me for a few days after 3 straight days of puking.

I was at the college and I was penniless ans hungry, so I stole a bag of mixed dried beans and grains. I crunched a handful of red beans, and after shitting my soul out I learned those were toxic and more than enough to kill an adult man and a half. I guess I lucked out as I just felt fatigued for a couple of days
The next day I raped my roommates' fridge and got in a fight for that kek

I have lived in a third world nation all my life.

Traveled over half the western hemisphere and a good portion of the middle east.

I have eaten every where from kitchens where the owners and their family sleep in the same room as the stove, to palaces back to the jungle.

I regularly eat chicken that has been defrosted and refrozen 2-3 times over because of the third world chain of supply. Also if I come across anything unusual on a menu I tend to try it out of curiosity.

For 28 years I never had a bad reaction to any food (other than too much alcohol) until I went to buffalo, NY.

I went to some grill place where people can eat peanuts and throw their shells on the floor. I had a blue cheese burger, I have made many of these myself and sometimes using meat that was of questionable age but my nose generally gave me the OK. I also had wings in sauce (they don't call them buffalo wings in buffalo), I have also had these before.

I ate it, I enjoyed it and 6 hours later I was on the toilet shifting my guts out and puking into a mixing bowl at the same time, intermittently, for another 10 hours.

Missed out on some shit I was traveling to see.

TLDR; 'muriland is the only place to ever give me food poisoning

oh look it's this autism thread again

unless you went to the doctor and had bacterial cultures done then you in no way have evidence that it was food poisoning

people get sick all the time from viruses, bacteria, chemicals, and other environmental factors. just because you got sick, it doesn't mean it was from the food.

When you squirt water out of your ass, it's only safe to assume one thing.

I will take the bait. Sure it is never a 100% guarantee... but as a general rule of thumb if you're spewing out stomach contents and fecal matter at an alarming rate it is safe to assume you consumed something your body doesn't want inside it. Pretty easy to pinpoint a meal as the culprit if you're not doing anything out of the ordinary like rolling around in toxic waste.

I got mine from Joe's crab shack. Places like this and red lobster are best avoided. I'd avoid the seafood at places like outback too.

I got it in jail one time. I was in medical cause I had a broken wrist in a cast. Two man cell, the other guy was this south sider in a wheel chair. late at night I started puking followed by hours of the worst rotten egg farts ever. I was seriously farting every 30 seconds. I will never forget my celly dragging himself across the floor sticking his nose in the crack of the door trying to breathe fresh air then screaming for the guards cause he couldn't reach the call button. Funny as fuck now not so much then

I got chicken fettuccine from Boston pizza and got delirious high fever sick, the next night after I watched a Batman movie I woke up at 2am thinking that scarecrow poisoned me and I was burning up and erupting from all orifices and was seeing all kinds of trippy blue and white line patterns when I closed my eyes. I thought that the only thing stopping it from getting worse was constantly rubbing my thumb and forefinger together

Of course I have no proof because I didn't go to the hospital and get it diagnosed it could have just been a coincidental virus or whatever

Does this thread really need to exist? All the stories are going to sound the same

>ate thing
>6 hours later needed toilet
>was unpleasant

Regardless I've only been poisoned once and it was from fried rice at a Chinese buffet in rural Georgia. I woke up at 3am with mudbutt which quickly descended into violent diarrhea. I ended up missing most of my buddy's wedding because of it

senior year of high school I went to a friend's bbq and had some burgers. She was a pretty inexperienced cook so I think she didn't cook them all the way or something. I think I vommed like 15 times the next day. It was fucking awful

the food is never fresh at those kinds of places and the employees never give a shit

There are some old greentexts with hilarious first-person descriptions of shitting, though

>as a kid, I loved sauerkraut
>the sauerkraut we had in the fridge was expired
>2 hours after eating the sauerkraut, my guts are exploding out of my ass and my mouth
>still had to go to school the next day, even though I was a fountain of excrement
>child services inquired as to why my mother sent a sick child to school
>almost threw up on child services dude

>Be 17
>Friends and I get pizza at Zachery's
>Later that night we all throw up and have bowel problems.
>End up missing 6 days of school
>Was so bad for one friend he had to wear adult diapers

Worse week of my life. Fuck that pizza chain

sounds like more of a /b/ thing but I'll stick around

>I have lived in a third world nation all my life
Stopped reading there

I got sick from dirty water at summer camp. I was 9 and it was the worst experience of my life. I don't think I've ever gotten sick from food though.

>on cruise to mexican riviera
>captains dinner
>sitting at captains table
>seafood cocktail
>wife says it smells funny
>we dont eat it
>next couple of days everyone is sick
>guests and staff
>parts of the ship are quarantined
>me and wifee feel fine
>spa appointments open up
>pool is empty
>driving range is empty
>shoot skeet off the back of boat for hours
>joke with latino bartender about situation
>say it was a terrorist plot
>he looks at me suspiciously
>starts acting weird
>I smile, turn around and leave
>he doesnt realize
>I dont tip

tl;dr never had food poisoning.

i love their deepdish. i live like 2 block from there

>It's dinner
>Roommate and I decide to get Papa John's tonight
>Had some Reese's peanut butter cups a little while before
>Eat my pizza
>Dip my bread sticks in the garlic & oil and cheese sauces
>Watching American Idol 1st rounds
>Stomach starts hurting, all the bad singing is making the pain worse
>Try to sleep it off
>Wake up a little while later to run to the bathroom
>Pink vomit is everywhere, on the toilet, floor, and walls
>Roommate trying to clean it up, screams that there's vomit on the ceiling
>Still moaning in pain
>Try to fart, but end up shitting myself
>Now I have diarrhea, too
>Stomach is hurting, but heat of the shower makes me feel better
>Sit on toilet afterwards, but can't breathe
>Ambulance comes to pick me up
>Go to hospital
>Roommate answers doctor for me because I am incoherent
>Roommate deduces that it was one of the sauces that made me sick
.The next week my roommate goes to hospital for stomach issues
>The week after that I go back to the hospital for really bad constipation
>Go to a pizza shop a month later, but it makes me hyperventilate
>The smell of Reese's peanut butter cups reminds me of that horrible night

This happened back in 2007. I have gone back to eating Reese's peanut butter cups, every so often now. I do eat pizza now, but it cannot have tomato sauce and cheese on it. Only one or the other, but not both. This causes a lot of issues when I am work (mostly my boss being an asshole about it) or out in general, but I work around it. This also means that I don't eat a lot of pasta dishes anymore. So at home I have learned to make a lot of different kinds of pesto and finding alternative solutions. I have not and will not go back to Papa Johns, ever.

>
>Stopped reading there
Stopped reading there.

OP here, it might be like that to you but the food source is usually different and some people's reactions are also different. It would also be interesting to see if people got close to death as well.

I got a mild case of food poisoning from red lobster once and to battle the nausea I chewed spearmint gum. I ended up puking anyways and I can't bear the smell of spearmint 20 years later

> go to a little cafe in Lisbon for while on a university field trip
> Pork and clams, why not
> pretty delicious
> go out drinking later, dont drink that much
> start feeling pretty sick
> up all night vomiting and shitting
> some guys i know had gotten really high and came into the bathroom
> listen to them giggling as i retch and throw up bile

>December 2006
>Poway, CA
>Rolberto's taco shop
>want something different, ask for my cali burrito to be WET
>brought to table with guac and sour cream on it
>this is not what WET means
>on lunch break, dont have time to fuck with a replacement
>eat it up, yum
>get back to work, boss says we can have xmas eve off
>get home
>feel kinda sick, take nyquil and hope for a long deep sleep so i can wake up xmas eve and get blackout drunk with bros
>gets worse
>run to bathroom
>sit on toilet, grab garbage can
>both ends explode like an outdoor faucet
>continues 3 or 4 more times
>all my roommates are back home with senpai
>violently sick and also under the influence of nyquil
>drive myself to albertsons and get pedialyte, ginger ale and saltines
>spend all night pissing out of my ass and mouth
>finally able to go to bed
>eat nothing christmas eve
>wake up christmas day and have a half pedialyte, half ginger ale drink
>manage to eat 1 sleeve of crackers throughout the day

merry christmas senpai

(Posted in another thread, then saw this)

Man what is with you fags, always with the food poisoning. I've never heard of anyone I know getting it and seems people who get it are just little saps.
"I ate there, my stomach hurts. It must be food poisoning"

I don't mean to offend, forgive my ignorance, but is it really that common to get food poisonings?
As a kid I've eaten out of dumpsters, floors, my house, fast food, some fine restaurants, nothing from either one. Worst case scenario was my stomach hurt from eating a greasy (just too min meat) sandwich from a Mexican place but it was over in an hour.

I'd fight you too if you raped my fridge.

Talking about shitting your guts out all night doesn't make for polite conversation. No one is going to talk about it irl beyond a "I got food poisoning from that"

At uni and classmate asks me to help her last minute cram session before finals in afternoon. Takes me to an "asian" buffet. Take a bite of the spicy baby octopus salad. Has a metallic spoiled taste. 3 hours later my final exam starts and I am begin breaking out in cold sweat and feeling very ill. Plow through exam and spend the next 24hrs wrapped up in mummy bag covered with a blanket and still cannot get warm and just sweating like a whore in church on election day. High fever and gut pain like I never had before in my life and the only time I knew I got food poisoning. That was 6 years ago I still haven't been able to bring myself to eating that kind of salad again at any place and it used to be one of my favorite thing to eat when I went out to those types of buffets.

>I went to some grill place where people can eat peanuts and throw their shells on the floor.

Could possibly be Five Guys, but sounds more like Logan's Roadhouse.