So I noticed Hot Pockets are something of a meme around here over the years, why is this? Why did Hot Pockets become so infamous? Is it because of what clean comic Jim Gaffagin said?
Also what are your opinions of the Hot Pocket? Ever make home made ones?
and there not really great our anything.
Hot Pockets are and always have been the poster child for pathetic microwave food - even more so than those 99c frozen dinners you find.
Something to do with them being a mods favourite food
Nice post.
You don't find it to be somewhat innovative?
Isn't a home made hot pocket basically a calzone? I like the limited ones like chicken pot pie and four cheese garlic pasta bake and angus beef melt. The ham and cheese one and pepperoni one are barely edible or really great depending on how drunk I get. I'm use to baking them which I think they still have baking directions on the back instead of microwaving them and turning them soggy. When I was in high school (90s) they had the pepperoni ones for lunch and they would scoop out red sauce on them and it was okay. No where near as good as rectangle pizza though or a bowl of mashed potatoes with a hole in them filled with fake butter liquid.
dunno, the steak ones were breddy good when I was bulking
and then I read an article about them containing some sort of disease and stopped buying them, I wouldn't really care but apparently it was not the first time and I couldn't risk losing my gains over hot pockets
Innovative? Not at all. It's basically just a "hand pie" or what the Brits would call a "pastie". The idea of cooking a filling inside pastry so that it's easy to hold and eat has been around for hundreds of years. This is just a microwaveable version of that, the same way there are microwavable versions of all sorts of foods.
Why does every one ignore the "oven bake" directions and auto assume it's microwave only?????????
>baking a hot pocket in an oven
at that point you could just prepare food that isnt shit
It takes a half hour to cook one in an oven, is a food item that takes about 6 bites to consume worth a half hour wait?
If you complain about the microwaved taste then yeah I'm guessing so
If I'm going to take the time to heat up the oven and wait for it to cook then I'm going to cook real food, not this crap.
The whole point of a hot pocket is that it's fast. That's it's only saving grace. If It wasn't super convenient then nobody would eat them.
Are you going to die of starvation in 30 minutes or less?
They still taste crappy even when baked. The problem is not that the microwaving somehow affects the taste. They taste bad because they're made with shit tier ingredients, and because they are re-heated rather than being prepared fresh.
What I don't get is every one microwaves everything now. Even TV dinners my mom use to bake in the oven and not microwave for our TV dinner meals night on Thursdays. Now you try to put one in the oven and it melts or starts a fire.
No but if I'm eating a fucking hot pocket I'm drunk and don't give a fuck.
Shit I could even make a simple sammy if I was sober in about the same time
It just seems weird to spend that amount of time and energy when the microwave produces the same results in much less time & cost.
>What I don't get is every one microwaves everything now.
See
but it obviously does not produce the same results when microwaved is soggy and soft and baked is hot and crispy
>Shit I could even make a simple sammy if I was sober in about the same time
I gotta be honest, I've noticed this weird phenomenon where sandwiches only taste good when made by someone else and wrapped
If I make a sandwich at home, no matter how good the ingredients I use, hell better than some sandwich places at times, it just doesn't taste good
Ok, so it's a minor improvement. But we're talking shit-tier food that's only good when you're drunk, high, or both. Why take the effort to elevate 1/10 food to 2/10? It's polishing a turd.
yeah i think i'm gonna pass
Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Malted Barley Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Water, Fully Cooked Ham and Water Product, 25% of Weight is Added Ingredients, Ground and Formed, Natural Smoke Flavor Added (Cured with Water, Sugar, Salt, Sodium Phosphate, Dehydrated Pork Broth, Potassium Chloride, Carrageenan, Natural Smoke Flavor, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite), Reduced Fat Cheddar Cheese (Pasteurized Part Skim Milk, Skim Milk, Modified Food Starch (Not in Regular Cheddar Cheese), Cultures, Salt, Flavors (Not in Regular Cheddar Cheese), Potassium Chloride (Not in Regular Cheddar Cheese), Annatto, Vitamin A Palmitate, Enzymes, Pastry Margarine (Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, Palm Oil, Water, Partially Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil, Sugar, Mono and Diglycerides, Soybean Lecithin, Potassium Sorbate and Citric Acid [Preservatives], Annatto/Turmeric [Color], Vitamin A Palmitate), Palm Oil, 2% or Less of Whey, Modified Food Starch, Creamer (Coconut Oil, Corn Syrup Solids, Sodium Caseinate [Milk], Mono and Diglycerides, Dipotassium Phosphate, Soy Lecithin), Maltodextrin, Fractionated Palm Oil, Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour [Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid]), Soybean Oil, Bleached Enriched Wheat Flour (Wheat Flour, Amylase, Ascorbic Acid, Niacin, Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Salt, Yeast, Calcium Sulfate, Cheese Sauce Powder (Cheddar Cheese [Milk, Cheese Cultures, Salt, Enzymes], Butter [Cream, Salt], Natural Flavor, Buttermilk Powder, Disodium Phosphate, Extractives of Annatto and Paprika), Potassium Chloride, Lactic Acid Blend (Lactic Acid, Calcium Lactate), Color Added, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Cultured Whey (Cultured Whey, Maltodextrin), Autolyzed Yeast Extract (Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Salt), Sugar, Whey Protein Concentrate, Dried Garlic, L-Cysteine Hydrochloride, Enzymes, Tricalcium Phosphate, Soy Flour, Egg White, Citric Acid.
They come in Siracha flavor now
>all that grease
>dips it in fat
jesus christ how fat are you?
how do they even come up with something using that many ingredients like how do you seriously do that? Instead of like: dough (flour, yeast, water, sugar) ham (ham with water added for moisture) Cheddar cheese (whatever the ingredients for actual cheddar cheese is) salt, spices.
What figure is that user?
1) to keep the cost down
2) to prevent the food from going bad during freezing & re-heating
If you made the same thing with real ingredients then it would cost much more and the texture would be beyond awful after freezing and re-heating.
...
think about it. they're a large corporation right? so what they do is hire chemists, who come up with ways for them to spend the least amount of money while also adding things into it that enhance flavors, etc. basically they pay them to fill your food with as much filler as they can (because it's cheaper than real food), so they increase their profit margin. remember, it's ALWAYS about the money.
>Flavors (Not in Regular Cheddar Cheese)
bruh that's a straight up essay
Looks like a eqg ponk.
No. Fda regulations = half the list. They have no option but to add this garbage to all american wheat.
They get put in jail if they don't add the synthetic chemicals.
>Ok, so it's a minor improvement
But its a major improvement. If you have a combonation microwave/grill(broiler) then microwave it for 1 minute, then 5 minutes under the broiler on its back, then turn it over and broil for another 5 minutes.
its a helluva lot better. Its evenly heated with a crispy crust.
That's not true, fed regulation only states that they have to add niacin.
Why do people even buy microwaves? I've never had a single meal out of a microwave that tasted good.
Whatever the fuck garbage food you're eating, at least give it an oven, for fucks sake. It's not like it takes any extra effort, it just takes a little longer.
I have one to quickly heat something up when I'm drunk.
I think hot pockets were a oft-jabbed bullshit food before Jim Gaffigan did Beyond the Pale, but his bit on them launched that shit into the stratosphere. That set was huge. It's maybe not obvious now, but he was probably the biggest comedian in the world who wasn't doing movies at the time.
If Hiroshima gives them hot pockets are they truly doing it for free, guys?
Biochemist here, none of those are bad except maybe the partially hydrogenated oils
Most are vitamins you chemophobic fucks
How does one insert a disease into a hot pocket you fucking weight lifting mongoloid. You should've kept eating them so we wouldn't have to worry about having offspring and spreading your fucking retard genes.
yeah but you can make ten of them in the oven at the same time for your family of five.
I don't like Hot Pockets
I LOVE HOT POCKETS
Hot Pockets are a delivery system for thermal plasma in to your mouth to sear off the top layers of the dermis in your oral cavity, though thy are sometimes referred to as "food."
because you're doing it wrong.
>OMG baseball sucks because the ball hits you in the mouth and swells your lips.
>I don't know why anyone would play baseball
>its so dangerous
tell us more about how stupid you are.
it sounds like there are other "things" you like to have in your mouth that squirt with some coaxing
you really like the wiener, don't you
I don't eat hot pockets often, but two weeks ago while hanging out in the break room after work I decided to make one. While I was eating someone commented on how they always burn your mouth.
Half way finished with my hot pocket, I took a bite to finish the last of the middle, molten magma spewed into every soft, sensitive, and safe place of my mouth.
The package specifically states allow Hot Pocketer to sit two minutes before consumption to finish cooking
If you do do this, it will be cool enough to chew.
I've had some that still are not cool enough to try eating after 2 minutes of waiting so I normally cut them up on a plate and blow on it repeatedly then eat with a fork which really defeats their entire purpose but tastes so good.
Do you fatties not know how to let food cool? Or do you have to shove the food in your gullet as quickly as possible?
>Inb4 hotpockets delete this thread
He refers to the outer layer of a hot pocket being deceptively cool, making the lips signal "OK for consumption! Commence biting!"
Same as with the McDonalds Apple Pie
Hot Pockets are what janitors who do it for free accept in lieu of payment.
I'm a janitor and make $18 an hour with full benefits and don't eat hot pockets and work about 60 hours a week. Sure it ain't no executive in an office but it gets me by