Coffee

>When I go out I usually get a flat white because I can't yet make one properly at home

keep your pulls short. like the first half of the pull, way before blonding.

Just hit up Saint Frank and Wrecking Ball in San Fran... Really solid stuff.

Warning: Shit ton of hipsters, but the coffee is great!

>pic related is for my Instajew account.

I'm on the other coast, but I'll be sure to keep that in mind should I ever make it that far.

Coffee can be intimidating, especially if the shop you frequent is a bit stuck up.
Finding a shop that's willing to guide you is nice.
Of course, some shops cater to specific types of coffee drinks. 3rd wave roasters will want to show off the coffee without much in the way. American espresso bars will likely have many drinks that are a mix of many ingredients.

My favorites (if at a 3rd wave place):
- espresso
- Chemex pour over (I like clarity > body)
- V60 pour over (If there's no Chemex option)

If I'm at a more general coffee shop, generally I get a cortado or breve, depending on how palatable I assume their espresso will be

ITT retards who dont know shit about coffee

I dont order it, I made my own coffee with my espresso machine

Heres a chart of what proportions you need for specific drinks

Choco Mocha/Cappuccino/whatever you call it. And fuck you if you don't like it, I'm drinking it because I like it.

I get a cortado

Now, if something like that or any other drink really isn't explicitly written out on a place's menu, is it reasonable to expect a barista to make it anyway? Or is that some sort of coffee faux pas?

If it's something similar to a Starbucks seasonal drink best avoid it. Most baristas know what a cortado is, and it won't be rude to ask for one. Dirty Chai would be similar. If they have a Chai latte and espresso on the menu, they'll make your drink.

for a flate white you want ristretto not a regular espresso pull

Depends on the drink and on the place. If it's a hyper hipster-y joint, they won't be able to because the people that work in and run those sorts of places pretend to know what coffee is, but don't know how to do anything beyond making latte art and how to pour hot water over ground coffee by hand.

I've ordered a flat white twice (from different places)
Both times I received a Latte, and both were so ridiculously scaldingly hot I got burned on the mouth bit.

Alright, thanks guys.

I'd say it's reasonable as long as they have the ingredients (I've, for example, gotten affogatos off-menu from restaurants I knew had vanilla ice cream) and it's nothing too labor intensive. Really, I wouldn't worry about it.
And a cortado is just the Spanish name for a cafe noisette- the milk shouldn't be foamed. But these are all stupid and full of misinformation, aren't they.

Test

Iced Cappuccinos.

I've been making them at home with instant coffee, milk and cream, sugar/syrup, and ice

Saves a ton of money and tastes great.

>instant coffee

Ok so you have two options:
A) Just ask the cashier or someone at the bar what they recommend, you should expect something weird, with milk, probably expensive
B) Maybe you are a grumpy old man like me so just ask for a ristretto or an espresso, if you like milk just ask for a cortado. Btw if your goal is to sound classy or something like that, which seems to be the idea of most people in coffee shops, just say the preparation of the coffee instead of its name. "I want a 3/4 concentrated espresso without milk, in a little cup"

Now this is sad, but i understand, sometimes homemade coffee isnt that bad

Oh I'm not out to look sophisticated or anything. I just don't want to look inept. I like coffee. I'd like to have a better understanding of it. That's all.

Oh then you are going to do alright, after all, everyone in that store started just like you right?

Thanks man. Yeah, I guess everybody has to start somewhere.

>What's your usual order
the free stuff at work because coffee isn't worth spending money on

Sorry to hear that user. I also ended up with overly heated milk a few times

But if you noticed the difference between a bad latte and a flat white then I don't need to tell you those were some bad Batista's that made 'em.

I've had flat white in a few places and I've gotten some pretty good ones. You could really taste the espresso in it but it was also kinda creamy/soft. At least it's more relaxing than a double espresso (which I also enjoy by itself)

Nigga that looks like a rootbeer float.

>cappuccino with cream no sugar masterrace

I always so it doesn't fucking matter as long as it tastes good to you. If you want to eat shit, go for it. I have bitch mouth and can't stand bitter coffee so I add sugar and cream and I don't give a shit what others think cause they aren't drinking my fucking drink. Best way is to take a risk and try a new coffee each time until you figure it out. Food is like 99% personal choices.

i usually order a flat white unless i can get a "small" cappucino. milk hates my guts but soy doesnt make very good coffees.

dont worry about being nervous, though besides social anxiety and people who think coffee houses are ok to bring their kids, you've got nothing to worry about. every coffee place has 4 or 5 regulars who only drink breakfast tea and complain about everything.

what other people said about asking is good. if you interact with your server a little beyond addressing them as a drinks machine, they'll care a lil more about you while they make your order.

i used to be very into my cafetiere and cold pressing but right now im a fucking pleb and drink this stuff black at home. its not bad desu.

next time, drink coffee using your boipussy

whats your setup senpai

Triple espresso with ice, sweetened cream and sugar occasionally

Marc Maron?

Guess again.

What's the difference between a latte and a cappuccino? They both taste and look the same to me. I just generally see lattes ordered in the morning and cappuccinos ordered mid afternoon or after dinner.

How do I into coffee?

No seriously. I add milk/sugar and it still tastes bitter as fuck. I'm not a big coffe guy (for you) but I crave it once in a while. French vanilla is great. What do I do to achieve that sweet vanilla flavor?

Cappuccinos have way more foamed milk, whereas lattes are majority steamed milk.

Holy wars have been fought over that question, but the One True Answer is that the cappuccino is much drier and much smaller, basically just espresso with a lot of wet foam, and a latte is basically espresso and milk with a bit of foam. Anyone who disagrees with me is stupid and wrong, and anyone who says "meanings change" needs to shoot himself in the brain with a big gun.

Cappuccino is 1/3 espresso 1/3 steamed milk 1/3 foamed milk. If you change the ratio of steamed:foamed it is wet or dry.

Latte is 1/5 espresso 3/5 steamed milk 1/5 foamed milk.

Obviously measurements don't have to be exactly on the mark it's just a rough idea of what the ratios are. Basically cappuccino has less milk.

Thank you. That explains when I can't tell the difference.

Is my assumption that more people order lattes in the morning and cappuccinos in the afternoon/evening correct?

Reminder that a flat white is not a real coffee and if you think it is you're delusional or poorly educated

>ordering coffee

DON'T CATCH YOUR SCARF ON A MOVING BUS YOU FUCKING NEW-AGE PASTY CUNTWIPE

I love coffee but think I am sensitive to it as it makes me feel off, dizzy, headachy, sleepy etc.

Shame as I'd easily just drink and drink it.

Poor quality drip coffee is usually going to be very bitter and acidic. If you're using a drip machine, invest in some better equipment (there are tons of options -- aeropress, french press, moka pot, etc.) and pick up some decent coffee. I'd recommend buying a cheap grinder so that you can buy whole bean coffee. Pre-ground coffee can sometimes taste stale or even rancid, depending on how well it was packaged.

If you like sweet vanilla coffee, just add milk + vanilla extract + sugar. If you want to get used to black coffee eventually, start slowly adding less and less of those things. Black coffee is an acquired taste, but very enjoyable once you do acquire it.

You might have a poor tolerance for caffeine. Try a cup of decaf sometime and see if it has the same effect.

my usual order depends on how tired i'm feeling and how hot it is.

if hot:
cold brew
else if tired:
double espresso macchiato
else:
flat white

Large flat white with an extra shot

I did and think it actually made me feel worse.

Was the 0.3% moccona stuff.

Then it probably isn't the caffeine that's the problem, maybe something with the oils or some kind of allergy to the beans? I'm pulling that out of my ass but if less caffeine made you just as sick feeling, likely wasn't the caffeine.

> if hot
> cold brew
What did he mean by this?

Depends on where you live, I think. Where I'm from originally, the opposite is true but where my family moved to later in childhood, your scenario was 100% accurate. However, where I live now, people seldom to never drink cappuccino at all.

If the weather is hot, user orders cold brewed coffee.
This is because he hates himself and wants to die but is too much of a pussy to ever pull the trigger. Cold brewed coffee's disgustingly awful flavour is his self-inflicted punishment for living.

Cold brew is fine dude, calm down, edgelord.

I drink simple, drip, black coffee. I prefer Ethiopian Yigracheffe when I can get it.

There is literally nothing wrong with instant coffee

Prove me wrong

1. It's nearly 100% made from cheap shit, no one wastes the nice coffee on it
2. All oil-based esters are lost in the process so you get literally zero fruit flavours or anything remotely interesting
3. It's often stale as fuck just by nature of the process so half of the remaining flavours have oxidised

In the end it just tastes like shitty coffee. It's okay if that's what you're after, but I don't drink coffee to taste coffee, if you know what I mean.

Found this at the supermarket, gonna try it

>single origin coffee in a bottle

What could go wrong?

Jesus titsfuck this is weird shit wew

It's like cheap cold drip

it's kinda gross not gonna lie

But then again I'm not a big fan of cold drop coffee anyway

Fucking weird shit tttt, feels like a bit of a waste of a single origin. Doesn't even say where the single is from either

black

with a shot of espresso if i'm extra tried, hungover, cold etc.

>Iced miel
>cafe mocha/mocha latte

Or a small black if I'm on the road. I rarely go out for coffee because of my past jobs serving free coffee for employees and it's pretty expensive anyway (though often worth the splurge).

I can understand the intimidation. A lot of non-Starbucks, locally owned businesses are run by aging hipsters. You almost have to go often enough to gain their trust/get comfortable in that environment. In spite of that, it's ok to be honest about your lack of knowledge; lots of places are more than happy to guide you, otherwise, you can look at charts like this.

lolwtf is with that description. What is this? Wine?

>newfriend hasn't seen single origin coffee before

The blurbs are at least 200% more fluff and more garbage than even the most pretentious of wines.

get this and dont add sugar or any shit

Re: What's your usual order?
Sweet Tea
Or Soda
...then I watch them go (?_?)

This man just said Iced Cappuccino and all you notice is the instant coffee part.

>Cappuccino

Ethiopian Yigracheffe is amazing.
I love the stuff in espresso. But brewed is always so acidic that I regret it drinking it later.

I was wondering how long before somebody noticed desu

Espresso or cold brew, with an equal chance for either drink, if it's a proper coffee shop. Iced caramel macchiato or whatever frappuccino I haven't tried yet if I'm at Starbucks.

No it's fine. It depends what coffee shop you go to, but many baristas will actually be really happy to have someone new to coffee, especially if it's not that busy. I have seen a barista or two who appeared snobby but it was a meh coffee shop.

Usually goes like this
>Hi can I have a Regular coffee
>what type?
>just a plain coffee
>Oh so the house brew or the yada yada yada
>Uh the house brew I guess
>What size sir?
>Uhh small
>So that would be a venti
>uh ya haha a small
Fuck I hate going to coffee shops Just brew your own OP

That will be $3.85

Double espresso no sugar. I'll go a triple if I'm particularly tired and don't have access to better stimulants.

>tfw I just have a shitty drip machine and all the coffee I make tastes like shit
>dont even know how to add milk or cream to make it tastes better, always makes it end up tasting worse

I can't into coffee. I just follow the instructions on the package: 1 tablespoon of coffee for every 6 fl oz of water. I can't do shit on my own.

This

Although at least here it's getting a bit better. If I want a normal coffee I'm obviously not saying I want a fucking espresso. Just a cup of coffee.

It's at a point where I'm already happy with the service if they manage to understand such a simple thing without extra explanations

>venti
Spot the culturally at-risk flyover who feels insecure going into a mcdonalds-tier coffee chain because it's too fancy

or the dipshit hipster who can't afford a keurig because he wastes all his parents money on overpriced things he might be able to figure out himself, if he could buy a vowel and rub two sticks together, in an attempt to gain some kind of credibility in his hollow existence to other hipsters who could give a shit less he's in a starbucks buying a $6 cup of coffee.

>the price keeps going up
Looks like I hit a little too close to home

As a barista who works in a local, non-Starbucks coffee shop in Seattle, let me just tell you about the single most annoying mistake people make when trying to order their drinks.
The one thing you have to know is that a macchiato from Starbucks and a macchiato from a real coffee house are two VERY different things. A traditional macchiato is just espresso shots with a little bit (like 2oz) of milk foam and its served in a little cup.
If you go into any respectable coffee shop and try to order a 'caramel macchiato', they may not outright laugh in your face but they'll definitely think your an idiot. If you want a 'caramel macchiato', order a caramel-vanilla latte, because that's what Starbucks is really serving you. Calling it a fancy Italian name just gets them more customers.
That said, a 'latte macchiato' is a joke. Again, Starbucks is just trying to come up with fancy ways of saying latte so they can get more people to buy their drinks. Yes, the espresso shots are often added on top, but it's still just a latte and you will still be considered an idiot for ordering one from a local coffee shop.

>americans in charge of defining italian terms
see and "Macchiato" can refer to either coffee with a spot of milk or milk with a spot of coffee. Macchiato is an adjective, not a noun, and needs a noun to modify, hence 'caffe macchiato' and 'latte machiato,' meaning 'stained coffee' and 'stained milk,' respectively.

How can you not know and work at a coffee shop? How dumb are Americans? Holy shit

What's the difference between espresso and coffee? Is espresso just strong coffee (made with a stronger bean or less water?)?

I like Cuban coffee and they always like hammer the beans it is so dense.

Espresso is a grind-fineness, darkness-grade and brewing method of coffee. In Italy or Malta, if we go to a bar and ask for coffee, ten times of ten, we're served espresso. Around the corner from my parents house is a bar (pic related) that specialises in drip style coffee. Even there, though, just asking for coffee will earn get you an espresso.
Elsewhere, espresso is just as common or nearly so while elsewhere still, if you ask for coffee in whatever the local language is, you may receive something else entirely.

Really strong drip coffee will lack some of the characteristics of espresso, particularly its body, but is a perfectly good substitute in mixed coffee drinks if you don't have access to an espresso machine. When I visiting family in Australia a few years back, we went camping. We brought a ground coffee, some sugar and a litre of milk in the cool box and brewed the coffee using a large-type Vietnamese drip pot. Because the coffee was to be mixed with milk, the lack of crema and body wasn't much noticed.

Don't be a dick. I'm not sure if you're trying a dig at me or a dig at him, but my greentxt in that post was gentle ribbing. You're just being rude. And if you meant to make a dig at him, keep in mind that it's a different country and he's in a part of it that doesn't historically have a large immigrant Italian population. Americans are not meant to know Italian terms, really, because they very rarely, if ever, encounter Italians. I was just trying to clear up that macchiato can mean more than his singular definition.

I occasionally like to order a cappuccino just so I can get a fancy mug, but typically I just order a double espresso or a pourover of my favorite beans. Matcha tea lattes are awesome too, but that's not really coffee.

>Matcha
How do you pronounce that?

Ma-cha

Mah Chah

Thanks.

Not quite, darkness of the roast has absolutely nothing to do with espresso. It's all in the grind and method.

It has to be pretty fine and has to be made in an espresso machine, but it can be as light or dark as you like. Personally I'm fond of shots made with beans than are on the light side even for brew.

Maybe it's just in Italy, France, Switzerland, Malta and so on, but to us, espresso is a particular darkness. It's darker than how the French tend to roast, but not as dark as how the Turks/Greeks tend to. I've never in my life seen 'light roast' or 'medium roast' espresso.

Also, French roasted coffee gives me a tiny jolt while espresso doesn't at all because espresso is roasted darker and caffeine is volatile, evaporating into the ether the longer, hotter and darker the bean is roasted. For this reason, I can drink espresso all day and not feel a thing, but if you give me a single cup of American coffee, I'd be vibrating like that box in your parents' nightstand.

Isn't espresso just made under pressure and regular coffee not? I'm not a coffee expert but always thought espresso just described a process of making it.

Yes, espresso is made under pressure. But that's only part of it. The grind and roast of the coffee is also different than that used for other methods.

Black or irish.