Bartender General

I worked as a professional bartender for a few years and I'd like to share some stories.

>Started bartending at 19
>now work at a brewpub

Life with beer is good I am happy.

Say a customer walks in and orders a Jameson on the rocks...

What sort of glass do you pout it in, how much ice, and how much booze?

And at what price?

I used a 9oz old fashioned glass, filled to the top with ice and then filled nearly to nearly overflowing with whiskey.

We still made 300% profit and all our customers came back and tipped very well

>bartender stories

who cares. same predictable shit i've read on the net for 20 years

>I have nothing to contribute
>I'll just talk shit

>this dude came in, he got soooooo drunk!! he hwarfed everywhere!!
>and a hot girl!! and some dude said he was a soldier but wasnt and WAOHHH
>louis ck making a dumb face

How often do people ask "What's good here?" And if so what do you tell them?

For the guys who usually drank jack and coke I would suggest Bushmills and sprite. They loved it.


Not very often where I often I worked. If they wanted to try something different I would try to suggest things based off of what they would usually order.

Rum and coke drinkers aren't going to like a Sazerac, but they might like a sidecar

Most young women don't know what a cosmopolitan actually is and it's cute to watch them spit it out

Older ladies who are used to drinking spirits will go buck wild off a couple of proper margaritas made with decent tequlia blanca and cointreau

>screaming watermelon rapes me to death
>the jokester grabbed a stemmed glass when the drink called for collins

I later on moved up to almost-fine dining places and would still get orders for apple-tinis and sex on the beach...

I mean, drink what you want. But why not just go buy a grape soda and pour some vodka in it?

Does it haunt you at night when you get tipped more than a typical server while doing far less?

Do any of you think of things logically? Like if you just opened three $2 canned beers for me and got a 2 dollar tip does it feel less or more significant as the person who ordered a $8 mixed drink and only tipped a dollar?

Also, is it true that bartenders get offended by being tipped in change? If I tip a dollar in quarters are you literally too retarded to put the change in your register and put a dollar in your tip jar?

>Does it haunt you at night when you get tipped more than a typical server while doing far less?
damn nigga, you salty
does it bother you that you get tipped far more than the cooks, despite doing far less work?

I'm the doorman I just laugh and remove one of your two normal duties after 8pm

Would you cum in a shot glass for me to drink? How much would it cost? Thanks.

>ask for the tab
>''what did we eat?''

every single day.

I worked at a bar in my twenties and this one time a dude came in all naked and smashed his penis against the prep table while I was talking to a female customer in the kitchen (we were friendly lel).

That amounts to the most bizarre story I know from when I was at a bar.

I've got a similar story, there was this group of guys at the bar hangin out, and all of a sudden one guy takes his dick out and starts pissing in front of himself, like on the side of the bar. He said he didn't feel like waiting in the line in front of the toilets.

was it a classy bar or were girls fighting and puking all the time?

Did you drink a lot yourself? I had a mormon roomate in college who bar tended because he stayed sober and was unbearably nice

I had a bar tender flip and throw 2 quarters down at my feet because it was the only change I had in my pocket.

FFS that is half a fucking dollar you stupid gash

Are you gonna actually share some stories or just have a Q&A thread?

What would you give me if i asked for a virgin vodka tonic?

>bushmills and sprite

well well my man, that's a good call

I normally drink jamesons on the rocks but I've moved to bush-mills
wouldn't mix it myself, but it would be great recommendation

just a few things
how fine of a salt should you use for a salt rim, does it matter the drink?

what is the effect of making two of the same cocktails in one shaker?
I see bartenders doing it all the time for practical reasons but I'm not sure the effect it would have on the drink

do you think a puff of burnt orange peel oil (flaming rind trick) is acceptable for a sidecar, or would it theatrics at the expense of taste

how do you put out a fire on a patron who breathes in flaming liquor?

>religion says you can't drink
>see no issue serving drinks to other people
Fucking hypocrite

>he should push his beliefs on others instead
Dirty theocrat pls go

ever heard of moral culpability
liberal shmuck

>a professional bartender

bit of a reach for what is usually considered a temporary job for the uneducated

That's poor bait m8

Nigger, he doesn't have to try to stop people from drinking, but it obviously goes against his religious beliefs to fucking advocate or encourage it.

It's the same as with any religion where people pick and choose what rules to follow. It doesn't work like that. He may as well drink because he sure as hell isn't respecting the intent of his belief system.

True story: the bartender at our local was almost like a cult leader, the place was packed with regulars every night and he had people doing things like running to the store for him and giving people rides. he'd pick people to bartend for him and they'd treat it like a it was a special honor. dude cooked a mean hamburger and had a wen the size of a grapefruit on the back of his neck.

interesting guy, always able to talk about a variety of subjects. basically ran the entire joint like his own personal kingdom of rejects

turned out he was hiding his power level and skimming at least $1000/week off the top from cash and from cooking the books when buying in liquor and beer. For YEARS. probably took $300K out of the place. came in one day and the owner (a giant bag of shit, seriously dude was 6'8 and like 450 lbs) was there, Bartender was gone and the place was basically destroyed. people legit had nervous breakdowns and fell to pieces, it was crazy as fuck.

>how fine of a salt should you use for a salt rim, does it matter the drink?

I only used kosher salt, it seemed to be the best texture to me

>what is the effect of making two of the same cocktails in one shaker?

I did it all the time for shots but never for a nice cocktail

>do you think a puff of burnt orange peel oil (flaming rind trick) is acceptable for a sidecar, or would it theatrics at the expense of taste

never wasted my time on crap like that

>do you put out a fire on a patron who breathes in flaming liquor?

Never saw it happen but I'd try baking soda first. If the fire is bad I'd pull out the extinguisher.