ITT: Cool fun trendy healthy alternatives to fatty foods

>Cool
>Fun
>Trendy
>Alternatives
Get out

I love me some 'lon 'za

>fruits
>healthy

Why do people keep letting retards handle knives? I thought this was common sense by now.

Sugar is not unhealthy

>Sugar is not unhealthy

Who the hell eats a whole cup of blackberries at a time? People who want their shit to have more shrapnel than a hand-grenade?

Do you really think that guy is eating a lot of fruits?

...

Replacement for maple syrup:

1 Bag of Chewing Tobacco
2 glass jars/bottles (Plastic will work too)
a bandanna/handkerchief
NOTE: The chew cannot be a "Mild" or "Extra Smooth" or flavored kind. It should be regular chewing tobacco.
NOTE #2: Be sure to wear latex or plastic gloves when handling. It's not good to touch it a lot.
Procedure: Put a wad of chew in one jar (or bottle as the case may be) and add just enough water to cover it. Cap the jar, shake it a couple times, and let sit overnight. In the morning, open the jar and place the bandanna over the mouth. Holding on to the bandanna as well as the jar, dump the contents into the other jar. The liquid will pass through the bandanna, and the wad will sit there. Separate the jar and the bandanna and squeeze the rest of the ball of chew through the bandanna to strain out the remaining liquid in the second jar. Discard the bandanna (with the ball of chew), first jar, and the gloves. You now have a jar containing nothing but nasty brown liquid. Sit this jar in the sun for several hours, or even all day if necessary. Over time, the water will evaporate out and the liquid will become more viscous. When it is at a consistency a little thinner than maple syrup, put it in a container (or use the jar you have) and store.

Americans are fat because of overconsumption of fat, especially animal fat. Sugar has no bearing on the fatness of Americans.
You would be hard-pressed to find a single American on a low-fat high-sugar diet. These people do not exist.

Sugar is not unhealthy: facts that make Americans uncomfortable.

If you actually cared to look at the facts - even a casual Google search is enough - cheese consumption is up, meat consumption is up, vegetable consumption is down - since 1960.

Sugar consumption is up since 1960 - but sugar consumption has increased 3 times more between 1820 and 1920 than between 1960 and 2000. The rate of increase for sugar consumption has slowed down dramatically in the 20th century.

Also, sugar consumption as percentage of energy intake has increased very little since 1960. It has increased incredibly quickly in the 19th century. People in the 19th century did not become obese and did not develop diabetes, all the while they were loading up on sugar, pouring it into coffee, tea, and eating industrially processed SWEETS (sweets are LOW-FAT sugar-based snacks, not fucking deep-fried donuts and buttered chocolate)

I laughed too hard at this

>All that sugar while living a sedentary life.
Im guessing youre going to loose the left foot first.

this comment is better than this whole thread

Hat will be 15.25 plus tip

that's literally exactly the standard mark up for a resturant

Ok so if anyone is stupid enough to believe this troll

Don't do it you'll kill yourself

Well it's vegan 'za

I sure do love me my cup of bananas in the morning

I have been doing this for years. It's not as good as real maple syrup but it beats Mrs Butterworth. When I first learned about this trick I thought it was bs as well but don't knock it till you try it. I prefer Redman over beech nut, has a nice honey flavor with just a hint of cinnamon.

Typically the restaurant would do more with the ingredients than spend 5 seconds cutting it

I am italian and what is dis

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

this teebeeyetch

...

I read all that shit in one sentence, i nearly died.
Fun read tho

the icuckoldry is strong with this family

>implying fat people get fat off fruit
>implying fructose accompanied with water and fiber is equivalent to injecting sucrose straight into your asshole

Why the fuck would anyone measure fruit in volume?
Fucking Americans

>>>/tumblr/

I was gonna ask for this copy pasta cus i was reminded by OP pic. thanks for posting

>not drinking your apples

Seriously though, measuring shit like that in cups is the most obnoxious thing.

hits too close to home tbqh

that's a picture of a canadian

how do you know

internet detectives

did you seriously have this gif ready to go

yeah this is an imageboard and I have images ready for my posts

kys my man

you're the one that asked why I knew

stop replying to me

ok

This thread is shit but I got inspired by this joke picture, I cut half a cucumber into 8 medium thick slices that I put cheese and ham on, and some onion salt on top. No carbs, very fresh.

Saved for future food gore threads.
Thanks my man.

>hi i dont know how the glucose cycle works.

You ignorant swine.

sauce on that pic?

>because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper
every time

is that manga ever starting up again?

The horror, the horror!

It's an American tourist, Canadians are slanty eyed

Awesome read.
>got a chuckle out from the dimwitted dad, i bet he has the mouth crooked like a fucking oyster
>felt sad for the mom

God damn this is infuriating to watch, how are they so awkward when they've apparently got a professionally stocked kitchen?
>cuts one end off with their arms crossed instead of just spinning it around
>jam the template into it for no reason, can't get it out later
>constantly hesitating because a circle is a really difficult shape
>dragging the giant knife towards themselves
>ice like they've never seen a cake before
>just wander off mid video for a minute and a half
>pathetically half hearted nut coating
>let's just jam some strawberry stalks in
>fuck where does this kiwi slice go

>sugar cubes
Rly?

that watermelon is total dogshit. no flavor at all.

This is way more disappointing then I thought it would be. I expected crap and was surprised it was worse than that.

How is this an "alternative" they're is literally nothing simular about this to pizza than how it looks. If I want a healthy alternative to something, then I want something has the same or similar taste but with fewer calories/fat. Not something that will in no way taste like that you want, but just looks cute. Fucking retarded.

If you want it to be similar, you want a substitute.

>Americans are fat because of overconsumption of fat

Stopped reading there. Try getting your nutritional knowledge from somewhere outside a women's health magazine.

When I posted that someone thought it looked tasty.

Looks okay to me, I like cucumbers tho

Yes, that's literally a synonym for "alternative" you fucking illiterate

You made a thread about this yesterday. It wasn't funny then, and it's not funny now.

the almond on the sides was insane too

at first it looked like they wanted to just have it on the side and not the footer frosting, but then gave up after completely fucking it up

haha i got this from buff dudes lol

This would be ok if you sliced it and made it a party snack or something

Substitutle is neutral. alternative is nearly always political in usage.

Fat doesn't make you fat stupid. Its high.amounts of calories and lack of activity.
Which is why a lot of Americans are fat.

i'll reply to whomever I want to sir

How many spoons of HFCS in each serving?

>overachiever
>B+
What the fuck.
Not straight As?

No it isn't

Copy pasta kino

>cake video
>doesn't show pic of a slice afterwards
Fuck right off

youtu.be/1saW5_azuSE

Are you German?

youtube.com/watch?v=GCskX7vthQ4

Holy shit its the vegan version of Jack.

I live in Canada, I've only ever seen one man and one woman this fat here. I've traveled to the states for work, I see people this fat nearly every day, it's absolutely sickening how common they are.

That is the most unripe watermelon I've ever seen.

I read that as "unique" watermelon, so I watched the whole video almost twice back to back trying to figure out why the watermelon was so unique

Out ketotard.

cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5304a3.htm

cucumber and ham is a good combination, cream cheese on it, cutting the center, not pelling or cuting it thin is retarded but now i want a salad for dinner tho

well its vegan so they have to make it as shitty as posible

>awkwardly cuts water melon on an unstable serving platter.
>cuts it into 8ths
>places fruit on top of it

I must have missed something here.

Turkey, Dijon mustard, and leaf lettuce all wrapped up is pretty good and low-carb/calorie too, family

My that logic vitamin A is unhealthy. Everything is unhealthy in high doses.

Cyanide is not unhealthy with that same proviso.

i would eat this in a flash

most of my daily consumption of food consists of reaching into the fridge for a green thing, a piece of meat or cheese and dipping the handful into some kind of dressing

Is this Veeky Forums's way of making crystals?

For anyone wondering, this produces pure nicotine, which is lethal in nanogram doses.