Pretentious cooking terms thread?

> Rustic

Sloppy presentation

> Deconstructed

I don't know how to cook this, but I know it has these ingredients

> Artisinal

I spent $40, instead of $3, for this arugula

> Foraged

Found this dead crow near these unidentified berries. $50, please.

> Signature

Attention whore

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>pretentious
I'm a socially awkward poorfag who hates fun and anyone who has the gall to have it

> I need to identify myself through words because my cooking is weak and my wife prefers her bull over me.

lrn2catalog

>umami
how is this different from savory? i've heard the literal translation is like, salty hamburger


also
>mouthfeel

Can we add to that
>eat clean

I have an eating disorder but limiting myself to goji berries and flax seeds makes me feel so much more special than sticking a toothbrush down my throat

Probably best if you stick with McDonald's, OP.

McDonald's thread? Big n tasty comin through

goji berries have heavy metal contamination, do you even clean eating?

do you have any pictures of her nipples? my dad was wondering

I think mouthfeel is a fine category when describing a few things.

Coffee or wine, for example, you could use mouthfeel to explain whether the drink feels more muddy, syrupy, full-bodied, or clean

Whether something is pretentious is very much a matter of intent and situation. Shit that would be incredibly pretentious at a backyard cook out might just be normal in a fine dining situation.

I read your examples as follows:
>Rustic
This dish intentionally bucks the kind of urbanized bourgeois expectations of fine dining.
>Deconstructed
This dish will not arrive looking like you'd normally expect.
>Artisinal
This was not made in a factory or food science lab, which is why it costs a little more.
>Foraged
This stuff grew wild, and we had to pay some guy to go find it and bring it to us. It is both hyper-local and seasonal, and supply is very limited. We have it, and if you want it you're gonna pay for the privilege.
>Signature
We made this one up, but we're confident it's good.

>This was not made in a factory or food science lab, which is why it costs a little more.
Shouldn't you be campaigning against vaccines, jenny?

Mouthfeel is a very specific term used in wine tastings.
You would know this if you had an actual interest in food rather than being a cross board shitposter.

You shouldn't worry about things that are socially and financially out of your reach.
>pic related

lol at all the posers ITT

The point is a certain type of customer will pay extra for that, especially when it comes to products whose quality suffers under such production like bread, cheese, cured meats and the like.

Nah, even in this photo she looks saggy and unattractively shaped. Not worth the effort looking

Retard

Comfort food

>make a lot because fat people like it

Rach has very weird tits, like little nozzles. Jodie Foster has/had tits like that, too. Misshapen babby feeders. Kind of disturbing.

youtube.com/watch?v=qHcjKCORVd8

>ywnrh

:(

Quality post, on MY Veeky Forums? This place has gone to shit.
The only thing I'd add to 'artisanal' is that it usually denotes a very localized, if not peasant style: artisanal bread for instance would be the kind your poor, uneducated grandmother from region x made every morning and never kept a recipe for.
Pretentiousness is your very post

you mean kind of ultra sexy

Umami is slightly different than savory, as it relates directly to glutemates whereas savory includes a few other things.

Mouthfeel and textrue are different as well, one is physical, and the other cannot be measured in a lab setting and is specifically how it feels in the mouth. Classic example is a dry wine.

That's what happens when a woman is barrel chested.

>artisanal bread for instance would be the kind your poor, uneducated grandmother from region x made every morning

That's weird, because to me, the term 'artisanal' denotes something made by specialist skilled laborers. So bread made by a baker or pies made by a butcher are artisanal, but bread that I make at home is not artisanal, because I am not a skilled laborer in terms of breadmaking.

"sexy" is a word I have never used when discussing Ms Raye

would bang, but here's some real sexy, oh yes, quite sexy

Those look pretty umami to me

my sides

except for the horrible fake smile she always has

>Pretentious cooking terms

OFF
THE
CHAIN

if you find me a mcdonald's anywhere in the world that actually serves burgers that look that good, i'll suck your dick and give you 20 minutes to draw a crowd.

She was raped by her father, she's not going to be real-smiling any time soon

....would she....?

well what's more pretentious than wine tasting? i mean, look at your post

also i meant when people use the word for solid food

The trick to getting perfect McDonalds food is that you gotta try different locations.

There are certain McDonald's stores that are basically a front, which they use for corporate training of regional managers, and is thus held to much higher standards. Shit looks like the picture every time.

...

Low Test

definitely not the ones i've been to. they look more like research labs that are testing the burger's ability to replace packing peanuts

x temperature ingredient