Awful restaurant experiences

Yeah, parents shouldn't play with their kids. Put them in a bubble.

I never said that. Don't you think that's strawmanning? Unless you're just being sarcastic, but I can't tell anymore.

How is it strawmanning? He's playing with the baby. Not complicated.

I take delivery orders for a restaurant and do other miscellaneous shit.

>can i get the spicy soup with no jalapenos?

>new customer, ask for address
>gives me the building number and street
>"is it an apartment or house?"
>sometimes I just get "yes" as a response or
>"apartment" and then silence, not even telling me the door code

>"can i get the plate with no rice and instead a side of spring salad?"
>tell them its $1.00 extra charge and they try to haggle with me thinking they can trade easy peasy

>I pick up the phone
>a woman immediately begins yelling for two minutes straight
>in those two minutes she says her food was cold which isn't possible because she order for a specific time and we don't make the things she ordered ahead of time, she had no fork which is possible, and no mayo(we don't serve)
>in those two minutes she also said"you think you can disrespect us because you know we are black?"
>she finally stops talking, but wait, its only because she ran out of breath because she is actually wheezing as i take my chance to talk
>there wasn't any resolution to this because she didnt want a refund or fresh food delivered so shes probably just fucking around

>man calls and orders
>he is obviously drunk as fuck but we manage to get through it
>three hours later he calls again
>hes saying he has everything but his sandwich
>investigate, its been three hours whys he calling now? and such
>check the camera, the boys packed his sandwich alright, then i asked the driver and he told me the guy could barely manage to open the door and pay him
>suggests the customer ate the sandwich then forgot lmao
>tell customer i cant help him because i can see it was packed in to his bags and he hangs up as expected

I thought you were implying that because I said the pin thing could scratch its face and it was funny in a kind of mean, irresponsible way, that I was saying that parents should keep their kids in a bubble. I wanted to know why you made that leap. Yes, I was triggered, you got me, user.

>implying
So you're actively being retarded and complaining about words that aren't there.

I work on fire alarms, and I am frequently working in restaurant kitchens, and not one of them has ever failed to disgust me.

Thankfully, you'll never have kids.

Thank you for bringing this thread on track

What? You just said here,
that I was saying to keep babby in a bubble, which I never implied. You're arguing in circles, man.

Damm they just end up like grease traps? Does it ever make them inoperable?

No one keeps baby in the corner!

>get call
>woman says one of her meat plates /w rice is missing the meat
>i immediately confirm again the she has a plate of only rice and salad and no meat
>she tells me yes and I know that its obviously bullshit
>i tell the grill guys and we both joke about it and such
>i tell her we'll make her order fresh, and send it over but she has to give us her plate of just rice
>why? because meat is seasoned and stains the rice, so we'll know if she simply took the meat off and lied, or if it was never there in the first place
>she gets flustered "do you want my daughter to starve huh? im going to at least feed her the rice right now"
>at the point i chuckle audibly on the phone and she agrees to my terms
>as expected she refused to give the driver her "mistaken" order when he got there

>woman calls and says her chicken is really unusually spicy
>go through the regular motions, talk to grill guys they don't know anything
>we send someone over to give her a refund and take her plate back
>turns out the chicken had our hot sauce poured all over it, she probably got full on her other items and decided she didnt want leftovers so she just sauced it herself and lied

>woman calls, sounds middle aged by the sound of her voice
>get through the order pretty normally, but towards the end she says last time she ordered she wanted a 2L diet coke and we delivered a regular coke to her
>she says she has not touched this 2L coke and will return it to us for the 2L diet coke
>i ask her when was the last time she ordered and she says one week
>i check the computer history and it was actually 2 days off being 1 entire month
>i tell her I know she lied, and even if it was 1 week ago we wouldn't do something like that, and anytime she has a problem with her order she should call the day of
>flustered, asking why we're being so difficult
>i just ask her "did you save the food from a month ago too?"

That's a crappy leap, babies are sensitive and you tale care of them the best you can and don't put them in danger for a shitty picture for your Facebook friends. Most of us would do silly things like this because we would not think about the consequences, but truth is that these toys are not made for stuffing in babies faces, there is plenty of toys made for babies, yea, your Kid might choke and Die on a tested safe toy, but then you would atleast have done your best.

All sorts of stuff. Ceiling tiles just trap grease vapors and our device is always right in the middle. There are also a lot of ground faults from spills and stuff.

>Work in a hotel kitchen
>Get a barrage of orders
>Kitchen puts everything out, no problem
>Even crowded a prep table to fill all the orders
>No waiters come in for twenty minutes no matter how much we ring the bell or call for them
>When we finally get someone in, they complain that they're not serving the food cold or that it's been under the heat lamp for too long
>No happy ending.

>he doesnt play underwater caged shopping cart bench press homeless guy babysitter chess with his kid

>man calls
>says he ordered pickup but hes double parked outside
>asks if someone can bring it to him(usually me)
>i don't mind, but its very busy so i ask my manager and he says no
>tell customer its too busy and he says in a very thick accent
>"zug miyah dink"

>pick up phone, woman just immediately starts saying her phone number
>our computer is retarded and i need to choose if its a delivery or pick up first before being allowed to input a phone number
>tell her to hold on and ask
>"ugh, can you be faster honey? i dont have all day so listen up"
>i signed her up for random shit online to fuck with her

>working as a waiter today
>customer gets his food
>eats 75% of it, then calls me over
>says he ordered something else and wants his correct order
>tell him thats fine, but i have to charge him for the plate he got incorrectly because he ate 75% of it
>gets fucking furious and starts screaming, he motions to grab me and i flinch because im alot smaller than this dude, but busboys intervened and he got kicked out

>work in grocery store
>work in seafood department
>third day
>almost no training whatsoever
>"Hello yes I'd like you to skin this whole salmon fillet for me"
>"Uh...o-okay"
>sharpen the shit out of a gigantic knife
>sorta remember seeing a chef skin one of these on tv
>slice into it like Ramsay, to realize 3 seconds later I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing
>try to push the fillet against the knife like it were an industrial strength laser-blade
>knife slides through soft salmon, slices a gash in my palm so deep that I can see fat and muscle
>ah fuck I'm bleeding everywhere
>ah fuck I don't want to get fired
>ah fuck I've bled on the salmon
>"I need to g-get a bandaid or something, I'm sorry" I say as I rush past the customer
>"Can't you just throw another glove on?"
>panic and do as I'm told, butchering the shit out of the fillet, throwing on new gloves and wrapping my hand in paper towel
>wrap salmon up, hands trembling and feeling lightheaded
>hand it to her
>"Ew there's blood on this. That's disgusting. You should know better."

I once looked in the direction of an applebees. I got food poisoning from that

>seafood place
>whole family sharing a platter for 2, thing is huge
>black family of like 12 ordered all you can eat shrimp
>two waiteresses
>they are shouting, kids are getting up and running around
>fat women keep shouting for more shrimp, they wolf 10 down in a few bites
>kid throws french fry at me
>im fucking pissed, speak to the manager
>"if we make them leave, they wont pay, so im sorry we will give your table $10 off."
>hey, thats pretty good.
>hear a shriek
>"theres a roach in my food!"
>manager approaches
>"we dont have roaches, we had an inspection 2 days ago with a 99/100... "
>hear a shriek again
"We aint paying, come on, lets go."
>cops get called
>waitress tries to stop them and the yung thug nigga pushes her out of the way
>we stay for the fun of it, order some beer
>one lady dropped her wallet, the staff got license plates
>they gave us the beer for free too
>they even gave us like 20 free shrimp because we were the last customers that night
>we gave the waitresses serving the black family $20 each

Fond memories

I got a few

>Be young, 7-8
>Go to a Japanese restaurant where they grill the food in front of you
>Get "The Fish of The Day"
>It was supposed to be "Atlantic Something", idk, I don't really remember
>Fucking love fish as a kid
>Chef starts cooking the filet on grill
>He's searing it on one side when it starts moving slightly
>Figure it's just the moisture evaporating
>See a bunch of stuff bubbling up on top of the filet
>lolwut
>Worms
>Worms crawling away from the heat
>Chef looks shocked
>Family is shocked
>I am shocked
>Chef is literally speechless, sprints to the back room to get his manager
>Watch as the little white worms crawl out of the fish and then fall onto the grill
>They're still trying to wriggle away
>Entire place is starting to smell like burnt fish
>Our table's check is waived
>Get free steak instead
>Can't even eat it cause lost my appetite
>Still can't eat any fish besides salmon

>Years later
>Work at a well known seafood-chain
>Have to cook entrees
>Constantly gagging at the smell of fish, can barely keep my vomit down when I have to cook it
>Throw up after shift almost every time
>One night, huge order, table of 8 people all orders trout
>Trying to keep up with orders while frying all this trout in a pan
>I see little bubbling movements on top of the fish (It was probably just grease or something, but this was at the end of a long day)
>Can't do it, vomit into pan
>No one notices
>Quickly dispose of evidence
>Boss is pissed, says I threw out perfectly good trout
>Quit job
>Never go near seafood again

You worked at a seafood place....
Cooking fish....
With a deep fear of fish....
And are repulsed by fish....

No. I dont believe it.

I worked as a CSR and sometimes ran shifts at Domino's while in school.

>just started working a few weeks ago
>come into the store, say hello to the GM
>GM looks tired, doesn't seem coordinated and is unresponsive to me
>ask another CSR what's up
>"Oh, don't worry about her, she's just drunk."

>often get calls from hotels
>one man calls from a Days Inn, sounds calm but inebriated
>ask what he wants, says he wants "wings so hot his asshole will burn in the morning"

>loud-mouthed big-talking 19-year-old kid starts talking shit about one of the older drivers
>driver gets fed up with him, says he'll kick the kid's ass if he doesn't shut up, but it makes no difference
>driver finally punches him in the face, knocking his head into the sink
>kid runs up to the front counter and presses the panic button
>cops show up, GM shows up
>kid spends next half hour literally crying in the office talking to the GM
>kid calls off the next day, doesn't speak to anyone at the store for nearly a week

>nice but incredibly dumb girl starts working as a CSR
>man with an amputated leg comes in to pick up his pizza, she goes and gets it
>I stop her on her way to him and tell her to offer to help him out to his car
>she asks and he thanks her, but declines
>as he's leaving she says "have a nice night, I hope your leg gets better"

>In Tifton, GA for business trip
>Last night of 3 weeks there
>Go to Logan's Steakhouse for dinner
>Sit at the bar, order a beer, and a steak for dinner
>look up at one of many TV's displayed around bar
>Commercial is playing for a Tummy Tuck product
>AbsolutelyDisgusting.png
>look up again 5 minutes later, still playing
>mfw I realize it's an infomercial
>I have no face
>No end in sight, beer alone will not suffice
>Infomercial showing hamplanets lathering up in jelly and forcing spandex wrap around their exposed rolls of fat
>ask the bartender to change the channel
>"what would you rather watch?"
>"Honestly, static would be better than this, I'm losing my appetite."
>bartender changes channel on main screen, but TV directly in front of me still showing tumbler cunts in bandaid belts
>asks me if I want another beer.
>I still have about an inch and a half left in my glass, but need to self medicate is strong. Yes please.
>bartender immediately takes away my unfinished glass, dumps beer down the drain, and refills it with a new beer
>all of my wat
>steak arrives that I had ordered medium rare master race
>steak is ultra well done, and all I taste is salt and hatred
>stand up and walk out

>as he's leaving she says "have a nice night, I hope your leg gets better"
my sides

you just couldn't get someone else to skin that salmon fillet?

Lol

I worked at a restaurant out in the mountains up until a week ago. We had a guy get shitfaced drunk and try to hang himself in the bathrooms.

He was a regular. Came in twice a week at least, and never had any problems. But he drank too much, and apparently the fact that a black couple came in to eat was too much for him to bare, because he muttered some obscenities and headed to the restroom.

We're only an hour away from San Diego, so it's not like black people are fucking rare here.

Anyways, he came back in a few days later and apologized, and asked if we had any way to contact the couple so he could apologize to them as well. We told him it was pointless. The couple had no idea he was upset, let alone upset at them. Hell, not even we knew until he told us.

the second one ripped out my sides

Not everyone has the luxury to be picky about where they work.

>as he's leaving she says "have a nice night, I hope your leg gets better"

>we gave the waitresses serving the black family $20 each
Stuff like this changes peoples perspectives on things. You turned that into a shitty story they tell people to a hilarious one with a good ending.

>Go into pizzeria
>See menu Pepperoni pizza has extra hot paprika on it
>"I would like to order a pepperoni pizza"
>"What kid of salami would you like on it,spicy or regular?"
>"Spicy,but no paprika pls"
>"We don't put paprika on it,do you mean you want non-spicy salami"
>"No,I want spicy salami,withouth the hot pepper"
>"We don't put pepper on it"
>"Great"
>Get order
>Open box
>Pizza still had fucking ultra strong paprika on it

The airhorn got me.

>paprika
>ultra-strong

Maybe if you weren`t an ultra-fag you wouldn`t have to cry about it.

why,green chili isn't a paprika?

whole family went to "the other" chinese restaurant in town. only reason its open is because of gold, and highway traffic. no one in their right mind eats there if a townie or have iron guts.

dad is an idiot and says this is where we re eating. he proceeds to get utterly shitace drunk, and everyone in the restaurant comes down with some case of the burps, farts, or the atomic mudbutt. its like a cronenberg film.

i still have shudders to this day.

In the English language the term "paprika" refers to the dried powdered spice made from pic related.

We don't use the term "paprika" to refer to the whole pepper.

Are you retarded?

Sounds like you're a retard.
They didn't put paprika on the pizza.
The hot flavor came from the "spicy salami" you asked for. The paprika was inside the salami. That's what made it spicy salami instead of regular salami.

It sounds like he's a non-native English speaker.

In some places of the world they use the word "paprika" to refer to whole peppers, the same way that we'd use the term "bell pepper".

Not really a restraunts or about the employees or service but I never seen a taco bell until yesterday and got excited, I've always seen commercials and shit, got two burritos and cheese fries and God damn was it awful. I don't know why I was expecting otherwise. The cheese fries were acceptable but those damn burritos were basically a scoop of canned chili onto a cold wrap couldn't finish one of them.

>want some greasy chinese food
>but my favorite restaurant is closed
>decide to order out from a brand new one that had just opened this year

it was absolutely fucking horrifying what I had.

>rice was bland, vegetables in it were undercooked
>egg rolls were PACKED with cabbage and nothing else
>chicken balls were 25% chicken, 75% dough
>the sauce
>THE SAUCE
>THE
>SAUCE
>had ketchup in it

it was quite honestly the worst chinese food I had ever had, baring find a dead rat in my next meal i don't think it'll ever be topped.

>restaurant complaint
>the man and his teenage daughter were seated out of order on the list.
>below them but seated first was an elderly couple
>in front of them (but they thought it was out of order) a family with a couple of kids
>accused the hostess of being racist

Another one:
>party of 3 with a baby
>waiting longer than they would like for food
>finally, the whole party gets up an goes out the door
>shit
>staff out now ready food
>busboy clears and prepares table for next party
>next party is sat
>cue return of original 3 top
>oh my god: you cleared our table!
>what the hell?
>we just needed to take the baby for a walk
>the *entire* party, purses and all, intending to return to their empty table

I should clarify that I work in an insanely busy tiny brunch restautant with an hour wait. We turn over tables fast.

god if you worked in my department, i'd can your ass so fucking fast

>work at kfc throughout high school part-time
>typically work weekend closing shifts and sundays
>a couple months after i started, was working a saturday night
>20 minutes to close, very greasy asian dude with thick glasses and hoodie comes in
>hood is up and he's hovering his right hand over his face wherever he walks
>doesn't order anything, just goes straight into the bathroom
>I get my supervisor and ask about it
>"Yeah that's steve, he comes in some saturday nights and gets high in the bathroom.. we've been meaning to deal with it but there's nothing we can really do"
>wtf.jpg
>he comes out about 5 mins later, tries to discreetly put a balled up tissue into the garbage
>supervisor goes into the bathroom after he leaves to check it
>cocaine and semen smeared all over the counter/mirrors
>room smells like chemicals (i.e. meth)

this persisted for several months. he'd even come in for our tuesday special every week and knew our general manager's name.

eventually a supervisor stopped him when he came in one saturday and told him to get out, but thinking back on it it's ridiculous how long they let it go on for.

I was having dinner at a nice restaurant called Bridges with my partner and her three kids for her birthday, along with their elderly lady nanny.

I decided to order the jambalaya but I asked the waiter to make mine not spicy (because I'm allergic to pepper). The food arrived quickly and it looked terrific but as soon as I took the first bite I started to cough, then began to choke. To my horror I realized that the jambalaya had pepper in it - a LOT of pepper. The choking got worse and I couldn't breathe but then the nanny came running over yelling

"HELP IS ON THE WAY DEAR!"

She got into position behind me and started to firmly give me the heimlich maneuver. After what felt like forever a piece of shrimp flew out of my throat and suddenly I could breathe again. I turn to thank her for saving my life but I froze when I saw that her "face" was a prosthetic and had peeled off. My date's nanny was a man!I was having dinner at a nice restaurant called Bridges with my partner and her three kids for her birthday, along with their elderly lady nanny.

I decided to order the jambalaya but I asked the waiter to make mine not spicy (because I'm allergic to pepper). The food arrived quickly and it looked terrific but as soon as I took the first bite I started to cough, then began to choke. To my horror I realized that the jambalaya had pepper in it - a LOT of pepper. The choking got worse and I couldn't breathe but then the nanny came running over yelling

"HELP IS ON THE WAY DEAR!"

She got into position behind me and started to firmly give me the heimlich maneuver. After what felt like forever a piece of shrimp flew out of my throat and suddenly I could breathe again. I turn to thank her for saving my life but I froze when I saw that her "face" was a prosthetic and had peeled off. My date's nanny was a man!

>tfw ate at Bridges all the time as a kid & mom signed waivers for us to eat lunch there during filming

>because I'm allergic to pepper

First off, that's not a thing.

Second, don't go to a fucking Cajun restaurant and order jambalaya if you don't like pepper.

...

...

You need to watch more movies.

doubt that will help him, i dont get the reference at all but i noticed that it was fake from a mile away due to the weirdness

it's a fucking "Mrs. Doubtfire" scene

literally

I really want to ask these people questions. Do people like that think everyone can read their minds?
How the fuck did they expect anyone to to think otherwise if they all left the restuarant with their stuff not even leaving a message behind saying they'll be back

This wouldn't be in Kansas City would it?

This is some weapons grade autism. Please don't reproduce.

My family...

We're the people who mockingly and sarcastically clap and cheer when a server drops a tray.

Yeah. Did you know servers fucking hate you?

Robin williams is honestly shit tier. Only good in jack, aladdin, and dead poet society

Good Morning Vietnam is pretty good

oh honey...

>with my partner

stopped reading there desu

>be cook in restaurant
>Every other day is awful restaurant experience
>No longer tip at all when eating out and hate servers with a passion, even if I don't know them personally.

>with my partner and her three kids

betabux

>hate servers with a passion
worked in a restaraunt and i developed this hatred. fuck tipping. it breeds entitled bitches

>Busy fucking night
>7 hour rush that doesn't let up
>Entire board is filled with tickets the entire time
>Finally end of night
>Out in smoke pit hitting pipe with the dish washer
>Server comes out and starts bitching about how cheap people are
>She cried about only making $220 in tips
>Asks the dish washer to sort the rest of the silverware for him(server's job but he's a cuck)
>Doesn't give him any money
>Go back in to clock out
>Left the sauces out for one of us to do
>Ignore it, not my job
>Go home
>Get yelled at next day for leaving sauces out
Her employee meals were full of spit and floor seasoning after that

>Racists in California Lynch themselves instead of the nig nogs
Fucking liberals

>The ENTIRE party
>Only 3 people
Wouldn't help that serves are fucking retards with no common sense

>at a resort in Cuba
>two seating times for the buffet
>go to the first seating and look for a table for five
>find two decently long tables pushed together with only a purse at the very end
>half way through our meal, a giant greek family told us this was their table because they put one measly purse down for 8 - 10 seats
>mom stands her ground that if they wanted the whole table they should have made that clear
Later a few people came up to say that the greek family are kind of jerks and they're glad someone stood up to them.

I worked in a chinese restaurant where the place wasn't electrically grounded. One day I touched two metal tables and got zapped and told the manager and he said, "Oh yeah, just gotta watch out for that"

>Cashier at Long John Silvers at 16, first job
>Cashiers also in charge of delivering orders to eat-in customers
>Kitchen is run by a tiny but broad Russian man who would educate me on the finer teachings of Leninism
>Absolutely bro as fuck
>But also has a penchant for bumping off orders that are nowhere near started
>Does this one busy Sunday morning
>Woman orders around 11am
>Noon comes around
>Trotsky back there bumped her order off ages ago
>"Uh sir there's a problem out here"
>She had gone into diabetic shock

>Sandwich Artist™ at the local Subway™
>The owners put me at one of their smaller stores that summer, so dinner was staffed by only two people
>Halfway through the summer, there's a new hire
>4'10" and profoundly off-the-deep-end autistic
>not Veeky Forums """autistic""", legitimate and crippling 'tism
>Stuck with him this fateful Thursday evening
>Hate having him on the line with me because no matter what station he's at it becomes a chokepoint because he's either meticulously placing the deli meats in precalculated positions or hoisting himself onto the line so he can reach the back row
>Dinner rush gets into full gear, call him off of washing dishes to come out and help me
>Starts putting on his gloves
>His hands are still a bit moist from the dishwater so the gloves are sticking like madmen to his skin
>Can't get them on
>Pause my artistry to watch
>He's getting more and more agitated, give him a once-over to make sure he's not about to shoot up the place
>After about 20 seconds of pulling at them, he snaps
>One glove dangling from his tiny hand, he bolts off the line, past customers, and out the door
>Stand deadpan as I watch his tiny frame clumsily sprint across the parking lot before disappearing into the woods
>Never saw him again
Which is just a long way of saying I had to handle the rest of the day alone, since no sane employee picks up a phone call from the manager at 5:30pm.
I kek about it today, but I was shitting my goddamn pants at the time.

>cheese fries
Where the fuck are you from? Taco Bell doesn't have cheese fries in America (although it really should).

It used to, a long time ago. Were you born in the 90s?

1990, actually.

But I also heard that other countries have cheese fries on their menus. I always wondered why America hadn't done it yet.

you sound incredibly retarded

>her three kids
Cuck detected

Common sense would have someone stay at the table or at least notify someone that the whole group was leaving but coming back.

>c
>v
>v
Nice

i loved that movie

>2pl8 bench
Is this what they mean by babyweight

Jack is shit tier you fucking pleb. The Birdcage and one hour photo are his best.

>I know she lied, and even if it was 1 week ago we wouldn't do something like that, and anytime she has a proble
at least you know the fish wasn't frozen.

CSR?

>reverse image search
>mortal kombat x leatherface

>servers fucking up and telling the customers it's the kitchens fault

We were in this restaurant in Saigon and this kid comes up, this kid carrying a shoe-shine box. And he says "Shine, please, shine!" I said no. He kept askin', yeah, and Joey said "Yeah." And I went to get a couple of beers, and the box was wired, and he opened up the box, fucking blew his body all over the place. And he's laying there, he's fucking screaming. There's pieces of him all over me, just like this, and I'm tryin' to pull him off, you know, my friend that's all over me! I've got blood and everything and I'm tryin' to hold him together! I'm puttin'... the guy's fuckin' insides keep coming out! And nobody would help! Nobody would help! He's saying, sayin' "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!" He keeps calling my name! "I wanna go home, Johnny! I wanna drive my Chevy!" I said "With what? I can't find your fuckin' legs! I can't find your legs!"

>all over the place. And he's laying there, he's fucking screaming. There's pieces of him all over me, just like this, and I'm tryin' to pull him off, you know, my friend that's all over me! I've got blood and everything and I'm tryin' to hold him together! I'm puttin'... the guy's fuckin' insides keep coming out! And nobody
where is this from?

google.com/search?q=We were in this restaurant in Saigon and this kid comes up, this kid carrying a shoe-shine box. And he says "Shine, please, shine!" I said no. He kept askin', yeah, and Joey said "Yeah." And I went to get a couple of beers, and the box was wired, and he opened up the box, fucking blew his body all over the place. And he's laying there, he's fucking screaming. There's pieces of him all over me, just like this, and I'm tryin' to pull him off, you know, my friend that's all over me! I've got blood and everything and I'm tryin' to hold him together! I'm puttin'... the guy's fuckin' insides keep coming out! And nobody would help! Nobody would help! He's saying, sayin' "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!" He keeps calling my name! "I wanna go home, Johnny! I wanna drive my Chevy!" I said "With what? I can't find your fuckin' legs! I can't find your legs!"&oq=We were in this restaurant in Saigon and this kid comes up, this kid carrying a shoe-shine box. And he says "Shine, please, shine!" I said no. He kept askin', yeah, and Joey said "Yeah." And I went to get a couple of beers, and the box was wired, and he opened up the box, fucking blew his body all over the place. And he's laying there, he's fucking screaming. There's pieces of him all over me, just like this, and I'm tryin' to pull him off, you know, my friend that's all over me! I've got blood and everything and I'm tryin' to hold him together! I'm puttin'... the guy's fuckin' insides keep coming out! And nobody would help! Nobody would help! He's saying, sayin' "I wanna go home! I wanna go home!" He keeps calling my name! "I wanna go home, Johnny! I wanna drive my Chevy!" I said "With what? I can't find your fuckin' legs! I can't find your legs!"&aqs=chrome..69i57j69i64l2&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8