Hey Veeky Forums

Hey Veeky Forums,

First attempt at salsa verde tonight. You can see me fuck up in real-time

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=vq3eT2wCz4w
youtu.be/UucArTAepnY?t=212
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

that's flat leaf parsley

Well, go on then jiggaboo.

no its not look at the leaves dummy
they aren't pointed

every time I see you post I tell you I like your cutting board

Sorry Hulk, prepping tomatillos takes longer than I'd thought. Sticky bastards

I do it all for you, baby


Going under the broiler until they're nice and burnt up

>parsley

I forgive you. Tomatillos are kind of a pain to prep, but they're so good.

Not enough jalapenos

I dunno. Three of these seemed plenty

Get those fucking onions out of that pan. Biggest mistake I have made with salsa verde.

So what's your salsa verde? Tomatillos, jalapeños and garlic?

:3

Don't roast the onions, he means. You want to blend them raw.

You think? Should I throw in another raw onion, or is that pointless at this stage?

Eh, looks fine to me. Wish my broiler got a little hotter though

Little garlic, oil, cumin and oregano

I've done it both ways. I enjoy roasting the onions just the same.

Good man not skimping on the cumin.

Everything's in, with a bit of chicken stock

Word. They smelled amazing. I regret nothing

You have done nothing wrong at all in my opinion. I char mine on my grill or on my gas burner but broiling works fine as well. You can also put the jalapenos in a ziploc and let them steam so the skin peels off if you so desire. Really doesn't matter. Keep going user!

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

Whoa.

Nice creamy texture. Gonna use it to fill some breakfast burritos.

Also, sage words from . Needed more jalapeños. How did he know?

You should have taken the photos then posted, mate. Hard to cook and upload photos `

This. Use the onions raw. Broil the garlic.

I've done both. When I'm just making one item, it's usually fine


Just hit it with some cilantro and lime juice. Gonna reduce a bit, then I think I'm done

ya blew it

>How did he know?
I make a lot of things with jalapenos. They're like half of my garden

...

Your wisdom is palpable


I was afraid of making it too hot, my girlfriend can't handle heat at all

this started okay and then soon became a live-time horror story
op what the fuck is wrong with you

Did you come up with this recipe? I'm wondering how one could fuck up such a simple thing so badly.

post your gf

>insults
>no specifics

Typical.

post your recipe

Mate, I have never seen a holocaust like this one.

kill your gf

Salsa verde is supposed to be a light, tangy, slightly acidic topping. Roasting everything just makes it all a sugary (green ketchup) thing. The addition of fat from the chicken stock is disgusting and defeats it's purpose. Why not add cream or milk if you want it "creamy?" It also doesn't need lime, and where the fuck did the cumin come from?

The typical salsa verde for topping is just the tomate, white raw onion, garlic, cilantro.

You boil the tomates with the garlic and you turn off the heat when they start changing colour, otherwise they will over cook. Then you just blend everything together in a blender and add the chopped cilantro and salt to taste. All the crap you put in it kind of defeats the purpose of using the tomate, and roasting everything just gives everything a sugary profile.

I wasn't insulting you, it's a simple fact that you took something and fucked it up. The real insult is to call that salsa verde.

white girls always need something creamy in their mouth user you can't blame them

I forgot you boil the jalapeños/serranos whichever chile you're using with the tomates and garlic. They usually need more time than the tomates.

So I didn't make your "typical" version, so it isn't salsa verde? Shits green, old man. It's sauce. It smells and tastes good, I don't think that's a fuck up. It's not sugary at all

I like the idea of blending the onions in raw. I'll probably do that next time

Well if you're going by colour then technically a pesto is a salsa verde as well.

It isn't about it being "typical" there are variations such as omitting the cilantro, or using saw tomate. The problem with yours is that it breaks from the entire point of the salsa of being a light tart condiment that will complement something like a heavy salty meat in a taco or creamy fried beans. It's like those shitty bottled ones that are just cumin and vinegar. At what point does it stop being a salsa verde? It isn't at the colour, it is how it is used particularly because tomates aren't exclusively green they come in different varities and colours and they don't call it "purple salsa" or "yellow salsa" when they do so. By adding the fat, making it a heavy topping, the cumin and roasting completely changing the flavour profile you've fucked it up. It's a tomate sauce but it's most definitely not a salsa verde.

You also have to test each jalapeño before cooking(bite a tiny piece of each). Jalapeños vary greatly in heat. Some are as mild as bell peppers and other can give you as much heat as Serranos.

I have a recipe that uses shallots instead of white onions and you reduce that until it's thick consistency. It's quite good.

Also, I'm not feeling the chicken stock, but to each their own.

Sorry to sound like an idiot but why is tinfoil used inside the glassware?

I don't understand, dude. I'm tasting it right now. It's light and tart. The texture is a little thick, but who cares?

I wanted something flavorful that would go well with breakfast burritos, and be thick enough to not squish out the sides when I roll it. If those criteria preclide it from being salsa verde, thats sonething ive never heard before. I feel like your point is to tell me that I failed in something I never set out to do. So, I guess in that case, you're right?

You probably think chili can't have beans, either

I'm too lazy to wash it >_>

I like you.

I get upset when people don't use tinfoil. I just think to myself

GOOD FUCKING LUCK CLEANING THAT SHIT OFF YOUR PAN, SHITBIRD! I FUCKIN' TRIED TO TELL YA

That's why I asked where the recipe came from or if it was your idea.

>It's light
>The texture is a little thick

All I am saying is that what you made isn't a salsa verde, it's a tomate sauce. Of course is going to be tart, you loaded it with lime juice and that would never be required in a salsa verde. Like I said there can be variations and changed to it like this user mentioned. I've even had roasted tomate ones were they are able to keep the flavour/texture profile of the salsa were they added coriander to it.

Not only are you making it wrong, you're using it wrong as well. Salsa doesn't go into burritos because that just makes a big mess. That's why it's typical of using the tomato, onion, cilantro salad when making a burrito, if you want it creamy add avocado/guacamole. That's why Burritos Ahogados (drowned burritos) are a thing, for when you want salsa on your burritos.

I have no problems with beans in chilli. Again, where did you get this recipe? From some flyover wifey's blog?

What you made may taste good but it's not salsa verde. Don't be a retard. It stopped being a verde the moment you added that chicken stock.

hey buddy I got a little secret to share with you

>using it wrong

Oh dear. Promise you won't tell on me?

And

No one has ever thought of that before! Greasing pans? Wat!

You still have to clean the pan

spotted the flyover

Lol what a faggot.


I make like 2 quarts of traditional verde like once a week at my job. 12 bushels of parsley, 6 bushels of mint, chopped by hand, 6 anchovy filets, a couple tablespoons of capers and microplaned garlic made into a paste and then toss it all with just enough olive oil to cover.

Oh and salt obv.

Being a little bitch about being corrected won't help. You yourself mentioned the problem of it "squishing" out the sides. Your tomate sauce isn't going to remedy the problem nor the fact that you'll have a soggy wet mess if you let it sit for any amount of time.

There are reasons that things like salsas, sauces, moles &c. are classified differently; because they're used for different reasons and to rectify certain problems. They didn't just pull it out of their ass and gave it a name. Like I mentioned before it's fine that you like what you made, But why do you refuse to tell us where the recipe for this came and the modifications that you decided to make.

You're probably like those people that took corn back to Europe/Africa but didn't bother to learn the Nixtamalization process and why it's needed, and next thing you know you have populations dying of pellagra. You ignore or don't comprehend why things are done and scuff and get annoyed when someone tries to correct you.

Okay now you're being autistic

Cosa voule dire he vaffanculo?
That sounds like a salsa verte!

Not an argument and even if I was autistic (which I doubt you know what it really means) it would be irrelevant to what I'm trying to say. Where did the recipe come from?

I've been making/rolling burritos for a while now. I imagine that you've been arguing with no less than three randos that your opinion is best.

I looked up about a dozen recipes and took what I liked, and added some parts that weren't in any. Sorry I didn't learn it from Abuelita in San Guadelajaramadre

>whole wheat tortilla
Alright, now you really fucked up

It has nothing to do with "authenticity" or being made from some spic grandmother. It has to do with the fact that what you made isn't a salsa verde. You calling it thus won't make it so. Also you're using wheat tortilla? No wonder you can't taste the sugar in the roasted vegetables you made. What I've said isn't an opinion it's a fact. There is a reason why there are different classifications between salsas, sauces, moles, bechamel &c.

But thanks for sharing your vague frankenstinian way of making recipes. In conclusion you didn't make a Salsa Verde so yes you failed as I initially had stated.

Set out to make tasty breakfast treats, ended up with breakfast treats.

I dunno, nigga, life's looking pretty good over here

>Hey Veeky Forums,
>First attempt at salsa verde tonight.
No mention of "tasty treats". You mention salsa verde, which I told you that you failed at it.

>You can see me fuck up in real-time
You predicted your own failure yourself, and now to try to save face you come up with a stupid attempt to deflect with "hurr durr set out to make tasty treats." No you set out to make salsa verde and you failed. Whether your breakfast treats are tasty or not are subjective. For me the garbage sugar tortilla, shitty tomatoe sauce and plastic pseudocheese doesn't appeal to me. But to each their own. Bottom line is you didn't make salsa verde, you failed. Miserably I might add.

Man, you're a real cunt

That's what happens when you're angry and half-full of cheap liquor

How am I a cunt? For pointing out facts? Sorry sweethearts did I trigger you? You want me to leave your safespace to spare your feefees?
When you resort to insulting me without making an argument or discussing it means you have nothing to add. Bottom line is you didn't make a salsa verde, you failed. Try again next time don't give up learning how to cook some day you'll make something edible.

...

Wow nigga

kek op got rekt

im going to have to agree with this user salsa in a burrito is underwear on head retarded especially breakfast ones. wtf is wrong with your burrito? like cheese much sheez...
were is the potato your food is shit

>Mfw OP got

B T F O
T
F
O

I don't like the plastic handle on your dutch lid is that even oven safe?

>reducing
>salsa
Choose one. Not to sound like that other user but you really don't seem to know what a salsa is.

>cooking the cilantro
What's the point of cooking it? You're supposed to wait until the salsa cools down before adding it. You just cooked away all the flavor.

Mexican here, a very simple foolproof salsa verde goes as this. Put your tomatillos, jalapeños (serrano is better) and a piece of garlic in a boiling water pot, boil until the tomatillos soften up (changes color to a dull green). Blend with some fresh cilantro, salt, pepper (and whatever else spice you want, juice from a lime adds a nice twist) and that's it.

That is literally what the other user said here:
Op was just being stupid and argumentative because he got told.

> Salsa verde is supposed to be a light, tangy, slightly acidic topping. Roasting everything just makes it all a sugary (green ketchup) thing.

Language changes over time, not always for the better, but it is what it is. What Salsa Verde is today, is something which can be made from roasted ingredients.

Democracy sucks when you get outvoted :/

Figuratively literally.

> It also doesn't need lime

> juice from a lime adds a nice twist

How many Salsa Verde Asada recipes do you think are out there (also on .mx domains) which use some kind of stock too?

You're destroying him dude, keep going. Disincentivise cooking on this board even further, you're super clever and cool and handsome believe me!

On behalf of the ENTIRE spic community, you FUCKING BLEW IT OP!
That being said if it tastes good go for it. Since you have tomatillos anyway try for Pozole Verde next time.

Salsa verde isn't English it's Spanish. No Spanish speaker would call what that salsa verde. It's a green sauce.

I'm the one that said it doesn't need lime, the one that said that lime adds a twist is the Mexican one. Like he said it adds a twist, it isn't necessary.

>How many Salsa Verde Asada recipes do you think are out there (also on .mx domains) which use some kind of stock too?
None. Stock isn't used in salsas.

Only a sensitive little bitch would consider constructive criticism as a disincentive. On the contrary I told him to continue trying until he gets it right. I was initially not rude nor insulting and I shared the simplicity of the recipe. How correcting someone and giving them advice/criticism can be seen as negative is beyond me. Then again we do live in such a vaginized society that it shouldn't surprise me how sensitive and easily offended people are, and how quick they are to resort to argue and throw insults or passive-aggressive comments commenting on my appearance or intelligence that have nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I find it funny how the OP opens up with "Watch me fuck up live" proceeds to really fuck up live and then get all defensive.

Here a Salsa Verde Asada with roasting (duh) and stock from a Spanish speaker doing a video in English.

youtube.com/watch?v=vq3eT2wCz4w

Here is the very first result, from a Spanish speaker speaking in Spanish.

youtu.be/UucArTAepnY?t=212

I didn't cherry pick, the third and first result for Salsa Verde Asada on youtube for me. Reality seems unwilling to line up with your opinions.

you were initially very rude and autistic

not OP btw :^)))

wow you sound butthurt.
Unless there's not a word for this variation, it is still salsa verde since it's salsa verde with some added stuff.

Newsflash autist, no matter whether you add cream and bacon and peas to your carbonara, it's still fucking carbonara.

>this thread is still up because of the drunk sperging out over the definition of salsa verde
Oh, you guys....