Helpful thread

That doesn't work. It had to be under pressure to not go flat.

>I'm getting into aging cocktails in barrels
Fucking retard.

Look at the shit websites, read the comments, adjust the recipes as you see fit.

I almost never follow recipes 100%, regardless of the source. You know what you like better than the person who wrote the recipe does. You just need a grasp of the basic ten uniques and flavors in the dish, the rest is very flexible.

>irony: the post

I poop really big hard turds that really hurt my ass, sometimes I hold it in for days because I don't want to feel the pain but that only makes it worse.
How can I replace my diet to make it more loose

Take a fibre supplement.

I drink a lot of beer and I woke up today and my kidneys hurt. Am I gonna die?

Eventually, yes.

SHIT

sorry, but its obvious the chicken was put in the box after chocolates were taken out. they dont even fit right

dumbass pic to choose op

So these bad boys are on sale, a top round london broil, for 2.88 a lb.

Now I'm not sure what the best way to prepare it is, baking or pan frying or grilling or something else?
Also would I be able to cut it into strips or sections and cook it that way or is that not what you do?

How do I substitute light soy sauce? Seriouseats says that light soy sauces "are lighter and thinner than their darker, richer counterparts, but have a more assertive, salty flavor and a slight sweetness from the addition of mirin, a sweet rice wine", so dark soy sauce + mirin? What are the proportions, if so?

sous vide (or poached in oil) at exactly 62.5 degrees Celsius for about four hours

57.5 if you want it medium rare, which you probably don't

I'm a vegetarian. There are obvious 'meat' substitutes you can get sometimes like veggie burgers, but there's also stuff people use that tastes pretty good but I have no idea what it is.

Like there's a burrito place called Burrito Boyz here thats kind of like Subway for burritos and their veggie burritos come with some kinda fake meat

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Okay, thanks for the advice!

you're welcome. consider adding some aromatics in the SV bag, but remember that a little goes a very long way, what with the vacuum and the long cooking time

their website says "veggie soy"

burritoboyz.ca/

More fiber. I've got in the habit of eating a salad every day. I'll buy a 3 pack of romaine hearts and 3 tomatoes, which makes 6 salads that I put in individual ziplock round containers so I'm good for the week.

Make an israeli salad and eat it at least once a day. They're tastier than the normal salad and healthier. Also pound back as much steamed veg, applesauce and stewed rhubarb (or rhubarb pie) as possible, and if you're still having problems, mix slippery elm bark into warm water before each meal and drink it down. It should help. Also you could mix a spoonful of psyllium husk into two cups of warm water and drink it down once a day to supplement everything else - it's the active ingredient in metamucil.

Question for you all: I'm on antibiotics and recovering from rocky mountain spotted fever. What foods will get me better the fastest?

I'm no expert but I'd say go for a ratio of 1 part mirin to 4 parts soy sauce. Mirin is very sweet.
Usually ye olde fake meat will be made of soy protein or wheat gluten. My favorite recipe is: take a pound of firm tofu, cover it with a plate, then put a brick on top of the plate. Leave it in the fridge for 2 hours. Then, cut it into 1/4" pieces and make a marinade of 1/2 cup tamari or shoyu, 1/3 cup water, 3 cloves minced garlic, 1 tablespoon onion powder, 3 tablespoons some kind of grease (olive oil works, but I bet palm oil would be awesome) 1/4 teaspoon brown sugar, and 1 tablespoon ketchup. Put the tofu in a baking dish in one layer, pour the marinade over it, and bake it at 350 F for half an hour, turning it over once or twice. It's pretty damned good.