Ikea food

Ikea food is top notch cooking compared to the unrealistic standards and fantasies you faggots drool over here in cu/ck/ing. This aint even up for debate, you know it, I know it, so write your frustrations away and shit on my opinion, but its still true.

Why doesn't Ikea sell "food kits" that contain all of the raw ingredients for their meatballs with a minimalist, picture-only recipe book for how to prepare them?

I went to 99 cents and recreated their signature swedish meatball and mash potato dish for $3.

It tasted completely identical.
You people are eating dollar store bottom of the barrel microwavable trash.

It's pretty top shit, m8. Love me some cafeteria meatballs.

I don't know, but it seems like there's that preference in all of us for "shitty" food that reminds of us of our past, of simpler times. For me, that's crock pot burgers that were made on a propane grill, then they throw it on a room temp bun with room temp cheese. Put a little ketchup, onions, and spray butter on it and I'm putty in your hands.

Oh yeah? Well I went to Ikea and gave them 99 cents and they made the best dish you can get and it cost me three times less than 3$ so suck on that, jewboy
Why does your mom give out blowjob coupons behind McDonalds while you shitpost on Veeky Forums?

When I moved in the Netherlands I went to an Ikea early in the morning (had no bed and slept on my clothes)

the place was fucking PACKED with arabs and poor people waiting for their breakfast (the store was not open yet)

Why the fuck are local people taking breakfast outside, why the fuck do they do it in a fucking industrial zone ikea ?

Its like Veeky Forums is this fancy baroque court with everyone being snobbish nobles while at the same time smelling of cheap french fries and urine, making it seem like the actually know what 'chai' or 'saute' means. For fucks sake

Well from that first paragraph of your post it seems like you fit right in

Hey Elliot, don't you have some dressers to recall?

Actually I am pretty rich, I was just moving places

I fucking love their food. Especially this masterpiece.

I can't imagine there would be a big audience for those. I'm pretty sure that if people wanted to make the meatballs, they'd just buy the ingredients from the store. And people who just want Ikea meatballs can buy the frozen meatballs.

The thing about Ikea food is that it only costs $3 in the first place.

>I can't imagine there would be a big audience for those.

Lol it's actually already a thing.

because people would be turned off by the pork and beef anuses

I've bought an IKEA cookbook for like €5,50 and there's a recipe for their meatballs actually
it's not like the instructions to build the furniture but I ain't complaining

>unrealistic standards and fantasies you faggots drool over

>i can't cook, therefore nobody else here can

>a little ketchup, onions, and spray butter on it and I'm putty in your hands

Wow, as much nostalgia as you can get from foods from your childhood, there are certain things that you really should have grown out of.

In Hungary they sell those, lol. Not even joking.

did it tell you where to buy the lingonberries?

I asked at the supermarket, and they looked at me like I was asking them to drybum me over the deli counter.

I've only ever ordered the gravlax.

They're not even that great, but always look more appealing than anything else at the cafeteria/restaurant.

What a waste of quads

What a waste of a post.

Ikea mustard is a divine elixir from God

Get organic falafel mix ~2€
Some cheap fries, fried in sunflowerseed oil ~1€
Some tsatsiki (or make it yourself, we literally made it in grade school as some kind of project) ~1€

Poor hot water over mix, use fork to blend a little. Wait 15 min, browse Veeky Forums or whatever
Get back into kitchen, put fries into oven, form falafel balls and put into pan (use lots of sunflowerseed oil)
If your stove goes from 1-9 and you roast meat at 9, use 7 for the falafel
When falafel are in the pan, leave kitchen for 3-5 min, browse Veeky Forums
Get back into kitchen, flip falafel once, leave kitchen for 3-5 min, browse 4 chan
Get back into kitchen, turn off stove and wiggle the pan around a little
Once fries are done, put everything on a plate

You now have a quite healthy alternative to ikeas shit, costing you about 10 minutes of your time. Also it's not more expensive than ikea as the portion is way larger.

Maybe it's not up to the standards of Veeky Forums, but it's fast, delicious, not too unhealthy and cheap.
>inb4 there's no meat
All memes aside, if you want fast, not too unhealthy food, vegan/vegetarian stuff is actually pretty nice. In my experience the cheaper stuff from discounters is actually better than the expensive brands, so the price is OK too.
I'm not a vegetarian btw., I just tried some of the stuff, since good meat is quite expensive and it turned out way better than expected.

Stopped reading at "organic".

If a recipemaker thinks it matters whether an ingredient is organic or not, they're not a good cook.

it wasn't written explicitly
implicitly it was obvious that I had to get the jam from IKEA
I imagine these berries to be pretty hard to find outside Scandinavia, so that seemed the most convenient idea to me

I actually don't know whether there are nonorganic alternatives at all in Germany, just wrote it down to emphasize, that relatively good, healthy food doesn't need to be expensive, even when you go organic. Anyway, if you're a good cook my post wouldn't help you at all, so whatever.

Don't they though.
Not sure what it's like over there in the US but here in Sweden they have their own sort of grocery story in the same warehouses as the restaurants. They always sell things they're already serving in the restaurant.

They have that here in the UK as well.
There's some good shit in there like their Sour Cream and Chive crisps.

>I imagine these berries to be pretty hard to find outside Scandinavia, so that seemed the most convenient idea to me
Lingonberry jam is available in most of central europe. Especially german-speaking countries.