Ok Veeky Forums, yesterday was my mom's birthday...

ok Veeky Forums, yesterday was my mom's birthday. her favorite restaurant is this really expensive thai place in town and i told her i'd take her there tonight. what the fuck is thai food? what should i order? i can't pronounce half of this shit. are drunken noodles actually alcoholic?

Get massaman curry. It's on of the best tasting dishes I've ever tried.

whoa they have that, nice

>being this flyover

i live in the middle of bumfuck kansas, sorry for not being cultured

Pad thai is pretty safe. You seem like an uncultured swine so get the lowest spice level when they ask.

no i love spicy foods, i was gonna get the spiciest

Don't get the hottest. The heat from those little Thai peppers can easily overwhelm every other flavor in a dish.

4/5 level will be more than enough to make you sweat and get your eyes wattering

honestly man, get at least 1 level below thai hot or the highest one. It's more heat than food honestly.

ok, thanks for the pointers. i love ghost pepper salsa so i considered myself prepared for super spicy stuff, but i don't like food where the heat is the attraction instead of the flavor

>thai place
>really expensive

The fuck?

You have to understand that thai people are insane and so are their spice levels. The mildest one will likely still have a bit of kick to it.

i'm in bumfuck kansas. 99% of restaurants here are fast food or diners. the fact an entree at this place is like $25 is expensive for what i'm used to

ok good deal

Beef drunken noodle

>green curry
>red curry
>yellow curry
>pad thai

order one of each and share. there is no other thai food.

Can anyone describe curry for someone who's never had it? Like a comparison to some other flavors in other dishes.

take a bunch of beef and shrimp and do diarrhea on it.

Tom Yum is pretty good if they don't fuck your bowl with spice
Chicken satay pretty safe
2nding every vote for pad thai

Papaya salad
Stufffed chicken wings
Larb
Green Curry
Mango and sticky rice for dessert

Other than that Tom Yum and Pad Thai are the safe classics.

Look out for gai yang (grilled chicken) som tam (spicy but refreshing green papaya salad) and sticky rice.
Thai restaurants often sell this as a set meal.

depends on the kind
sorta like a thick stew, but more flavorful

>her favorite restaurant is this really expensive thai place in town
I've never really encountered "expensive" thai, I'd say it's at worst $25/each by the end of the meal.

If it's her favorite, she'll already know what she wants to her, and she is the birthday girl. For yourself, either let her order, or have an idea that thai restaurants (for older people) are genteel, quiet and peaceful places, where you order courses and no one is loudly bothering others with conversations. It's a break from the roar over at the Cheesecake Factory.

If I'm with someone that never had thai before before, I usually start with spring or summer rolls and papaya salad, then a soup course or larb, maybe some peanut sauced satay, as it comes out on a baby hibachi, all depending on the season what seems best. Then we order 2 very different taste profile entrees, one should be a curry for sure, maybe a red and a basil-garlic item something with lemongrass, and split them between us so they can try both. I particularly think new-to-thai like the volcano chicken or pork with 3 flavors variations. When you have a larger crowd, it can be exciting to get a fried snapper, as they are served beautifully scored, whole and shaped. Nice presentation. The jasmine rice comes around the restaurant to be served, so don't order some kind of fried rice. Have a dessert ready to eat at home, or see if your mom wants to order some thai donuts which are like fried pieces of buttermilk biscuit dough in sweetened condensed milk dip. If you're lucky, there will be lychee sorbet.

>Pad Thai
Everyone keeps recommending this. I do NOT. Pad thai has fish sauce and is not newbie food.

>your mom is the birthday girl
wow, such a sexist. she's a woman.

Wut.

You can't taste it. Pad Thai is the most entry-level of Thai dishes. It's the spaghetti and marinara of Thai.

ignore everyone itt and order jungle curry

lighten up user, it's just food. pick something with a description that sounds good to you, and if no descriptions pick something at random and pretend to be happy with it whether or not you really are. don't be an ass and spoil your moms bday meal. also if you can't pronounce it then it's perfectly acceptable to point to it on the menu i the menu doesn't have numbers and shit by the names

That's pretty expensive for a Thai joint.

9/10 Thai dishes have fish sauce, dum dum.

massaman curry was ranked as the number 1 dish in the entire world

I'm American-born Thai and usually order this or Drunken noodles if I'm at a questionable Thai place. I've had some truly awful pad thai because of it. I always think "it's the #1 popular dish, they should at least have the experience to make a decent one, right?"

Proven wrong so many times. I think my new safe order is Pat Phrik (stir fried curry).

>9/10 Thai dishes have fish sauce, dum dum.
...and Pad Thai has the most.

>massaman curry was ranked as the number 1 dish in the entire world
And, it's an indian style curry at a thai restaurant. I would stick to more native thai dishes

Pad Thai is the pleb food of Thai cuisine. It's just noodles, sauce, a protein, and some vegetables. The sauce doesn't heavily taste of fish sauce so I don't know what you're on about.

>Pad Thai is the pleb food of Thai cuisine

OP is literally asking, "what the fuck is Thai food?"

Do you even cook?

I strongly stand by my earlier recommendation of massaman curry.

Pad Thai is basic bitch bullshit, green curry is hit and miss.

Massaman always makes me happy happy happy.

designated shitting meats