Do you have any family traditions surrounding food?

Do you have any family traditions surrounding food?

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jack off in the mashed potates every thanksgiving

i dont like my mashed potatoes salty personally

please kill me i cant do this anymore

i used to like a lot of pepper on my mashed potatoes but now i only like a tiny bit

Every October, on the anniversary of my father's death from injuries he received while incarcerated at Donavan State Penitentiary, we all gather around the family homestead and make a traditional Prison Spread. I can post the recipe if interested.

None of this is bullshit. It started off as a dark joke that became tradition.

Please post it. And tell us about your father, user.

my dads parents slowly kill me with calories and my moms parents lecture me on leftist politics. not sure which is worse.

My father was a good man. He got in to trouble while younger, but straightened up when he had me. Worked hard his whole life.

But then my stepmother got deported. My dad is white, so having to drive back and forth across the Mexican border for work was taxing; financially and emotionally. He decided to try and make some extra money the old TJ way. He drove a car packed with narcotics to a destination, but for pulled over.

Apparently he died from prison wine poisoning, which we all knew was bullshit. He had told us he was scared of someone in there who was affiliated with the dealers that sent him with the narcotics.

Anyways, the recipe:
>ramen noodles cooked with hot sink water
>drain and mix noodles with mayonaise and mustard
>add chopped slim jims, fritos, hot Cheetos, and Tijuana Mamas (spicy pickled sausage snack)
>sprinkle the ramen seasoning packet to taste. It's considered bad taste to use a whole packet per one bag of ramen used.

No. Thank God.
Speaking of God, my family used to always say grace before dinner but they knocked that shit off by the time I was in high school. My father was always agnostic and my mother was "Catholic" just because it made her look like a good person.

dog hates op

Your dad probably killed himself after realizing he had to eat garbage like that for tge rest of his life

Yes we have this very special tradition that we do everytime we cook food and that is to eat the food we cooked.

My family and I literally never ate a single meal as a unit before because we're so dysfunctional and fucked as a family (aside from thanksgiving and christmas). Also we just don't eat breakfast.

Friday is pizza and Sodie Pops
Saturday is burgers, fries and Ice Cream
Sunday we don't have lunch or dinner we have supper, and mammy cooks something fancy.
The rest of the week is w/e
None of us eats breakfast.

pass over

Was your family fat

no

was your family lazy?

yeah we all eat in our rooms and nobody cooks for anyone but themselves.

>garbage
youtu.be/ooGLzqDGd0w

maaan, you do what you can with what you have

Once a year, around easter (despite us not being religious at all), my mum and dad make kedgeree with cod
>In the West, Kedgeree is a dish consisting of cooked, flaked fish (traditionally smoked haddock), boiled rice, parsley, hard-boiled eggs, curry powder, butter or cream and occasionally sultanas.
It is fucking disgusting and only mum and dad like it. It stinks out the entire house and makes my brothers and I angry. My dad usually drinks when he cooks and it's easter so my brothers and I also usually get drunk as well. Often on the easter saturday a very loud drunken argument will occur over the barely eaten pot of stinking kedgeree between the entire family.

We don't usually argue much so it's almost like an airing of grievances. Fuck I hate kedgeree.

Every Christmas my grandpa made spout.
When he was a kid he had, like, ten brothers and sisters. They lived on a farm and didn't want to do shit for cooking when it was fucking cold out. So they took all the meat and potato and shit they had lying around and made big ass pie for everyone to eat until Christmas had passed. They all loved it.

So ever Christmas he would send both of his kids and his sister a big old spout that he spent weeks preparing. It would have beef, pork, turkey, moose, deer, elk, probably beaver or some shit, if can die it can go in a pie.

Of course he's getting on and doesn't have the vigour to make a bunch of huge meat pies himself. So his sister does it while he supervises.
I was never super crazy over it as a kid but it was fun seeing how excited he'd get over this pie.

I have an obese family.
I too am obese but trying to lose weight but our family traditions make it hard

>McDonalds every Thursday
>KFC every Monday
>'Ice Cream Truck Italian Dinner Days' which are basically something we do every Summer at least 5 times. Basically the ice cream truck comes and we pay the driver extra to take plates of my mothers food, usually spaghetti Bolognaise because that is all she cooks, close his 'window' then clean the dish in his truck and cover the plate with ice cream, we take it inside and pretend that my mothers food turned into ice cream because 'the gods of hunger saw we were losing too much weight'. Usually we'll also have some cones with it as well in place of breadsticks and some 'garlic bread' which is just mint chocolate chip spread over some pastry
>On the day after Christmas we have a second Turkey, but my dad carves it using his 'cake knife' which is a meat cleaver he uses for cake, then he serves the turkey with a gateaux
>On Christmas Eve we have a tradition where we go out for KFC and get a family bucket each, the family joke is 'The Turkey gave us tips on where to find some good chicken as a reward he gets an extra day of life'
>During Ramadan we have feasts after midnight, even though we aren't Muslim and don't fast
>If we run out of candy we have to spend $20 each the next day on candy

I am fat, I dislike it.

that's fuckin bizarre and disgusting m8

fuckin move out mate

>fatasses use ramadan as an excuse for eating more eventhough they re not muslim.

This sounds like a psychological horror

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>The Turkey gave us tips on where to find some good chicken as a reward he gets an extra day of life
that's a good joke

when you get the chance, run

dat dank ass chee chee

We never had a single dinner as a family without my mother bitching at my brother because he was a lowlife drug-addict (He was rarely at home, and it was fun when he was)
Also my father worked with fish and never bothered to shower until after we had eaten, and my mother would constantly bitch at him because of this.

The last family dinner we had was 20 years ago. Come to think of it, my mother was a fucking cunt.

Black eyed peas on New Years, for good luck.

Eat everything or my dad beats me

Your brother probably became a drug addict because of her or he wasn't at all and she was making up something to bitch about and your father just probably gave up on life.

weirdo

>>During Ramadan we have feasts after midnight, even though we aren't Muslim and don't fast
You make me laugh, user.

we make candied pecans on new years and call it pigeon shit, we always burn the crescent rolls, have coffee after dinner, and watch Charlton Heston movies on easter and christmas

Every Sunday my father MUST have pasta with meat sauce, even if we had pasta like 3x that week in various forms. I am the only one in my house that eats leftovers, so basically there would be weeks I would eat pasta nearly every day. I got so sick of eating pasta that I don't even join the dinner table on sunday anymore, so they end up making less pasta, meaning less leftovers that I will eventually either have to eat or throw away. I don't feel bad because we have family dinner several times per week and I'll still eat pasta together on holidays and stuff. It just gets ridiculous when Christmas Eve is on Friday, Christmas is on Saturday, and then Sunday is TIME FOR PASTA once again.

I live in an Italian-American family if that wasn't clear enough.

...

Holy fuck there are legit Google reviews for a fucking prison


why is this so funny

I'm Italian, but I never understood the whole pasta for holidays thing. Or not having any type of medium sized creature cooked whole for holidays. Because I'm also German and British.

Pasta is so easy to make and poor in nutrition, it's definitely better as an everyday meal. I wouldn't cook it for a big group and pretend I contributed more than I would have if I brought a vegetable platter.

>raisins, eggs, and fish

what the fuck is wrong with England

If you buy Yorkshire puddings you are to be excommunicated from the family.

Christmas Eve we get Japanese take-out and heat up some mediocre sake and open the back porch doors so it gets cold and my dad and I watch Kurosawa movies. Christmas Day we all give each other those little bottles of liquor, my mom and Grandma always called them "little soldiers" and we make boozy coffee and wear Santa hats and open presents, then Christmas Dinner is a rib roast.

Sounds pretty comfy desu sempai, I'd chill with your family.

Making a good sauce can be fairly labor intensive though. I don't know how fancy your family gets, but I would say it's the single most time-consuming task for mine.

You mean SUNDAY GRAVY WITH GABBAGOOL

AYYYYYYY.

Yeah my mom calls it gravy. Never actually had gabbagool before.

Yeah I'm only Italian on one side and never was old enough to discern what a good sauce would taste like. Nobody in my family is serious anyway, I started trying to make my own sauce with basil, bay leaf, cinnamon stick, brown sugar and chives.

For a "Sunday gravy with gabbagool" as the other user put it, we seared pork neck bones, deglaze the pan, and add it all to the sauce. I haven't actually gotten around to learning how to make it which is a shame, so I can't tell you much more, but having a cheap cut of meat with lots of flavor to seep into the sauce is important.

What about crab? I love the flavor of crabs and spaghetti but it's disgusting peeling crabs covered in sauce. I was told that's how they're supposed to be served, but I'd rather just do what I do and then add chunk crabmeat.

Philly cheese steaks on Christmas eve

I don't remember why we do this. We are all lactose intolerant too.

Crab sauce is our Christmas Eve tradition with spaghetti. My grandma makes it so I don't know too much, but she does cook them whole in the sauce and then serve them messy as you described. My intuition is that adding chunk crabmeat won't give the same flavor because of the other connective tissues in the crab that add flavor. Same way adding shredded pork meat to a sauce isn't the same as neck bones.