What a Fedora Imagines When He Orders Black Coffee

>*A portly fellow in a flame shirt waddles to the counter of a Starbucks*
>"What would you like sir?"
>*The atheist squints around the coffee bar, his hands at the sides of his khaki shorts like he had two holsters. With one hand he expertly pulls out his wallet and with the other, he brings the tip of his hat down before placing his order*
>"Coffee. Black."
>*A hush falls over the patrons and staff. Women gush in their panties as whispers from men can't believe what's transpiring. The barista looks like he's about to faint, his grip on the cup furiously shaking as he slides it over the counter to our hero*
>*The cheetoh avenger slaps down a sticky five and a quarter with his hamhock fist before mumbling to no one that they should "keep the change", knowing he's a far more euphoric human being than people that put sugar or milk in their coffee*

I went to McDonald's today and got a Filet-O-Fish combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audiobook when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered outside having a cigarette.

She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story.

I went to McDonald's for dinner tonight and got a McChicken combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot where it is cold'.

That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy.

Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

How do you feel about eating in your vehicle in the parking lot of a fast food restaurant versus eating inside the restaurant?

Please be a pasta

Is this a pasta? I'm new to this board.

It is. Stale too.

Much prefer the inside of my car. It actually fits the mood of being a disgusting feeder. Almost like my own private gestation crate.

>be me
>a highly intelligent gentleman who is picky about quality and value
>often looking for a delicious new lunch spot
>try Burger King on a whim

My friends I tell you, it was one of the best meals I have had this year. The crisp vegetables mixed with the moist and hot broiled burger. The cool soda, the hot and crunch fries, totally blown away.

I was able to get a value meal for $5.99 and they even complimented my shirt. They don't let black people touch your food and they also have ice cream.


Head on down to Burger King today and get yourself some good mood food. You won't regret it!!

Popeyes Mighty Good Fried Chicken was first opened in Arabi, Louisiana, a suburb of New Orleans in St. Bernard Parish, on June 12, 1972 as "Chicken on the Run"
The restaurant was founded on quality and attention to detail and nothing has changed since the moment they opened their first store.

My friends let me tell you. The moment I took a bite of my first piece of dark meat my life changed. I knew I would never be the same again.

>that flavor
>that crunch
>those spices
>the table side service and clean floors.


Popeye's has changed the restaurant game forever. I encourage you to run, not walk, down to Popeye's today!

I fucking hate this board

>having a neighborhood cookout
>making Ball Park Flame Grilled Burgers with Kraft American Singles and Ore Ida french fries on the side
>the food's good but could use a kick
>neighbor brings over a bottle of Heinz Ketchup from his kitchen

My friends, I must say Heinz really saved the day. There's no better addition to a cheeseburger with fries, the classic All-American meal. Made only with the freshest, juiciest tomatoes, it's no wonder Heinz is the world's favorite. Whether you're having Ball Park Hamburgers or Tyson Boneless Chicken Wings, it's the perfect addition to anything.

Grab a bottle at your nearest Safeway today. Heck, buy two and give one to a friend! They won't thank you enough.

My friends let me tell you, this post really changed my view on things, the richness and insight opened my eyes to things greater than myself, greater than I could have possibly suspected

For me, it's the McDouble. Intelligent, nihilistic, and with a wicked sense of humor.

I thought Safeway was a South Park joke

kek

And don't forget, Heinz is a proud provider of the worlds best ketchup to Burger KingĀ®. Just because your grill isn't working doesn't mean you have to go without an All-American meal!

When did the coffee industry start a viral marketing campaign to shame people who don't pour gallons of fat or sugar on their coffee? Is unsweet tea going to be a fedora item next?

So pasta thread?

haha good meme

but for real though i'd rather get my sugar for the day elsewhere thanks

This is in my top ten pastas. I read it beginning to end every time.

...

im not reading this shit go away